Native Born (11 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Cassidy slipped into the hallway. Someone was already there. The light flicked on and Cassidy recognized Glendora, her expression startled as she took in the picture of Cassidy in the hallway gripping her pistol.

“What is that sound?” asked Cassidy. Then she realized that the shouts came from Clyne's room.

“He has nightmares ever since coming home,” said Glendora, motioning to Clyne's room.

Cassidy slid the safety back in place and lowered her weapon. Glendora shuffled past her and knocked on the door.

“Mama?”

Cassidy recognized her daughter's voice coming from her new room. She went to her daughter, finding her sitting up wide-eyed in bed. Buster was no longer on the floor, but sitting beside her daughter on the mattress as Amanda clung to his shaggy coat.

“It's all right, doodlebug. Your brother Clyne is having a nightmare.”

It was the first time she'd called him Amanda's brother and the realization brought her up short.

“He has nightmares, too?” Amanda's grip on Buster loosened.

Cassidy sat on the bed.

“Are they about breaking glass?” Amanda's therapist thought the breaking glass dream stemmed from some early childhood experience. Now Cassidy understood, it was the car crash. Amanda had been in the accident that had killed Tessa Cosen.

“I don't know. Maybe you can ask him tomorrow.”

The shouts stopped and the house went quiet. A few moments later she heard Clyne's door shut and Amanda's open.

“You two all right?” asked Glendora.

“We're fine, Gramma,” piped Amanda.

Glendora offered another good-night and left them.

Cassidy stretched out beside her daughter. “What do you think of them?” she asked Amanda.

“I love them,” she said instantly. They were quiet for a time and she thought Amanda had dozed off when she spoke again. “Mama?”

“Yes.”

“Would it... Could you... Will you call me Jovanna from now on?”

Cassidy felt the stabbing pain as some deep part of herself began screaming.

“Why do you want that, doodlebug?”

“Well. It's my name. The name my first mother gave me.”

“Oh, I see.” She held back the burning in her throat and thought her words sounded almost normal. “Well, I can try. But you might have to remind me sometimes.”

“Okay. Thank you, Mama.” Her arms came around Cassidy's neck.

Cassidy held her daughter, wishing that Amanda could have her brothers and her grandmother and still stay with her forever. She thought of Clyne and his insistence that he marry an Apache woman. Of Gerard promising to come home. Things didn't always go as you hoped. Amanda's arms slipped from her neck as her daughter cuddled in her bedding, settling for sleep.

Cassidy might be different from other women in his life and she understood some of the issues he faced as a vet. They might even share a physical connection that she knew was unique. But there was one thing they did not share—his heritage. And no matter what she did, there was just no way she could ever become Apache.

* * *

C
ASSIDY
WOKE
AND
checked her watch. It was a little past six. She eased from her daughter's bed and headed for the hallway, pausing only to retrieve her pistol from the bookshelf. Then she continued to the bathroom at the end of the hall. She opened the door and paused at the billowing steam and the scent of soap and shaving cream. Clyne stood naked before the bathroom mirror with a white towel slung over his neck and his bronze skin made even darker in contrast to the white shaving cream covering one side of his face. He held a razor in one hand and the other gripped the sink.

Cassidy squeezed the doorknob as her entire body leaped from drowsiness to tingling awareness. Clyne Cosen naked was a better stimulant than a double shot of espresso.

“I'm sorry,” she muttered.

Clyne startled and then whipped the towel off his shoulders and threw it around his hips.

“I didn't know. It wasn't locked.” She forced her gaze to his face.

He gripped the towel with one hand and pressed the other to his chest.

“Didn't hear you.” He blew out a breath. “Thought it was Jovanna for a minute.”

She tore her gaze away and looked at the door, seeing there was no latch.

“No lock?” she asked.

