Nerd Girl (9 page)

After the introductions, I headed back to my office to let the morning’s activities and information sink in. It was going to be a while before I had another long, relaxing weekend; maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to start a new book the other night after all. I sighed and laid out my plan of attack for the next two weeks.

An hour later, my stomach growled as my thoughts kept returning back to Ryan. Damn him. I had promised myself to stop obsessing over him. I’m pathetic, because it took less than twenty-four hours before my promise flew out the window. My moment of opportunity to ask Catherine about the picture had passed. Well, at least the picture wasn’t going anywhere. I supposed I could ask Catherine about it anytime. I shook my head, exasperated at the ridiculous coincidence of the situation.

I’m not sure how much more time went by, but when I saw movement in the corner of my eye, I looked up and Vivek was standing at my door. Amy, one of the girls who had interviewed me, was with him. She gave me a little wave, smiled and said hello.

“Amy and I are heading to the cafeteria to grab lunch,” Vivek offered. “We were wondering if you wanted to join us.”

“Sure, that sounds great,” I said appreciatively. I needed the distraction.

As we headed downstairs to the cafeteria, Amy asked how my first day was going. I filled her in on my deliverables and she offered me her assistance tomorrow.

I remembered Amy well from my interview. She appeared to be a little older than me, maybe in her early thirties, and she had two little boys, ages four and one. I recalled seeing several pictures of her family in her office. She was Asian, with beautiful, long, layered black hair, and stylish in her Nordstrom Seven jeans and fitted blazer. Amy managed the vendor relationships with all of our marketing agencies. She was friendly, smart, funny and down to earth. I liked her immediately.

As we entered the cafeteria located in the first floor of the building, I perused the various food stations. The food in MS cafeterias was actually quite decent. I walked by the grill, the sandwich bar, pizza bar, and debated between the stir fry bar and the salad bar, opting for the latter. I waited in line at the cash register and when my turn was up, I swiped my badge to trigger a debit from my prepaid account.

I grabbed a lime sparkling water from one of the large soda refrigerators and spotted Amy waving at me from a booth on the far south side of the cafeteria. As I settled myself into the booth, Vivek and Amy were discussing our annual performance calibrations.

“I’m a little freaked out about this new rating system. Did you have your review yet?” Vivek asked, sounding nervous.

“No, mine’s Wednesday, the week after Catherine gets back. I’ll be happy if I get a three,” Amy replied. Her lips were in a tight smile and when she caught my eye, she sighed and shrugged.

Vivek shook his head in disagreement. “You’ll get a two. The executives love you. They all know who you are and you kicked ass this year.”

“No, I won’t get a two. I come in at nine each morning and leave at five. I don’t work at night. I don’t commit my life and soul to this company.” She said this matter-of-factly, with no excuses or apologies. “I’d be perfectly happy with a three, because I want to spend time with my family.”

MS had a performance management system known as “stack ranking” for rating their employees as top, good, average, or poor. One was the best, five was the worst. Since it was based on a bell curve, most people got three as a score. Your score directly correlated to your annual bonus, stock awards and salary increases.

There had always been a passionate debate, both inside and outside of the company, as to whether or not this was the most effective way to grade employee performance.
Vanity Fair
even wrote an article about it last month, blaming a perceived MS demise in part to this performance rating system. I could see some logic to the stack ranking approach, as this was a good way to clear out the bottom feeders. The part that I never agreed with was the insistence that a bell curve must be met. If there was a high performing team, like Catherine’s team, and everyone was a rock star, unfortunately someone had to get the low score. Yet if there was another team with a group of mediocre performers relative to your own team, they would have some people still come out on top. I never understood the macro-level justice in that. Sometimes, this would foster competition with members in your own team, which might lead to an aggressive, unfriendly working environment. The theory was that everyone was out for his or her own, rather than helping the company in a “one for all, all for one” attitude. No one said MS was a walk in the park. I was a firm believer in the philosophy, “If you can’t handle the heat, then get out of the kitchen.” And many did. I didn’t disagree with the
Vanity Fair
article, but like any argument, it showed only one side of the story.

