Nets and Lies (24 page)

“Like me,” I murmured.

Will nodded.

“Was he raping her?”

Will’s face reddened. “No, from what I saw, it was—uh, it was consensual. But even so, she screamed the moment she saw me. Dad whirled around.” Will shook his head. “He told me to get the fuck out of there. So I did. I ran all the way to Paul’s house where I spent the night.”

“The next morning when he came to pick me up, he told me it was a mistake, and it wasn’t ever going to happen again. But then he said if I told, it would just be heartache for everyone and that he could lose his job and the girl would get into a lot of trouble.” Will smiled bitterly. “The son of a bitch even guilt-tripped me by saying it would break my mother’s heart when she was already so sad over my grandfather.”

I ran my hand over his back. “And you never told?”

He stared straight ahead. “No, I never said a word.” When he turned to look at me, tears welled in his
eyes
. “It’s my fault, Mel. If I had said something, he would’ve been put away, and he could never have done this to you.”

I shook my head. “It isn’t your fault. You were just a kid, and you didn’t want to hurt your father or your mother.”

Will’s fists tightened into balls, and he pounded his thighs over and over again. “It is all my fault! I mean, I knew all of this when Jordan accused him, but I thought she was lying. I figured they were together just like he’d been with that other girl. But you…not you. I could’ve done something.”

I put both my hands on each side of Will’s face and forced him to look at me. “Stop it. I won’t let you blame yourself.”

“Yeah, but I bet you’re sure as hell still taking all the blame over that bastard.”

My gaze dropped to the blanket. “I..I can’t help it.”

A growl came from low in Will’s throat. “When I found out what he had done…I wanted to kill him.” He choked on his sobs. “I still want to kill him. A long, slow death where he’s tortured for what he did to you.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not?”

I sighed. “If you killed him, it wouldn’t take away what happened. It’s always going to be there. And if we’re going to stay together, you’re going to have to accept that.”

He stared into my eyes. “But how can I accept it? How can I ever be at peace with the fact my father—my flesh and blood—raped the only girl I’ve ever loved?”

“I don’t know how.” I shook my head sadly. “I don’t have all the answers yet. Maybe I never will. But I’m going to try.”

“You are?”

I stared down at my hands. “Yeah, there’s a really nice therapist who has been around to talk to me.” I peered up to meet Will’s shocked eyes. “I really like her. And she’s trying to help me get better,” I explained.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, it is.”

I nervously chewed on my lip, remembering something Dr. Leighton brought up in our last session. “Will?”

“Hmm.”

“If I asked you to do something, would you do it for me?”

“Of course…anything.”

I drew in a deep breath before asking, “Would you come to therapy with me?”

He tensed up next to me before pulling away. “Why?”

“It would be good for you…for us.”

“I don’t know, Mel…I’m not one of these people who believes in feeling a bunch of shit or telling my life story to some stranger.”

I nodded. “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have asked.”

He exhaled noisily. “Now don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Pretend that you really don’t want me to do something when I know deep down you do.” His lips curved into a smile. “You’re a terrible liar, Mel.”

“I’m sorry for lying. And you’re right. I do want you to come with me, but you don’t have to say anything. I just want you there for support.”

“All right, I think I can handle that.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

He eyed the clock on the wall. “Geez, it’s after four. I guess I better be getting home.”

Closing my eyes, I pressed my nose against his neck and inhaled of his comforting scent. “Why don’t you stay?”

He didn’t answer me. I pulled away to look in his face. “Will?”

His expression was pained. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, considering the circumstances and all.”

“But I like having you here with me. You make me feel safe, like I’m at home.” To prove there wasn’t any reason why he couldn’t stay, I brought my lips to his. I pulled away and whispered, “Stay.”

He answered my request by wrapping his arms tightly around me. And that night, Will and I slept together for the first time. We weren’t sharing a bed after our “first time” sexual experience like I always thought we would. Instead, this time together was about different needs and desires.

