Never Far From Home (The Miller Family 2) (38 page)

“Okay,” she hollered and expected to see Aunt Hannah poke her head at the top of the steps.

Instead, Sarah Hostetler appeared on the landing. “There you are, Emma Miller, at long last. You can’t hide from me any longer.”

Emma hung her head, mortified. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” She wasn’t about to compound her sin by lying.

“You are forgiven,” said Sarah and ran to embrace her.

Emma stumbled to her feet as pieces of wool fell to the floor. She allowed herself to be enfolded in a hug.

“I know why you’ve avoided me. I’m not a
dummkopf
. Every time you see Sam and me you’re reminded of James.”

Emma nodded. “True. I’m a selfish woman and a poor friend.”

“No, you’re a normal woman.” Sarah glanced around the room. “
Ach
, what a mess up here. How do you stand all this lint and dust?” She sneezed as though on cue.

Emma laughed and brushed a pile of raw wool off the other chair. “It doesn’t bother me, but Leah won’t set foot up here with her allergies.”

“Hmm, I have little sisters too. This lint can be a blessing in disguise.”

Both girls laughed as Emma realized how much she’d missed her friend. “I have missed you, Sarah,” she blurted out.

“And I, you,” Sarah said. “I saw you sitting with Joseph at the cider-making frolic. And I also saw you climbing into the wagon for the first hayride with him. Sam and I went on the last ride. Has Joseph asked to court you?” Her pretty brown eyes grew round as her voice dropped to a whisper.

Emma rose from her stool and began pacing the floor. “Not in so many words, but I think he wants to. I’m dreading the question.”

“Why?” Sarah dabbed at her nose with a hanky. “He’s a nice boy from what I hear…and as an only son he’ll eventually take over his pa’s harness shop.”

Emma tried not to reveal her feelings. “
Jah
, he’s very nice and quite attentive. He’ll make some woman a good husband some day.”

“But not you?” Sarah pulled the hanky from her face.

“I really don’t know how I feel. I just know things are impossible with James. Joseph asked me to an ice-skating party next Saturday if the cold snap holds. I will wait and see what happens.”

Sarah nodded sagely. “When in doubt, do nothing.” She gazed toward the skylight, where dust motes floated and swirled in the winter sunlight. “Have you heard any news from James since your visit?”

The question hung in the air unanswered for a few minutes. “No. I told him not to stop by or write any more letters.”

Sarah crossed her arms and tilted her head. “A clean break…always the best way. If you
were
to hear news of him, it might just get your hopes up, and we couldn’t have that, could we?”

This question took half a minute to sink in. Then Emma stared at her friend. “Have you heard something, Sarah Hostetler? If so, I sure wish you’d spit it out instead of dangling it like catnip.”

Sarah’s grin filled her face. “I only know that James Davis Jr. has been coming home every Thursday after his last class. He doesn’t spend a single minute on campus more than necessary. He’s home working on the farm until dawn on Monday, and then he drives back to Wooster.” She stood and moved closer to the potbellied stove to warm her hands.

Emma added more kindling, stirred the embers, and shut the little brass door. “That’s hardly news, dear girl. He loves farming and would spend as much time home as possible.” She held her palms above the radiant heat too.

“
Jah
, but I also know he’s been attending church services with Sam and his family. You can guess who told me that little tidbit.” She winked at Emma.

Emma’s head snapped up. “James has been attending New Order preaching services?” Her voice revealed her disbelief. “Whatever for? He’s not Amish.”

“That I do not know. Why don’t you write him a letter and ask him?” She smiled with satisfaction.

“Oh, no, I could never do that.”

“Suit yourself, Emma, but you’ll spend the entire winter up here wondering.” Sarah glanced around the untidy but serviceable work-room again, sniffed, and then sneezed.

Emma was about to list the reasons she couldn’t contact James when the barn door opened and a shout came from down below. A gust of cold air accompanied Leah’s words up the stairs. “Emma, Sarah? Are you two still up there?
Mamm
says to come in now and get warmed up. She made a pot of blackberry tea and I baked lemon-poppy seed muffins.”

