Never Ending (2 page)

Chapter
1

           
A
cool, light place. Somewhere safe, where the
breeze, salt-tinged and sweet, blew in so softly, so gently across my face. And
something cold, refreshing, firmly pressed across my forehead, wiping away the
sweat, wiping away the sting. I winced with the pain, biting back a cry – what
was I feeling?

            “Careful...”
Danny's voice was low, sweet, and tender, as soft and kind as it ever had been.
“Don't you worry, Neve, darling. You got quite a nasty bruise there, didn't
you?”

            So that was
what the pain was. I winced again as he wiped it with a cold compress, feeling
the skin prickle and swell beneath him. At last I opened my eyes. Danny's face
swam into view before me, and I could feel my heart stop, as it always did when
I looked at him. I never could get used to his face; I thought to myself, not
even after all this time. Every time I looked at him, opened my eyes, took him
in, it was like I was seeing him for the first time. So terribly, painfully
beautiful – his piercing bright eyes, that promised so much pleasure. His full,
dark lips, that curled into such a seductive smile. His cheekbones, hollow and
sharp, cutting like diamonds. He was the sort of boy who could break a girl's
heart, I thought – and I knew from firsthand experience that he'd come
painfully close to breaking mine. I swallowed, taking in the air, taking in my
surroundings as I came to at last.

           
Where are
we?
It took me a while for it to sink in. Danny and I had moved around so
often in the past few months that nowhere had become familiar to us; nowhere
felt
like home
. But this was Danny's newest home – a temporary one, to
be sure, but a home nonetheless. We were in the presidential suite of Danny's
newest place, the presidential suite of the Hotel Isotope, LA's newest,
trendiest venture. Everything shone – chrome, glass, silver – painfully precise
and minimalist in a way that only the truly rich can achieve. It was beautiful,
to be sure – and no less beautiful was the view out the window of the
68th-floor suite, looking as it did out over the LA city lights, the sandy
beaches, the mist-covered mountains, which in the early morning light appeared
lusher and greener than ever before. But, surrounded by all this luxury, I felt
an involuntary pang.

           
It used to
be easier.

           
I
remembered when Danny's house had been a simple cottage by the sea, tastefully
decorated, quiet, rural. The sort of place Danny could afford on his graduate
stipend, not the sort of place his father had insisted on setting him up with.
Things had been so easy then, of course. I'd been a university student; the
Never Knights had been a successful local band; Danny and I had been quietly
dating. No worries about RRR; no worries about Veronica Taylor; no Dusk Riders.
Just the two of us, kissing, looking out over the foam and the light of the
sea. No night clubs...

           
Night
clubs...

           
I
thought back to last night, trying to make sense of my memories. I'd been
watching the Dusk Riders, fighting back tears, trying my best to hide my pain.
And then the room had started to swim. Then my knees had gone wobbly. Then
everything had gone dark.

            “Danny...” My
voice came out so small, so child-like, that it surprised me. “Danny, what
happened?”

            Danny pressed
his lips to my forehead, cradling me in his arms. “I don't know, Neve. It
happened so fast. You just...blacked out.”

            “No,” I said,
shaking my head. “That can't be – I never drink that much...” I'd seen enough
of my high school friends go to rehab, along with their supermodel mothers and
rock star dads, to avoid excessive drunkenness like the plague.

            “No, I know,”
said Danny. “I don't think you were drunk. You were just...so tired.” He
sighed. “Neve, I'm worried about you.”

            “Worried?” I
didn't want to meet his gaze. “What do you mean?”

            “You've been
under so much pressure lately...” He took my hand and pressed it against his
cheek. I could feel his stubble, rough and tantalizing, beneath my fingertips.
“Getting your grades back up to where they were before London, catching up on
missed assignments, trying to restart the band...and that's just the worries I
know about.” He laughed softly. “Sometimes I get the sense that you've got more
worries, too. Worries you're not sharing with me.”

