Never Close Enough (12 page)

 
  “So, you broke up with Kyle on Friday and by Saturday you were having drinks with Porter?  Ella, don’t you think that’s a little soon?”  Ella sighed loudly.  This is what she was afraid of, the judgment.  She could tell Megan thought it was too soon and, by all socially acceptable timetables, 48 hours was too soon to go on a date after a breakup. 

 
  “I know it seems rushed.”

 
  “Uh, a little,” Megan said sarcastically.

 
  “But my break up with Kyle has nothing to do with Porter.  It’s hard to describe the finality I felt with Kyle.  It was over.  I was upset, sure, but I didn’t feel the level of devastation you would expect.  I think I was checked out of that relationship a while ago.  That sounds terrible.” This wasn’t going well.

 
  “Yeah, ok.  So you’re saying that this wasn’t just a rebound?  You didn’t go out with Porter just because you were feeling sorry for yourself?”

 
  “Exactly.  I went out with Porter, at first, because I thought I was entitled to go out if I wanted to.  I had no attachments.  But I can’t really explain what happened.  It turned into something more.”

 
  “How much more?”

 
  Ella cringed. 

 
  “You slept with him!” Megan practically shouted.

 
  “Hush!  His mom is here!”  Ella looked around, but she didn’t see Tilly and she let out a relieved breath.

 
  “Oh my god, Ella!  I can’t believe you slept with him already!”

 
  “I didn’t plan on it.  I mean, honestly, you saw him, right?  What woman wouldn’t want to sleep with him?  Besides, it was special circumstances.”

 
  “Uh huh.  Special circumstances, my ass!  This is all very scandalous, Ella,” she said as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

 
  Ella frowned.  She didn’t feel like it was scandalous.  She felt like it was exciting, warm, romantic, and totally hot. 

   “I don’t know what to tell you. He and I are both adults and we want to see each other regardless of when my last relationship ended.
  It’s not as sordid as you’d imagine.”

 
  Megan was quiet for a few moments and seemed to gain a little composure.  Ella could almost see the wheels spinning in her head.  “Was it weird being with someone other than Kyle?”  The question caught her off guard and she gave in to a little blush.  She tried her best to maintain a cool and collected composure, but it was difficult with all the sexy images running through her mind.

 
  “It was different.”

 
  “Oh, come on, Ella.  We’re supposed to be bonding here.  Give up the details, Woman.”

 
  “Ok, ok.  Well,” Ella began, “it wasn’t weird.  I mean, it was a little nerve-wracking at first.  I had been with Kyle forever and I was so use to the way we had sex.” Ella looked around again and made sure her voice was low.  She did not need Tilly overhearing this conversation.  “When Kyle and I were together, it was never really about being
together
.  It was mostly about him. I was fine with that because, well, I guess I figured that was what it was supposed to be like.  I haven’t been with a whole lot of men, but they were all pretty much the same.  They did obligatory things, you know, to get me going, but then it was just about them.”  Ella paused and got caught up in another memory of their night together, the way he seemed so focused on her and how he seemed to enjoy having sex
with
her, not just having sex.  “He just seemed so into me, that’s all.  It was really sexy.”

 
  “Do you think he’s, like,
into you
into you?”  Ella laughed at how all of a sudden they both sounded like hormone driven teenagers.

 
  “I think it’s fair to say that he’s interested.  I mean, he just dragged me into that broom closet over there to make out with him,” she said with a huge grin, gesturing towards the bathroom hallway.

 
  “What? When?  You little sneak.  You’re naughty, Ella.”  Ella laughed at her sister’s reaction just as Tilly set down their salads on the table.

 
  “You girls sure do seem to be enjoying yourselves.  What’s got you laughing so much?”  Megan almost did a spit-take with her beer and Ella managed to maintain control enough to answer Tilly with the first lie that came to mind.

 
  “Oh, we were just talking about this funny movie we love.”  Tilly put her hand on Ella’s shoulder and gave it a little rub.

 
  “It’s so good to see two sisters getting along with each other and laughing.  You enjoy your dinner now and let us know if you need anything else, Honey.”

 
  “Thanks, Tilly.”