Emma shook her head as she walked to the landing. “
Danki
, Leah. We’ll be right down. I just want to bank the stove.”

Sarah waited until Emma finished with the fire before she grabbed her sleeve. “Before we go in, I want to tell you something in private.” She lowered her voice in case the little-mouse-with-big-ears was still in the barn. “Sam has proposed, but we’re going to wait to announce our engagement for a while.”

“Congratulations!” exclaimed Emma, hugging her friend tightly. “But why the wait and why keep it a secret? You and Sam are perfect together.”

“My parents don’t quite agree, at least not yet, so we’re waiting to marry until I turn eighteen.”

Emma knew that Sarah was Old Order, but Sam Yoder wasn’t. “What will you do? Have you decided?” She also kept her tone a whisper.

“
Jah
, I’ve decided to become New Order when we marry. I won’t be shunned since I haven’t taken the kneeling vow yet, but
mamm
and
daed
still won’t be too happy. We’re giving them time to get used to the idea.” Sarah smiled with her face flushed with the promise of new love. “So for now, this is our secret, okay?”

“Of course,” said Emma, “but we’d better go in before Leah returns. She’ll drag us out by our capes. She thinks even five minutes spent in a barn is five minutes too long.”

Both girls started down the stairs. At the bottom Emma looked at Sarah earnestly. “
Danki
for coming over today. And for not being angry with me and for the news about James.” She glanced at the doorway and then back toward the loft. “You’re right. I’ll probably mull over that information all the way till spring.”

Early January

The skating party had to be postponed several times. Temperatures had warmed into the forties just before Christmas and melted all the snow, including the ice on ponds. Emma breathed a sign of relief. She wasn’t eager for the date with Joseph. Reminding herself that they were friends, she feared he wished for something more permanent. She tried to picture herself courting him, but every time it was a blond-haired, blue-eyed man who escorted her to singings or for rides in his courting buggy. It was all very silly—the imaginings of a foolish young woman. James Davis wasn’t even Amish.

Emma’s loneliness abated somewhat at Christmastime. Visits from
Mammi
and
Dawdi
Kline and from Uncle Thomas and his bride, Catherine, filled the house with love and laughter. She, Leah, and
mamm
were so busy cooking or baking up goodies during the two-week visit that she had no time to feel sorry for herself.

Aunt Hannah was usually there, along with Phoebe and Uncle Seth, to lend a hand but mainly to visit with her parents. The menfolk stayed out in the barn until frozen fingers and toes drew them back to the woodstove in the front room.
Daed
said they were busy planning for spring, but Emma knew they mostly visited and swapped stories during the quietest time of the year. Everyone attended Simon’s evening Scripture readings as they sought inspiration from the Gospel accounts of the Savior’s birth.

Hannah, usually far more talkative than an average Plain woman, had grown quiet during the waning days of Catherine and Thomas’ visit, ever since the night Catherine announced she was expecting a
boppli
in the late spring. Everyone had been joyous, slapping Thomas on the back and hugging Catherine, including Hannah. But Emma had seen Hannah’s eyes full of tears when she carried dessert plates to the kitchen, probably because she wasn’t in a family way yet. Emma pitied her aunt, knowing how it felt not to get your heart’s desire.

New nightgowns from
mamm
, chocolate candy kisses from
daed
, a birdhouse from Henry, and Matthew’s gift of new leather harnesses for her pony cart had brightened the season’s festivities. Leah had surpassed herself with a gift of cookbooks and jars of colored icing. Emma loved and treasured each gift, yet just one inexpensive greeting card from Charm could have made her holiday perfect.

Yet no card had come, and Emma knew James would respect her request to stay away. Today, very cold and sunless, she would drive over to the Hershberger farm with Leah for the rescheduled ice skating party. Dressing in many layers, she waddled downstairs feeling as though she faced a trip to the dentist rather than a social outing.

