Naomi’s Christmas (26 page)

The gift exchange was a little ritual they had enjoyed every year since the first
time they’d met. In theory, you didn’t know who had drawn your name, but in such a
small group it wasn’t hard to guess, especially once you saw the gift.

Naomi had pulled Rachel’s name at the last meeting, and it had taken a bit of thinking
to come up with something different. But Rachel, who was well-known for her greenhouses,
would surely like the packets of heritage seeds Naomi had sent away for. They were
all for varieties of vegetables or flowers that were seldom seen these days, and if
anyone could grow them, Rachel could.

The gifts were opened amid laughter and squeals as they acted like the girls they’d
once been. When they left, they’d all go back to being mature wives and mothers, but
for a time this afternoon they were young again together.

Naomi’s gift was a set of beautifully hand-quilted place mats, and it wasn’t hard
to figure out that Myra, a devoted quilter, had probably made them. Once all the gifts
were opened, each person held up her gift and the giver identified herself. Sure enough,
hers was from Myra.

Naomi turned from hugging Myra to be enveloped in a huge hug from Rachel. “Clever
Naomi,” she whispered. “You knew exactly what I’d love. I’ll bring you the first ripe
heritage tomato.”

Mary Ann and Elizabeth Yoder, who were married to brothers, were laughing together
over the fact that they’d gotten each other exactly the same thing—a quilted teapot
cover. The two of them really seemed to have tastes in common.

In a moment Leah was coming around with the coffeepot again, and the group settled
down for the talking and laughing that was always the best part of their Christmas
lunch. There had been a time when Naomi and Leah were the single ones, listening to
everyone else talk about their kinder.

Then Leah had married, acquiring Daniel’s three young ones and having her little Rachel
Anna, and Naomi had been left the only maidal.

At least now she had Sadie and Joshua to talk about, and her story of the children
telling their Christmas wishes to the bees brought on laughter and maybe a tear or
two. After all, Ada had been a key part of their group for years.

“I hope the young ones weren’t too upset by Emma’s fall,”
Myra said, her gentle face going solemn. “That would be frightening for a child.”

“I think they feel better since they’ve visited Emma at the rehab center. She looked
like herself again and was so happy to see them that maybe it wiped away the scariness.”

“That’s gut to hear,” Mary Ann said. “And I know you’ve been keeping them too busy
to brood about it.”

“Busy kinder are happy kinder.” Leah voiced the common Amish belief.

And she was right, Naomi had found. Children who had no responsibilities and nothing
to occupy them seemed to get lost. If Nathan had begun to see that he needed to allow
Joshua some responsibility, she had done something good.

“You are so gut for those kinder,” Myra said. “When you are really their mamm—” She
stopped, turning pink. “I…I mean—”

Naomi struggled to understand. Why would Myra think such a thing? She glanced around
the circle of faces and realized to her shock that Myra wasn’t the only one.

“You all think Nathan and I will wed? But that’s ridiculous.”

“Naomi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to speak.” Myra looked on the verge of tears.
No one who knew gentle Myra could think she’d intended to spread gossip or to hurt
Naomi.

“It’s all right.” She tried to keep her voice calm despite the fact that she was shaking
inside.

“Ach, we might as well confess. We were talking about it before you came in.” Rachel
smiled ruefully. “But it’s only natural, isn’t it? We know you love those kinder.
And we love you. We want you to be happy.”

“Ja, I love them,” Naomi said carefully. “I love taking care
of them. But that doesn’t mean either Nathan or I have thought of marriage.” Nathan
never would, she thought, her heart clutching.

“Don’t be hurt by our chatter,” Leah said, reaching out to pat her hand. “We think
about how much you missed, taking care of your brothers and sisters all those years.
As Rachel said, we want you to be happy.”

Naomi had been foolish not to realize some might think her taking care of Nathan’s
children would lead to marriage. Not maliciously, the way Jessie thought it, but with
kind hearts and good intentions. Maybe she’d known what people were thinking and just
didn’t want to admit it to herself.

