Never Again Once More (14 page)

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Authors: Mary B. Morrison

BOOK: Never Again Once More
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The first time he’d spotted Maxine had been on the beach. She wore a banana-colored lace dress down to her ankles. The bottom of her dress was covered with sand. His mother used to wear lengthy dresses, but hers had splits. Not Maxine’s. He liked her sense of purity. As he moved closer, he noticed the teddy bear toe ring was cute. The red, black, and green wristband didn’t match. “Why are you ruining such a beautiful dress?” She replied, “Beauty comes from within here, here, and here,” touching his head, heart, and hands. She always strolled alone, so eventually he started joining her. As he got to know her, he learned she was a virgin. That was ninth grade. He wanted to be Maxine’s first, but his promiscuity pushed her into Rodney’s arms.
“Just like that, Darius. I don’t think so,” Maxine said now, ennunciating each word. “I’ve earned this ring, and I’m keeping it.”
Yes! “You think so, huh.” Darius paused and rubbed his mouth. “Damn, boo, you look good. Stop being so ugly. It’s ruining my birthday.” Darius pulled Maxine into him. Rodney was a chump. Square. Boring. That was why he took Maxine away from him. Surely she wouldn’t creep back to that loser. “Stay the night here with me. We’re having a family brunch on the patio in the morning. My Dear is cooking, so you know we’re going to chow down,” Darius said, chewing like a robot. Maxine laughed, so he held her tighter. “I like your new style, boo.”
Lifting Maxine’s chin, he tilted her head back. His lips softly pressed against hers. For a split second he thought about Kimberly. Kimberly would wait. Maxine would, too, but she was with him at the moment. Like the flavor of kettle popcorn, their sweet tongues tasted Maxine’s salty tears.
He didn’t like hurting her. It wasn’t the first time and definitely wouldn’t be his last. Sex with more than one woman was something he had to have. Why? Darius didn’t understand. Maybe he’d gotten his insatiable hunger from his mother. When he lived at home, he heard them having sex almost every night. The more he tried to deny it, avoid it, suppress it, the more ferocious his appetite became. Darius craved women. Black. German. Latino. Tall. Short. Gorgeous. Average-looking. Fine. Healthy. It didn’t matter. The main requirement was that they were hygienically in touch. But leaving Maxine was out of the question. The only other women he trusted were all related to him.
“Let’s go to my room.” Hunger lusted in his eyes. He needed to hold her and to sex her like never before.
“I’m not staying the night. I don’t have a change of clothes,” Maxine said.
Ignoring Maxine, he carried her to his bedroom and then handed her a bath towel and washcloth. “Shower without me. I’ll be right back.” Darius roamed through the house. No one was in sight. He went to the kitchen, opened the freezer, retrieved a bag of frozen mixed fruit and put the package in the microwave for fifteen seconds to remove the frost. Then he emptied the bag into a bowl and scurried to his room. He’d talk with his dad tomorrow.
“Make yourself comfortable.” Darius tossed the universal remote on his bed as Maxine used his towel as a wraparound. He placed the bowl on top of a magazine that was lying on his polished nightstand. Darius showered, allowing the hot, steamy water to pulsate against his muscles. Lathering his cloth each time, he thoroughly cleaned his penis and the crack of his ass three times, stepped out of the shower, and tiptoed into the bedroom.
Sucking Maxine’s butt cheek hard enough to leave a mark, with a click of a few buttons on the remote he switched to his musical mix for making love: Maxwell, Joe, Luther, and Kenny G. “So, you forgive me?” Before she could answer, Darius covered her mouth with his. His tongue journeyed down to her collarbone and traced the outline, leaving a necklace of moisture. Picking up a slice of frozen peach with his teeth, he followed the wetness. Slipping three blueberries into his mouth, he juggled the coolness about her nipple. Gently alternating between biting her nipple and the fruit, syrupy juices escaped.
Reaching for the raspberries, Darius place three under his tongue and one inside Maxine’s navel, which he’d retrieve later.
“Um, ooh, ah,” Maxine groaned and moaned, occasionally squirming.