“Ah, Emma,” said Simon, “ready to go? I hope you don’t fall down on the ice. Bundled up like that, you’ll never get back up.” He laughed heartily as he finished his coffee.

Emma also laughed. Picturing herself helplessly flat on the ice was funny, and she laughed because her father seldom cracked a joke. “I’ll just have to wait for a thaw and float to shore.” She grabbed some carrot sticks for her pony, Maybelle.

“I’m sure Joseph will be close by to pull you upright.” Simon chuckled again, but Emma lost her good humor.

The fact that her parents were pushing her toward the harness maker’s son only made her more resistant. Luckily, at that moment her sister lumbered into the room, equally overdressed. “Ready to go, Leah? Let’s be off.” Emma brushed a kiss on her father’s cheek and headed outdoors.

Her dear
bruder
had the pony hitched up and ready to go. Leah chattered about one topic after another along the way, giving Emma time to think. Unfortunately, even a forty-five minute ride wasn’t sufficient for the solutions she required.

Joseph practically ran to their pony cart when they parked near the barn. “Hullo, Emma. Leah.” He swept off his hat and then settled it back in place. “I’ll put your Appaloosa inside a barn stall. There’s room. They’ve started the bonfire if you’re cold from the ride over. Food tables are set up in the north outbuilding in case you’re hungry.” He pointed with one long finger in the general direction. “I’ll eat whenever you want, Emma. Should I carry your skates to the pond?”

The two sisters exchanged glances; neither had ever heard him talk so much or so fast. “I’ll see you later, Em. I’m going to look for Elizabeth.” Leah grabbed her skates and ran—not walked—away from the pony cart.

She smiled weakly at Joseph and tried to remember his questions. “I’m not hungry yet, nor am I too cold. Why don’t you put away Maybelle and then we can skate for a spell?”

He looked confused and then realized Maybelle was her pony. “Sure. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Emma grabbed the hamper of baked goods and her skates and walked toward the pond. She didn’t wait while Joseph put the horse away. Young people and courting couples were already skating. Slab wood benches sat close to the ice for donning skates, while the bonfire’s flames leaped in the air, promising to warm chilly fingers and toes.

It didn’t take Emma long to spot Sarah and Sam out on the ice. They skated very close together with crossed arms, while exchanging moon-cow glances. Emma bit the inside of her cheek to stem the tide of envy. Sarah was her friend and deserved happiness even if she spent the rest of her life in a dusty workroom.

“Ready, Emma?” Joseph asked over her shoulder. He was smiling sweetly at her.

She wasn’t worthy of the attention from such a kind and gentle soul. Mean-spirited, jealous people like her deserved to be shut away in a barn loft. “
Jah
, let’s skate,” she said, sitting on the bench. They laced on their skates and glided onto the sparkling ice. It was smooth and free of snow after the quick freeze. Emma soon found her stride. With one hand locked on Joseph’s elbow and the other hand aloft for balance, she circled the pond many times, weaving in and out of slower skaters. The sun peeked from behind the clouds, turning the gray January day into a sharp contrast of light and shadow. Emma relaxed while skating and allowed the physical activity to occupy her mind and body completely.

Finally, it was Joseph who demanded a break. “Whew, let’s rest for a spell. My ankles are getting sore. Today’s the first time I’ve had these things on in quite some time.” He hobbled clumsily up the bank to where they had left their boots.

Emma noticed that all other benches were empty. Everyone was either skating, inside the barn having a snack, or by the bonfire. She stretched out her legs with her feet balanced on the skate blades. The crisp air filled her lungs, giving her a boost of energy. “My, I’ve been cooped up too long indoors. It’s so good to breathe fresh air.”

Joseph nodded vigorously. “
Jah
, true. Are you getting thirsty? Or maybe I can get you a few cookies to tide you over till supper?”

Either he was very nervous or he thought that she never went longer than ten minutes without eating or drinking something. “Neither,
danki
. I’m fine just to sit a moment and watch the skaters.” She reached over and patted his forearm with her gloved hand. It was a meaningless gesture, one she used with her siblings all the time.