Never Doubt Me (20 page)

Chapter Seventeen

Chase

W
ill’s departure from Ohio turns out to be uneventful. Sad as fuck, yes, but there’s no over-the-top drama or anything. Though, as I lie awake the morning following his departure, I reconsider. Maybe I’m missing something. After all, my brother’s behavior at the bus station has kept me from sleeping soundly.

I can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, though. I mean, Will was very loving before he boarded the bus. In fact, he was the one who initiated a good-bye hug. God knows that shit sure shocked me. Usually, when it comes to my relationship with my brother, I’m the overly emotional sap.

Not last night, though. Last night, it was Will throwing his arms around me, Will who didn’t want to let go.

“You sure you want to go back early?” I jokingly quipped.

I felt him swallow hard, and when he finally pulled back, he wiped at moist eyes.

“Yeah, bro,” he said on a sigh chock full of resignation, “I have to.”

Something felt off, and I gripped his shoulder. “Hey, talk to me.”

He shook his head. “It’s nothing, Chase.”

And then he walked away.

“Will,” I called out. When he turned around, only a few feet away, I smiled and said, “I love you, little bro. Have a safe trip back to Vegas.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. Turning away once again, he resumed walking toward the line of people boarding the bus. “Being a big brother till the end, I see.”

“You know it,” I retorted.

And then I watched as my little brother boarded the bus with the big nevada placard in the corner of the windshield.

Nevada’s so fucking far from Ohio; I hate it. Only twelve hours have elapsed since Will left, but I miss him already.

Feeling bereaved, I snuggle as close as I can to Kay, who is fast-asleep next to me.

The sun is just hitting the horizon, and like always, it bathes the bedroom in a hazy, golden glow. I glance down at Kay. My love is gorgeous in this light, all wrapped up in the crisp, new dark-blue sheets she insisted on putting on my bed. Her pale skin looks dewy and translucent, a play of the combination of bright morning light and the dark hue of the sheets.

I watch her sleep for a few more minutes, but then force myself to get out of bed before she wakes up and thinks I’m a freak for staring at her so intently. Chuckling at how crazy in love I am with this woman, I throw on a pair of gray sweatpants I find on the floor and step out into the hall.

With a slight shiver—it’s cooler in the hall than in the bedroom—I start toward the stairs, the hardwood floor creaking beneath my bare feet. I have every intention of going downstairs and making breakfast, but when I reach the room where Will was staying, I stop.

The door is closed, just like it would be if my brother were here. But he’s not, of course. Still, I close my eyes and pretend for a minute that he’s sleeping on the other side.

Unfortunately, I can’t fool myself, as I swear I
feel
the emptiness of my brother’s absence.

“Enough of this shit,” I murmur. I turn the knob and push open the stupid fucking door.

Why is Will’s departure weighing on me like this? It’s not like I’ll never see him again.

I step into the room, like I may find an answer in here, and the first thing that hits me is how much it smells like Will in here. Even with my kid brother’s stuff gone, the whole room still smells of him. Nothing gross, mostly just a clean scent. Well, maybe there’s a touch of sweaty teenage boy in there somewhere. But it’s all Will, and fuck, it reminds me that I sure do love that kid.

Rolling my eyes at myself, I shake my head and turn to leave. But just as I spin on my heels, something on the nightstand catches my eye.

It’s a folded piece of paper on an otherwise empty piece of furniture. Even the lamp that normally rests atop the nightstand has been moved to the floor. It’s almost like Will was making sure the folded piece of paper wouldn’t be missed.

“What the hell?” I mutter.
Has Will left me some kind of note?

Before I walk over to the nightstand, I notice that the folded piece of paper looks kind of old. It has a yellowed, slightly tattered appearance.

And that makes me think:
No fucking way
,
no way is that the tree house sketch. No way would my brother leave his hope behind.

But sure enough, when I race over to the nightstand and snatch up the piece of paper, unfold it, my initial fear is confirmed—Will has left behind the sketch I drew him all those years ago.

“Why would you leave it here, buddy?” I whisper.

Peering down at the sketch I drew so long ago, I find there are no answers in the lines, curves, or colors of the drawing. However, there is a Post-it note stuck to the foliage of the tree. It’s from Will—to me.

