Natural Attraction (37 page)

“Ash, I need to talk about us.”

“I couldn’t agree more!” I chirp, tipsy and bold now that we are finally getting to the topic I’ve been skirting for days.

He smiles and narrows his eyes at me, “How drunk are you?”

“Why?” I ask innocently thinking about leaning back over and grabbing the drink he poured for me earlier, this conversation could be
interesting.

“’Cause I need you take me seriously right now and I want to make sure that you understand what I am say
ing.” He says this looking deep into my eyes, searching for evidence that I can understand what he is saying.

“I’m good.” I mutter, “Tipsy, but not legless. 
Yet.” I add quickly thinking I should take his last night on the river statement a little more seriously and get drinking.

“Good, hold off on the drink
ing for just a few minutes please.”

He smiles and leans into gently press his lips against mine.  A soft, warm, sensual kiss that feels so gentle the stupid word
love
sneaks into my mind.

Banishing the thought, I pull away gently from his lips and with the most serious, attentive face I can muster in my current state, I announce, “Okay, I am listening, carefully and ready to take you
seriously.”

“Good, ‘
cause I need you to just let me get this out and then you can say your bit okay?”

“Gotcha!”
I chirp, swaying backwards just a little bit on his lap. 

My sway is obviously enough for him to notice so he wraps an arm protectively around my waist.  He then pulls me forward to lean sideways into his chest.  With my head resting on his shoulder he starts to talk against the top of my head as we both stare at the river.  I feel comfortable and I feel
nice.

“Ash, these past couple of weeks have been amaz
ing.  For the past three years I have been struggling hard to be passionate about anything but horses and learning more about horsemanship.   After Jess died, not only did it rip my soul out, but it ended up meaning that I could only focus one thing, learning to ensure the horses that my family rode were the safest I could make them.  I did not want to lose another family member to a horse accident,
ever
again. 

I’ve learnt so much about horses in the last three years I can at least say that Jess did not die for noth
ing.  Her death bought me closer to horses and gave me the focus I needed to develop the training tools that I can now use to help my family and a few select others with horses.”

“Lucky for me, I’m one of those select
others,
” I mumble keeping my eyes on the water.

“You’re more than an ‘
other’,
Ash.  From the moment I saw you sitting in the front of your car, your green eyes sparkling at me, I knew you were not an ‘other’.  I also knew that I needed to get you to see me as more than an ‘
other’
and I’ve been working my ass off to achieve just that.”

I start to wonder where he is going with this conversation.

“That you have.  And I’m glad I’m not an ‘other’.  I don’t want to be an ‘other’ any more.”

I feel Jax jerk and he pushes me backwards, turning my face to his again.

“What was that?” He asks, eyebrows drawn together, his eyes focusing and drilling into mine again.

“Fuck.  Did I say that out loud?” I ask as I bite down on my lip and drag my eyes to the left so he can’t see my embarrassment.

“You sure did and those words mean more to me than I can say.  In fact, they mean exactly what I
am
trying to say to
you
.  I don’t want you to be an
‘other’
, ever.  I want you to be a part of my family.  I want you to stay.  I don’t want you to go home.  I can’t stand the thought of you going home because I want you in my life, I want you in my bed every night and… I
love
you.”

I feel myself jerk instantly sober. 

Did he just say he loves me?

Dumbfounded, I swing my eyes back to his and stare, unable to speak as my mind rolls over the words he just said.  I start trying to work out whether I have dreamed them or whether I just wished them.

Watching me silently for a minute, I see a vague expression of concern descend on his eyes.   Knitting his eyebrows together he asks, “Ash did you hear me say I love you?”

“Yes I did,” I whisper.  Not wanting to break the spell that I am stuck in.

“And?” He urges, “What do you think about that?”

“I think,” I pause to consider my next words but find myself chickening out of the conversation, “I need another drink.”

“Why?” He asks, seriously.  I feel his body starting to tense beneath me as he searches my face for answers.

“Because I feel the same way too and it can’t be normal to feel this way after less than two weeks.  I also think that I should have another drink because, clearly, you are a
much
better communicator than me because I have wanted to tell you something similar all week but didn’t have the guts to.  I’d like to tell you heaps more but I don’t think I’ll be able to do it without another drink.”

“No need to drink, I hear you babe and it’s all good.  That’s all I needed to hear.”

“I don’t want to go home,” I blurt.  “I want to stay with you too.  But I can’t.  I have a life to continue, I have a job to do and a mortgage to pay.”

I decide to not worry about the friend’s part because I am sure that part of my concern can be solved by weekend barbeques and girls’ nights at the pub halfway between our houses.

“That’s what I rang dad about.  I had a feeling you’d worry about your job and having to travel back and forth for us to see each other. So, here’s the thing.   If you want to, you could rent your place out and live with me at the farm.  That way, the rent will cover your mortgage and you will always have your own place if for some reason we don’t work out.  Which I
doubt.
  I’ve got several investment properties, I can refer you to my property manager and he’ll take care of the whole thing.”

I roll what he is saying through my head and realize instantly that renting could be a good alternative.  It would probably even give me a small income.  It still doesn’t solve my commute to work however.

“But my job….” I stutter.

“Well….” He takes a breath before continuing, “There’s a couple of ways we could deal with that.  The first, you just quit.  You don’t need to work if you are with me, I told you, I have money covered.”
“
No way!”
I jolt upright and give him a look of total dismay.  “I am
not
giving up work at my age and living off someone else.  Not even
you.”