I earned a two this year. I had my review a few weeks ago, before I left my old team. Thankfully, scores were assigned before I told my manager I wanted to leave. I’m not saying that I would’ve had a lower score had they done the calibrations after they knew about my intentions to leave, but the risk was always there.

I looked to Amy admiringly. “I’m so amazed that you’re able to work here, with all the demands this company asks of you, and still manage raising two boys.”

Vivek nodded in agreement. I could tell Vivek looked up to Amy and I could see why. I was single, had no children, and sometimes I could barely keep up with the pace MS demanded of me. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like taking care of two kids and a husband on top of that.

“Yeah, well I don’t have much of a choice,” she said humbly. “Maybe someday I can cut back to part time or something. I’m trying to get my husband to get a job here; he does server sales right now. If we can get that to happen, I might think of quitting or maybe doing some consulting part time. But for now, I have to stay because of the benefits.” She shrugged. She didn’t sound like she was complaining, though. She had resigned herself to this reality and was merely trying to make the best of it.

“Amy is my idol,” Vivek said with reverence. “She has her priorities in order. Even after what she just said, she’ll probably still get a two, because the executives love her. She’s such an ass kisser.”

Amy teasingly whacked Vivek on the head. “Shut up.”

Vivek looked at me and whispered conspiringly, “Amy is Catherine’s favorite, too.”

She glared back at him in jest and I couldn’t help laughing at their friendly banter. They were obviously good friends as well as co-workers.

A petite, dark-haired girl walked up to our table. She was gorgeous and I recognized her from the interviews. “Can I join you guys?” she asked.

“Of course,” Amy said as she scooted over further on her side of the booth.

“Hi, Julia. Do you remember me? I’m Mia,” she greeted me enthusiastically.

Mia was also on Catherine’s team and had been on the interview loop. She looked about my age; tiny and full of energy. She had on a pair of contemporary, red-framed eyeglasses and bright red lipstick to match. With her long dark brown hair, cute bangs, and beautiful light blue eyes, I could see why her doppelganger was Zooey Daschanel, though Lisa Loeb would’ve been a close second …

“Yes, of course I remember you,” I said, smiling in acknowledgement.

Vivek nudged Amy to get her attention as a tall, attractive guy with dark hair walked past the table. I looked over at Vivek and noticed his mouth was gaping open. His eyes followed the gorgeous man down the hall.

“Oh my God!” Mia gasped in hushed embarrassment. “Can you be more obvious, Vivek?”

“What?” he defended. “I was just looking! Can’t I enjoy the scenery? I wouldn’t touch.”

“Whatever happened to Gabe? Aren’t you still seeing him?” Amy asked.

“Oh, Amy, we haven’t caught up in a while, have we?” Vivek looked disapprovingly at her. “Gabe was
so
yesterday,” he said waving his hand in a blasé manner.

“What happened?” Amy asked.

“He wanted to see other people.” Vivek rolled his eyes. “We’re still friends, but that’s all. I want a relationship, not a fu—”

“Stop!” Mia yelled, interrupting him. “This is Julia’s first time having lunch with us. Mind your manners, Vivek!”

He rolled his eyes. “She’ll learn eventually. Besides, I can already tell that Julia can hang with us. She’s cool.” He grinned at me with a knowing nod.

I smiled, nodded, and winked back at him.
I had found my people.

“Well, I hate to break it to ya, but that guy you were gaping at is straight,” Mia commented.

“Yeah, I figured.” Vivek sighed in defeat. “All the good ones are always taken or straight.”

“But he
is
single I think,” Mia said with a mischievous little gleam in her eye. She looked over at me. “What about you, Julia? Is he your type?”

“Sheesh, Mia! You don’t even know if she’s single yet!” Amy reminded her, looking protectively my way. “Give it a rest, would you?”

I nervously laughed off any discomfort at the sudden attention focused on me. “Oh gosh, I don’t know. I barely got a look at him. Besides, I don’t think I could ever date someone from the office.” I cringed internally as I said this, knowing that I was blatantly lying. If it were Ryan, I knew that all rules would be tossed out the window without a second thought.

Mia shook her head in defiance. “This is MS. People do it all the time. We work so freakin’ much, where else should we be expected to meet our future spouse?”

“Who else do you know who met their spouse here?” Vivek asked.