Sunlight streaming through the blinds woke me. Something heavy pressed against me. Before I could panic, I remembered Will was with me. I peered over to see him sleeping soundly.

I smiled to myself when I thought about the night nurse’s reaction when she walked in and saw Will in the bed with me. She had completely freaked out and threatened to call security. After all, my chart clearly stated I’d been admitted for a neurotic episode brought on by rape, and here I was in bed with some strange guy. Luckily, I was able to assure her nothing bad was going on, and she agreed not to throw Will out.

It was almost time for the breakfast trays to come around. I leaned over and kissed his neck and cheeks until he slowly began to stir. His drowsy brown eyes opened to meet mine. “Good morning,” I said.

“Morning,” he yawned. He stretched his arms over his head. “Ow!”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve gotta hell of a crick in my neck,” he replied.

“Sorry.”

Will stopped rubbing his neck to smile down at me. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Besides the neck, did you sleep okay?” I asked.

“Actually I did.” He laughed. “Did you know you’ve got the cutest little snores?”

My eyes widened. “I do not!”

“Yeah, you’re right. You sound more like a bear.”

I laughed. “Stop teasing me,” I half-heartedly commanded, running my fingers through his bed hair.

We lay there staring into each others eyes until I finally asked, “So what happens now?”

He sighed. “I wish I knew.”

I traced my finger over the stripes on his shirt. “So does everyone at school…”

“Yeah, they know it really happened,” Will replied.

I jerked straight up in the bed. “Oh no,” I moaned. An icy fear washed over me. How could I ever face them? How could I ever stand before the girls on my team as liar who bent the truth to save her own self?

“They understand why you lied, Mel,” he said, as if he were able to read my thoughts.

“All of them do?” In truth, I wouldn’t have been too surprised to have one or two who doubted my story. I mean, Coach T had been a part of our lives for four years. Most of them felt about him the same way I did…at least the way I
once
did.

Will nodded. “He was your coach. You respected him, and you didn’t want to see him get into trouble.”

“That’s true,” I murmured.

“And…”

I raised my eyebrows. “And what?”

“He was…my father.”

I nodded. “Yes, he
is
.”

Will’s eyes darkened. “He’s not my father anymore, Mel. Not after what he did to you, not after he told me the vicious things he did—just to hurt me and run you down.” He shook his head. “No, he’s dead to me.”

I decided not to argue the point with him. I figured that was something Dr. Leighton could unearth in one of our sessions. “What about your mom?”

“She filed for divorce the day she found out about you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. They’d already been fighting before any of this happened. I guess, they hadn’t been happy for a long time. Maybe that’s why he hooked up with Jordan.”

When Will mentioned Jordan’s name, it was the first time I’d thought of her in a long time. I guess I was too wrapped up in my own drama to consider her. “So what’s happened with Jordan?”

Will shrugged. “I don’t know exactly. There was this whole drama of Carson Ridings coming to school and beating her up. She withdrew from Newton, but no one really knows where she went. Somebody said they thought she was going to St. Catherine’s. She’s probably heard what happened to you by now.”

My chest tightened. “She already knew,” I replied.

“What?”

“Jordan confronted me in the bathrooms the day she came back.”

Will leaned forward. “About what?” Since I didn’t know how to mention the underwear, I remained silent. “Melanie?” he prompted.

Closing my eyes, I finally said, “S-She found my panties in the futon cushions in your dad’s office.”

A cross between a growl and a cry erupted from the back of Will’s throat, but I continued on. “At first, she thought I had…that I was having an affair with him.” I shook my head. “And then somehow she knew the truth.”

“So that’s why she initially told the investigators that you were a victim too?”

I nodded.

“Damn.”

The rattling of the breakfast trays coming around interrupted us. When I opened the lid, I wrinkled my nose. I didn’t have much of an appetite, which was good since the food tasted terrible. “Wanna help me eat this?” I asked Will.

He nodded. After we finished, Will glanced over at me. “Want me to stay until your parents get here?”

“I’d like that.”

He smiled. “Then I’ll stay.”