Read Needles and Pearls Online
Authors: Gil McNeil
‘Gran.’
‘I know, but I can’t help thinking, pet. He was such a handsome boy. Of course he’d be an old man now, but still. I was talking to Betty about it, and we reckon he wouldn’t mind, not after all these years.’
‘I’m sure he wouldn’t, Gran.’
‘And I’ll tell you something else: I wish your Nick was here, even if he hadn’t come to his senses and he’d gone ahead with the divorce and everything. I wanted you to know that. I know he made mistakes, and it would be better all round if his mother knew it, and then maybe she’d be a bit nicer to you, but what’s done is done and it’s a shame, that’s all. I can still see him in his wedding suit on the day you got married. So young. Like my Tom. Life can be very cruel.’
Bloody hell. If she carries on like this we’ll be sobbing all the way to the church.
‘Yes, but not today, Gran.’
‘No, but it’s on days like this that you remember. I know you’ll have been thinking about it, pet, but it does get easier as the years go by, that’s all I can say. And I’m so proud of you. I wanted to say that too. If it wasn’t for you taking over the shop I doubt me and Reg would be getting married. It means the world to me having you here. You know that, don’t you?’
‘Yes, Gran.’
‘Good. Well, we’d better be off then. I don’t want to keep Reg waiting. He’ll be getting nervous and his stomach plays him up something terrible when he gets nervous. Come on, hold my hand and walk your Gran to the car, pet. I’m still not feeling right in these shoes.’
The church is packed when we arrive, and Mrs Davies has put flowers everywhere so it smells of roses and hymn books
with a hint of freesias. ‘For Those in Peril on the Sea’ is playing, and the Lifeboat people are attempting something tricky with the chorus; I didn’t know they were meant to be singing, but I’m guessing they’ve been practising because they’re all standing in a bunch at the back wearing smart suits and their Lifeboat badges.
The wedding march starts and Gran starts to shake as we walk up the aisle; I’m meant to be behind her, but she grips my arm so tight I end up walking next to her, with Jack and Archie sprinkling petals in front of us in slow motion. By the time we reach the Vicar Archie’s basket is empty, so he turns and hands it to Mum with a beaming smile, and then bows to Gran before sitting down next to Dad, and Jack does the same, and then we’re into ‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today …’
Vin winks at me when Reg nearly drops the ring, and it’s all very touching, so most of us are sniffing by the end, including Lady Denby, who’s wearing a giant hat and blows her nose with a very loud trumpet as we’re processing back up the aisle, which makes Jack giggle.
Reg is looking less pale as we pose outside the church for photographs, with me and Vin waiting in the wings; we’re sitting on the wooden seat in the churchyard while Lulu takes the boys for a wander round before they get too fidgety.
‘They look so happy, don’t they, Vin?’
‘You’re not going to start crying again, are you, because I’ve run out of tissues.’
‘You’re such a romantic, and anyway, I saw you.’
‘Saw me what?’
‘Dabbing back the tears.’
‘Tears of relief, trust me. And men don’t dab. Christ, I thought he was going to have a stroke or something this morning. He was so shaky I even had to do the buttons up
on his shirt for him. And that old codger Alf was no use. I thought the best man was meant to calm everyone down but he was as bad as Reg. That bloody tie took us about six shots before they were both happy.’
Reg chose his oldest friend Alfred as his best man; they were at school together, I think.
‘Well, you all looked lovely. Morning dress really suits you.’
‘I feel like a total tit.’
‘Lulu looks great, doesn’t she?’
‘I hadn’t noticed.’
‘Vin.’
‘She always looks all right to me.’
‘That’s because you love her.’
‘Steady on.’
‘Go on, say it.’
‘No.’
‘I’ll tell Mum it was you that burnt the hole in the living-room carpet. And you can’t give me a Chinese burn, because it’s illegal.’
‘Since when is it illegal to give your sister a Chinese burn?’
‘When she’s pregnant and you’re sitting outside a church. Go on, I want to hear you say it.’
‘I quite like her.’
‘Vin.’
