Never Forgotten (Never Forgotten Series) (30 page)

After folding the blanket and turning off the light, I walked down the hall and slipped back into bed. Evan stirred and rolled over, his back to me. I snuggled up behind him and wrapped my arm around him. He covered my hand with his own.

I tried to fall back asleep, but lay awake for several hours, my mind spinning. Should I move in with my grandparents and go to college? No. I loved my grandma and grandpa, but the idea of living with them without my mom there was not appealing. What about my dad and Ula? I didn’t understand the Selkie world, but it would be exciting to see new lands and meet family. A large family, Ula promised. I might even feel like I belonged.

Evan’s body rose and fell with each breath. He slept so peacefully. How could I leave him? If I went with my dad, would I ever see Evan again? Would he wait for me? A wave of hysteria bubbled up in my throat, and I choked on it. I buried my head in my pillow and cried myself to sleep.

"Meara, are you in?”

I looked up and found Jen, Val, and Katie all staring at me, expectant looks on their faces. What did they ask me? My mind was somewhere else entirely, certainly not on the conversation in the lunchroom. “Sorry. What?”

“Cancun?” Katie waved her phone in front of me. A picture of a beach at sunset. “We’ve been talking about it for weeks.”

“My parents said I could go as my graduation present.” Val grinned at me.

“I’m in, too,” Jen added.

I shook my head, knowing that they’d be disappointed. “I…uh, I can’t. Sorry.”

Katie leaned closer. “Why not?”

“My dad wants me to go home with him this summer. Meet the rest of the family.”

Katie knew this already. In the weeks after my mom’s funeral, we talked about it often. I hadn’t said anything to Val or Jen. Apparently, neither did Katie.

“Where’s home?” Val tilted her head to the side and wrinkled her nose. She reminded me of a curious puppy. I stifled a laugh. Val always wrinkled her nose when she was confused. “I thought you lived with him here.”

“I do.” How little could I tell them? The more information I gave, the more questions they’d ask. “He moved here to marry my mom, but he’s from Scotland.”

“Scotland!” Val rested her chin on her hands. “How exotic!”

Katie snorted. “Cancun is exotic, Val. Hot temperatures and hotter men. What does Scotland have? Kilts?”

“Katie.” Jen’s warning got a reaction out of Katie. For once, she actually seemed to regret her words.

“Sorry, Meara,” Katie apologized. “I’m sure Scotland is lovely.”

My friends resumed their graduation trip planning, and I resumed playing with my food. I wasn’t hungry these days. Maybe it was nerves. I pulled out my phone and texted Evan, “Come over tonight?”

He replied immediately. “Sure.”

The weeks following the funeral, my dad wasn’t much company. He looked better. The Change helped him to recover his youthful appearance, but his mood was poor. He slouched on the couch in front of the TV or slept late into the day. His five o’clock shadow was now a beard, and I needed to remind him to shower at least a couple times a week. While school kept me busy, his days were long and empty.

“Go become a seal or whatever while I’m gone. Relax, go for a swim.” I told him one morning, but he said the temptation to stay that way was too great. He was waiting for me to make my decision, and he’d wait as a human. A human martyr, I thought.

“Meara?” Jen stood behind me, her eyebrow raised in question.

I realized I was in the lunchroom. I had to stop daydreaming. “Yeah?”

“Bell rang. You ready for class?” She gave me a sympathetic look and waited while I stood. Jen’s dad died when she was in second grade. More than any of my friends, she understood what I was going through.

“Sorry I wasn’t much company at lunch.” I fell into step beside her.

“It’s okay.” She touched my arm. “I understand.”

We walked in silence the rest of the way to class. Once we took our seats, Jen turned to me. “Are you going to go with your dad then? To Scotland?”

I’d asked myself the same question countless times, weighing the pros and cons. I thought I was undecided, but I realized I’d made up my mind. Slowly, I nodded. “I think I am.”

***

When Evan came over that night, my dad excused himself. My heart dropped. I knew that he avoided people now, but I hoped Evan was an exception. While Dad walked down the hall toward his room, Evan stared after him.

“He’s not getting better, is he?” he asked low enough that only I could hear.

“He’s worse.” I waited until my dad closed his bedroom door. Turning back to Evan, I forced a smile. “Are you hungry?”

“I’m okay. You?”

My stomach twisted in knots. I couldn’t eat if I wanted to. “I’m fine.”

He sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him. I cuddled close and rested my head on his shoulder, delaying the inevitable. Now that I’d made up my mind, I needed to tell him. He lifted my chin, and his lips met mine. We kissed, and I lost track of time. My stupid brain wouldn’t leave me alone. Tell him, tell him, tell him, chanted through my head. I broke away and stood up to pace.

“What’s wrong?” Evan looked worried. At least he had stopped asking me if I regretted taking our relationship to the next level. It had been over a month. I had no regrets.

I didn’t want to worry him, but he needed to know what I decided. I stopped pacing and sat back down. “Evan, we need to talk.”

He studied me for a moment. “You’ve made your decision.”

I’d been weighing the pros and cons with him for weeks. He even asked Professor Nolan what he knew about Selkies. It hadn’t amounted to much, certainly nothing I didn’t already know. When I didn’t speak, Evan prompted, “Well?”

I tugged at the hem of my shirt, delaying for a few more seconds before I met his eyes again. “I’m going with my dad.”

He looked resigned, as if he was expecting it. “When?”

“After graduation.”

“That day?” He looked shocked, and I couldn’t blame him. It was only a month away. We were running out of time.

“Maybe that evening or the next day. I don’t know.” I took his hands, wanting to touch him. He gripped mine in return. Despair wound its deadly vine around my heart. “Evan, you’re the only thing that makes this difficult. I can’t breathe when I think of leaving you.”

“But not enough that I can convince you to stay.” I barely heard him, and he wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I have to know what I am.”

“I know what you are, and I love you. Isn’t that enough?” He searched my face.

“I wish it was.” My eyes filled with tears. Why was this so hard? Why couldn’t he understand?

He let go of my hand so I could wipe my eyes. “Where will you be going?”

“A small island near Scotland, I think.”

“Can I visit you?”

“I’m not sure.” I wasn’t clear on how often I could be around humans while I lived as a Selkie. My dad needed to explain it to me.

“Will you come back?”

I studied our hands joined together. I loved him so much, but the best thing I could do was let him go—let him meet someone else. A day here or there would not be fair to either of us.

“Meara?” His voice sounded strained.

“I’ll come back.” I couldn’t let him go. I was too selfish. “If I can.”

He brushed a strand of my hair out of my face before resting his hand on my shoulder. “Why couldn’t you?”

I sniffed and thought about what he said. Why couldn’t I? Dad never said I couldn’t come back here. He told me I could appear as human for small amounts of time. I could come back to see Evan, at least once after the Change. Would I feel the same?

“I’ll come back on my birthday.” I said the words as I finalized my decision. “My dad has come here on that day for years. I’m sure I can convince him to bring me.”

“Next year on your birthday.” He seemed to mull it over. It wasn’t much, but it was all I could promise. “It’s a date,” he said finally.

“A date,” I repeated. We sealed our promise with a kiss.

"Quinn, Meara.”

I stood as my name was called, moving forward in the sea of students. I couldn’t see my family, but I knew they were out there. My dad sat with my grandparents. They hadn’t quite forgiven him for leaving Mom’s funeral, but they weren’t being rude either. At least he shaved and cleaned himself up. They would have had a conniption if they saw him a week ago. I searched the crowd and found Evan sitting with his parents. He waved.

My face grew hot as I thought of the previous day. We’d spent it together. It had been wonderful and bittersweet. It was a day I’d never forget.

Evan whistled as I crossed the stage. I accepted my diploma, shook hands with the principal, and smiled at the photographer. My moment was over, and I crossed to the other side where I could descend the steps back to my seat. That’s it, I thought. One chapter closed, and another about to begin.

My grandparents and David found me after the ceremony, standing with Katie, Jen, and Val. We were thrilled, riding the high of our symbolic entry into adulthood.

Evan and his parents came up next. Evan had a camera and took several pictures of all of us, and more of just me. I smiled brilliantly. I wanted to leave him with nothing but happy images.

“Ready?” Dad placed his hand on the small of my back. For a moment, I panicked. His eyebrow shot up. “For dinner, Meara.”

“Of course.” I gave him a shaky smile. Maybe I was a little nervous. I hugged Evan and kissed his cheek. “See you there?”

“We’ll be right behind you.”

We headed into downtown Halifax. Katie and I agreed that we couldn’t possibly go anywhere else but our favorite Italian restaurant. I had looked forward to this all week. Who knew when I would eat garlic bread and tiramisu again?

The Mitchells arrived when we did, and the hostess ushered us to a long table in the back. I sat next to Evan, and he held my hand under the table. This last week, we found ourselves touching as much as possible. I smiled at him to keep things light. He returned the smile, though his eyes were sad.