 
  They spent the rest of their dinner talking mostly about Porter.  Ella was glad that her sister seemed to get past the fact that there was no turnaround time between men.  She loved Megan, but she was done justifying her actions to her or to anyone.  She wanted to continue to see Porter and just go wherever she was lead. 

   Dinner was great.  Porter was right when he said the
blackberry cobbler was amazing.  Ella hadn’t remembered anything tasting that good.  She and Megan had a few more beers, then decided to go rent some movies and head back to the house to begin the movie marathon.  When they walked in the door, Ella headed up the stairs to change into some comfy pajamas.

 
   “Megan, pick a movie and I will pop some popcorn after I change.”  Ella put on her favorite pair of pajama shorts and a strappy tank top.  She headed to the bathroom to take off her makeup, and heard her phone vibrating in her purse.  When she finally found it her phone, she saw she had a text from Porter.  She immediately smiled and sat down on the edge of her bed.

**
I hope you made it home alright from the bar.**

**We did.  Thank you for your concern.  What are you up to?**

**Not much.  Out in the shop working on the boat, trying to keep my mind occupied.  I seem to be having a hard time controlling my thoughts today.  They just keep wandering back to you**

   Ella didn’t have a ton of dating experience, but she was pretty sure that men weren’t usually this forthcoming when it came to their feelings.  He seemed totally sincere.  She believed he was being truthful about his feelings for her, but it was hardwired in her to play hard to get.  Isn’t that how it was supposed to go?  He was supposed to be removed and aloof, and she was supposed to be coy and somewhat unavailable.  Instead he was sweet and present, without being overbearing.  He was just the right amount of everything.

**Well, the feeling is mutual.  Trust me.  By the way, the cat is out of the bag with my sister.  She saw us eyeing each other when you left and, it turns out, I am a terrible liar.**

**How do you feel about her knowing?  What did she have to say about everything?**

**I am fine with it.  In fact, I was glad to be able to talk to her about it. She was a little concerned at first, for obvious reasons, but I just asked her not to tell our parents.  I haven’t told them about Kyle yet, and I really don’t want them to find out about everything over the phone.**

   Ella sent the text, and hoped he wouldn’t feel like she was ashamed of their seeing each other.  She was put in a really tricky situation and was doing her best to deal with it in a way that satisfied everyone’s needs.  But she knew telling her parents over the phone that she had broken up with her boyfriend of four years and started seeing someone new in the span of two days wasn’t a great idea.

**I understand.  Are you still feeling comfortable with everything going on between us?**

  
Ella sighed and smiled.  Of course Porter would be more concerned with her feelings than anything else.

**Yes.  I am very comfortable, thank you.  I had better get back to my sister.  I will see you tomorrow.**

**Goodnight Ella.**

Porter

 
  Porter came in the back door and headed straight for the fridge to grab a beer.  He had spent the majority of the evening working in his shop and he was covered in dust from his electric sander.  He had been happy for the distraction, as most of his thoughts today had been straying to Ella and the night they’d spent together.  He’d admit that running into her and her sister at the waterfront was a coincidence, but he had a feeling she would go to the bar for dinner and couldn’t stop himself from trying to see her there as well.  It was almost painful when he couldn’t touch her at the waterfront.  He knew she would be uncomfortable with that in front of her sister, so he’d respected her boundaries.  When he saw her in the bar, however, there was no question that he needed to feel her in his arms, and was glad that she had wanted to be near him too.  Even a situation less than romantic, and sort of comical, he felt like everything was simply better when they were together.

 
  He looked at his watch and thought that maybe she had made it home from the bar.  He felt the urge to make sure she’d arrived home safely.  He decided to text her just to be sure.

**
I hope you made it home alright from the bar.**

**We did.  Thank you for your concern.  What are you up to?**

**Not much.  Out in the shop working on the boat, trying to keep my mind occupied.  I seem to be having a hard time controlling my thoughts today.  They just keep wandering back to you**

**Well, the feeling is mutual.  Trust me.  By the way, the cat is out of the bag with my sister.  She saw us eyeing each other when you left and, it turns out, I am a terrible liar.**

   It didn’t matter to Porter who knew that they were together.  Although, if his mother found out it would be more annoying than upsetting, only because she would never let up on him about Ella. 