“It does seem like the perfect solution,” Lovina said, with a wistful look that one
seldom saw on her capable face. “Then Daad Sam would stop trying to make you move
in with us.” She stopped, looking a little flustered. “Not that you wouldn’t always
be wilkom…”

“Lovina Esch!” Naomi stared at her sister-in-law, unable to repress a smile. “You
don’t want me to move in and take care of your kinder after all, ain’t so?”

Lovina looked at her for a moment, eyes wide, and then suddenly they were both laughing
helplessly.

“I’m sorry.” Lovina mopped at her eyes. “It’s just…you know how your daad is, and
sometimes Elijah is chust as bad. It never occurs to them that I might want to raise
my own kinder. But you would always be wilkom…”

“Ach, Lovina, don’t say it, or you’ll start me laughing again.” Naomi realized the
others were watching them with expressions ranging from amused to perplexed. “I love
you like a sister, but I don’t want to live with you. And I know you
feel the same way. So why didn’t you tell Daad and Elijah that at the very beginning?”

Lovina’s cheeks turned pink, but she didn’t answer.

She didn’t need to. Naomi knew. Lovina, like the rest of the family, relied on Naomi
to deal with Daad for them, only this was one time when it seemed she’d failed.

Daad’s
farm was only a short detour on Naomi’s route back to Nathan’s house. Plucking up
her courage, she turned the mare down the lane.

Bishop Mose had been right. She had to try again to make peace with Daad. She couldn’t
put it off any longer, hoping for some miracle. If she really was the adult woman
she claimed to be, she would make the effort.

The mare, sensing familiar territory, quickened her pace, and soon they turned into
the narrow road that led to the house and barns. The fields still wore a blanket of
white from the weekend’s snow, but the lane was bare, beginning to freeze into winter’s
ruts.

The animals were in, which no doubt meant that Daad was at the barn or the milking
shed. Naomi bypassed the house, driving to the barn and stopping at the hitching post.

A few quick steps took her to the open barn door, where a shaft of watery sunlight
made patterns on the heavy plank floor. One of the stall doors was open. Bessie, the
oldest of the workhorses, stood patiently while Daad knelt, applying fomentations
to her off foreleg.

Naomi moved into the stall, stroking the horse’s neck, and Bessie whickered in recognition.
“Problems?”

Daad grunted, not turning from his task. “Cold weather’s hard on her anymore. I noticed
this foreleg swelling up a bit last night. Ach, well, she’s getting old.”

“Poor old girl.” Naomi smoothed her hand over the velvety muzzle. “Daad will make
it better.”

The words sent a pang to her heart. Everyone knew how much patience and care Sam Esch
had for his animals. She sometimes wished he’d had the same patience for his children.

“Ja, I’m not ready to give up on the old girl yet.” Daad rose, running his hand up
the fetlock. He shot Naomi a glance before bending again to check the mare’s other
legs. “You are here to talk to me, ja?”

At least his temper wasn’t flaring at the sight of her. “I don’t want to be at odds
with you, Daadi. Can’t we make up this quarrel between us?”

He didn’t respond immediately, but Naomi thought she saw a bit of softening in the
quick glance he sent her way. Then he bent again to check the poultice.

“I’ve heard some talk.” His voice was a bit muffled by his position. “It seems some
folks are thinking that Nathan might want to marry you.”

Naomi’s heart sank. It would have been too much to hope that Daad wouldn’t get wind
of what seemed to be a common assumption.

“I wouldn’t have thought it myself,” Daad said. “But if so, well, a marriage like
that could be a gut thing.” He straightened, facing her. “So I’m asking you, daughter.
Is it true?”

Her stomach clenched, making her regret that piece of pumpkin cheesecake. She had
to say what she felt sure was true.

“I know some people have been wondering, and I’m sorry. But I’m sure Nathan hasn’t
thought of such a thing.” To her surprise, her voice stayed steady.

“No?” Daad’s eyebrows drew down over his eyes. “Then he is exposing you to gossip
and making you a laughingstock.” His voice rose a little, and she recognized the signs.
Daad was working himself into a fit of anger, and when he was angry, there was no
chance he’d listen to reason. Still, she had to try.

“Folks will soon stop talking when they realize there’s nothing to it. I am working
for him, taking care of the kinder. That’s all.”