“Shut is occupied in this house. I'm sorry no one told you.” Cassidy retreated so fast she stumbled into the hall. Clyne tucked in the edge of the towel, fixing it in place. He was naked except for a narrow band of terry cloth. She thought he looked even more appealing with his muscular frame damp from the shower and his wet hair clinging to his wide shoulders. He showered with that small beaded leather pouch, she realized. She had seen the sodden leather nestled just below the hollow of his throat. Something else she didn't understand, she realized.

“Do you carry that thing everywhere?” he asked, pointing his razor at her pistol.

“Nearly.”

“I'll be out in a second.” He let his gaze sweep down her exposed legs and then returned his attention to her face. The look he gave her could have steamed the mirror.

“We're in trouble. Aren't we?” she asked.

Clyne didn't look at her. “Cassidy, am I the guy you want to introduce to your family?”

His tone was sarcastic. Her answer was not.

“I don't have any family except Amanda.”

When he looked at her again, the heat was gone, replaced by a look of pity.

“No one?” he asked.

She swallowed but the lump continued to rise in her throat, so she shook her head in answer. Then she closed the door, removing the sight of his jaw dropping open. Of course he couldn't imagine that, no clan or tribe or community. No huge loving family. No place that was home.

She didn't care. Home wasn't a place anyway.

Cassidy returned to her room and dressed, waiting until she heard Clyne leave the bathroom and the sound of his bedroom door clicking shut before she ventured out into the hall and into the bathroom.

It still smelled like soap and aftershave.

When she reached the kitchen a few minutes later it was to find Clyne dressed in polished, elaborately stitched cowboy boots, dark jeans and a deep blue button-up shirt cinched at the throat with a chunk of turquoise the size of a quail's egg. The long wet hair was now contained in a neat braid secured with a bit of red cloth. His gray blazer sat on the back of the chair.

He glanced up at her and motioned to the seat across from his. His presence so captivated her that she hardly noticed his grandmother, dressed in black knit pants, white blouse and pale blue cardigan sweater.

“How you like your coffee?” asked Glendora, sliding a mug before her.

“Black,” said Cassidy. “Thank you.”

Glendora nodded. “Same as Gabe and Kino. I think all police drink coffee black. No fuss. Right?” She motioned to her eldest grandson. “This one drinks it with milk. Lots of milk. Good thing I still have some cows!” She turned back to the stove. “I'm making potatoes, scrambled eggs and bacon. But then I remembered that Jovanna doesn't eat meat. So I don't know what to do. I never cooked for a vegetarian before. I generally use the bacon grease for the potatoes and eggs.”

Cassidy stood, tentatively approaching the stove. “I can make her breakfast. She likes fried eggs and toast.”

They spent a few minutes discussing her daughter's diet until Glendora felt more comfortable.

“Last night, she asked me to call her Jovanna,” Cassidy announced.

Clyne and Glendora stared.

Glendora clasped her hands together. “She did!”

“She said that was what her first mom named her.”

“First mom?” Clyne said, his brow lifting as he replaced his coffee to the table. “That's what she called her?”

Glendora bustled as she spoke. “The lady from Child Welfare will be here soon. She's taking Jovanna to school and she said she'd be back after school to check in, too.”

Buster appeared and stood by the back door. Clyne let him out by opening the door without moving from his place. A moment later Amanda emerged in the doorway.
Jovanna
, Cassidy corrected herself.

She had already dressed in the same clothing she wore yesterday. She accepted greetings from them all and sat between Clyne and Cassidy. Buster scratched at the door and spent breakfast eating the crusts of toast offered by Jovanna.

Her daughter munched her toast and sipped her milk. Then she eyed Clyne and said.

“Are your nightmares about breaking glass?”

Clyne choked on his coffee, narrowly missing spilling on his pristine shirt.

“Did I wake you?” he asked.

“Yes. I was scared, but Mommy came right in. I have them, too. I hear glass breaking and screaming and I wake up.”

Clyne looked to Glendora. Had they both correctly guessed at the root of this particular dream? Clyne turned his attention back to his sister.

“Mine are about the time I was a soldier.”

“My father was a soldier, too. He was killed in action by an IED. That's an...”

“Improvised explosive device,” said Clyne.