He rotated her other erect nipple under his tongue until the raspberry seeds popped out; then he massaged the grittiness into her breast. Bypassing her belly button, he selected a strawberry from the dish, moistened it with saliva so it wouldn’t stick, then spread Maxine’s legs. Tracing the outer vaginal lips, first with the fruit, then with his tongue, he continued to her inner lips, surrounding her hymen. Chewing the strawberry, he released the liquid stream as it rolled over her clit, and down between her cheeks. Darius teased her rectum, slowly circling the entry and flicking his tongue above and below her opening. Retrieving the chilled banana, Darius put the tip in her vagina while flipping the man in the boat on his head until Maxine gasped for air.
“Just let it flow, boo. How ya’ feeling?” Darius said.
“Weird. Like I’m going to go into convulsions,” Maxine said. The sheet was crinkled between her fingers.
Darius paused, placed his hand on her heart, and said, “Relax. Take a deep breath and release the sheets.” Once Maxine was tension free, he continued.
Replacing the banana with the real thing, Darius moved like a worm, slowly working himself in and out of Maxine until he exploded with the force of a car backfiring. Maxine’s scream startled him. Quickly, he muffled her with a pillow. Her body trembled uncontrollably.
“Something’s wrong with me,” Maxine cried.
“You’re fine, boo. You just experienced your first major orgasm. Freaked me out, too, the first time. But the wet side of the bed is yours tonight. You earned it.” Partly satisfied, Darius slurped the smashed raspberry from Maxine’s navel. Finally, Maxine had the big one. Now he knew she was hooked for life.
“No, it’s not my side. Take me home.”
“Now? You’ve got to be kidding. Woman, lie next to me. Wait until the morning.” Darius lay on top of the comforter and tucked the pillow behind his head. With Maxine’s head on his chest, his limp penis rested on his stomach as he fell asleep in his favorite position, on his back.
Chapter 18
W
ithout opening her eyes, Jada eased her foot over to Lawrence’s side of the bed. The farther she stretched, her leg remained sandwiched between the silk sheets. Realizing she heard running water in his bathroom, she dashed to hers. Brushed her teeth. Washed thoroughly. Put a streak of perfume in between her cleavage and slipped back under the covers. If he hurried, Jada could make love to her husband before helping her mother prepare brunch.
Lawrence walked in wearing an animal print towel that covered what she wanted to see most. “Come here for a minute, honey.” Jada tossed the sheet back and spread open her arms and legs. As handsome as the day they married, Lawrence smiled and flashed her, opening his towel, then dropping it to the floor. His penis swung like a pendulum. Jada rocked on her knees as if she were horseback riding. Patting his side of the bed, she said, “Lie down.” As soon as Lawrence assumed the position, she mounted him.
“You know you want it, so take it,” Lawrence said, grabbing her breasts.
The rougher he got, the faster she rode. Lawrence slapped her cheeks together. While she galloped, he bucked, spanking her ass. Almost throwing her out of the saddle, he held her hips, but didn’t lessen the pace.
“You the man. Bring it on. Keep up with me now. Ah, yeah.” Jada laughed. Grabbing his hand with her superpowers turned on, she locked his fingers so tight his knuckles cracked. Then she stuffed her mouth with a pillow to silence her screaming. The big one was right around the corner.
Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!
“What the shit?” Jada said as Lawrence sat up.
“Mom! Come quick! Something’s wrong with My Dear! She’s not breathing!”
Bam! Bam!
“Mama! Open the door!” Darius yelled.
Jada jumped off Lawrence, raced to her closet, and snatched her robe. The hanger fell to the floor.
God, please let Mama be well.
When she unlocked the knob, Darius was pacing back and forth, holding his head.
“Lawrence, take care of Darius!” Jada sprinted down the hallway past the four rooms that separated her from her mother. She heard footsteps on her heels, but didn’t turn around.
Racing in, Jada felt for a pulse. She checked repeatedly.
“Oh, my God! Mama! Wake up!” Jada frantically shook her mother. “Please, Mama, wake up! Lord, this can’t be happening. Please! Mama! Please!” Jada screamed as the tears poured down her chocolate cheeks.
