Never Ever (23 page)

It was a miracle I survived. All thanks to William and Margaret Regel, a retired couple who'd always dreamed of living out the rest of their days together on a sailboat. They were a week into their new life when they found me. I was skin and bones, I could barely speak, I was afraid of everything and everyone. They took me back to the mainland, made sure I got the medical attention I needed, and even gave me a little bit of money. I had no place to live, and William offered me one of his old boats that was taking up space in the Connecticut harbor. One day, I'll bring them to the island as a show of my gratitude. It was Margaret who encouraged me to write down my story, even though the version I had told her was a complete lie.

If you're reading this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I want you to join me. I have a plan. I'm going to exact revenge on my captor. I'm going to take away everything that means anything to him. I'm going to take his land and put him behind bars and do everything to him that he did to me. I will stock up on supplies and weapons. I will take William's boat and I will go back to the island. I will wait patiently. There's enough room on this boat for Charlotte and Sebastian and Jersey and everyone Phinn has locked up. I'll make it look like a kidnapping. Phinn will use it to his advantage, I'm certain of that. He will make everyone think I might come back again and kidnap more people. And while he keeps them all terrified, he'll give us time to prepare.

We will take back the island. And we will make Phinn suffer.

There were fourteen signatures at the bottom of the paper. Hopper's and all the lost kids in faded ink, and then Lola's name, more visible than the others.

“I'm sorry for what you've been through,” Wylie said.

“I'm not looking for your pity,” Hopper replied.

Wylie didn't know what else to say. She did pity him. She couldn't help it. But she could tell Hopper pitied her, too. The judgment in his gaze made her feel small and foolish, but then again, weren't they all guilty of falling in love with Phinn?

“We can't take you home, Wylie,” Lola told her.

“I could never go home without my brothers,” Wylie replied.

“Good, because you're going to help us take Phinn down.” Wylie had never heard this tone in Lola's voice before. This was no longer the same girl who loved tending to her garden and daydreaming about life on the mainland. Phinn had left that girl in the ocean.

“I just want to get my brothers and go home.”

“That's awfully selfish,” Hopper said.

“I don't think you understand, Wylie,” Lola interjected. “You are Phinn's biggest weakness. You're his Achilles heel. We're outnumbered. Yesterday, we didn't think we could beat him. Today we have a secret weapon. Today we have
you
.”

Hopper handed Wylie a pen. “What do you say?” he asked. “Will you help us give that bastard everything he's got coming to him?”

The boat creaked loudly. Wylie could hear the pounding of feet from the deck. It sounded like the lost kids were jogging in place or doing jumping jacks. She unrolled Hopper's manifesto and read through all their signatures:

Hopper, Sebastian, Charlotte, Fiona, Jersey, Danny, Elizabeth, Kia, Benjamin, Zoe, Riley, Grace, Thomas, Lola.

The light switch was still on. The one her mom had warned her about that day on the fire escape. Even after all the terrible things Phinn had done, she wasn't sure if she would ever be able to turn it off completely.

Welcome to adulthood,
Wylie thought.

“How soon would we go back?” she asked.

“As soon as we're ready,” Lola replied. “You'll have to be patient.”

Wylie pressed the tip of the pen against the paper and signed her name. Lola gave her a satisfied smile. Waiting out their return would be long and excruciating, but Wylie knew it would be worth it in the end. And until they turned the boat around and sailed back in the direction of the island, there were three lines from Hopper's manifesto Wylie would hold in her memory:

I'm going to exact revenge on my captor. I'm going to take away everything that means anything to him. I'm going to take his land and put him behind bars and do everything to him that he did to me.

Wylie would keep repeating those words in her head until she meant
them.

No disrespect to any of the other pages in this book, but the below is the most important thing I've ever had to write. There are so many people to thank who made this novel possible. Friendly warning, it's about to get super warm and fuzzy.

A huge thank-you to Tom Jacobson for being the first person to suggest I write this idea as a novel. You shepherded this project from day one and helped me with it every step of the way. None of this would have been possible without you. You have been a wonderful mentor to me and I'm eternally grateful.

A very special thank-you to Jessica Regel at Foundry Literary & Media for taking a first-time novelist under her wing when I'd only written a few chapters of this book. You held my hand through this entire process and I could not have finished the book without you. Your ideas, advice, and encouragement were invaluable. You are a real-life fairy godmother and it's an honor to work with you.

I hit the editor jackpot with Kendra Levin at Viking Children's Books. Kendra, you were a true partner and collaborator throughout every stage of this novel. Thank you for all of your insightful notes and ideas. Most of all, thank you for your patience and all the phone hours you
spent helping me refine and revise this story. You gave me perspective when I had none. You are a gem of a person. Thank you to everyone else at Viking who helped make this dream a reality.

A special thank-you to Blye Faust and Wendy Rhoads for being early supporters of this book and early supporters of my career. You are among the first people to believe in me as a writer. Thank you for everything you've taught me.

To Eric Brooks, thank you for all of the career (and legal) advice throughout the years. You've been a calm and supportive presence at every crossroad. To Dana Spector for believing in this project and for your patience as it underwent months of rewrites. Thank you as well to Lynn Fimberg, Matt Ochacher, Michael Pelmont, and David Rubin for the endless support and guidance. I am very lucky to be working with all of you.