“That's right!” said Jovanna.

Clyne's complexion had taken on a green tinge. He knew IEDs. That much was certain. Had he seen one detonate or stopped someone who carried one?

“I wish he was still alive. You two could be friends.”

Clyne and Cassidy exchanged a look. It was doubtful that Amanda's father and Amanda's brother would have ever been friends.

“Right, Mama?”

“I think they have a lot in common.”

Amanda munched her toast, slipping another crust under the table, where it vanished. The sound of Buster chewing came an instant later.

Child Welfare arrived on time and Cassidy kissed her daughter goodbye. She called Diane to check in and asked her to overnight a box of clothing to Clyne's address and Diana said she had sent a box yesterday to her hotel address. They should arrive today. That was a relief because her daughter was not wearing the same thing to the reservation school tomorrow.

Buster scratched at the door, and Clyne let him out and then called to Glendora.

“I think Buster is following Jovanna to school.”

Cassidy looked out the back door and saw Buster tearing down the drive and out onto the road.

“I'll go after him,” he said and turned to Cassidy. “Want to see the school?”

She did. They left together in her car. On the way she asked if he would be willing to translate some of Manny Escalanti's phone conversations and he agreed. They finished the lot before reaching the school.

“What do you think?” she asked, regarding her careful notes.

“Well, the brown rabbit might be his way of speaking about Ronnie Hare. He said he'd gone for a run and that he was a bad swimmer.”

“Swimmer?”

“Might mean he's not willing to cross back over the Salt River to our reservation or that he's not willing to leave the reservation to go to Mexico.”

“He said his cousins are taking care of the rabbit,” said Cassidy. “Is that bringing him supplies or is that an order to kill him?”

Clyne gave her a long look. “I don't know. But if it were me, I'd want Ronnie Hare dead. He was the messenger between Escalanti and the Mexican drug lords.”

“Who is bringing messages now? I wonder.”

“Good question. Either way, you guys better bring him in quick.” Clyne pulled into the school lot. There sat Buster, before one of the string of windows on the side of the building. “There he is.”

“Is that her classroom?”

“If Buster says so. That dog lost her once. He's not letting her go a second time.”

Cassidy thought that Clyne and Buster had a lot in common.

Clyne called Buster but he had to carry the dog to the car.

Cassidy stood beside her vehicle staring at the window Buster had chosen. How many times had Amanda had to begin again? Be the new kid who started months after everyone else with a new teacher and a new set of requirements? Six? Seven? How many more times was she going to pick up her daughter and move her like, what had Clyne said, as if she was a canary?

Six months. It wouldn't be enough to set down roots. Not the kind that sank deep, those that took a lifetime to grow. And her daughter had only—

“Six months,” she whispered.

Clyne stood beside her, holding the giant dog as if he were a puppy instead of a senior citizen with a white muzzle.

“Cassidy, it's fair. Six months with us after nine years with you. Give your daughter a chance to know us.”

“It's too much. A child shouldn't have to choose between two families.” She should never have to choose. She should be able to have her mother and her family. But how?

“The courts make them do it every day. You know it. I know it.”

Cassidy looked at him with big blue eyes, brimming with tears. It hurt to look at her, but he couldn't look away. Clyne knew the face of grief, intimately.

“What if she chooses you?” she whispered.

And there it was, the reason she had fought so hard to keep her child.

“She's all I have, Clyne. You have brothers, their wives, your grandmother. Your whole tribe.” She looked away. “She's all I have in the world.”

“Gabe says you are a part of Jovanna, because you raised her. That's why he wanted you here.”

“And maybe for me to see the family I am keeping her from,” said Cassidy.

Clyne gave her a lot of credit for admitting that.

He opened the door and let Buster into the backseat. Then he opened her door and waited for her to take her seat. She handed over the keys.

She didn't recall him starting the sedan, but the speed bump leaving the school grounds snapped her back to the present. She looked at him and he glanced to her and back to the road. Behind them Buster panted and paced across the backseat.