Nate (A Texas Jacks Novel) (39 page)

“I’m not throwing anything away. I can’t give myself to her one-hundred percent. I’m not even a whole man, I know. I’m not stupid, or blind at how I live my life. I know exactly what I’m doing. I just didn’t plan for Charlie. She was an unexpected distraction.”

“Really, Nathan!” she scolds me. “You’re not this type of man. I know you’re hurting and you’re upset. But I’m telling you right now, if you don’t make things right with Charlie soon, you’ll lose her for good.”

“Are you done trying to tell me how to run my life, and my relationship with my girl?”

“I don’t know, are you going to listen? And is she even still yours?” and with that she hangs up on me. I throw the phone at the couch then throw myself onto the couch, too. I have no idea why that just all happened the way it did. I know she’s right; I just don’t want to hear it from her.

“Well, that was something.” I open my eyes, to see Holt standing over me.

“Listening in on conversations now?”

“No. I can’t help over hearing anything in my own house when someone’s yelling.” He frowns. “What’s going on?”

“Just Carianna, giving her two cents about how to live my life and how to treat my girlfriend.”

“Sounds like she hit the right nerve.” He quirks his brow. “I didn’t realize you decided to call Charlie your girlfriend, now.”

I scowl at him. “I’m not in the mood for an inquisition.”

“Of course not,” he scoffs. “Good old Nate, using his famous ‘avoids’ tactic. Tell me, how’s that working out for you?”

“It’s not. Is that what you wanted to hear so you could gloat?”

“No, I just wanted to help my best friend out. Is that a crime? I don’t want to see a sweet innocent woman be hurt in the process, nor do I want to see my friend spiral out of control like he started to on the anniversary of his mother’s death.”

“Don’t bring my mom into this!” I yell, jumping off the couch.

“Whoa! What’s your problem, man?” Tucker rushes into the living room.

“Nothing. I’m just mad, and I can’t understand my own emotional state at the moment,” I feel myself deflate and flop back onto the couch. “Maybe Carianna was right. Maybe I’m finally going through the grieving process. I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. I thought I had a good balance for Charlie and me but then I go and screw up, and now we’re just a big jumbled mess to my own doing.” I scrub a hand down my face. “I’m sorry I yelled.” I give the guys an apologetic shrug of the shoulder. “I feel so screwed up. I can’t seem to do anything right. I’ve gotten so off course from which I usually am that I don’t know who this new angry person is.”

“You need to get your head on straight, brother. But first, you need to patch things up with Charlie. I’m not saying you need to jump in with both feet, but you need to make common ground with her, and figure out where you two stand. She’s going through a rough time herself.” Tucker gives it to me straight.

“I know. I’ve been a real jerk lately.” I sigh, looking down at the ground so they can’t read the humiliation that runs through the course of my body.

“We all know this isn’t like you. Just remember, you’ve never been in this situation with a woman before.” Holt reminds me. “When you and Heather were together, you were just teens with endless possibilities before you. You both had a lot of life to live before you settled down. I can’t say you didn’t love her, but I will say this—it’s nothing like what I’ve seen with you and Charlie.”

“I think the pressure of keeping to your rules, yet trying hard to not fall in love, got to you, and you
did
let yourself fall. It’s like, once you realized it, you messed up, and started spiraling after that. Holt and I didn’t want to step in, but now? We wouldn’t be good friends to you if we didn’t do something. It’s time to help you.” Tucker gives me a look of sympathy, but I know he’s right. I need them to be the support that holds me up.

“I suggest you cool your jets, and then go to Charlie in a couple of days.”

“I don’t know if she’ll take me back, or listen to me. She won’t even take my calls, let alone return a text. I even stopped by her place and she wasn’t there. I think she’s avoiding me.”

“Can you blame her? You’ve been stupid with her, then she saw Heather and she still is clueless as to who Heather is. We haven’t told the girls much either, but it wouldn’t matter. She’s not talking to anyone right now anyway. So, it’s not just you, though you deserve it more than the rest of us.” Holt mutters.

“I know. I’ll straighten it all out with her, eventually. Right now, I feel a headache coming on and I’m afraid we’ll start singing Kumbaya then you’ll ask me to share more of my feelings.”

Holt punches me in the arm. “No, we’ll just sit on the couch, play video games, get mad at each other for cheating, while kicking your butt since you seriously suck when it comes to playing any team related games.”

Tucker laughs, punching me in the other arm as he passes me by. “Now, if you’re done. I’m grabbing a pizza and I’ll be back in a bit. Be prepared to eat dirt!” he calls over his shoulder while he walks out of the living room.

“You couldn’t even survive a Zombie Apocalypse. All of that preparation in game play was for nothing.” I laugh, feeling a little bit better. I’m far from it, but these guys know how to handle me with their special brand of care. Thankfully I have them in my life to help me pull my head out of the sand.

My next big challenge will be to beg the woman who has my heart to hear me out.

