Natural Born Liar: The Misadventures of Mink LaRue (15 page)
BOOK: Natural Born Liar: The Misadventures of Mink LaRue
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CHAPTER 25
W
e rolled up outta the hospital in our four fly limos and went to meet Selah’s brother Digger at a steak house that one of Viceroy’s friends owned. Selah seemed to be in a good mood after seeing her husband, but Barron had a case of the ass and his grill was on ice the whole way there.
e rolled up outta the hospital in our four fly limos and went to meet Selah’s brother Digger at a steak house that one of Viceroy’s friends owned. Selah seemed to be in a good mood after seeing her husband, but Barron had a case of the ass and his grill was on ice the whole way there.
Uncle Digger was standing at the door talking to Pilar’s man Ray when we walked up. Ray looked even shorter and rounder today, and even though he had a cute baby face, he had one of those jacked-up hairlines with bald spots on both sides. Pilar was walking up ahead of me, and I cracked up as she barely slowed down long enough for her man to kiss her on the cheek, then kept it moving right on past him.
The manager had closed off the entire back half of the restaurant just for us. There was a huge round table for the grown folks, and the kids were sitting at a smaller table right next to us. I sat down next to Barron’s squeeze Carla, and I was real surprised when a few minutes later Uncle Suge showed up too.
“Hey son.” He picked a little boy up outta the chair right beside me. “Uncle Suge got some grown folks’ business to take care of. Go sit at the kids table, you hear?”
My stomach was still tossed up from all the beer I had drank at the barbeque the night before, and since I didn’t want none of that Texas critter-shit Bunni and them was ordering off the menu, I just got me some fries and a glass of sweet tea.
Our food came out about fifteen minutes later. “I’m a meat man,” Suge told me as he cut into a huge piece of steak. He sat with his legs open and his massive thigh was pressed all up against mine. He nodded toward the naked, shriveled up chicken breast on Barron’s plate. “Not every man can handle a big piece of meat, you know. You gotta have some nuts if you’re gonna break off in a solid hunk of beef like this.”
I busted the look on Barron’s face and giggled my ass off! I had already picked up on how he was busy scoping on me and ignoring his damn fiancée, who was sitting right next to me. Shit, he wasn’t tryna hide the fact that he didn’t like me and he thought I was fake, but he couldn’t keep his damn eyes off me neither!
Fallon had on a pair of headphones and was holding her iPhone in her hand, while Bunni had a little battle going on between Dane and Ray. She was sitting in between them and her head swung back and forth as both of them tried to talk her to death.
I ate my fries and tried to get into the white chick, Carla. She had a country accent but she seemed real cool.
“So how long you and Barron been kickin’ it?” I probed her.
“Oh, ever since college.” She grinned. “He was the star of the football team and I was a cheerleader. He used to stare at me so hard he would almost fumble the ball!”
I almost bust out laughing. She mighta wanted to jump up and do a couple of cartwheels and splits ’cause that nigga sure wasn’t lookin’ at her ass no
more
!
more
!
The restaurant was cool like a mug, and after I picked over my food I crossed my arms and shivered as I broke out in chill bumps.
“You cold?” Suge asked. He leaned over and rubbed his big, rough hands up and down both my arms and sent shivers tingling through my whole body. “Hold up. You got a tag sticking outta ya shirt,” he said, and the next thing I knew I felt him fumbling at the back of my dress. He tucked my tag in, but then his hand slid down my back and rubbed against my bare skin. His big fingers swept my back from left to right, then back to the left again, rubbing lower and lower on each pass.
“Suge!” Selah busted him. She shook her head like,
Get ya damn hands off her
, then she smiled and tried to play it off. “It’s good to see that everyone is enjoying Sab—I mean Mink’s visit. She fits right in with us as a family, and I’m so proud of y’all for accepting her with so much love after missing her for all these years.”