            I looked down
at my lap. Danny was right – there were worries, worries that I wanted so badly
to share with him, wanted so badly to unburden myself of. But I knew I could
not. Danny and I had been through so much together, and although our
relationship was new, it had gone through enough bumps and false starts that I
didn't feel ready to rock the boat. Not yet.

            “It's really
just that,” I said. “Just stress – that's all. I shouldn't have gone out at
all, with how I was feeling, I mean. I really overdid it. I'd been up all night
studying for my Chaucer final, and I just....”

            “I'm taking you
to the doctor today,” said Danny, pressing my hands against his lips. It was
hard to feel quite so stressed now, I thought in spite of myself, with Danny's
tongue flicking so lightly at my fingertips, tormenting me as it made my heart
beat faster. Even now, with my head throbbing and the bruise still purple and
swollen on my forehead where I had fallen, I felt my body stirring with
automatic desire. “Even if it ends up being nothing, it's worth it. Just to be
sure.” He kissed each of my knuckles in turn, sending more shivers through me.
“For now, though – how are you feeling?”

            “Much better,”
I said. This was due in part to the sleep I'd just had on Danny's Egyptian
cotton sheets– although I had a feeling the slow, subtle motions of his tongue
on my wrist had rather more to do with it.

            “Well, I'll
make you feel better still...” He pressed a button on the hotel intercom and,
before I could blink, a knock rang out at the door.

            “Come on in...”
Danny opened the door to a kindly-looking older woman, with a bob of flaxen
blonde hair, carrying a tray.

            “Maybe not the
healing I had in mind – but a useful...
appetizer,
at any rate.”

            The woman
smiled as she lifted up the tray cover. My eyes widened in delight, and my
stomach emitted a thoroughly inelegant growl. There was a bowl of thick, white
New England clam chowder, buttery corn on the cob, freshly-baked bread, Cobb
salad, pasta with tomato sauce...

            “All your
favorites,” said Danny. “I had the kitchen make it special.” He smiled and
nodded at the hotel attendant, who set down the tray on the table and made a
swift exit.

            The smell of
the food was intoxicating, maddening. I realized, as I inhaled the sweet,
garlicky smell of the pasta, that I'd never been so hungry in my life.

            “And if you
want to put on some fresh clothes...” Danny took out a hanger from the closet.
It was my best summer dress, a crisp white linen dress.

            I looked up at
him in confusion. “I thought I left that at home...”

            “You did,” said
Danny. “I'm sorry – I was terribly bold. I should have asked you, first. But I
took the liberty of getting some of your things from your apartment with my
spare key. Not all of them – just enough to spare you the trouble of going home
today.” He smiled. “I must say, though, I was tempted to move everything here,
just to convince you...”

            “Convince me of
what?”

            “I want you to
be with me,” Danny said, his voice low and urgent as he leaned in and kissed
me. “All the time. Morning, noon, night. Like I said when I visited over
Christmas – I want you to be
with me.
To live with me. At least so that
I can take care of you when you're like this.” He laughed softly, bitterly.

            “I can take
care of myself,” I said, too quickly.

            “Neve, I'm
worried about you.” Danny's eyes bore into my own, and I could feel him taking
note of my weaknesses. “You're been losing weight – too much weight – and
there's bags under your eyes. You're still so beautiful – but it hurts to look
at you. You haven't been eating properly, sleeping properly, now you're passing
out in clubs. And all the natural beauty in the world doesn't make you look
healthy.
”
He placed his fingers underneath my chin, kissing me lightly before he brought
me the tray of food.

            Any worries he
might have had about my eating habits I quickly dispelled, scarfing down the
soup and several hunks of bread in what felt like a single bite, feeling a bit
like a Dickensian orphan.

            “What's going
to happen when I leave? It's only for a few weeks – but you need to promise me
you'll take care of yourself when I'm gone.”

           
Only a few
weeks.
Another pang in my heart. Another few weeks for Danny to wrap up
Blues Enterprises' UK affairs so that he could relocate permanently to LA. So
that we would finally be together, full time. In a house, not a hotel suite.