“Where’s Wellington! He knows CPR. Darius, go get your father!”
“I already called him.” Stepping out of the room, Darius said, “He’s coming right now. Dad! Hurry!”
Wellington entered the room ahead of Jazzmyne and said, “What’s wrong?”
“Mama’s not breathing! Help her!” Jada pleaded.
Wellington placed his ear next to Mama’s nose. He pressed his fingers behind her ear. He began performing CPR while Jazzmyne picked up the phone.
Repeating Wellington’s comments, Jazzmyne said, “No. She’s not breathing, and she doesn’t have a pulse.”
Jada shouted, “Stop asking so many questions and just send the god damn ambulance!”
“They’re on their way,” Jazzmyne calmly responded.
Mama was lying with her eyes wide open, but not responding. Wellington alternated between mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and hand compressions to Mama’s chest.
“I can’t watch My Dear like this.” Darius stormed out of the room, crying.
Reaching for the sheet, Wellington covered Mama’s face. Then he embraced Jada and said, “The angels have taken her home. I don’t think this was by accident. I think your mother was ready.”
Pulling away, Jada said, “Try to save her! Keep trying!” Her fists pounded on Wellington’s chest so hard his robe came untied. “Don’t stop! You saved Cynthia! And she deserved to die! Save my mother! Please! Lord! Please! Don’t take my mama.” Jada slid out of Wellington’s arms and slumped into the corner.
Kneeling before her, Lawrence said, “Baby, I’m here for you.”
“Please. Just leave me alone,” Jada whispered, pushing Lawrence away. Why now? Why Mama? She was supposed to live to see at least one hundred.
Wellington eased to the floor and rocked Jada in his arms. She struggled to free herself, but he wouldn’t let go. “Everything must change,” Wellington said softly. “We are
all
born to die. It’s inevitable. Jada, your mother lived a wonderful life. She loves you the same as she always has. Unconditionally.”
Jada wanted to confess to Wellington how she still loved him unconditionally. Instead of speaking the words, Jada decided it was time for her to show her soul mate that even though twenty years had passed, she still felt the same. Wellington continued holding her in his arms, and she let him.
“I’ll go outside and wait for the ambulance,” Lawrence said as he quietly exited the room.
“I’ll go with you,” Jazzmyne said.
Shortly afterward, the paramedics moved in quickly. Jazzmyne and Lawrence came with them, but not Darius.
“I’m sorry,” the heavy white man said.
“Try again!” Jada shouted.
“We’re sorry, ma’am,” the tall, skinny black man said. “We’ve done all we can.” He proceeded to help his assistant.
When the white sheet went over Mama’s head a second time, Jada screamed. Turning her back, she couldn’t watch those strange men take Mama away. Darius stood in the doorway with tears pouring down his face. His eyes were beet red. Heavy heaves and sighs frequently escaped his shivering lips. Darius tugged aimlessly on his dreadlocks.
“I’ll always be here for both of you,” Wellington assured Jada with a tight embrace and gestured for Darius to come to him. “We will make it through this. I’m here for you.” He kissed Jada on the forehead. “And you.” Wellington kissed his son’s forehead, too. He hugged Jada and Darius and prayed. “Heavenly Father—”
Jada jumped up from the floor. “I have to go with my mother to the hospital. The ambulance is leaving!” She ran as fast as she could and darted outside. Jazzmyne was standing in the driveway with Lawrence.
“Where’s the ambulance! Where’s my mother! Where’d they take her? She’s gone, isn’t she? Nooooooo!” Jada screamed and cried.
Jazzmyne comforted her, and Jada’s thoughts shifted from her mother’s death and plunged into the depths of her soul. Suddenly, she felt alone. Frightened. Lonely. Maybe when Darius and Maxine married they would bless her with lots of grandbabies, at least three, and she’d protect them just like her mother had guarded Darius.
Jada’s hands became clammy. Was this the green light she’d prayed for? All these years she’d helped hundreds of thousands of people better themselves and their communities. What about herself? Her son? The time had come for Darius to know his real father.