Get ya damn hands off her
, then she smiled and tried to play it off. “It’s good to see that everyone is enjoying Sab—I mean Mink’s visit. She fits right in with us as a family, and I’m so proud of y’all for accepting her with so much love after missing her for all these years.”
Yeah
, I thought as Uncle Suge scooted back in his chair. He stretched his long legs out and let his eyes roam over me. There was
some
acceptance in the Dominion family. I glanced over at Barron and his fuck-cousin Pilar. The look on both of their faces made it real damn clear that not everybody was feeling me, because neither one of those two schemers believed a word I said.
, I thought as Uncle Suge scooted back in his chair. He stretched his long legs out and let his eyes roam over me. There was
some
acceptance in the Dominion family. I glanced over at Barron and his fuck-cousin Pilar. The look on both of their faces made it real damn clear that not everybody was feeling me, because neither one of those two schemers believed a word I said.
When it came time for us to leave Uncle Digger made a real big show about picking up the tab. There were a lot of us sitting at the table, and the kids had played around in their food and wasted most of it. He whipped out his platinum card and flirted with the waitress a little bit, and then lit a cigar and sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his jiggly belly. I was shocked when the waitress came back a few minutes later and handed him back his card and whispered something to him.
Everybody else was still talking and chillin’, but my nosy New York eyeballs were halfway down his throat. He sat up straight for a second, then laughed and went back in his wallet. He took out another credit card and gave it to her, then shrugged and put the first one back in his wallet.
That shit went down twice.
Digger got his wallet out again, and I busted the look of shame in his eyes even though he tried to play it off with a grin. I also busted the look his daughter Pilar shot him. Not only was she embarrassed as hell, that chick was pissed off too.
The next person who came over to the table musta been the manager. By this time Barron had peeped game too, so he was ready for her. Before Digger could pull out another one of his maxed-out credit cards, Barron stood up and said something to the manager that I couldn’t hear. She nodded and walked off, and a few minutes later the waitress was back looking shaky in the face.
Uncle Digger and Barron took her off to the side, and her manager just stood there while they had some icy words with her. That chick held her head down like she was about to cry, and then she started untying her apron as she walked toward the kitchen doors.
I didn’t say a word as I peeped all the drama going down, but Uncle Suge leaned over and whispered, “That nigga’s broke,” in my ear, and confirmed exactly what I had been thinking.
Uncle Digger was all smiles as he came back to the table.
“That little lady ran my card up all wrong. They gave her the rest of the day off, and I guarantee you she’ll be looking for a new job tomorrow.”
Suddenly all the cards fell in place and I knew exactly why Pilar was so desperate to hook a paid nigga like Barron, even if he was her damn cousin. Her daddy’s shit was slidin’, and she saw her little rich-girl lifestyle going down the drain.
Hmph. I crossed my legs and gave Uncle Suge a big uh-huh look. Carla better watch her damn man, and Ray was gonna need to find himself some brand-new trim. Because if it went down the way Pilar planned for it to go, the only chick who was gonna walk down a damn aisle with Barron was
her
.
her
.
CHAPTER 26
D
ane wanted to take me and Bunni to a nightclub when we got back to Dallas. I was all the way cool with that. My nerves were shot-out after just two days of being around Barron’s tight ass, and besides, it was “Operation Hook ’Em” time, and since we were scheming to get as many family members in our corner as possible, this would be a real good opportunity for me to try and get closer to Dane.
ane wanted to take me and Bunni to a nightclub when we got back to Dallas. I was all the way cool with that. My nerves were shot-out after just two days of being around Barron’s tight ass, and besides, it was “Operation Hook ’Em” time, and since we were scheming to get as many family members in our corner as possible, this would be a real good opportunity for me to try and get closer to Dane.
I couldn’t wait to get my mood lifted. Dane said the place we were going to was one of the hottest and hardest nightclubs in the city, and hard and hot was just what I needed.
