Need You Now (34 page)

But even as he tried to listen to the show, his mind kept drifting. He wanted to be a better man, and all this worry was just causing him to act like a jerk. Plus, he'd never kept a secret from Darlene the way he was now. Guilt filled his days, and it definitely carried over into his interactions with his family.

All he wanted to do was to take his wife in his arms and love her the way she deserved to be loved, but he doubted she even wanted to be around him after the way he'd been behaving. He repositioned himself and tuned back in to the show. The narrator was discussing a new black hole found in a far-off galaxy. That's how he felt. Like he was in a black hole in a far-off galaxy, and there was no light, no escape.

He looked up when Darlene walked out of the bathroom and toward the bed in a short white nightgown. As she edged toward the bed, her blond hair flowing to her shoulders and still damp from her shower, he could smell her long before she reached him. He breathed in the scent of lavender as she sat down on the bed beside him, and he just stared at her for a moment. How was it possible that she was even more beautiful than the day he married her? He knew he was a lucky man. She climbed into bed, pressed her body next to his, then leaned up and kissed him tenderly on the mouth.

She smiled. “Who do you love?”

Brad swallowed hard, a knot the size of a golf ball in his throat. “You, baby,” he managed to croak out in a raspy voice.

She kissed him again, and Brad pulled her closer. He could feel her heart beating against his chest, and he wondered if she could feel his accelerated pulse. As much as he could, he shifted his attention to his wife, but in the back of his mind, he couldn't stop thinking about the secret he was keeping from her.

Friday morning, the kids were still sleeping at nine o'clock in the morning, but Darlene could see Layla from her front porch, riding her horse in a far pasture. She slipped on her tennis shoes, then grabbed her keys. A few minutes later, she was turning into Layla's driveway.

“You look like you just crawled out of bed,” Layla said as she dismounted from her horse.

“Leave it to you to always make me feel my best, Layla.” Darlene sipped from a cup of coffee she'd brought with her. “Got a minute?”

“Uh-oh. What's wrong?” Layla frowned, one hand on her hip. “You have that look.”

“What look?”

“That serious look you get sometimes.” Layla sighed. “Let's go in. It's hot out here already.”

Darlene followed Layla in, all the way to the kitchen. She waited while Layla drank some water, then they both sat down at the kitchen table.

“Brad was upset that the kids were riding horses here yesterday when he'd told them not to.”

Layla pointed a finger at Darlene. “I asked those kids if they had permission to ride the horses. Ansley didn't say anything, but Chad said it was fine with you.” She rolled her eyes. “I should have known better after the way Brad reacted the other night. But you know, these horses are gentle. There couldn't be finer animals for them to learn on, and I was right there with them.”

“I know, but my kids wouldn't know what to do if one of them got spooked or something.” She sipped her coffee. “But Brad's just been in a bad mood anyway. I guess he's been worried about Grace, and we hadn't been getting along very well.”

“Things better now?”

Darlene recalled their time together the night before. “Yes. Things are much better.” She decided to change the subject. “I haven't seen Tom's car here.”

“He's out of town on business, but he's called.” A soft smile lit Layla's face.

“I hope things work out for the two of you. I really do.”

Layla shrugged. “They might. They might not.”

Darlene waited a few moments to see if Layla would elaborate. When she didn't, she asked, “And that's okay with you?”

Layla tapped her finger to her mouth a few times. “Yes, it is. Either way. We've talked a lot. About everything. And that's something we didn't do after Marissa died. I guess it was too raw back then.” She paused. “Oh, there were tears, for both of us. But there were things that needed to be said, and I think that whatever happens, we'll stay close.” She smiled, shook her head. “You know, I prayed for God to bring Tom back. And He did. But I never expected things to turn out this way. I know that I'll be fine if we don't get back together. And Tom will be okay too.”

Darlene touched the dove pendant around her neck. “You sound different . . . I mean, about everything.”

Layla smiled. “It's been a long time since I felt the peacefulness that a relationship with God can bring. I've missed it.”

They were quiet for a minute.

“Can I . . . ask you something?” Darlene ran her finger around the rim of her coffee cup. “It's about Dave.”

Layla frowned. “Is he hitting on you?”

Darlene sat taller. “Why would you ask that?”

Layla raised her chin, lifting one eyebrow. “Because I saw the way he was looking at you at the gala.”

Darlene shrugged. “I don't know. I mean, I think maybe. I went to his house to see some paintings that Cara had done recently, after I'd run into him at Walmart.” Darlene scratched her head. “I don't know, Layla. Sometimes, the way he looks at me . . . I just get this feeling. Maybe I'm wrong.”

“Stay away from him. You and Brad have a great thing going. Don't mess it up.”

Darlene was insulted. “I would never do anything to mess it up.”

“Never say never,” Layla said as she stood up, walked to the sink, and filled her glass up with water.