**How do you feel about her knowing?  What did she have to say about everything?**

**I am fine with it.  In fact, I was glad to be able to talk to her about it. She was a little concerned at first, for obvious reasons, but I just asked her not to tell our parents.  I haven’t told them about Kyle yet, and I really don’t want them to find out about everything over the phone.**

   Porter knew that Ella was having a hard time making sense of what was happening between them, trying to rationalize jumping into another relationship so quickly.  Porter felt the transition for him had been easy.  He felt a pull towards Ella and besides her hesitation, there were no obstacles for him.  He had wanted her, and luckily for him, she seemed to reciprocate.  But he could appreciate that it would be difficult for her to explain everything to her parents, and even her sister.  He wanted to make sure Ella knew that he wasn’t pushing her into anything and that he could wait as long as she needed for her to explain things to her family.  It was a non-issue.  The last thing he wanted was her feeling uneasy about something he viewed as so trivial and unimportant.

**I understand.  Are you still feeling comfortable with everything going on between us?**

**Yes.  I am very comfortable, thank you.  I had better get back to my sister.  I will see you tomorrow.**

**Goodnight Ella.**

   He took another pull from his beer.  The thought of going back up to his bedroom and trying to sleep in his bed without Ella in it made Porter grumpy, but there was nothing to be done about it.  He decided he should shower to wash the dirt and grime from the day away.  He also decided it should be a cold shower, if only to make it easier to sleep in an empty bed that, undoubtedly, still smelled like vanilla and Ella.

Chapter Fourteen

Ella

   Megan and Ella had spent the night in true sisterly-bonding fashion, painting their nails and doing homemade facials made from ingredients from the refrigerator.  They watched horror movies and screamed at the scary parts, ate entirely too much junk food, and got more than a little tipsy on cheap girly wine.  When they had finally made it to bed, it was past two a.m.  Ella was still a little drunk and found herself wondering what Porter was doing.  She thought he was probably sleeping, but decided that she wanted to tell him sweet dreams. 

   She sat up in her bed groping around on the bedside table for her phone.  When
she found it she looked through her contacts until she found Porter’s name.  She took just a moment to wonder if this could possibly be a bad idea, but her slushy mind told her it was totally cool, so she hit send.  The phone started ringing on the other end and she almost hung up, but thought maybe she could leave a message if he didn’t pick up.

   Just as she’d flopped back down on her pillows, she heard the other line pick up.  She heard a man grumble something but she couldn’t really understand him.  I
t made her giggle a little to think of Porter answering his phone while still sleeping.

   “Ella?  Is that you?  Are you ok?”  She smiled thinking Porter was worried about her.

   “I’m more then ok, Porter.  I just felt like calling you to say goodnight and sweet dreams.  Were you sleeping?”

   “Mmmm.  I was.  But I am more than happy to wake up and talk to you.”  She could hear him groaning, imagining him stretching in his bed.  She wondered if he had a shirt on.  “Did you have a good night with your siste
r?” 

   “Yes, sir, we did.  We watched scary movies and ate too much.  It was awesome.”

   “Scary movies?  Aren’t girls supposed to watch romantic comedies at sleepovers?”

   “Traditionally, yes, but we decided I’ve got too much romantic drama going on
and that we should stay away from those.  Besides, I’ve gotten enough romance out of you in the last two days; I don’t need to watch any girly movies.”

   “Glad I could be of service,” he laughed.  “Have you been drinking?”

   “What kind of sister would I be if I didn’t provide the wine?”

   “I’m not sure.  I’ve never had a sister.  So what are you doing now?”

   “I am just lying in bed, thinking about you.”  She smacked her hand over her mouth, embarrassed that the filter between her brain and her mouth was drunk too.

   “Well, this conversation just got a lot more interesting,” he said and she could hear his smirk.

   “What I meant to say was that I was going to bed and I wanted to tell you goodnight and sweet dreams.”

   “Damn, I liked the first version b
etter.”

   “Well, how fair would it be if I was sitting here thinking of you in bed and you weren’t thinking about me?  I am an equal opportunity fantasizer.”  The last word of her sentence came out a little slurred and she giggled again.

   “If you had called me two hours ago, we’d have been on the same page, Babe.  But I don’t have anything going on right now, if you’d like to arrange something.”  His voice was low and gravelly, and ridiculously sexy.