            He shook his
head. “It's my fault for upsetting you,” he said. “I never should have told you
about that new group RRR signed.”

            “No, it's
fine,” I said. “I wanted to know. It was important. I want to know what you're
stepmother's been up to. Other than making our life miserable, of course. And
the blacking out – that was just a freak thing. Nothing to do with the Dusk
Riders. So please, don't blame yourself.”

            “How can I
not?” Danny kissed me then, a slow, searing kiss that lingered on my lips and
made them tremble. “I just want to take care of you, Neve. After all I've done
– after all the trouble I and my family have caused you – I don't deserve you.
But I want to deserve you, Neve. I want to take back all the hurt I've caused
you. And give you pleasure – so much pleasure – instead.” He kissed me and
kissed me, over and over again, his need ever stronger as he awakened my entire
body to his touch. It was always like this. I tried to hold back, to keep
things slow, to keep my heart safe in his embrace. But he made it impossible.
At the first touch of his lips, of his tongue, I was his, utterly and
completely. My resolve melted away, and I wanted nothing more than to be naked,
warm and ecstatic, in his arms.

            We kissed for
what seemed like hours, our tongues exploring one another's mouths, one
another's bodies, our hands exploring beneath our clothes, so painfully slowly
that our bodies were twin balls of fire, twin stars, burning with our need. At
last we gave in, both of us, to the desire that consumed us, stripping off our
clothes, making love once again as we always did, slowly and all-consumingly. I
had never been happier, I felt. Nothing made me feel the way he did.

            “God, I missed
you,” Danny said, when at last we lay naked and sweaty in one another's arms.
“It's not the same in London, without you.”

           
It's not the
same here, either.
It had been so hard without him – so agonizing. Missing
his touch, his taste, his smell. Wondering if somewhere in London, some girl –
prettier than I was, more talented, with a more tantalizing laugh – had caught
his eye...

            “I miss you
too, Danny,” I let myself whisper. “You have no idea how much. But I do. It's
been a tough few weeks...”

            “But I'm here
now,” Danny said. “I'm here – and good things are just around the corner. I've
got a good feeling about us, Neve.”

“I do
too,” I said.

            “Right, that's
settled then,” Danny laughed softly as he began to nibble on my ear. “In that
case, let's get this show started...”

Chapter
2

T
he pleasure lasted for what seemed like hours. Every touch of
his hand, every brush of his lips, every path traced by his tongue in its
lithe, light route across my body: my stomach, my hips, my breast – awakened in
me new and more all-consuming desires. My blood grew hot – my veins felt like
warm honey was coursing through them – and I could feel my cheeks flush and my
lips grow dark and swollen with my need.

           
You fool,
Neve,
I whispered to myself as Danny kissed my stomach – light butterfly
kisses that made me giggle against myself.
How could you let yourself fall
in love like this?
Was it even love, I wondered? Or was it lust – plain,
simple, fiery lust – a need totally and completely physical, totally and
completely overwhelming, something I could neither explain nor control? I
sighed as Danny lightly nipped at my inner thigh.

           
This isn't
me.
No – until last year, I'd been a girl completely in control of her own
body, her own mind, her own heart. I'd dated around, sure, but I'd never been
interested in a real relationship, a real love. I'd seen girls fall for guys
all the time, all around me – not to mention vice versa – I'd counseled Steve
in particular through many a bad break-up. But I'd always told myself:
you've
got to be different, Neve, you've got to be better.
I wasn't going to be
that
girl, that girl who waits for the phone to ring,
that girl
who can't
stop talking about her boyfriend – how attractive he was, how in love they
were, how
one day
everything would work out, “when he's got his issues
sorted out.” I'd been understanding, of course, nodded in all the right places,
given the right, compassionate, noncommittal advice, but deep down I'd never
understood. Deep down, I knew, I'd been convinced that girls who fell in love
with bad boys were committing some unpardonable sin of femininity, giving into
some mental weakness, giving men power over them. And I'd sworn to never be
like that. I'd only ever fall into a relationship where I had both feet safely
on the ground.