I’ve been avoiding everyone for the last few days. It’s been nice, but now I’m lonelier than I ever was to begin with. Why did I ever decide to being a fuddy-duddy was lame? I would rather that then being yo-yoed with.

Halley texted me yet again, for the twentieth time, that they wanted to me to come hang out with them. Why does it have to be at the race track? I pray they’re not trying to set something up. I thought I was ready a few times to sit Nate down and have it out with him. Now, I’m not so sure. If he wanted to talk to me, and work it out, he would have called me already. Well, fine that’s not right. He has called, and texted, I just haven’t answered. If he really wanted to make this work, he would have shown up at my door instead of lame texts.

I feel stupid, and like this is now becoming a game. One I never intended. I just don’t know what to do. I want to fix this stupid issue, but I don’t want him to take me back and hold me at an arm’s distance anymore. I can’t take it. I thought I could live with it, but I know that’s a big horrid lie I keep telling myself I can live with. It’s not happening. I want all of Nate, or —no, I can’t even think about the other possibility. I wish I could call his sister, but I don’t know how to reach her. And with my brilliant plan, not really, I’ve been ignoring his friends, and mine.

Halley’s right, I need to get out and see everyone. So, here I am at the track, walking up to the bench. I don’t see Shelley hanging on Nate.
Thankfully.
Surprisingly, it looks like she’s found a new man to latch onto. Now, if only Lisa could get the hint. Poor Tucker and Naomi.

Stepping up to the bleachers, I see the girls hanging with the guys, but I don’t see Nate. Frowning up at them, I look around but I don’t see him elsewhere. But I do see someone else walking towards me. Oh boy, this isn’t good because I see Dave making a straight-line towards me, and he’s not slowing down.

“Hey, good looking!” he grins at me. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“That makes two of us,” I mutter more to myself. “What are you doing here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at the track before.”

“I’ve come out on occasion, but the pretty girl in town I kept hearing about wasn’t here.” He winks.

“Oh?” Please don’t be flirting with me. What if Nathan over hears him? I don’t even know what we are right now, but I do know Nathan will blow his lid.

“Charlie, come on now. You have to know by now that I really like you.” He slings an arm over my shoulder, causally resting it there. I try to slide out of his light hold, but he pulls me back in, but closer to his chest.

“I really didn’t have a clue. Sorry.” I’m embarrassed and feel like an idiot.

“Well, no matter. You know now. Anyway, I’m still your friend. I didn’t expect anything to happen, for the time being. I just felt like you could use a good friend to be around right now.”

“Thank you, Dave. I realized tonight that I really do need my friends. Hiding away wasn’t a great idea.”

“Anything for you, Charlie. Let’s go see what everyone else is up to.” He tugs me forward with him, leading to my friends. We make our way up to the top of the bleachers, to looks of anger and confused faces. I give them a small, timid smile and a weak wave of the hand. I don’t want to be in this position any more than they like seeing it. If they feel uncomfortable, it’s nothing like I feel.

“Charlie! It’s good you’re here.” Naomi is the first to recover, moving towards me to pull me into a hug. “We are so talking about this later.” She quietly whispers into my ear.

“I have no idea about this either,” I whisper back.

Halley leans over to hug me as well. “Nate is going to have a fit when he sees Dave with his arm or hands on you. Heck, just being here is going to cause issues.” She whispers.

“Not my choice. I thought you all invited him?” I quietly respond.

“Nope! I don’t even want to be here when he finds out.” She sits back down next to Holt, who automatically claims her hand.

“Charlie. Good to see you’re still alive and kicking.” Tucker kisses my cheek. “Nate misses you, you know. I get the impression he wants to talk to you. Are you sticking around later?” he quietly engages me in conversation so it’s not over heard by prying ears, and for my benefit since Dave is tagging along.

“I’m not sure this is the place to have this talk, Tucker. If he really wants to make it right, he knows where I live.”

“Wow. You have more spunk in you then I gave you credit for, short stack!” Holt, who overheard us, laughs. “Good to know.” He winks.

“Where is he, anyway?” I ask the group at large, turning my back to them to look once again for Nate. “I didn’t see him when I came out.”

“Oh, he’s here. I’m sure he’s already seen you, too.” Holt not reassuringly shares.

“Are we going to have a problem?” Dave asks.

“Only if you let it be one, or if you don’t keep your hands off his girlfriend.”

“Last time I checked, they weren’t labeling it, nor was he taking care of her properly.”

I place my hand on Dave’s arm. “That’s none of your business. Please, let’s not cause any trouble, okay? I’m out for the first time in a while with my friends, and I want to enjoy the evening.”

“Charlie, you made me a part of this when I saw you at
Texas Jacks
and we had our chat.”

“I didn’t mean to drag you into it. Please, drop it. Don’t stir the pot anymore than it has been.” I warn him, dropping my hand. “Now, move your fat bottoms over, I want to sit!” I kick Halley in the foot with my own, so she will move over. I really don’t want Dave here, or to sit by me, but I don’t get that wish. He squishes in next to me. Right now, I feel really irritated and I want to push him off the end of the row. When did he get so annoying?