   “What is it you’re trying to suggest, Babe?”  She e
mphasized “Babe”, hoping he would pick up on the fact that she really liked it when he called her that.

   “I’m simply suggesting that if you wanted to have a conversation with me that involved fantasies, I’m game.”  Ella was shy all of a sudden, not reall
y sure she was sober enough for this conversation. 

   “Have you had fantasies about me, Porter?” she asked quietly.

   “Ella, since the first night I met you I’ve had nothing
but
fantasies about you,” he paused and she smiled breathing in slowly, feeling the familiar cinching of the muscles in her core.  “But nothing I’ve imagined even comes close to what it was like actually making love to you.”  The dizzy feeling she had become accustomed to whenever Porter was involved began to take over.  He had a way of saying the most romantic things that caught her completely off guard.  She was usually so busy recovering from whatever sweetness he’s said to her she never had a chance to tell him how she was feeling.

   “I didn’t want you to go,” she whispered.

   “What?” he sounded confused.

   “Earlier tonight, at the bar, I didn’t want you to go.  I wanted you to stay.  I wanted you to stay with me.  I know I needed to be with my sister and spend some time with her, but I really just wanted to be with you.”

   “Well, that makes two of us, but it wouldn’t have been fair to Megan.  We can see each other tomorrow, just the two of us.”

   “Ok.  What would you like for dinner?”

   “Hmm. Are you on the menu?”

   “Smooth, Porter,” she said sardonically.

   “Hey, they can’t all be winners.  Seriously though, I’m not picky.”

   “Fine, I will surprise you.”

   “You already surprise me, Ella,” Porter said, suddenly quiet and soft.  It made her heart rate spike all over again.  “You show up out of nowhere, literally storming into my life, and all of a sudden everything is different, better.  Do you know how miraculous that is?”

   “I feel it too, the better part.  You make everything better,” Ella giggled softly.  “Besides literally fixing everything for me, I feel happier than
I can ever remember.”

   “I guess I should let you go to bed. I am going to have a hell of a time trying to fall back asleep after this,” he laughed.

   “I’m sorry.  I promise I won’t drunk dial you again.”

   “Yes, you will, and I will gladly answer the p
hone every time.  Goodnight, Ella, sweet dreams.”

   “Goodnight, Porter, see you tomorrow.”  She heard his end of the line go dead.  She smiled and gave herself a satisfied squeeze.  He was so damn cute.  She felt the wine start to take her under and she f
ell asleep smiling, thinking about Porter.

   The next morning, after doling out doses of Advil for both herself and Megan to combat their hangovers, she helped Megan load her car.  She stood next to the driver’s side door and Megan turned back to her.

  “Thank you for driving all the way out here to see me.”

   “That’s what sisters are for.  Although, I thought I would be here to help dry your tears, but you seem to be doing ok,” she said as she raised one eyebrow.

   “Yes, I will be just fine.”

   “Wel
l, here are my younger, fresher words of wisdom.  Don’t start something with Porter just because you are both available.  I totally understand why you don’t want to be with Kyle anymore, and it’s valid, but you don’t have to be with anyone right now.”

   “
I know that, Megs.  Besides, I’m not
with
him.  We’re just seeing each other. I haven’t made any promises or commitments. He’s really sweet and fun to be around, amongst other things,” she said and immediately started blushing.

   “Oh my gosh, Ella,” Megan
said rolling her eyes.  “That’s totally my cue to leave.  Enjoy the rest of your week having amazing sex with Porter!”  She quickly slid into the car, started the engine, and pulled out onto the driveway.  As she drove away Ella could see a hand waving to her out of the window.  Ella smiled and waved back.  Even with all the uncomfortable Kyle conversations and Porter confessions, she was still really glad to have spent the evening with her sister.  They didn’t spend nearly enough time together.  That was something she would rectify when she got back to Portland.

   The morning passed quickly into the afternoon, and Ella spent her time relaxing on the couch reading and napping.  She had very little opportunity to be lazy at home, working crazy hours at her
store.  So even though it felt amazing to be doing nothing, she also felt a little guilty.  Not guilty enough, however, to do anything about it.  Eventually she got a text from Porter, which was like riding an express train right back in to her excited reality.