           
And here you
are, Neve, the worst of them all.
I'd done everything I said I wouldn't do.
I'd gotten involved with a bad boy – no,
the
bad boy – a beautiful,
blue-eyed rocker with cheekbones like chiseled marble and hips like David Bowie,
a British sex god with – oh,
God, Neve –
a tragic past, a girlfriend
whose loss he could never really get over, a fear of intimacy.
Everything
about him is going to break your heart.

           
But it
was so easy to forget that, now, with Danny's tongue lapping at my hip bones,
causing me to shudder with pleasure and anticipation. He turned my body into an
enemy of my brain – a betrayer of everything I thought I wanted.

            My old
insecurities came bubbling up to the surface – how could a man like Danny Blue
ever be satisfied with
one
girl? Sure, when we were together, he acted
like there was no other girl in the world, like I was the only woman who
mattered – but when we were apart...

            I moaned
lightly as he bit the side of my breasts – a playful, cat-like nip that sent me
reeling. I trusted him enough to know he wasn't doing the same with some other
girl – but for how long? London was a big city, filled with women, women far
more experienced, more self-aware, more skilled at pleasing men than I was. And
maybe soon enough he'd realize that the trouble I was causing, Veronica's wrath
I'd brought down on both our heads, wasn't worth it. Maybe soon enough he'd
realize...

            “Neve...” he
nuzzled my neck. “What's wrong?” He smiled at me, cupping my cheek with his
hand. I swallowed, hard, and forced myself to smile as I looked back into his
eyes, so dreamily, so mind-numbingly, blue. I wanted to lose myself in them.

           
You're being
silly, Neve,
I told myself.
He loves you. Just look at him. Just look at
how he's treating you, spoiling you, making you feel so special...

           
But he'd
made me feel special before, I knew. And he'd also hurt me before, hurt me in
ways I didn't know existed, destroyed my heart with a single word, a single
glance. I'd only just put the pieces back together again. Was I really willing
to risk being hurt a second time?

            “Nothing...” I
said.  At that moment I didn't care about being hurt, didn't care about the
pain. All I wanted was the pleasure he could give me. I was desperate for it,
my need causing every muscle in my body to ache, to tense up, like a bow pulled
taut for the hunt.

            “Careful,
Neve,” he kissed between my breasts, his tongue lapping at my nipples, causing
me to bite back screams. “You really,” he kissed me again, “need,” he bit me
lightly, “to take”, he began to trace circles on my neck with his tongue,
“better care of yourself, you know.” He laughed. “Why don't
you...eat....something.”

            I squealed with
the cold as he let a chilled strawberry drop onto my stomach, savoring the
pleasure as his warm mouth pressed against the flesh.

            “How's that, my
love?” He laughed, and I could make out a devious sparkle in those angelic blue
eyes of his. My whole body was on fire, now, and despite myself I no longer
wanted to resist it. Danny knew just how to drive me over the edge.

            “How about
now?” He pressed another strawberry onto my skin – this time between my breasts
– laughing softly as I shuddered with the cold. He traced the cool berry up my
neck, along my cheekbones, before lightly dropping it into my mouth. The berry
was sweet – intoxicatingly sweet – and the juice from it trickled lightly from
my lips.

            “I'll stop that
up for you,” he whispered, sucking it from my mouth as I let out another,
louder moan.

            “We really
should get out of bed,” Danny's lips curled in a teasing smile. “Stop all this
fooling around and get to work...get some food...” He poured out some chilled
champagne into two crystal flutes, “and drink. You look
awfully
hungry.
And I'm in the mood for something...delicious myself.”

            “Danny!” My
voice didn't even sound like my own. Desire had made me a stranger to myself.

            “What is it?”
His smile was mocking, diabolical. “Aren't you
sated
yet?”

