Never Get a ”Real„ Job (11 page)

Always look for ways to improve your Guess and Checklists. Doing so will keep you on top of your game and allow you to produce a series of definable, stepped-out blueprints for each and every part of your business.

Formulate and prove new hypotheses regularly
. Just because you prove out all of your original premises doesn’t mean that you’re done and on your way to easy street.

In fact, this is only the beginning.

Over the years, constantly questioning and improving on my one-paragraph start-up plan has led Sizzle It! to become a profitable, scalable company that is poised for strong growth in various new markets.

I wasn’t kidding when I told you that this One-Paragraph Start-Up Plan was a living, breathing plan that holds a symbiotic relationship with your business. And if it dies, your business may not be far behind.

Never
get comfortable. Always strive to improve your existing statements, add new client bases, and prove new hypotheses. Continue to sharpen your entrepreneurial skills. In time, you will be able to better hypothesize from the get-go, shortening the time frame it takes to complete and prove your success formulas.

6

To Partner or Not to Partner

Whether you’re looking for a business partner, a mentor, a lawyer, or an accountant, it is vital that you separate the lions from the vultures. Nothing demonstrates this point more than my experience working with another multimedia start-up (this was before
the company that shalt not be named
). This particular company’s demise was brought on by one of its majority shareholders and managers—or, as I refer to him, Mr. CEO.

Mr. CEO was the perfect storm of incompetence, egotism, and poor decision-making abilities. To sum him up in a nutshell, he loved ordering people around, driving an expensive sports car, and telling anyone who spoke to him for more than 30 seconds that he was, indeed, a CEO. Never mind that the company he pretended to run was worth less than the paper on which his fancy business cards were printed. In fact, the only thing he
didn’t
seem to like was real work.

During his inglorious two-year tenure, Mr. CEO:

 

• Carelessly spent more than $400,000 without earning a penny of revenue.
  
 

 

• Charged expensive “client” dinner meetings on the company credit card regularly.
  
 

 

• “Worked from home” three or more days per week, checked his e-mail only once per day, and referred to Fridays as “Hot Tub Day.”
  
 

 

• Misrepresented and exaggerated our products’ capabilities on a daily basis, thereby forcing us to scramble to back up his faulty promises.
  
 

 

• Hired a technology company that specialized in military and defense products to build our tween-focused Web site. The vendor burned through $40,000, missed every deadline, and never delivered a final product.
  
 

In the end, Mr. CEO blamed the company’s failure on everyone but himself. He cried about how his partner didn’t do enough, bitched about how the employees didn’t cut it, and swore that the start-up would have made it if it weren’t so severely undercapitalized. However, although there was certainly blame to go around, our team could only be as effective as its leadership—and our leadership had failed us.

You should not take lightly the decision to partner with another individual or company. Nor should partnering be the result of enthusiasm, spontaneity, or a “gut feeling.” Partnerships can turn out to be a blessing or a curse. For every thriving relationship, there are thousands that end up stagnant, dissolving, dysfunctional, or worse—in court. I’ve worked alongside many workhorses, and I’ve been victim to blood-sucking ticks. For each brilliant advisor from whom I benefited greatly, I was cannibalized by a greedy shark. In almost every instance of the latter, I would have been able to separate the winners from the losers early on and kick the garbage to the curb before I was hung out to dry—if I had only performed basic due diligence at the beginning.

Much like marriage—for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, through good times and bad, and as long as your business shall live—you will be attached to your partner at the hip, 24/7. So before you tie the knot at a shotgun wedding, you’ll need to rate individuals like they’re Olympic figure skaters. Most won’t even make it to the qualification rounds; few will even get the chance to try out. And select few, if any, will ever win gold. But those who survive your sharpest scrutiny and most severe due diligence will truly deserve it when you finally proclaim, “I do.”

THE WORST PARTNERS FOR YOUR START-UP

To err is human. To partner with flawed, damaged people is just plain stupid. If you surround yourself with idiots and don’t realize they’re idiots, guess what: The only
real
idiot is you. Before you hand over your life savings and social security number to someone else, you must be sure that you’re not giving equity or authority to a complete and total buffoon destined to take you through the ringer.

Here are some archetypes and personalities that will make for absolutely disastrous partnerships. Avoid these miscreants like the plague. And if some of these morons remind you of yourself, shape up or ship out.

Mr. Procrastinator
needs every “i” to be dotted and “t” to be crossed before he schedules an official product launch date. He enjoys researching competitors, building industry case studies, and improving his 150-page business plan. Mr. Procrastinator really wanted the new business to be up and running by now, but still feels something isn’t
quite
right. He plans on putting together another comprehensive survey to send to all of his colleagues, friends, and family in the next few weeks to help flesh out the concept further.

Excuses should not be tolerated. A good plan today is always better than a perfect plan tomorrow. Steer clear of excuse-prone procrastinators; instead, seek out self-starters who run with the ball and make things happen.

Ms. Employee
is a first-time entrepreneur with a pristine resume and an abundance of references. She enjoys collecting a weekly paycheck, health benefits, and eating dinner with her family every night promptly at 7 pm. Unfortunately, Ms. Employee isn’t really self-sufficient and doesn’t know how to move the business forward without you instructing her on every single move. Plus if your investment deal doesn’t pan out soon, she’s going to need to find a real job to pay the kids’ college tuitions.

Risk-averse individuals who do not share your priorities will not be productive partners. Don’t work with people who cannot commit the same amount of time, energy, and financial resources as you.