Mia contemplated and thought out loud. “Brian Blaine and Willa Comstock met here,” she said proudly, happy that she came up with an MS couple. “Now granted, they both ended up leaving the company due to their inter office scandal …” she continued, her voice hushed.

“There was also Rob Crocket and Jessica Newton,” Vivek added. “They were peers. They’re now married.”

Mia nodded in enthusiastic support. Amy gave me another sympathizing look.

“I don’t think I could do it,” I replied. “Everyone would be in your business. If I ever did, I would totally keep it private.” I had to cover my bases. Should the opportunity for me to date someone in the office ever come up, I didn’t want anyone to remember this conversation and call me a hypocrite.

I tried not to look too guilty. Why I felt guilty, I’m not sure, since nothing had happened yet between Ryan and me. And if something were to happen, the likelihood of him knowing these people was probably really slim. The Redmond campus had over fifty thousand employees; it was like a little city. Megasoft even had its own exit off of the freeway.

“So, let’s hypothetically pretend that everyone here at this table was single. Who would you consider dating from the office?” Vivek was asking everyone, but looking directly at me.

“You guys, give her a break!” exclaimed Amy. “We’re going to scare the poor girl off.”

I laughed. Amy was obviously the voice of reason in this group. “I’m good.” I smiled at Amy and gave her a look of gratitude for her willingness to step up for me, even though we both realized it was a hopeless effort. “Thanks anyways, though.”

Vivek stuck his tongue out at Amy, implying she was being a poor sport. Amy glared back.

Mia was concentrating, trying to think of a list of attractive men at MS. “Ryan McGraw! Now
he
is hot. Of course, he’s not a realistic dating option. He’s too high up the food chain. That would just be
way
too weird and inappropriate.”

The name Ryan piqued my interest. Sheesh! Was I going to be distracted every time I heard the name Ryan? Will that name ever not mean something to me?

Amy nodded in agreement. “Yes! He
is
yummy. I’ll agree to that one.”

“Hey, I thought you were on my side?” I implored.

Amy shrugged with an apologetic look; apparently she just couldn’t help it.

Vivek nodded. “Yup. Totally agree. He’s hot.”

I decided to play their game. I was curious anyways. “I’ve never seen him before. I’ve heard of him though. He’s the GM of the US sub, right?”

Amy nodded. “He’s the VP. You’ll see him at the All Hands meeting on Friday. I saw the agenda in Catherine’s office this morning.”

“He’s not married,” Mia said with a sly smile. “No ring on his finger.”

Man, Mia was a piece of work. She seemed to know the dating and marital status of all the men she worked with. She reminded me a little of a dark-haired Tinker Bell, with the mischievous attitude to boot.

“Whoever lands him,” she continued, “is one lucky girl. Not only is he a total hottie, but Kyle told me he’s super cool. Kyle said he was really personable and approachable.”

“Hot, successful, rich, intelligent, and hot; did I mention hot? What’s not to like?” Vivek said with a salacious smile accompanied by a double eyebrow raise.

“Speaking of Kyle,” Mia interrupted, slapping her hand to her forehead. “He’s a cutie. And the sweetest thing about him is that he has no idea how sexy he is.” Mia had already moved on to her next target, and thankfully one I knew.

“Yup. I know him and I totally agree. He’s definitely cute,” I agreed.

Amy nodded with me and added, “He’s totally sweet, and nice, too. He’s got to have a girlfriend, though, don’t you think? Guys like him are never single.”

“No, he’s available,” Mia said confidently. “My boyfriend and Kyle are good friends. I would totally go for him, but I’m taken already.” She grinned and shrugged. Well, that explained why she wasn’t chasing after these men herself. I don’t even know the guy, but more power to the man who could handle someone like Mia.

“What about you, Julia? Are you single? Amy’s right; we never really asked you that question, did we?” asked Mia.

“Um … Yes,” I said cautiously. I was a little nervous at what ideas this disclosure might give Mia.

“You should totally go for him!” Mia gushed.

“Oh no!” I said vehemently, shaking my head back and forth. “Catherine said I need to make sure I build a good relationship with him, and I don’t think she meant that in the carnal knowledge sense.”