Natasha's Awakening (52 page)

Natasha spent the next hour shopping. She found a baby shop and unable to resist, she walked inside. She ended up buying some really cute little booties and some all in one outfits. Since she didn’t know the sex of her babies, she bought them in yellow, white and green. She could have bought so much more, but the bigger items were something that she needed to discuss with Eric since she wasn’t sure where she’d be living by the time the babies were born. Her 18 week check up was rapidly approaching and that would be the first time she’d get to see her babies since she’d have an ultra sound then too. She was excited to see them but undecided as to whether to find out the sex of her twins. Still, if she found out what she was having then she’d be able to consider possible names for them.

After baby shopping Natasha bought herself some new jeans and a couple of sweaters and long sleeved blouses. Although she wasn’t showing that much yet, she was already aware that some of her clothes weren’t so comfortable to wear anymore. Her little bump was starting to get in the way and it was only going to get bigger. She knew she was going to end up huge and her concern was how Eric would treat her. She couldn’t get him to make love to her as she was now so she imagined she’d have no hope when her stomach was massive. Suddenly making herself depressed with her train of thought, she finished with her shopping and went back out to her car to begin the drive back to Eric’s home.

She’d just parked her car in the carport and climbed out when Eric turned up at her door. One look at his face and she knew she was in trouble. “What are you doing home?” She asked him and he snorted.

“I’m home because you not only went out without letting Alice know, you told me you were on your way home and then you didn’t turn up. I tried to ring you but you weren’t answering your phone and Alice was concerned enough to ring me to let me know you weren’t back. So that’s why I’m home. I had to leave the office for you Natasha and you’d better have a damned good excuse for causing me to have to walk out in the middle of a meeting.” Eric’s voice was soft and menacing and she looked at the anger burning in his blue eyes and gulped.

“I went shopping.” She said nervously. “See.” Natasha held up her bags. The vibrator was tucked in the bottom of her large handbag so Eric couldn’t see it. She didn’t want him to know about that purchase until she was ready for him to know.

“You went shopping.” Eric said, anger still evident in his gaze. “So why did you have to sneak off without telling Alice? She would have driven you anywhere you wanted to go or if you really have to shop alone, Henry would drive you.” Eric told her.

“Oh for crying out loud Eric, I don’t need Alice baby sitting me and I don’t need your limo driver either, I can drive myself. Let me enjoy that much at least before I end up too big to fit behind the damned steering wheel.” Natasha snapped.

She gathered up her bags and went to step past Eric’s imposing frame. “I’m not standing out here all day arguing with you. You can go back to work now.” She told him before brushing past him and heading for the front door. His hand closed around her arm, halting her progress and Natasha swung back to him ready to fight with him again, but he merely reached down and took the bags from her hands to carry them up to the house for her.

Once they got inside Alice came rushing out to greet them, relief on her face when she saw Natasha. “Oh thank God Natasha, you’re back.” She cried. “Why did you run off like that? I could have taken you out if you needed a change of scenery dear. There was no need for you to drive yourself.”

Natasha forced a smile to her lips. “I’m sorry Alice for worrying you and I hope I didn’t get you in trouble with Mr Grumpy here.” She pointed over at Eric, ignoring his harsh indrawn breath. Alice’s face was priceless. She looked shocked but then Natasha saw her desperate attempts to keep the smile that was threatening, off her face.

“It’s alright Alice at least Natasha is back now.” Eric reassured her. “Natasha, come with me.” He headed for the lift, still carrying Natasha’s bags and she looked at Alice, rolled her eyes which made Alice smile at her. Natasha realised she had someone on her side a bit at least and she followed Eric, wondering just how much trouble she was really in for defying him. He was silent in the short time it took for the lift to take them to the upper level and when he walked into their bedroom and closed the door, she braced herself for a lecture of some sort.

Eric dropped Natasha’s bags off on the bed and turned to face her. “I’m still waiting for an explanation Natasha as to why you couldn’t let someone know where you were going today.”

She looked at him and sighed. “Seriously Eric, if you think I’m going make excuses for what I did to you, you’re going to be waiting a long time. I’m not a child. I don’t need to get permission to go out and I don’t need to explain my actions to you or Alice.” She said.