To Nathan Zolezzi and Michael Grant for the early reads and the very generous and helpful feedback.

To Susan Levine for #1 Listening and #2 Years of advice.

To Georgi Schafer, Edward Schafer, Jennifer and Chris Krisiewicz. I'm so lucky to call you my family. Thank you for all of your love and support.

They say it takes a village and I agree if that village equals a really good group of girlfriends. A special shout-out to my besties Alison Asaro and Kayoko Akabori for celebrating the victories with me along the way and for all the pep talks in between.

Thank you additionally to my favorite book club ladies: Alison Asaro (yeah, you just got thanked
twice
), Agnes
Chu, Anne Trench, Daya Berger, Emily Brough, Gabrielle Ebert, Jen Kleiner, Jihan Crowther, Karin Nelson, Lani D-Barrett, Toby Lowenfels, and Valentina Garcia-Loste for reminding me that books (and mimosas) are my first love.

For me, the relationship between the Dalton siblings is the heartbeat of this story. Thank you to my sister Samira Saedi Abrams and my brother Kia Saedi for being my best friends and biggest inspirations. You have endured many of my career twists and turns and you've never stopped encouraging me. You are the most generous, compassionate, and funny people I know. If I ever move to a magical island, I'm taking you both with me. Thank you also to Jacob Abrams for being the older brother I've always wanted. You're totally invited to the island, too. I love you guys.

To my kind and curious nephew and nieces, Mazin, Ella, Keira, and Cameron. I hope once you're old enough to read this book you will permanently refer to me as your “cool aunt.”

A very special thank-you to my incredible parents, Ali and Shoreh Saedi. You changed your entire lives so your kids could have better opportunities and no form of gratitude will ever be enough. Your love and support mean the world to me. Thank you for never asking me if I had a backup plan, for always believing in me, and for making me feel like I was meant to be a writer. Thank you also for reading the book in its earliest incarnation when you had a million other things keeping you busy. You are the kind of parents a kid wants to make proud. I love you so much.

Is it weird to thank your dog in acknowledgments?
What if your dog is an adorable pug named Mabel who sat on your lap during the writing of this book? Okay, in that case—thank you, Mabel, for filling my days with so much joy.

Most importantly, thank you to my loving husband, Bryon Schafer. If it weren't for your confidence in me, I would never have had the guts to quit my day job. Thank you for never rolling your eyes during my frequent bouts of self-doubt, for reminding me to laugh at myself, and for your unwavering support. Also, thanks for marrying me, because a) companionship and b) I had the idea for this story on our honeymoon. You are the best life partner a girl could ask for. Everything is better with you by my side, and there's no one I'd rather grow old with. I love
you.

Read the first chapter of
The Lost Kids
,
the sequel to
Never
Ever
!

PROLOGUE

“phinn,
are you listening? Where's Wylie Dalton?”

Dead.

Sleeping at the bottom of the ocean.

Permanently trapped in the folds of my mind.

Tucked away in the corner of my heart.

All of the above.

“You have a chance to do the right thing here. Answer the question.”

A fan buzzed overhead. The steady beeping of the heart monitor made Phinn insane. He missed the
pop-pop
of
parvaz
flowers and the
whir
of teenagers flying above him. He missed the melodies of the island. Hell, he missed blue sky.

“Where's Wylie Dalton?”

The question had haunted Phinn from the moment he heard Wylie plummet into the ocean, and now it was being asked of him with about as much urgency as someone looking for a set of missing keys. All he wanted was to see Wylie again, to hold her and tell her that the moment he'd met her, he'd given up on making her part of his intricate revenge plot.

Phinn's plan had always been to befriend Joshua. The son in trouble with the law seemed the most vulnerable of the Dalton siblings. But all that changed when Wylie came into Phinn's line of sight. She'd been on the dance floor, surrounded by friends, but had somehow created the illusion that she was alone. From where Phinn had sat that night, he'd barely been able to make out the emerald shade of her irises, but he'd seen a trace of pain behind her eyes. On that rooftop in Brooklyn, he'd forgotten about her dad and all the reasons he'd manipulated a run-in with the Dalton kids. Their future didn't feel premeditated anymore. It felt inevitable.

“If I knew where she was, don't you think I would have found her?” Phinn finally responded.

“What did you do to her?”

I lied to her. I broke her heart into a million pieces. I held her captive.

“Nothing. I didn't do anything to her. I want to go home.”

“I'm afraid that's not going to happen.”

Phinn did the math. He'd been here for seven days. That meant two hundred and eighty-eight more days to spare before he'd turn eighteen.

“How old were you when your parents died?”

“What do you have on that little clipboard?” Phinn asked. “A list of every upsetting question you could ask me?”

“This will go a lot more easily if you cooperate.”

“Five. I was five when my parents died.”

“And how did they die?”

He'd thought that it was just an elaborate game of hide-and-seek, that, when he found them, they were only pretending to be asleep. He'd yanked his mother's hair, screaming at her to wake up. He'd scraped her skin with his fingernails as Lola's family pulled him away.

Phinn looked into the eyes of his interrogator and waited until he was certain he wouldn't cry.

“They killed themselves.”