“That’s not all.” Daad’s face reddened. “Do you think I want folks talking about one
of my daughters that way? You must stop this nonsense and move in with Elijah and
Lovina immediately.”

There they were, back at the same sticking point. If only Lovina would speak up for
herself—

“Daad, have you even considered that Elijah and Lovina might not want me moving in
to take care of their kinder? Maybe Lovina doesn’t want to spend her days working
in the store.” That was as close as she would go to betraying what was in Lovina’s
heart.

Daad brushed her words away with a sweep of his hand. “Nonsense,” he said again, his
gaze furious. “Never did I think you would be so willful, Naomi. If you will not do
what I think best, I have nothing else to say to you.” He turned his back.

Naomi reached out, nearly touching him. Her throat was tight with pain. “I’m sorry
you are disappointed in me,” she murmured.

She slipped out of the stall and went quickly outside. Her vision blurring with tears
she didn’t want to shed, she unclipped the mare from the hitching post and climbed
up to the seat.

She had done what she could. She had not returned anger with anger. As Bishop Mose
had said, if Daad could not forgive, the burden was on him. But if that was the case,
why did her heart feel so heavy?

She’d nearly reached the farmhouse when she realized that Betty had come outside and
was standing by the lane, clutching a heavy black sweater around her shoulders. Steeling
herself for more recriminations, Naomi drew to a stop.

“You have been talking to your daad,” Betty said, not bothering with pleasantries.
“How did it go?”

“Not well.” Naomi kept her tone guarded. Whatever she said to Betty might well be
repeated to her father.

Betty shook her head. “I feared as much.” She put her hand on the buggy, as if to
keep Naomi from driving off before she’d had her say. “I must tell you that I am sorry
for how things ended between us the day you came to the house. I never meant…” She
stopped, shook her head. “Ach, I’m sure you know that what I said was your father’s
idea. I didn’t want to get involved in it at all, but you know what he’s like when
he gets an idea in his head.”

She did, but she would think that a newlywed like Betty could figure out a way to
manage Daad. She reminded herself that she was out to mend fences today, not to erect
them.

“It’s all right, Betty. I’m not blaming you for this difficulty with Daad.”

“Gut.” Betty gave a sharp nod. “I am maybe the one person
in the family who understands what you are feeling. After all, I lived on my own for
a number of years.”

Naomi nodded, cautious. She hadn’t expected this overture of friendship from Betty,
and she feared it would end in the same way the last one had, with a plea that she
do what her father wanted.

“You were a widow, and people look at widows differently than maidals. Daad thinks
he knows best for me.”

“Your daad is a stubborn man,” Betty declared. “Believe me, I thought long and hard
about it before I agreed to marry him.” She shrugged. “You’re not going to find the
perfect man, any more than you can find the perfect house or the perfect buggy horse.
You just have to make the best decision you can.”

That was the most honesty Naomi had ever heard from Betty, and it took her aback.
“That’s probably true, but I’m not sure why you’re saying it to me.”

Betty eyed her shrewdly. “Because you and I are more alike than you realize, Naomi.
I will not go openly against your father’s wishes, but I will do what I can to soften
his heart toward you.”

“Denke, Betty.” She didn’t think they were alike at all, but she would take help where
she could get it.

Betty’s tight mouth softened in a slight smile. “It is for my sake as well. Your daad
is not comfortable to live with when he is in a rage.”

Naomi nodded. That she could understand. She picked up the lines, thinking the conversation
was at an end.

But Betty seemed to have one more thing to say, even as she stepped back from the
buggy. “Remember what I said,
Naomi. You’ll never find the perfect husband, but if the chance arises, make sure
you weigh the pros and cons before you answer.”

In other words, Betty was among those who thought Naomi’s job with Nathan could eventually
lead to marriage. And she was bluntly advising her to weigh the advantages carefully.

She nodded and clicked to the mare, one thing clear in her mind. She would not choose
as Betty had. She would not marry, even if the chance came, unless she could marry
for love.

Nathan
tucked the covers around Joshua, who had been unusually talkative at bedtime that
night. “Time to stop the chatter and get to sleep.”

He glanced at Sadie, who was most often the guilty party when it came to talking instead
of sleeping, but her eyes were already drooping.