            “You know I'm
not....”

            “I've brought
us all this lovely food. Don't you want to eat?”

            I couldn't stop
myself from smiling, too. If he was going to tease me, I was going to tease him
right back. “I had something
similar
in mind,” I said, taking a
strawberry and placing it delicately between his lips.

            “Do I detect
something untoward in your meaning, Neve?” He leaned back onto the pillow,
letting me straddle his chest – naked and sweaty, but still rock-hard in the
morning LA sun.

            “That depends,”
I said. “What were you hoping I meant?”

            To my surprise,
his devious grin gave way to something else – a deep, throaty laugh – a laugh
not merely of teasing desire, but of genuine joy. I felt a jolt pass through
me. I didn't often see Danny like this. I saw him full of desire, to be sure,
or tormented by pleasure, content, often, but never
happy.
Danny Blue's eyes
were usually too full of pain, too full of some darkness I could never
understand, to be considered
happy.
But right now, as he cupped my
breasts and pulled me towards him in a lingering kiss, intense and yet almost
playful, Danny seemed happier than I'd ever seen him.

            “What are you
so cheerful about?” I asked him. “Do you know something I don't?”

            “Do you still
even have to ask, love?” His voice was so low, so throaty, that I could barely
hear him. “I'm here, where I want to be. With the woman I want to be with. Why
shouldn't I smile?”

           
You fool,
Neve. He loves you. Can't you just trust him – just let yourself be happy?

           
“You're
right,” I said, letting myself smile back, relaxing just a little. “I'm so
happy you're back. And that you're in my arms again.” I leaned down and kissed
him again, letting our tongues touch just slightly as our bodies melded against
one another.

            “Well,” Danny
said, the deviant sparkle returning to his eyes, “If that wasn't the best taste
I've had all morning.”

            I pressed
another strawberry between his lips. “I've got an idea for a better one...” I
was surprised at my own boldness, but strangely proud. I knew what I wanted –
what my body wanted – and, looking into his eyes, I found I was no longer
afraid to ask.

            “I think you
are
thinking of something untoward.”

            “Oh,
absolutely.”

            “Careful what
you wish for, Neve Knight.”

            He flipped me
over, so that I was leaning back on the pillow, before encircling each of my
nipples, in turn, with his tongue, awakening each to the point of hardness. He
bit lightly, causing just enough pain to delay my pleasure, before trailing
down with his tongue, kissing my stomach, my hip bones, the insides of my
thighs, blending his teeth and tongue in a heady mixture of pleasure and pain
that left me desperate for more.

            When at last he
moved his lips between my legs, after what felt like hours of prolonged,
protracted torture, the pleasure was so intense that I could hardly stand it. I
arched my back, closing my eyes, waiting with a mixture of relief and dread for
that one blissful moment, after which the pleasure would end – it would be all
over...

            But Danny was
too skillful for that. He played me like his guitar. He knew when to start and
when to stop, when to lap at me with such a frenzied intensity that it made my whole
body shake so violently that the whole bed would collapse around us, and when
to wait, his breath tingling the flesh on my inner thigh, for me to calm down,
so that he could make the pleasure last longer. He knew when to delve deep,
when to touch lightly, where and when and how to make me his, utterly, until I
could no longer think, no longer even reason my own pleasure, but only
experience the sheer intensity of the moment.

            When, at last,
he decided to release me, the waves of my orgasm were overwhelming – I could
not bite myself back from calling his name, nor did I want to. I whispered
“Danny,” over and over again, as he kissed my stomach, my breasts, my neck and
at last my lips, whispering my name back at me, taking me in his arms as I
shook.

            “There...”
Danny laughed softly. “You were right. That
was
the best taste I've had
all morning.” He kissed me on the forehead. “But now, my love, we've got work
to do.”

            “Work?” I
furrowed my brow. “What kind of work?”

            He handed me my
cell phone.

            “Playtime's
over, Neve Knight. It's time to get your band back together.”

.