The club was on a busy city street, and sweet whips and rugged SUVs were parked along every inch of the curb. They had one of those red velvet ropes to control the lines, but Dane had mad pull and high-level VIP access. We walked up in there like we were ballin’ baby, ballin’. All eyes were on us and I loved drawing that kinda spotlight attention. I actually roasted under that kinda shine, and cutting in front of all the waiting nobodies got me to missing my thug nigga Gutta because he commanded that kinda respect too.
Dane was on his Danger grind tonight. He had left his little college boy act back at the house, and all the groupies and sucka nigs greeted him with love.
“These cats are gonna adore y’all asses up in here,” Dane said and grabbed my hand as he led me through the swarm. I nudged Bunni and we pranced through the crowd setting fire to some eyeballs as we followed Dane toward the VIP lounge.
These Texas niggas had never seen nothing quite like me before. I was Mink Minajin’ them from head to toe. My bright-red wig was a perfect set-off for my tight cherry-red freak ’em dress that glittered with silvery sequins. My big legs looked delicious in my bright-red fishnet stockings, and I moved like a hot demon in my six-inch red booties. We had smoked some chronic on the way over that had me feeling Nicki-ish all down in my bones. Not only was I looking like her, I had her confidence, her idiotic way of taking shit to the visual extreme, and most of all I had her sexy swagger and fuck-me strut.
I gave them niggas exactly what they was lookin’ for as me and Bunni swung our hips and did the fresh pussy stroll. We were deep in the heart of Texas, but I noticed something for sure. A sucka nigga in the South wasn’t no different than a sucka nigga up north. There was envy and haterade in a whole lotta lame boyz’ eyes as Dane walked past with me and Bunni on his heels.
We hit the VIP lounge like we had paid the rent on it. There were ballas out the ass chillin’ in a restricted-access area, and they were glossed out in platinum, diamonds, and other kinds of shine.
I glanced around real quick to check out the competition. Honeys of all different sizes and shapes had their goodies on display. They stood around poppin’ gum, flossing weave, and gyrating booty out the ass. I gave up a few props where they were due. A couple of chicks had some decent game going, but most of them were amateurs who needed to get their weight up.
Dane led us over to the biggest booth in the house. Three high-rollers were chillin’ with mad magnums of Krug and puffin’ on expensive cigars. The one in the middle was fine as hell, and I could tell he was large in the game. He had a cute-ass chick sitting beside him, and she was dripping so much ice there shoulda been platinum puddles all around her feet.
“Wus good!” The big dude stood up when he saw Dane coming and dapped him out. He was tall and thick. He put me in the mind of Rick Ross, but everything about him was solid and well put together.
My eyes was wide open. I had a thang for big, powerful niggas. I dug the hell outta them ax-swinging, lumber-jack-lookin’ gigantic dudes like Gutta, and this balla here was definitely all that.
“Yo, whattup, Siddiq. I got a couple of new honeys with me tonight so shit is all good.”
Dane turned to me. “Mink, Bunni, this my manz, Siddiq. He’s a business owner here in the city and he’s official, nah’mean?”
Siddiq reached for my hand, and when I gave it to him he kissed it. I caught a whiff of his breath. It smelled just like he’d been hittin’ that nasty purple drank.
“New York? That’s word?”
I smiled and nodded.
“Yo, I’m ya man Siddiq from Brooklyn, baby! The Ville. Never ran, never will! What y’all know about that there type a’ shit?”
I glanced sideways at Bunni and we tried not to crack the fuck up! Brooklyn was a big, bad-ass borough and we had pulled a hustle on damn-near every corner of its streets. Downtown Brooklyn was ripe for our particular grind, in fact, we had gotten so good with our light-finger dip game that the police started spotting us before we could spot them, and we had given up our lucrative Fulton Street hustle and relocated to places like Flatbush Avenue or even Pitkin, which was dead smack in Siddiq’s hood.
