Nerds on Fire (22 page)

“
This is a great setup.”
Mark walked around the equipment. She noticed a few new additions
and figured he had added those.

“
Yes, we’ve been working on
it for years. I love having a fitness room here at
home.”

He nodded and then fired up the
treadmill. With a contented nod, she moved to the elliptical, her
preferred machine. It didn’t take long for them to both settle into
a rhythm.

Trixi was surprised at how easy it was
to perform this task with him in the room. Usually she didn’t like
to work out with anyone other than family. Yet Mark fit in like any
of her family would.

Over the next forty minutes, they
moved to various pieces of equipment, some the same, others
different, but he didn’t interfere at all with her usual routine.
It was interesting to her how he fell into her life so easily. Then
she wondered when he planned to fall out of it.

Surely this easy camaraderie wouldn’t
last. She decided to enjoy it while it did.

After a time, their equipment fell
silent and they both headed toward the towels stacked in the
corner. She leaned against the wall, rubbing sweat as he towered
over her and did the same.

Mark de Vosse in dress clothes was
extraordinary. He was every bit as impressive in surgical scrubs.
But the man rocketed beyond majestic after a workout. His muscles
were well defined and with that glistening sweat, he was
drool-worthy.

She nearly hyperventilated on the
spot.

Chapter 22

Trixi wiped
beads of sweat from her brow. He wanted to watch them cross her
cheek, then forge a path across her nose, highlighting those
freckles he couldn’t resist.

She was breathing heavy, since she’d
been working out, and her curves were enticing to say the least.
Where most women were soft, so was Trixi, but her toned muscles
were somehow intoxicating as well. There was no doubt the woman was
gorgeous.

Yet part of her allure lay in that she
was a wondrous being. Smart, funny, compassionate, gorgeous, but
also sweet and sincere and loyal, she was the epitome of every
woman he had ever wanted. All here in one small, enticing
package.

He still couldn’t believe his luck at
finding a woman like her. Upon their first meeting, he had been
impressed. The longer he knew her, the more the feeling
grew.

Mark also appreciated Leo’s verbose
thoughts on the subject of Trixi Duvall. He still wasn’t completely
certain Leo didn’t want Trixi for himself. Leo’s relationship with
Katy seemed to be going well, but that pair were completely
oblivious to what was happening right under their noses. He
therefore concluded he shouldn’t trust Leo’s
perceptions.

What if he was just friends with Katy
and wanted Trixi instead?

Denial coursed through him at the mere
thought.

Even though he loved his brother, Leo
couldn’t have Trixi.

Besides, Leo was falling in
love with Katy, even though the dummy didn’t know it. He couldn’t
have both women, and since Mark wanted to pursue a relationship
with Trixi...
Did
he want something deeper with Trixi?

This seemed sudden. Right now with the
move and the busyness of work, he wasn’t certain he had time to
think about a relationship on top of all the upheaval.

Then there was still sorting this out
with Leo. He should probably also determine if Trixi herself was
interested, or if she preferred Leo. For some reason he didn’t
think so. They were good friends, but he might be reading the signs
all wrong.

It wasn’t like he had a lot of
experience with this man-woman thing. Fortunately, from what he
garnered at work, neither did Trixi. He appreciated she wasn’t
knowledgeable about love either. It meant they could learn
together, unless she wasn’t interested.

She tossed her towel in a basket near
the door and he copied her after wiping the last of his
sweat.

“
That felt good.” She
preceded him out the door.

He nodded. “I needed it.”

Trixi placed a gentle hand on his arm.
“Are you okay?”

“
Yes.” After a quick
reassessment, he realized he was. “Just feeling for his
family.”

The hand on his arm squeezed gently.
“I’m sure we all are. But Katy said they knew there was a chance he
wouldn’t make it. You made certain they were well aware of the
possibility. Surgery was his only chance.”

That knowledge didn’t make his
patient’s death easier.

“
They got to say goodbye to
him, Mark.” There was a restrained note in Trixi’s
voice.

“
Yes.” He stared long and
hard at her. A patch of dying sunlight highlighted her as the light
faded.

Her intake was noisy, as though she
struggled to contain her emotions. There was something here.
Something important.

“
You didn’t get to say
goodbye?” His voice was soft so as to not spook her.

Trixi’s nod was jerky and her breath
rattled. Her arms curled around herself, like she was suddenly
cold.

Not able to bear her discomfort,
whether he had caused it or not, Mark wrapped his arms around her.
He held her tight, feeling the nearly invisible shivers racing
through her.

He repeated his question.

Her nod was minute. “My mother.”
Trixi’s raw voice pierced him.

A shudder pulsed through him as
goosebumps rose along his arms. That wasn’t what he expected to
hear.

“
Your mother is
gone?”

“
Yes.” The pain in her
voice was very evident.

“
I’m sorry,
Trixi.”

She didn’t say anything for a long
time, just stood there in his arms like a small, warm statue. Mark
held her a little tighter, the longing strong within to never
release this woman.

“
I was fifteen when they
came.”

“
Who came?”

“
The police.”

His heart sank. Trixi didn’t
elaborate, and he didn’t press her. He could tell this was bad. How
bad he didn’t know, but he didn’t want to infringe on her grief. He
still had both of his parents and he wanted to keep them for the
rest of his life.

There was no way for him to understand
the pain spiraling through Trixi.