The atmosphere around the rest of the table, however, was one of celebration. Evan and I were not allowed to sulk. Katie chatted about her upcoming trip to Cancun and her plans for the fall. She decided to study Journalism.

“Meara, you’re rather quiet,” Lydia observed, turning everyone’s attention to me. “What about you? What are your plans for the fall?”

“I’m going to take a little time off.” I met Grandma’s eye, and she gave me a shaky smile. I’d announced my plans to my grandparents the week before. They weren’t happy about me leaving, but they were supportive. “I’m moving to Scotland with my dad for a while.”

“Oh…” Lydia looked nervously at my father. He gave her a charming smile.

“I discussed it with Sharon naturally,” he said to the table at large. “She felt it was important for Meara to meet her relatives on my side of the family.”

“What’s Scotland like?” Katie’s blue eyes were wide and innocent. She pretended to be interested, but I knew she was just digging for information. She wasn’t going to get much. Even Kim got modified information when I called her earlier this week. She was happy for me and jealous that I was going to Europe before she could. If only she knew.

“Beautiful,” David said. “My family comes from the northern end of Scotland. The winters can be harsh, but the rest of the year, it is a lush green.”

“Do you have a large family?” Grandma asked.

“I do.” David nodded. “Two sisters and four brothers.”

“Of course. Your sisters were at the wedding, but not your brothers?” She phrased it like a question. My grandma seemed surprised to learn he had such a large family.

“My brothers were unable to travel.”

“And your parents?” Grandma persisted.

“They are gone.” My dad was back to his abridged answers. I knew about his mom, but not his dad. If Selkies lived so long, I wondered what happened to them.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Grandma murmured. Thankfully, the food arrived, and the topic was dropped while we were served. Smaller conversations broke out around the table, and I busied myself eating. No one would question me if I had a mouthful of food.

After dinner, Lydia and Darren invited us back to the Inn for coffee and dessert. I thought it was rude to decline, but I didn’t want to go. There were only so many hours left in the day, and I wanted time alone with Evan. He squeezed my hand under the table. When I looked at him, he mouthed, “We’ll get away.” Then, he winked at me. I felt better. If anyone could maneuver his way out of a situation with parents and guardians, politely and without raising any questions, it was Evan.

We had the whole evening together. It wasn’t like I needed to pack. My dad laughed when I asked him. “No, Meara. What are you going to do? Push your suitcase across the ocean with your nose?” More kindly, he explained that material items weren’t necessary for Selkies. Whatever I needed, I would be able to get once we were on the island.

“But what if I want to bring things with me?” I thought of my mom’s picture, my necklace from Evan, and my charm bracelet.

“Put together what you must have,” he relented. “I will make sure it arrives safely.” Yesterday, I’d gathered those few items into a small box and given it to him. Leaving most of my possessions was freeing and nerve-wracking at the same time. I was trying to wrap my mind around it. At least I could bring the things that mattered most.

***

We gathered in the Mitchells’ living room. Lydia asked Evan to help her in the kitchen. She came out with a beautiful cake for Katie and me. Evan followed her with coffee service. I was touched that she went to the trouble of making the cake. Katie and I posed for more pictures before it was sliced and served.

I barely finished my last bite when Evan took the plate out of my hands. “If you don’t mind,” he said, “Meara and I are going to go out.” He pulled me off the couch. My dad frowned slightly, and I wondered if he worried that I was bailing on him.

I kissed my grandparents on the cheek as I held back tears. This could be the last time I saw them. I kissed my dad’s cheek as well and whispered, “We’ll see you at the lighthouse later.” He nodded and visibly relaxed. Taking Evan’s hand and feeling like a fraud, I smiled brightly at everyone once last time. “See you later!”

Once outside, I broke apart. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Evan handed me a tissue. “I’m sorry,” I said between sobs. “I’ve got to pull it together. This is our last night, after all.”

Evan smiled sadly and touched my cheek. “All the more reason to cry, right?”

We got in his car. I wasn’t sure where we were going. He’d been pretty secretive about our final evening together, but I trusted him. I sat back and looked out the window, not paying attention until we stopped.

“I used to come here a lot.” Evan stared ahead. “When I wanted to think or just be alone.”

“Where are we?” I asked as I opened my door. Though the ocean roared nearby, trees and tall grasses obscured the view.

He grinned at me suddenly. “Let’s check it out.”

He got out and pulled a couple of blankets from his car’s trunk, along with a picnic basket. I stood next to the car and watched. He shut the truck and grabbed my hand with his free one.