Mr. College Buddy
had a stroke of genius while out at the bar one night, wrote it on a cocktail napkin, and asked you to help him “make it happen.” He enjoys bragging about his great idea and giving you directions on how to execute (because he’s not really into the “heavy lifting” thing). The issue is that he’s moving across country to start med school in the fall. But fear not—Mr. College Buddy will make himself available by phone when he’s not studying, working, in class, or on a date. And he’ll be sure to forward you the address where you can mail his 50 percent of the profits.

Never assume all of the risk in exchange for half the reward. Ideas are worthless without execution. Before you bring a coconceived idea to fruition, make certain that your partner plans to be around for the long haul.

Ms. Inventor
thinks she’s created the next billion-dollar widget. She enjoys giving two-hour dissertations on Chinese electrical engineering standards to investors and making business decisions based on “nice people” and “gut feelings.” Ms. Inventor doesn’t really understand the phrase “in the black,” but feels it’s imperative to spend all of the company’s investment proceeds on research and development.

Brilliant academics do not necessarily make brilliant business people. Make sure that your partner understands the difference between theory and reality, has her feet on the ground, and isn’t a robot disguised as a human being.

Mr. Always Right
will be the first person to tell you that he is never wrong. His favorite phrase is “my way or the highway.” He will rarely discuss his decision-making process, because he views such discussions as a weakness. He enjoys demeaning any partners who don’t agree with him, and making vital decisions without telling them. Funny thing about Mr. Right: He always seems to blame everyone but himself when his plans don’t pan out—and he actually turns out to be wrong.

Communication is the key to a successful partnership. Find a collaborator, not a dictator. No one is
always
right.

Ms. Dreamer
will say this line a lot: “One day, when we’re millionaires . . .” She loves talking about retiring by 29 and imagining how she’ll spend her hypothetical millions on a gold-plated yacht that she’ll dock off the coast of her private island. One small problem with Ms. Dreamer: She doesn’t seem to know how to keep the business above water from month to month.

Big paydays come from years of hard work and persistence, not excessive rambling and daydreaming. It’s important that your partner be both positive and optimistic, but it is equally important that she be grounded and focused.

Mr. Spender
can’t possibly survive without a six-figure salary, lavish office, and an in-house cigar roller. Price is no object when it comes to entertaining a client or flying first class. If you’re lucky, Mr. Spender might even invite you to one of the extravagant dinner meetings that he charges on your company’s corporate card.

I cannot emphasize it enough: There is
no such thing
as an unlimited checkbook. Team up with fiscally conservative, financially responsible individuals who strive to make every dollar benefit your company’s growth and development, not their personal lifestyles.

Ms. Vacation
seems nice enough. I’d tell you more about Ms. Vacation, but I don’t know much about her. She never seems to be around.

No-shows are deadweights who eat away profits. Only work with people who will strive to earn breaks—not those who feel entitled to them.

Mr. Personal Issues
goes by many names, including Mr. Broke or Mr. Poor Me. He always has a sad story to tell. On the same day as your company’s keynote presentation at the big conference, his son’s wisdom teeth needed to be pulled and his dog died of pneumonia. He would love to attend next week’s investor meeting, but he’s probably going to be tied up all day at his divorce hearing. Unfortunately, Mr. Personal Issues can’t afford his legal bills, so he’ll need to pull a little more money out of the company this month to keep his ex-wife from taking 50 percent of his equity in the settlement. But he promises that this will be the
last
time he needs money . . . really.

You’re not in business to be a babysitter or a psychiatrist. If a potential partner seems to have a few screws loose, run as fast as you can in the other direction.

DON’T CONSIDER LETTING WORTHLESS FLAKY PEOPLE TRY OUT

This mnemonic device is one of my favorites; I use it to qualify prospective partners, advisors, or teammates. My phrase—“Don’t Consider Letting Worthless Flaky People Try Out”—represents the following seven-item checklist:

These quality tests will assess your prospective partners’ personalities and character traits, and help you to determine whether they are the right fits for your entrepreneurial endeavors.

Dependability
. Someone who isn’t dependable will be a detriment to both your own and your company’s reputation. When you consider whether you can rely on someone, ask yourself questions that put his or her level of commitment and steadfastness into perspective. Would this person put the start-up before personal matters? Can he or she get the job done with or without you in a similar fashion and timeline as you could? Will that person be around today, tomorrow, and 10 years from now? If something happened to you, would your business flourish and thrive—or crumble under your partner’s leadership?

Never bind yourself to people who are inconsistent, unpredictable, or erratic; otherwise, no one will be around to help you hang your “Going Out of Business” sign.

Character
. Finding smart, dependable, and trustworthy partners is only half the battle. If their personalities clash with yours at every turn, you’ll be able to clock your divorce with an egg timer. Study each of your candidate’s character traits and habits. Are you long lost brothers or polar opposites? Which of his or her qualities are complimentary to yours, if any? Which can’t you stand? Do any make your blood boil? Can you stand the thought of sitting in a room with this person for 24 hours? Would you even care to try?

Before you sign on the dotted line make sure you can happily visualize working side by side with your partner every day for years to come. Don’t work with anyone who makes you want to swing from the rafters, dangling from a rope. (After all, it’s quite difficult for a busy entrepreneur to find the time to run a business while hatching a scheme to make a murder look like an accident.)

Loyalty
. Plain and simple—you can’t buy loyalty. And if someone’s is for sale, they’re about as loyal as a hungry rabies-infested dog looking for a meal. Determine whether your potential partner is more likely to look out for your combined interests or merely his own. When times get tough, will this person be shoulder-to-shoulder with you or duck and run for cover? Will he or she be by your side to the bitter end—or stab you in the back?