**What time should I head over tonight?**

**Whenever works for you.  I’ve got absolutely nothing going on right now and I love it**

**6:30 sound good?**

**Sounds great!**

**Can’t wait to see you**

   A few hours later Ella had found the motivation to head to the store to buy supplies to make Porter grilled chicken alfredo.  She loved Italian food and hoped he did too.  By the time Porter arrived she had dinner under control and was just lighting the few candles she had purchased to set out around the table.  She heard his knock and there was no denying her excitement by the smile that spread across her face.

   She walked to the front door stopping at the mirror to smooth out her sheer blue blouse she had put over a navy camisole.  Her hai
r was down and wavy, and still maintaining its smoothness despite the cooking going on in the kitchen.  Satisfied with her reflection, she pulled the front door open and nearly gasped.  Porter stood on her porch looking almost edible.  He had on another pair of dark blue jeans that accentuated his glorious legs, and for a shirt, he was wearing her sexual kryptonite: a white baseball shirt with blue sleeves.  Ever since high school she had a very unusual, yet strong, attraction to men in baseball shirts.  The only sight greater than Porter standing in front of her, unintentionally fulfilling one of her long standing sexual fantasies, would be the sight of his bare chest as she peeled it off of him.  Her mouth was still slightly agape as he took a step into her house.

   “Hey,” he said and stood in front of her, cupping her face with his hand.  He bent down and laid a light kiss on her mouth, lingering for a few seconds.  “I’ve been thinking about doing that all day,” he said with a smile.  She was still having
a hard time finding any words.

   “Nice shirt,” was all she could manage.  He cocked his head to the side slightly, looking amused.

   “Thanks.”

   She opened the door wider and stepped to the side to let him in.  “I hope you like Italian.”

   “I do.  Whatever you’ve been cooking smells amazing.”  She shut the door and headed back towards the kitchen, purposefully taking deep calming breaths. 

   “Dinner is pretty much ready, if you want to sit at the table.  Would you like a glass of wine?”

   “Sure, sounds great.”

   “White ok?”

   “Definitely.”

   She brought two glasses of wine to the table setting one in front of him.  She headed back into the kitchen and returned with their plates.

   “This looks amazing.  Thank you for cooking dinner.  I’d like to say I’d return the favor, but we’ve already covered the fact that I cannot cook.”

   “Well, you haven’t tasted it yet, so don’t jump the gun.”  They both dug into their meal and she was gifted the sound of an appreciative groan from Porter.

   “My god, this is fantastic,” he said.  She smiled, glad he was enjoying his meal. 

   “So what did you do at work today?” she asked.

   “Well,” he took his napkin to wipe his mouth.  “The storm on Friday took down a pretty large tree.  It fell on a house and pretty much demolished the garage.  Luckily, no one was in the garage at the time so no one was hurt.  Anyway, my team and I went over there today to start rebuilding.  It took them a few days to get the tree removed so there was a lot of water damage from rain water getting in over the weekend.”

   “Wow, how lucky it was just their garage and not part of the house.”

   “Yes.  How was your day?  You sounded pretty tipsy last night.”

   Ella blushed, remembering their conversation from her drunken phone call to him t
he night before.

   “Sorry about that, by the way.”

   “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about; I very much enjoyed our chat,” he said grinning at her.

   “Well, I spent the day trying to recover from all the wine and did a whole lot of nothing.”  She took a
sip of her wine, enjoying the cool crispness of the white wine on her tongue.  It paired really well with the pasta.  “I can’t remember the last time I spent a whole day doing nothing.  It’s a rarity and I don’t take it for granted.”

   “Your store keeps
you pretty busy, huh?”

   “Well, at this point, I could hire someone to do what I do, but I have a hard time picturing myself doing that.  The store is my baby and the only way I could see myself spending time away from it would be if I were to open anothe
r one.”

   “That’s what you want, right?  To expand?”

   “Yes and no.  I want to open more stores and build a bigger name for myself, but it’s a really big step and it’s a little scary.  I would hate to neglect Poppy to open another store, have that store fail, and in the end lose Poppy because I wasn’t around to keep an eye on it.  It’s a slippery slope.”