“Evan.” I eyed the basket warily. “I am so full I couldn’t possibly eat anything else.”

He laughed. “That’s good, then. I don’t have food in here.”

We walked through the tall grasses to a small beach area surrounded by large rocks. The waves lapped lightly on the shore, calm tonight. The moon turned the water black and the sand silver. “It’s beautiful,” I said.

Evan found the perfect space to set down the basket and lay out one of the blankets. He patted a spot for me to sit, and I did. Then he opened the basket and took out a bottle of champagne. “I thought we should celebrate.”

“Oh.” I was surprised and touched. He handed me two glasses to hold while he opened the bottle. I laughed when the cork flew off into the grass. He poured the champagne, placed the bottle back in the basket, and then took one of the glasses from me.

He lifted his glass to mine. “Here’s to new beginnings and new adventures. May you find everything you’re looking for.”

I lowered my glass. “That’s sounds so sad,” I complained. “So final.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean for it to sound that way. I guess I don’t know what to say.”

“Let me try.” I raised my glass. “I’ll keep it short and sweet. Here’s to us.”

I touched my glass to his, then raised it to my lips and drank slowly. The bubbles tickled my throat. Evan slammed his, twirling the empty glass in his fingers.

“What is it?” The more he fidgeted, the more I knew he wanted to tell me something.

“What if I can see you before next February?” He watched me carefully.

I lowered my glass and held his gaze. “What do you mean?”

“Professor Nolan offered me an internship this summer.”

“That’s great!” I hugged him before sitting back down. “I don’t know what this has to do with—”

“It’s in Scotland,” he interrupted. “Aberdeen.”

My heart leapt. I didn’t know where Aberdeen was, but Scotland wasn’t that big. He’d be close—close enough that I could see him. I whooped and threw my arms around his neck. Knocking him off balance, he fell back with me lying across his chest.

“I take it you’re okay with it?” He gave me a lopsided grin.

I kissed him and laughed. “I’m more than okay with it. I’ll be able to see you!” I would, wouldn’t I? I let the thought slide away as quickly as it came. Of course I would. We’d find a way. Dad didn’t say I couldn’t leave the island. I lowered my head until I was just a fraction away from his mouth.

“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered. “But I love you.”

Our lips met. The kiss was slow and tender. I wanted to remember our last time together when I was just a girl. A human girl. He wrapped his arms around me and brought me closer. I sighed, savoring the feel of his lips on mine, his arms secure around my waist. The champagne was forgotten, left to go flat.

Much later, our skin cooled in the evening air as we lay on the blanket. Evan covered us with the other throw and pulled me close. I’ll always love you, I promised him silently. In my heart, I knew it was true. No matter what happened.

He stroked his hand through my hair and down my back. Neither of us spoke. What words could we say in these few, final moments? Evan sighed and kissed my head. “I better get you to the lighthouse, Meara. Your dad’s waiting.”

We dressed quickly and gathered the blankets and basket. His eyes were devastatingly sad, but I held onto the hope that we’d see each other soon.

“When does your internship begin?” I asked as he started the car.

“July. I’ll be there for five weeks.” He smiled at me, reaching for my hand across the seat. I tried to look as optimistic, but I failed. I didn’t let go of his hand.

We arrived at the lighthouse in record time. How did we get here so fast? I thought shakily. I couldn’t bring myself to open the door. Evan came around the car and opened it for me. I didn’t move.

“Are you okay?” He crouched down to my eye level.

“Okay? Okay?” I heard the hysteria in my voice. I didn’t care. I started to breathe rapidly—quick, shallow bursts.

“Slow, Meara,” Evan commanded quietly. “Take a deep breath.” Just as he had at Mom’s funeral, he gently pushed my head down.

I found my breath, but I couldn’t swallow. How was I going to do this? What was about to happen to me? Relax, I told myself. “All right,” I said to Evan. “I’m okay now.”

He straightened and backed up, offering me his hand. I took it and stood. The lighthouse cast a glow on the surrounding area. I didn’t see my dad. Evan held my hand and walked with me. As we approached the lighthouse, he asked, “Where’s David?”

“I’m here.” My dad stepped out of the shadows. One look at my face made him ask, “Are you nervous?” I swallowed hard and nodded. He looked sympathetic. “Don’t be. You’ll be fine. I’ll take care of you.”

“Will it hurt?” I asked in a small voice.

“No. It doesn’t hurt at all.” He looked off in the distance. “Sometimes, at least for me, it’s harder to take a human form.” He smiled apologetically at Evan. “Sorry, but it’s true.”