Chapter 19
L
ess than twenty-four hours had elapsed since her mother’s death. Ruby Denise Tanner was pronounced dead at 10:10 Saturday morning. Insomnia invaded Jada’s body, since the paramedics left their house. Short naps and lots of liquids fueled minimal energy. There wasn’t much Lawrence could do to console her, so the few moments he was home, he slept or watched television. He mentioned something about not dealing with the pressure, because if his mother went before him, he couldn’t handle the pain. Jada knew the truth was he resented Wellington.
Wellington stayed all day Saturday and into Sunday morning. His presence upset Lawrence so much, Lawrence finally said, “If you don’t ask him to leave right now, I’ll tell him, and trust me, neither of you will like my approach.”
Understandably, Jada told Wellington, “I really appreciate your compassion. I need to get some rest, so if you don’t mind, please leave and I’ll call you later.”
Lawrence’s mild-mannered personality was one of the things Jada admired most. Easy going. He didn’t believe in arguing off the job, and clearly, Wellington’s presence had tested his limits. In Lawrence’s opinion, every situation had a logical solution. Easy for him, both of his parents were alive. Lawrence had two older brothers and two younger sisters. Why was it that the middle child always seemed well balanced when an only child appeared the opposite?
Wellington assured her, “I’m just a phone call away.”
“Thanks.” Jada stood in the doorway.
As Wellington drove off, daybreak had arrived. Knowing she’d toss and turn if she crawled into bed, Jada showered, slipped into her sweats, and drove aimlessly. Not caring about her destination, she accelerated to twenty-five miles per hour as if driving through a school zone. Sitting at corners where there weren’t any stop signs, and driving through intersections when the red octagon symbol was clearly displayed, she crept along.
Honking his horn, an irate driver shouted, “If you can’t drive it, park it, lady!”
What was his malfunction? Parking her car near Colorado Avenue, she somberly moseyed across the Santa Monica pedestrian bridge. The dawn atmosphere was serene. Bypassing the Ferris wheel, she watched as a few fishermen were baiting poles while other lines already tossed in the water waited for something to bite. The cop shop was quiet. The restaurant was closed, and no one was lingering at the end of the pier. Mama was her best friend. Her sister. Her brother. Her father after Daddy died. Jada had a million things to do, but every single one would wait.
Jada dusted off her yellow hooded jogging suit. Her head throbbed, so she removed her L.A. Lakers cap. As she kneaded her temples, she heard, “Let me do that for you.”
There was no need to turn around as she had on her wedding day. Wellington knew the pier was where she cleared her mind. Jada fast-forwarded the video in her head of the night they met. She must have played it a thousand times. Particularly when the floral delivery person showed up at her office like clockwork every Friday with sixteen red roses and one yellow. Initially, the arrangements were sent to her home, but after she married, Wellington had them delivered to her job.
As Wellington took her cap and softly stroked her hair, Jada imagined, “That’s not the only thing you can do for me.” Her mother’s death didn’t seem real. Jada closed her eyes. Maybe the feelings of her wanting Wellington weren’t real either. Who was she fooling? As ideal as her life had been, it still wasn’t complete. If she confessed she’d lived a lie, that would be closer to the truth. She had a wonderful husband and the world’s greatest son. Jada slowly turned toward Wellington. Taking her cap, she folded the brim until the sides overlapped; then she pierced her gaze into Wellington’s eyes. Noticing his bared the same emptiness as hers, Jada clenched her hands which had become clammy.
“What’s it all about?” Jada asked.
“What?” Wellington replied, as he gave her his undivided attention.
“Life. What’s life all about? Why are we really here? What’s our purpose? Where’s my mother? My father?” She didn’t care if he answered.
“You know, sometimes I wonder the exact same thing.” Wellington took Jada’s hat, placed it on his bald head, and gazed out over the water. The waves gently splashed against the posts.