Her voice was torn from her throat
when she spoke again. “They came to the door. Mom had run out to
the store for some items to finish dinner. My dad had just arrived
home from work.

“
We were standing in the
kitchen because she had been gone for a long time. Longer than
necessary to get the few items she needed.”

He didn’t want to hear the rest of
this. Instinctively he knew it. There was no way he could ask her
to continue.

Yet she did so without his prompting.
“When we were starting to worry, the doorbell rang.” She gestured
toward the front door behind him. “We changed the doorbell soon
after because none of us could bear to hear those
chimes.”

Her swallow sounded painful. “My dad
answered the door. There was a police officer there. He held his
hat in his hands while he verified who we were.”

Trixi swallowed again, and he felt her
throat working. He held her a little tighter.

“
Then he told us Mom had
been killed in an automobile accident. A drunk driver T-boned
her.”

A deep shuddering breath from
somewhere deep in her soul preceded the sobbing. His lungs
constricted so tight, he feared he’d stop breathing. Her small body
shook as her tears wet his t-shirt and he had no idea how to take
away her pain.

It seemed best to allow her to weep.
To get out all that debilitating pain. This couldn’t be the first
time she had cried... If he lost either of his parents, he doubted
the tears would stop.

“
What happened to the drunk
driver?” His voice rasped.

“
He walked away from the
accident with a few scratches and a broken wrist.”

“
I hope he went to
jail.”

She nodded. “He did. He served about a
tenth of his sentence and then was released due to
overcrowding.”

There was no adequate
response.

“
He’s since been pulled
over for reckless endangerment and other traffic violations, and he
continues to drink. From what we learned, he has family high up and
they keep getting him off.”

Mark couldn’t even utter the anger and
consternation winging through him. His throat was too tight. His
heart too constricted.

“
I’m sorry, Trixi,” was all
he finally managed. It was inane and not nearly enough.

Her nod was jerky, a little
uncoordinated. “I am too. It took a long time before I realized she
wasn’t coming back.”

“
How did you get through
the funeral?”

“
We were in shock. It took
a long time before it wore off. All three of us, plus Gran, Grampy,
Aunt Miriam, and Uncle Johnny, we all banded together even tighter,
but we also sort of just shut down.”

The breath she drew in was ragged, but
she kept on. “Then, less than a year later Grampy died. He had a
heart attack and then another, but at least we were able to say
goodbye to him.”

Two deaths in one year. It was
unimaginable. Mark’s family was huge, so death wasn’t unfamiliar.
They had lost plenty of people over the years. But none of them had
been as close a family member as Trixi had experienced.

He thought of Rylan Duvall. The man
lost his wife and then his father all in the space of a year. Mark
couldn’t imagine such grief, that amount of pain. Yet Rylan had two
kids he needed to remain strong for, not to mention his mother and
sister.

How did people endure so
much sorrow?

Maybe they continued because they
didn’t have any other choice. Yet this conversation with Trixi
helped him cope with the loss of his patient today. The man’s
family had understood the risks and they each took the opportunity
to tell him how much they loved him. He went into surgery well
aware of their love and respect.

Though he never awoke, he
knew.

Trixi was right; there was something
to be said for knowing.

Mark couldn’t begin to imagine the
pain she had endured as a child. Maybe she had been nearing
adulthood but fifteen was a very young age to lose a parent. Forty
was still a terrible age.

“
I’m so sorry,
Trixi.”

“
I am too.” She clung to
him, as though he was the only solid thing in her world at the
moment.

It was
something
he could do.

They stood in the hall for a long
time, neither of them speaking, but holding each other. Gran broke
them up when she sent Trixi upstairs to shower.

After Trixi disappeared, Gran turned
to him. “Thank you.”

“
For what?”

Gran studied him in silence for a few
disconcerting moments. “For finally breaking down her
barriers.”

“
What barriers?”

“
She erected them after we
buried her mother. I think she emotionally buried her mother and
stopped thinking about her. Like Trixi put her on ice and refused
to believe she’s dead.” Gran stared up the empty staircase. “Maybe
this will start the healing process. You have to
grieve.”

His stomach clenched. “She hasn’t
grieved all these years?”

“
I don’t think she could,”
Gran stated softly. “She was afraid she’d shatter. Finally she’s
come to a place where she has to grieve or she can’t move
forward.”

That made sense. Maybe Trixi wasn’t
able to grieve before. He was thankful he had been there to hold
her when she was finally ready. The idea of another man holding her
didn’t sit well with him at all.

If she needed a man to hold
her, it should be
him
.

When she returned twenty minutes
later, Trixi’s eyes were still red rimmed and she was too pale, but
she remained composed. He wanted to yank her back into his arms and
soothe away the hurt.

It was a new experience for him. Mark
had never felt this way before. Not for anyone, not even his
precious family. Was this what falling in love meant?

He hadn’t ever been in love before. In
lust, yes, in his younger years, but never love. The only knowledge
he had of love was the example of his massive family. Plenty of
them were in love.

Starting with his grandparents,
through to his parents, then all of his aunts and uncles who daily
showed them what love meant. Now many of his cousins had also found
love and were happy with their spouses.

It made sense this was his
turn.

But this new wrinkle concerned him. If
Trixi was only now healing over the death of her mother, maybe she
wasn’t ready for love.

That awful thought plummeted his
spirits worse than losing his patient today.