‘If she wasn’t around it would feel like the world had shrunk. For ever. Will that do you?’
‘That’ll do nicely, thank you.’
Oh dear, I think I’m going to cry again.
Vin coughs.
‘Mum’s managed to behave herself pretty well so far, hasn’t she? Those herbal things must be stronger than we thought. I wonder if she’ll be calling Reg Dad?’
‘I doubt it. But it must be a bit weird for her. Imagine how you’d feel.’
‘What, if she dumped Dad and married someone else, you mean? I wouldn’t go.’
‘Everything’s so simple in boy world, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, if you don’t let girls complicate it for you.’
‘It must be strange for her, Vin. She never knew Grandad Tom, don’t forget, but I bet she still feels a bit torn.’
He puts his hand over mine.
‘Are we talking about Mum, or the baby? She’s always been fine about it, you know that.’
‘Yes, but there was a war on; not having a dad because he was blown up in the Atlantic during the war is one thing, but if he’s not around because he’s not up for it, that’s something else. And I’d really hate that, if the baby felt like it was second best or something.’
‘It won’t. No kid of yours is ever going to feel like that.’
‘Thanks, Vin.’
‘Times have changed, sweetheart. Families come in all shapes and sizes. We don’t all have to fit into little suffocating boxes any more, thank God.’
‘Well, that’s a relief, because I don’t think I’ll be fitting into anything little for quite a while.’
He squeezes my hand.
‘Come on then, Big Bertha, let’s get you up. I think it’s our turn for the happy snaps.’
Connie and Mark have hung white ribbon all over the pub when we arrive, unless Elsie nipped round earlier, and Nelly’s by the door in her ballerina outfit, carrying a basket full of sugared almonds tied up in little net bundles with white ribbon. There’s champagne for everyone, and plates of sandwiches on all the tables, with tartlets and Mark’s
special cakes and biscuits, so there’s a great deal of milling backwards and forwards and people drift out into the garden, until Connie claps her hands and shushes everyone and Mark wheels the wedding cake in.
The figures on the top tier are revolving slowly to the sound of a waltz playing on a tiny white musical box. Everyone claps and cheers. Gran’s decided she doesn’t want any speeches, mainly because we were both worried what Mum might say, so Reg proposes a toast to his beautiful bride and they cut the cake, and Elsie bursts into tears and waves her hankie. It’s all perfect, and Gran seems to have gone into a blissed-out daze.
The cake is some sort of magical combination of chestnut and praline, and I’m trying to work out how I can have another slice before I rescue Mum from one of Reg’s relatives who’s been calling her Felicity for most of the afternoon when Connie comes over.
‘Is everything good?’
‘It’s amazing. Thanks, Con, you’ve both made it perfect for her.’
‘She looks so happy.’
‘If she was any more happy she’d burst.’
Connie smiles and sits down.
‘Two people have already asked us if we can do the same sort of thing for them, and Mark told them a silly price, because he’s so tired, and they said yes. Can you believe it? If we continue like this we can be paying one of the loans early.’
‘Well, you deserve it, sweetheart – you’ve worked miracles here. And Alison and Peggy have done well today too, don’t you think?’
She nods; finding reliable waitresses who have the same high standards as Connie and Mark hasn’t been easy, but
they’re gradually building up a list of staff they can rely on, including Pete, the new barman, who’s turned out to be a real treasure despite the occasional spectacular drinking session. He’s very handsome and is busy making Linda and Tina some special wedding cocktail he’s invented, which seems to be going down very well.
‘Now I feel like we belong here. A wedding makes you feel like you belong. Like Italy isn’t my only home.’
I lean forwards and kiss her, as Vin comes over.
‘Not interrupting anything, am I?’ He’s looking rather flushed.
‘How much champagne have you had, Vin?’
‘I’ve lost count. I’d forgotten how much I like champagning. You should have knitted her wedding dress, you know, Jo, surprised you missed that one. Now what was I meant to be telling you? Oh yes, Archie. Up a tree. Can’t get down. But if you find me a ladder I can get him down, no problem, so don’t start going into one. So, have you? Got a ladder I mean.’