I peel away the note…

Chase, my brother and the one person in this world who I have never doubted cares for me. Yeah, I fought that knowledge for so long (as you are all too well aware), but I’m tired of fighting. I love you, bro. I always fucking have.

Anyway, this sketch belongs with you. No matter what happens to me, just know any hope I ever felt was because of you. You always tried to make things better, even when things were all fucked to hell. And in doing so, you gave me hope. In fact, you gave me your hope a long time ago, with this sketch. Well, now it’s my turn to return the favor and give it back to you.

Love, Will

I read my brother’s cryptic note again and again. His words hit me deeply. But I can’t figure out what he is trying to tell me. Why would he leave this sketch, that note? What does he think is going to happen to him that I need to know how he feels?

I don’t know, but I have a bad feeling.

I consider calling him, as I’m sure he has his cell on him. But I know if I call him while he’s traveling on a bus with a bunch of strangers, he won’t divulge a thing.

Someone, though, may have an answer—the same someone who’s been hanging out with my brother for the past couple of weeks, the same someone who made that mystery trip to Kyle Tanner’s that I never did get to the bottom of.

Yeah
, I think as I carefully place the Post-it note and the sketch back on the nightstand,
a talk with Jared is long overdue
.

I skip breakfast, take a three-minute shower, and bolt out the door before Kay is even up. I’m hoping to catch Jared before I start work. But on my way to his house, Father Maridale calls. He needs me to come to the church as soon as possible; there’s a broken pipe in the rectory. Water is everywhere.

Fuck. My. Life.

As it turns out, the broken pipe is a big deal, and I’m stuck working on that fucking mess throughout the entire morning. The only good thing is that Kay comes to work, and is right down the hall from where I’m working.

But she gets tied up, too, and we don’t have a chance to connect until lunch.

As we walk down to the diner, Kay glances over at me and says, “Okay, we’re not at work anymore. No one’s around to hear. What’s going on?”

I admit I’ve wanted to talk to her all morning about what I found in Will’s room.

“What’d you find?” she inquires worriedly.

“Not drugs,” I preface to ease her mind.

She blows out a breath, relieved. “Thank God.”

“Right. So do you remember that tree house sketch I drew for Will?”

“Yes, of course, Chase.”

I stop right in the middle of the sidewalk and drag my fingers through my hair. “Do you remember how Will brought that sketch to Ohio with him?”

She turns to face me, and then touches my arm. “I remember.”

I start to drag my hand through my hair again, but she reaches up and lowers my hand back down to my side.

“He left it here, Kay,” I say urgently. “I found the sketch in his room this morning.”

“Maybe he just wants you to have it,” she suggests as she laces our fingers together.

“I think there’s more to it than that.”

When Kay frowns, perplexed, I sigh. And then I tell her about the note that was attached to the sketch.

“That is odd,” she agrees, her voice conveying her concern. “I wonder why Will would write a note like that.”

“I don’t know, but it sounds foreboding. I think I need to talk to Jared. After all, we never did find out why he and Will stopped at Kyle’s place. And I have a feeling it has something to do with why Will wrote that note—and left it with his sketch.”

“I can go with you, if you want,” Kay offers.

Since I’d certainly rather do this with her by my side than alone, I say, “Absolutely. Let’s head over to his house after work.”

“Sound good.” She smiles up at me reassuringly. “Everything will be all right, Chase. Try not to worry too much. I bet there’s a harmless explanation.”

I know she’s trying to make me feel better, and I appreciate it. A sudden wave of absolute gratitude that Kay is always standing by my fucked-up ass washes over me.

I encircle her in my arms, lower my head, and mumble against her neck, “Thank you for doing this with me. I was on my way over to Jared’s this morning, but Father Maridale called about that broken pipe.” I sigh. “It’s probably better if you’re with me when I talk to Jared. You keep me solid.” After a pause, I whisper, “What would I do without you, baby?”

“Chase, I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.” Kay tightens her arms around my waist. “I promise.”

I know her words are spoken with truth and love. And I want her with me always, but not if it ever poses a liability for her. I long to let myself go and lean on Kay, and I do a little bit of that right now, but at the same time, I remind myself that I can never put her in any situation that might turn out to be dangerous. Kay’s well-being will always top my own emotional needs.