“No, cheating is just not something Brad or I would do. It just wouldn't happen.”

“Then why are you even telling me this? Are you attracted to Dave?”

“No!”

Layla sat back down. “It's okay if you are. He's a handsome man. Doesn't mean you have to act on it.”

Memories of dancing with Dave at the gala flooded her mind, along with the tender way he treated her in Walmart, the way he looked at her in his bedroom. Yes, he was handsome, but she was never tempted for one second. Uncomfortable a few times, but never tempted.

“Of course he's nice looking. But I don't see him like that.” She stood up. “Never mind. I shouldn't have said anything. He wants to bring Cara over to see the chickens from time to time.”

Layla grunted, grinning. “I bet he does. Probably while Brad's at work and the kids are in school. They start school next week, right?”

“Yes. And, Layla, quit saying things like that. I'm going home.”

She should have known that Layla would react exactly as she had. Problem was, Darlene was having a hard time arguing with her. Layla followed her to the door. Darlene turned around before she left. “See you at church Sunday?”

“You betcha. I told you, me and God are on good terms these days.” Layla gave a thumbs-up. “Plus, I don't want to miss pancakes.” She frowned for a few moments. “Is Brad going to still be mad at me?”

“No. He won't be mad. Just don't let the kids ride the horses for a while. I think Grace is doing better, and he and I are doing better, so hopefully he won't be as cranky.”

“I just don't think my babies would ever throw your babies. Those horses have never thrown anyone.”

“I know. And I'm sure he'll come around. The whole thing with Grace scared us both.”

“But you think she's stopped cutting?”

“I don't think she's done it any more, and her counselor says they are making progress.”

“Good.” Layla waved. “See you Sunday.”

It started off just like any other Sunday. Church at eleven, followed by pancakes. Layla had sat with them at church, stayed for brunch, then hurried off to pick up Tom at the airport in Houston that afternoon.

Darlene agreed to kitchen cleanup by herself so all the kids could go shopping for last-minute school supplies in the afternoon. After a lengthy argument about whether or not Chad or Grace would drive, Ansley flipped a coin. Grace won, but Darlene wondered if Ansley rigged the toss since she disliked Chad's loud music as much as Grace.

She wiped the counters, dried her hands, and went to find Brad. He'd been quiet, but not nearly as cranky as he'd been the past couple of weeks. This seemed like a good opportunity to sneak in some time to themselves, maybe even drive to Brenham to go see a movie.

After checking around the house and calling his name, she figured he must be piddling in the barn, or the “Man Cave” as he called it. She was almost to the barn door when she heard him talking. No one else was home, so she knew he was on his phone. She was just about to turn the corner and go through the barn door when she heard Brad's strained voice.

“I'm telling you, Barbara . . . if my wife finds out about this, my marriage is over.”

Chapter Seventeen

Darlene's white tennis shoes were rooted to the ground as her thoughts swirled in a thunderous tornado.

It was a beautiful, sunny day, birds chirping, cows mooing in the distance, and enough breeze to gently ring the wind chimes on the front porch. A beautiful day for anyone whose world hadn't just slipped off its axis.

She stood perfectly still. Listening.

“Fine. That's fine. I'll talk to you tomorrow.”

She heard Brad click his cell phone off, but she still couldn't move. Taking a deep breath, she tried to assemble her thoughts. Should she confront him? Would he just lie to her? How long had it been going on? Who was she? Was Brad going to leave her?

Seeing a movie or spending quality time together no longer held the appeal it had a few minutes ago. She took a deep breath and edged forward. Until now, trust had never been an issue between them. That was one thing they'd always held sacred, and despite Brad's long hours at work, she'd never once suspected him of cheating.

But if he was, she wasn't going to play all her cards right here and now. She had children to think about, her life, their future. A future without him? She swallowed hard. There had to be some other explanation. She replayed his words over and over in her mind.
“I'm telling you, Barbara . . . if my wife finds out about this, my marriage is over.”

Hatred raged inside of her toward a woman she'd never met. And toward Brad.

She shook her head, despite the tears building in her eyes. There had to be an explanation.
Not Brad
.

She jumped when he walked out of the barn.

“Hey. Whatcha doing?” He walked up to her, his cell phone in hand.

“Just lookin' for you.” She put a hand to her forehead and blocked the sun, her heart racing. “Everything okay?” She glanced at his cell phone.

“Oh.” He lifted the phone, glanced at it. “Yeah, just work stuff.” He dropped his arm to his side again. “All the kids leave in Grace's car?”

“Yeah. It's just us.” She forced a smile, wishing her heart would stop pounding against her chest. It was everything she could do not to cry. Or punch him in the gut.

“I need to go run some errands. We need more chicken feed, and one of the Longhorns busted the fence again. I need to fix it before Layla sees it.” He started walking toward the house, so Darlene got in step with him, looking at her first and only love.
This can't be happening
.