‘Not on me, no, and you’re not climbing up it when we do find one. Con, ladder?’
‘We’ve got a stepping ladder.’
‘Perfect.’
‘I’ll find Mark.’
After we’ve all gathered round the bottom of an apple tree and watched Mark get Archie down, much to his annoyance since he’s now maintaining he wasn’t actually stuck at all, it’s time for Gran and Reg to leave for their cruise.
The Bowls Club people all line up to form a guard of honour, which is slightly disconcerting, and I’m really hoping they’re not going to be chucking bowling balls around and giving someone concussion, but they do some
special bowling salute instead and Gran starts to get tearful.
‘Now you’re sure you’ll be all right, pet? Three weeks is a long time, you know. Promise me you’ll call if you need me.’
‘Of course I will, Gran, but we’ll all be fine.’
‘They can get me off the ship in a helicopter in one of those little basket things if you need me. Reg has found out all about it.’ She’s holding his hand. Bless.
‘Nothing’s going to happen, Gran. You go and have a lovely honeymoon and we’ll be waiting for you when you get back. Have a lovely time, Reg.’
He puts his hand out, and then hesitates and leans forward and kisses me on the cheek.
‘I’ve been meaning to ask you, Reg – when you come home, would you mind if the boys called you Grandad? Only they were asking me earlier. They’d like to, if you wouldn’t mind. Would you?’
I’ve been saving this as my final wedding present, since I know they’ll both love it.
‘I’d be honoured.’
I get a hug from Gran and then we help them into the car. Even Mum’s looking mildly touched, and she’s wearing the amethyst brooch Reg gave her yesterday as we stand waving them off.
‘Let’s get back inside, shall we, Mum? Say our goodbyes and then we can make a move, don’t you think? I want to find Mark and thank him. Would you like to come with me?’
‘Yes please, dear. You can tell he trained in Italy – those biscotti were delicious.’
I kiss her.
‘What was that for?’
‘Nothing. Can’t a girl kiss her mum without a reason?’
‘I’ve changed my mind about you and pink – I think it might be one of your colours after all. Maybe a shade or two darker, but you looked very pretty in the church.’
Wonders will never cease: a compliment from Mum.
‘You looked lovely too.’
Vin winks at me as we go back inside.
I’m in the shop on Wednesday texting Ellen, who’s gone into pre-wedding meltdown, and is causing havoc at work. She pushed her co-anchor right off his chair yesterday twelve seconds before the six o’clock news, and has been given an official warning, which she tore up into small pieces in front of senior management.
Have raised kilt issue with boys. Suggest standby trousers, just in case.
The phone rings.
‘What the fuck are standby trousers?’
‘Morning, Ellen. How are we feeling today?’
‘Quite close to the fucking edge, since you ask. Technically I think I’m teetering.’
‘Sweetheart, you’ve got to calm down.’
‘No, I don’t. Trust me. We’re flying up this afternoon and Rebecca’s having some sort of dispute with the florist about white roses, so we’ve got to tour fucking Glasgow looking for alternatives and then I’ve got a rehearsal dinner with my mother. So calming down isn’t really an option.’
‘How can a florist not be able to get white roses? I’ll ask Mrs Davies for you if you like. We can bring them up in the car.’
‘They’re some special scented ones she’s put on her list, and if it’s on her list there’s hell to pay if it doesn’t happen. But she’s got it under control, I think. Actually, can you text her about the standby trousers thing, and don’t blame me if she throws a complete fruit loop.’
‘Sure.’
‘Am I sounding like a nutter?’
‘Mildly.’
‘Good.’
‘How’s your mum doing?’
‘About to find herself under sedation.’
‘That doesn’t sound good.’
‘I’m getting a few syringes so I can jab her in the leg every time she annoys me.’
‘What’s her latest crime?’
‘How long have you got? She rang me at seven this morning to talk about chocolate mousse.’
‘Are we having chocolate mousse?’
‘No.’
‘Right. So what can I do to help?’
‘Buy some poison.’
‘Ellen. Count to ten. Slowly.’