“So what was so bloody important that you had to go out alone?” Eric asked.

“I just needed some time out on my own Eric. I wanted to see something besides the inside of this house. You’re at work a lot, we don’t go out anywhere anymore because you’re too focused on treating me like I’m going to break in half if I do the slightest thing and if you want to know what I did while I was out, look in the damned bags yourself.” And with her outburst complete, Natasha walked into the ensuite and closed the door.

She took her time brushing her hair, splashing some water on her face and when she figured she’d left him stewing long enough, she left the bathroom. She expected to see him fuming after keeping him waiting, but he wasn’t. He ended up surprising her by being naked when she rejoined him in the bedroom. She froze, her eyes drinking him in and she felt a rush of moisture pool between her legs as she watched Eric stepping into a pair of well worn jeans. Her gaze moved over the muscles flexing in his back as he dressed. Her mouth went dry watching him and Natasha realised she wasn’t going to be able to put up with Eric’s stubborn refusal to touch her much longer. A part of her wondered if he was seeing someone and that’s why he didn’t want her but she wasn’t sure how to go about asking him that plus she wasn’t sure she wanted him to answer that question. If he was seeing someone else, he’d break her heart for sure. She’d never recover from that kind of pain.

He turned and caught her watching him. When he saw the way her eyes were devouring him hungrily, he groaned and turned away, pulling on the t-shirt he’d left on the bed. Natasha ground her teeth in frustration. Obviously something about how she was feeling showed in her eyes and Eric had seen it, but again he ignored her and was going to deny her what she wanted. “Why aren’t you going back to work?” she asked him and he explained that he’d rescheduled the meeting for tomorrow.

“I’m still waiting to hear where you went today Natasha.” Eric said and Natasha struggled to control her rising frustration with him.

“I told you to look in the bags Eric if you want to know where I went.” Brushing past him she started emptying the contents of the bags out on the bed, watching as the baby clothes and her new clothes tumbled out. He came over and picked up some of the baby things.

“You went baby shopping?” He asked, staring at the tiny clothing. “I thought we could go soon, together and start shopping for what we need for the nursery.” He said.

“That’s the problem though, where is the nursery going to be? This is not my home Eric and once the babies are born, there will be no need for me to stay here anymore.”

Eric turned to her. “Aren’t you happy living here?” He asked.

“It’s not a question of whether I’m happy or not. I’m here because you and my Mother decided I would be better off here while I’m pregnant, but once the babies are born, there’s no reason why I can’t go home.” She pointed out.

Eric dropped the baby clothes back on the bed and began to pace up and down the room. “I don’t want you to leave here Natasha. I like having you in my home and if you and our babies are here, then I can help take care of you all. I can’t do that so easily if you go back to your place.”

Natasha watched him pace the room. “So what are you saying Eric? Are you asking me to move in with you?”

Eric stopped his pacing to look at her his expression tense. “I don’t expect an answer right away, but think about it at least. It’s the most sensible thing to do, for us to live together.”

Natasha couldn’t help the disappointment that hit her at his response. He was only talking about living together from a practical viewpoint. So much she wished he would say it was because he couldn’t live without her but it didn’t seem like that was going to happen anytime soon.

Eric walked over to her, grabbing her shoulders between his hands. “I mean it Natasha, think about what I’m saying.” He said and she reluctantly nodded.

“I don’t think you’re thinking this through properly Eric. What about if one of us gets tired of the living arrangements and wants to move on, start dating?” She asked and Eric’s fingers dug painfully into her shoulders.

“Dammit it Natasha, haven’t I already proved to you that I don’t want anyone else? I would do anything to protect you and our babies and yet you constantly question me? Maybe it’s you who doesn’t want me anymore?” He ground out.