“I thought you might say that so I have another option.  Quit your job and start working for Walker Civil.  We have plenty of work for another finance officer on our team and dad and I are both happy for you to work whatever hours you want.  You could be full-time, part-time, work from home, work only on weekends, we
don’t care. 
Whatever will make you happy and keep you where I need you.  With
me.”

Wow.

I find myself staring into his gorgeous blue eyes.  My eyelids are blinking too fast and my jaw is slack, my mouth is hanging open.

What an offer.

A dream job and a dream life, with a dream man.

Smiling softly, a look of concern in his eyes I realize he is waiting for me to speak.

“Um…  That’s a
big
offer,” I mumble, casting my eyes downwards as I roll it all through my head.

“Does it sound like an alternative though?” He presses me gently to think about it.

“It does.”  I say slowly as I consider the next part of what I am about to say. “But….”

“But what?”
He asks.

“But what happens if we don’t work out?” I roll the words across my tongue, trying to be objective about the whole crazy situation.

“Then you continue to work for Walker Civil, a place I rarely visit anyway, until you find employment elsewhere.  You could even stay on if you felt that way inclined, it would be up to you.”

An excellent answer.

“Yes.” I whisper as I look into his eyes.

“Yes, what?”
He asks, his body relaxing beneath mine as he realizes that I am considering his offer seriously.

“Yes, I’d love to stay and yes I’d like to work for Walker Civil.  I need to think a bit more seriously about the hours yet, but it’s a yes.”

I watch Jax’s face as he lets out a huge breath.  I had not even realized he was holding his breath in I was so wrapped up in our conversation.

“
Thank you
Ash!  You have no idea what this means to me.  I’ve been tearing myself apart trying to come up with a plan to make you stay.  You may not have noticed, but so has my family, therefore all the extra visits.  We’ve played several scenarios from my first plan to just handcuff you to my bed up to this slightly more feasible option.  Luke was the one who came up with the Walker Civil job offer plan because he understands what it’s like for a woman to want to have her own wage.  Teagan doesn’t need to work either but she chooses to.  It gives her some independence and a life outside of the Walker clan.”

Leaning in, he slams his mouth hard up against mine and almost blinds me with a soul wrenching kiss. 

“Ring your boss tomorrow, tell her you’re quitting.  Tell her you’ll take your notice out of your holidays owed so they shouldn’t expect to see you again.  Then, you can take at least another month off before you start work for Walker Civil so we can get to know each other… 
Better.
” He grins as he pushes to his feet, lifting me easily into his arms and heads towards the gooseneck. 

“Okay.”  I reply.  There is nothing else to say, he’s got it all sorted and I agree with his plan. 

Qualified

“Only one
rub mark just below the knee on my right leg this time.” I announce cheerfully as I step off the bottom step of the gooseneck.  “Time to celebrate!”

I watch Jax slip the locking pin into the gate panel on Troubles mobile yard as he turns towards me smiling. 

His eyes are shining a bright electric blue color as they reflect the sapphire blue coloring of his Walker Endurance t-shirt.  His jodhpurs fit tightly to every muscle and contour of his legs and butt.  His hair is plastered flat to his head with sweat and his clothes are filthy.  His t-shirt and jodhpurs are covered in horse sweat, dirt, horse slobber and clay poultice.

In other words, he looks gorgeous.

I look down at his clay covered hands and back to his face to see his dimples pop.  He starts holding his hands out towards me wiggling his fingers to show me they are thickly coated in the sticky clay that we use on our horses legs after a long ride.

“Come here little girl,” he says in a deep sinister voice as he lunges forward.

A loud, “Eek,” escapes my lips as I lean forward, bending my knees slightly ready to dart away from him.  I figure he’s got to take about ten strides to reach me so I have a fair chance of escape if I play my movements well.

I narrow my eyes as I see him quicken his pace, his teeth flashing as he smiles broadly and
starts to laugh.

“You know you’re too slow,” he calls playfully as I note he
’s already halved the gap between us and I still haven’t made my move.

“Shit,” I mumble as I decide to dart to my right.  There is an outdoor setting surrounded by half a dozen chairs to my left that will only hamper my movements if I try to go that way.

Launching into action I make it two full steps before I feel a wall of chest slam against my side at the same time as an arm clamps around my waist.  His second hand then slaps open palmed against my forehead as he slowly slides it upwards, smearing clay as he goes.  Reaching my hair, he scrunches his fingers to dig his nails deeply into my hair, making sure to rub as much clay as he can through my hair.

“Bastard!”
I snap as I try to wrench my body out of his viselike grip.

“I love you to you,” he chuckles as he quickly swaps his now reasonably clean hand for his other dirty one and starts rubbing it on my shirt.

“Next time I’m doing the clay,” I advise as he finishes using me as his personal hand towel.  He then leans in to drown me with one of his deep kisses.

I of course can’t resist enjoying yet another of his kisses, and I respond like a woman kissing a man who is heading off to war.

“Jesus Christ, can’t you two keep your hands off each other for more than five minutes.”

We both shake our heads mid-kiss as I open my eyes a crack to see Chris walking past with his tall chestnut gelding named Ditch.  Ditch is still sporting a few wet patches on his sides.  This is from his recent wash down before presenting to the vets for his final ride check.