The smell of the ocean reminded Jada of their first date in Carmel when Wellington chased her along the beach. “Death has a way of making you reevaluate your life,” Jada said. “It’s a reality you never experience until someone you love checks out. Now that my mother is gone, I feel alone. My mother and father loved me unconditionally, and that kept me strong. I have that same love for Darius, but what about me? Who’s gonna love me for me?” Jada sighed. Tears began to fall. She turned away from Wellington, placed her elbows on the rail, and nervously squeezed her wet hands as though she’d applied too much lotion.
Wellington repositioned himself directly behind her. He placed his left leg next to hers. Propped his right leg upon the bottom plank. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. I’ve always loved you unconditionally, and I always will. If you hadn’t left me, we’d still be together.” Wellington eased Jada’s hands into his and rubbed passionately.
Thinking he would comment regarding the sweat, she waited. After he didn’t, Jada said, “There’s so many things I have to do to make my life right before I die.” She inhaled deeply and blew it out through her mouth as if smoking a cigarette. Jada watched the fog disperse into the coolness of the air. November this year seemed colder than any other.
“Speaking of Darius, I’ve decided to let him run the office by himself for the next two days. Until we leave for the funeral.”
“We weren’t talking about Darius,” Wellington said. “But since you brought up his name. What in the world were you thinking about promoting that boy to CEO and VP? Darius is not ready to handle the responsibility.”
“Please, not now. Darius will do well. I’m training him, and I’m going to send him to management classes.” The truth: Jada would have done anything to keep Darius from completing another semester at Georgetown with Darryl. So she’d offered Darius a salary no one else would pay him, and promised if he did well, one day he’d become CEO. This was not the time for a declaration of guilt. She felt depressed and nauseated. But there was one confession she could make to change the subject.
“Wellington, I’m still in love with you.” When Jada looked down into the water, she saw a blinding glaze. A mirage of her best friend Candice’s face appeared with a frown. Jada could hear Candice protest. “Don’t do it, girlfriend. After all these years you haven’t learned.” Losing her mother taught Jada that there was no lesson for loving someone unconditionally. Would she leave this earth never reuniting with her soul mate? Damn, he was standing right upon her ass, and married or not, it felt natural.
“Diamond.” Wellington lifted her hair, and held it against his face.
“Yes,” Jada replied.
“Do you know what two things worry me the most when it comes to women?”
Jada remained silent. She opened Wellington’s left hand and began to trace his lifeline.
“One is letting down my guard and falling completely for someone who’ll abandon me. The other is dying alone, and I don’t mean lonely. It doesn’t matter if the relationship isn’t perfect. I’m not getting any younger, and I don’t want to die a single man. I mean, what if no one knows I’m dead in my house for days? Or if I get killed in an accident, they find my driver’s license and have to search for my next of kin? Even worse, what if I take ill or need surgery?” Wellington squeezed Jada’s hands. “It hurt me so bad when you moved away. But I had to let you go. And every day I prayed you’d come back. And guess what. Now that I’m almost fifty-five, I’m still hoping. I know you’re married and Lawrence is a wonderful guy, but I can’t help the way I feel about you. I felt so
stupid
that I fell into Melanie’s trap. After Melanie and I divorced, I thought if I didn’t marry you, I wouldn’t marry anyone. Then Simone taught me how to love again. I love her with all my heart.”
Jada’s fingers contracted. Her eyes narrowed. She felt the hairs on her nape rise. After all these years, she cringed whenever she heard anyone speak of Melanie. Jada hadn’t seen Melanie in almost fifteen years. Their sex triangle was Jada’s first and her last. Daddy used to say, “If a baby put his hand in the fire and gets burned, that’s okay, because the baby has to learn the fire is hot. But if the baby put his hand in the fire a second time, something is wrong with that baby.”
Wellington turned her around, pulled her in close, licked his lips, and passionately kissed her. She didn’t resist. Then he looked into her eyes and said, “Diamond. You are the only woman I have ever totally loved with my mind, heart, and soul.”
Suddenly Jada leaned over the rail and regurgitated air several times. Then she gasped for oxygen. Her thoughts reverted to her mother. The temporary escape from reality helped because as soon as her thoughts shifted, her chest became tight like something had squeezed out the blood. She felt her stomach balled up in knots so strong Wellington had to break her fall.

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