Natasha snorted. “I’m not the problem Eric. You don’t want me. Maybe the sight of my baby bump puts you off, but you don’t want me sexually anymore. You aren’t attracted to me and dammit, I’m pregnant, not dead.” Suddenly her control snapped and she turned on him fury flashing in her eyes.” This pregnancy is making me fucking horny you stupid bastard and yet no matter what I try you won’t fucking well make love to me, so screw you. Either let me go home and you find someone else or I’m going to take care of the problem myself.” She snapped, all her pent up frustrations suddenly errupting, making her lash out at him. As soon as her tirade had ended, she immediately felt embarrassed and dark colour flooded her cheeks.

A tiny smile appeared on Eric’s lips and Natasha felt another wave of anger flow through her. “Are you laughing at me, well fuck you Eric.” She stormed over to the bed, reaching into her large handbag and pulled out the bag with the vibrator in it. “Since you don’t want me anymore. I’ve bought something that will.” She tossed the bag at him. He caught it easily and with one last look at her, he reached into the bag and pulled out the vibrator.

His eyes widened when he saw it and Natasha suddenly wondered what the hell she’d done throwing the thing at him. “It’s the Jack Rabbit.” She said. “Apparently once I have that, I’ll never want anything else, not even you.” Natasha couldn’t resist adding in her attempt to stir up some sort of reaction in him, dent his male ego, anything.

“Why would you feel you need to buy this?” He asked, still staring at the purple vibrator in his hand and she sighed.

Was nothing she was saying getting through to him? “Fuck it Eric, I just told you why. You obviously don’t want me anymore. We haven’t had sex in weeks. Either my growing stomach repulses you or you’ve got someone else.” She said, her voice cracking at the thought of him having another woman.

“Why would you think I have someone else Natasha?” He asked quietly. “When have I had time for anyone else? If I’m not here, I’m at the office.” He told her.

“That doesn’t mean much.” She said. “You told me you have an apartment close to your office. You could be meeting up with someone there.”

Eric sighed, tossing the vibrator on the bed with all the rest of her purchases. “Why can’t you get it through your head that I don’t want anyone else? You’re the only woman I want, the only woman I’m ever likely to want.”

“Well you have a funny way of showing it.” She snapped. “I’ve tried to get you to show some interest in me but nothing. I don’t understand. If you’re not making love to me, who are you making love to Eric? You have a high sex drive and we haven’t had sex since the morning after the seafood restaurant.” She pointed out.

Eric sighed, raking his hair back impatiently. “You’re the one who made it clear you weren’t going to sleep with me Natasha. That one time we made love and you got sick after it. Afterwards you again made it clear that I wasn’t to assume that we were going to resume the same level of sex we had in the hotel and then you got sick dammit. Remember? You scared the hell out of me. I’m not going to take advantage of you while you’re recovering from such severe morning sickness. It’s my fault you got sick in the first place. If you weren’t carrying my babies it would never have happened.”

Natasha groaned with frustration. “Dammit Eric, will you stop this crap? It’s not your fault that I got sick. I’m not the first woman to get morning sickness bad enough to put me in hospital and I sure as hell won’t be the last. It’s got nothing to do with the fact that I’m carrying your babies. It could have happened regardless of who the Father was.”

Eric’s face was still looking doubtful despite her assurances. “Oh for fuck sakes Eric. Stop twisting this around. You don’t want me, that’s obvious. I’ve tried to tease you into wanting me, but nothing. All you ever do is turn away or go and have a bloody shower.” Natasha said, frustration in her voice.

“For starters Natasha, you’re the one who made it perfectly clear you weren’t going to sleep with me. You wanted me to prove that I wanted you in my life, not just to have sex with you and have you ever wondered why the hell I have so many fucking showers?” He yelled. Before she could answer him, he closed the gap between them and held her face between his hands. “It’s because I get so tired of walking around with a permanent damned hard on and the only fucking relief I can get is to take care of it sometimes in the shower ok. I fucking well jack off in the shower.” He released her and walked across the room, agitation evident in every inch of his body. “So are you happy now? I want you alright. I want you so fucking much my body aches all damned day and night, but I’m trying to do as you requested and I don’t want to fucking hurt you ok? You got so sick, sick enough to end up in hospital. What sort of animal would I be if I tried to have sex with you after what you’ve been through? You’ve accused me of rape once already. I won’t put myself in that position again dammit.”