We stand on the sidewalk, holding one another, until a few people pass and give us some odd looks. With a chuckle, I take a step back. We break apart and walk down to the diner.

I feel better already, just knowing I’ll (hopefully) have some answers soon.

But when Kay and I return to the church grounds following lunch, I suspect the answers to the questions I have regarding Will may come sooner than expected. Jared’s sister’s car—the bright-red Jaguar—is parked in the center of the church parking lot, standing out like a beacon.

“Wonder what she’s doing here,” Kay says, nodding to the flashy Jag.

“I don’t know, but Jared’s with her.” I point to where he’s seated in the passenger seat.

“Oh,” Kay says, “huh. Wonder what he wants?”

I don’t answer. Jared sees me in the parking lot and jumps out of the car. He rushes over, waving me down. “Hey, Chase… Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Fuck, this can’t be good. Sure, I want to talk to the kid. But if he’s here at Holy Trinity of his own volition, then it can only mean one thing—Will is in some serious trouble.

“We shouldn’t stand around out here,” Kay whispers two seconds before Jared reaches us. “Maybe we should go in the church or something.”

The urgency in her voice lets me know she’s as worried as I am about what Jared may have to say.

When Jared reaches us, he nods to Kay, greeting her quickly. He then turns his full attention to me. “I asked my sister to drive me over here, since my car is, uh, out of commission. I hate to bother you at work like this.” He glances around. “But it’s kind of important that I talk with you.”

“Is it about Will?” I ask, even though I’m already certain it is.

“Yeah.” Jared nods grimly. “It’s about Will.”

Kay again suggests we move the conversation to somewhere more private than the middle of the parking lot. I agree, as does Jared, so the four of us head to the church. As we step into the vestibule, the smell of burning candles and incense permeates the very muggy air. It’s a hot day, and inside the vestibule, it feels like it might be topping one hundred degrees.

Kay fans herself with her hand, while Jared swipes at the sweat beading on his brow.

I ignore the fucking heat and get right to the point.

“So what’s going on with Will? It must be pretty fucking important for you to make a special trip like this.”

“It is important.” Jared drops his gaze and stares down at the checkered linoleum floor. He takes a deep breath, like he’s calming himself in order to continue. Maybe he is.

“Anyway,” he says at last. “There’s something I need to tell you about the morning Will and I went to Kyle’s house, the day of the car accident.”

As if I’d forget that day.

“Okay,” I prompt when Jared goes quiet, “what do you need to tell me?”

I guess the tone of my voice is harsh. Kay moves closer to me and rubs her hand up and down my arm. It’s meant to be soothing, but nothing can calm me right now. I’m ready to fucking explode, implode, something.

Jared shuffles uncomfortably, and then, in a low voice, he says, “We didn’t buy drugs that day. When I told you that, it was the truth. But what I didn’t tell you is that Will did buy…something…from Kyle.”

My heart races in my chest, and my mouth dries up like the Nevada desert Will is closing in on with every passing minute.

“What did my brother buy from that motherfucker?” I grind out.

Jared’s eyes, filled with sorrow and pity, meet mine as he says, “Will bought a gun.”

Kay gasps from beside me, and I say nothing. But my mind reels and reels.

Shit, shit, shit.
This can’t be fucking happening.

There are only two reasons why my brother would buy a gun: to shoot himself or to shoot someone else. Despite his problems, and the fact that he left a sketch that symbolizes his hope here in Harmony Creek, I know for a fact my brother isn’t suicidal.

But there is a person I know for certain he’d like to see dead, the same man who has been tormenting his girlfriend.

“Paul,” I say out loud.

“Cassie’s stepdad,” Kay whispers at the same time.

We both know my brother will do
anything
to protect Cassie.

And, suddenly, it all makes sense.

This is why Will was so calm and well behaved for the past few days. He sure as fuck had no desire to alert me that something was up. And this is what he meant when he said everything was “under control.” He knew then that he’d purchased an illegal firearm; he knew he planned to take it with him to Vegas. This is also why Will had his plane ticket refunded. He wouldn’t be allowed to board a plane with a fucking firearm in tow. But the bus was different. When he was boarding the bus, no one checked a thing. He must have known that’d be the case.