“Oh, we know a little bit about Brooklyn,” I said, grinning mysteriously. “It’s one of our favorite towns.”
“Yo, word?” He elbowed his little cutie and nudged her outta the way. “Get up Stanka and let my homegirl sit down. Yo—what’s your name again, luv? Binky?”
“Mink,” I stated. “And this is my friend Bunni. She’s from New York too.”
“Okay, Mink and Bunni! Y’all bring ya fine asses over here! You come over here, Bunni.” His eyes shifted toward the dude on his left and that nigga jumped up like somebody had pressed an eject button under his seat. “And Mink, you sit over here where Stanka was just at.”
His head swiveled around on his big-ass neck. “Yo, Stanka,” he said to his icy chick who was standing there lookin’ sho nuff stank. “Go chill over there with Bean and nem ’til I holla at you, dig?” He pointed toward a nearby table where a couple of dun duns sat waiting at his beck and call. Stanka shot me some hate, then ran off like a well-trained little monkey.
Siddiq looked toward the bar and a big-titty waitress appeared outta nowhere. She was wearing booty shorts and a low-cut bra, and I wondered how the hell she was walking around in them ten-inch heels and carrying all them drinks at the same time.
“Glasses for the ladies,” Siddiq told her. “And another magnum too.”
He tossed the liquid in his glass down his throat and turned back to me. “Ain’t no party like a New York party, so what brings you two dolls down to Texas?” he said, grilling me with those sexy eyes and giving me and Bunni his full attention.
“A wedding,” I lied real quick. “Bunni’s friend is getting married down here so we came to show her some love. What about you?” I turned the convo around real slick-like. “You got that mad Brooklyn swagger all over you, pa. What you got going on in the Triple D?”
“Business,” he said and puffed his blunt. “I’m a record producer, ya dig?”
I smirked and killed my champagne. Ol’ boy looked certified, but I’d heard that record producer shit too many times to be impressed. Besides, I knew a slanga when I saw one. With all that shine and adornment his ass had to be real deep in the drug game.
“Yeah, I produce for Black Dungeon.” Siddiq kept talking as he passed me the blunt. The sweet smell of cush felt good sliding up my nose. “And I handle Two-Play and Earth Life in my stable. Rap is fadin’, man. There’s a lotta biters out there and everybody’s shit is starting to sound the same. I came down here last year to find me some fresh new talent to shake up the game. That’s how I got hooked up with ya boy, Danger. I caught him spittin’ one night and his flow game was nice and original like that.”
We sat in the booth getting toasted up. This kinda shit was right up my alley. Low-level nigs kept coming over to pay Dane and Siddiq their respect, and me and Bunni racked up so many hater looks that I stopped counting.
All this attention made me miss those days when I used to reign on Gutta’s arm as the queen of the club set. My boo had carried so much weight that dudes envied him and chickens went to bed every night praying they would wake up hatched as me.
I was vibing live, but something wasn’t smooth across the room. My street intuition was always on point, and I peeped the temperature as soon as it changed. There were some rival camps posted up in the VIP lounge, and some unspoken shit was going down. Every posse that entered the joint either turned right and came over to show love to Siddiq, or they headed left and swung over to a booth where a real buff, light-skinned dude sat chillin’ in a money-green shirt and a matching team fitted.
After hanging in cutthroat New York City clubs night after night with Gutta, I could spot a turf clash going on even from a distance, and there was definitely no love lost between the two sets up in here tonight.
The music was crashing and Bunni had been steady dancing in her seat.
“What’s up with these niggas?” she yelled. “What? Niggas don’t dance down here in Syrup City?”
I got embarrassed. “That’s Houston! We’re back in
Dallas
, Bunni!”
Dallas
, Bunni!”
“I don’t give a damn where we at!” she said and got up outta her seat. “Ain’t none of this shit
New York
!”
New York
!”
“Yo, Bunni—” Dane tried to call her back, but she had already slid outta the booth and started snapping her fingers and popping her ass. She pranced toward the dance floor like she was about to get loose, but then she turned left until she was standing right in front of the rival camp.
The dude in all the green was eyeing her, and Bunni did like any natural-born slicksta would do. She zeroed in on his ass like a bullet on a target. She got in a wide-legged stance that made her hips and ass look crucial, and even though I couldn’t see her from the front, I knew that deep split in her na-na was driving niggas wild.
Dude in the green came up outta his booth and got up in Bunni’s face. He cupped her left ass-cheek in one big hand and threw his rap down in her ear. Bunni tossed her head back and I could tell she liked that shit. My girl was the type who needed it rough and raw, and she would test a dude’s heart in a minute. If a playa didn’t push up on her with more swagger than she was bringing, then Bunni didn’t want shit to do with him. Even from where I was sitting I could tell that this dude had approached her exactly the way she wanted him to, and she was loving his game.
“Yo, Danger,” Siddiq growled real low as he grilled the click Bunni was busy entertaining. “Tell that bitch to get back over here. She fuckin’ around on the wrong side of the street.”
I didn’t say a word as Dane got up and went to get Bunni, but I damn sure wasn’t surprised at what happened next. Static jumped off. You know, the kind you expect when dangerous nigs found a reason to go at each other’s throats. All it took was for Dane to put his hand on Bunni’s shoulder. That green T-shirt nigga straight bit my play-brother. He bounced Dane in the chest and then his entire set swarmed.
“Oh, shit!” I hollered as Dane went down under a hail of killer blows.
I got outta that booth way before Big-Man Siddiq did, and I was praying no shots popped off before I could pull Bunni’s ass out from the bottom of the pile.
But Siddiq was traveling real deep. A football team full of niggas came from every corner of the room and converged on green T-shirt’s crew. Niggas was cracking champagne bottles over heads and going in hard.
“Bunni!” I screamed like she was gonna hear me over a room full of wildin’ beasts. “Bunni!”
I wanted to dive into the middle of the mob to search for her, but I knew them fools would crush me too. My cute little red dress wouldn’t be nothing but a greasy doo-rag by the time they got finished with me. Besides, we had been around more club fights than a little bit, and Bunni knew the drill. When niggas got to fighting, whether they were swinging, slashing, or shooting, the rule was always the same.
Stop, drop, and roll.
Damn right. If you were in range of the whoop-ass, then you stopped whatever it was you were doing, you dropped down to the floor where most dudes weren’t tryna be, and then you rolled your ass away from the fight and outta the kill zone.
I was jumping up and down on the edge of the crowd and looking for her when I got snatched from behind.
“Girl, bring ya ass on!” It was Bunni. I whirled around and thanked God my girl was okay.
“I thought you was caught up in the middle of all that shit!” I hollered as we held on to each other and dipped for the door.
“
Sheeeiittt
,” Bunni said. More niggas was rushing into the VIP lounge and blocking our exit. “Bitch I know how to stop, drop, and roll!”
Sheeeiittt
,” Bunni said. More niggas was rushing into the VIP lounge and blocking our exit. “Bitch I know how to stop, drop, and roll!”
Since so many dudes was running toward the door on the right, me and Bunni skirted around a long table and tried to get to the exit door from the left side. We were almost there when Stanka and a few of her friends called themselves stepping to us.
She wilded out on Bunni first. “Look what the fuck you did, stupid-ass! You shouldn’ta took your ass over there in the first place! If you don’t know the rules then stay in ya fuckin’ lane!”
“Kiss my ass!” Bunni yelled. “You need to check ya self!”
“Nah.” Stank One pointed toward Bunni’s crotch. “What you need to do is fix that nasty-lookin’ pussy you got! Look like you got a lil dick-swanging going on! Go get you a mini-pad and hide that camel toe,
okay
?”
okay
?”
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