NEVER GOODBYE (An Albany Boys Novel) (8 page)

I can only blame myself since I did the disappearing act at a party of near strangers, leaving my phone in her bag. But I know April, that girl will stalk my every move until I spill.

Vaun had offered to take Benny and me into town and spend the day together and, God, I want that. But he was up all night with me. He didn’t drink or have fun with his friends at his own party because of me and now he’s so damn tired he’s sleeping like a big baby and I don’t have the heart to wake him.
Chicken
. 

So, instead I uncurl myself from his body and grimace when his breathing becomes uneven for a few moments before returning back to a steady rhythm. I want to kiss his angelic face, but dare not in case he awakens.

It may be the very thing I regret the most in my entire life.

***

I’m not normally a girl who panics, but it took me over twenty minutes to make my way back to the house and I can’t find April anywhere. I’ve looked and grimaced at all the sleeping or comatose bodies I can find, I even called her name through the thin walls of the tents outside. One tent grunts before telling me to come in and join them ― I don’t freakin’ think so ― I politely decline and ask if they’ve seen her, but all that follows is another grunt, so I take that as a no. The answer from the second tent is where I almost lose my shit. April and Carter Walsh are in one of the bedrooms inside.
What the hell?

I all but break out into a sweat and head for the house again with no idea which bedroom I would find her in, or in what state. All I can think about is Mister Campbell. Sure, Carter seemed nice and is one of Vaun’s friends, but what if Mister Campbell found her and took out his rage on her? Although, April can definitely hold her own, it still worries me. And what about that camera? Is this why he carries it around, to film his conquests or something?

Politeness isn’t at the forefront when I barge into the first bedroom and find … well, let’s just say,
boom-chucka-wah-wah.
I not only blush but I close that door damn fast and am thankful none of the three are April. I just wish I hadn’t seen more of Luke then I’d prefer to ever see.

The next door I try turns out to be a closet, the next I don’t bother with because I’ve been there; it’s the bathroom. I have to round the corner of the hall to get to the next door which is the master bedroom it seems. Thankfully it’s un-occupied and I wonder where Luke and Vaun’s parents are. I know if I found out my kids were having a party with underage … everything, I’d probably go ballistic on their asses.

The last door has to be Carter’s, which is Murphy’s Law, I guess, and it doesn’t surprise me one bit. What does surprise me is that when I open the door I find my cousin in a white tee that’s as long as a nighty, she’s asleep, lying on the edge of a bed with her arm hanging over the edge. Carter is on a makeshift bed on the floor below her, his camera nowhere to be seen. It’s totally sweet and nothing what I expect from April.

Carter wakes without a sound from me; I’m too lost in the sweetness of April to utter a word. He smiles, stretches and sits up before pecking April on the cheek. I don’t know why, but I feel like an intruder and I duck back out the door and wait in the hall.

I have to say, it doesn’t take April long before she is out of that room and wrapping her arms around me so tight I think I might go blue. Then, just like that, she lets me go and smacks my arm. Hard.

“What the hell?” I squeal, rubbing my arm and staring at her dagger eyes. Yep, if she could stab me a hundred times with those eyes she would.

“What the eff?”

Carter comes out of the room and winks at me before kissing the side of April’s head, his camera catching their goodbye moment. I kinda wished I thought of that. There is a lot in my life I would have loved to capture on film, not only for myself, but more so for Benny when I’m gone.

“Call me when you get home,” he says sweetly before walking round the corner and out of sight. I think my heart just swelled and I look at my cousin who suddenly looks a little sad.

“Say it ain’t so. April Gillespie has lost her shit to one boy. What happened to freeing it up, like you suggested the first day of school?”

She looks at me again, this time with softer eyes, and sighs. Yep, my heart swells for this girl and what one solitary boy has done to her. April was a player, not a slut, though. She’s picky that way, but she loves the attention. Though, as I look at my cousin right now, I can see the difference, I can see that Carter Walsh has stolen her heart and I love him for it because she needs someone to love and to love her back.

I wrap my arm around her and peck her cheek, “Come on. I have to get Benny to Karate and you need to fill me in on what happened last night with Carter.”

She squeezes me back and we walk with our arms around each other to the car in blissful silence, dreaming about the boys of Albany who have altered our lives.

It’s not far to my house and within ten minutes I’m home and I’ve had an earful of how sweet Carter is. But not before promising to call her as soon as I’m home so she can come over and drill me about my night with Vaun. Apparently it went through the whole party quicker than food poisoning in India that Vaun and the new girl had run off together. She didn’t tell me what else they had said, but I can imagine. Rumors are pure chum to the sharks of Albany high school.

I wonder how Vaun will react to the rumors; he doesn’t seem to be the kind to sit back over these things. I wish I woke him up before I left like I said I would. I wish we could’ve shared just one more kiss before we became ‘just friends’. And I wish … we could be starting out something beautiful like Carter and April.

Vaun

              My eyes won’t open and for a millisecond I think there’s something wrong with them. Then I recall my perfect night with Harper, my Blue Bird, and I reach for her soft skin only to feel the smoothness of the blanket. Suddenly my eyes are open, no longer struggling because there’s no way she would leave after what we promised, after what we shared. Yet, as I look at the blanket and then the emptiness of my surroundings and then glance at my watch, I realize. Nine-eleven. What time did she say she had to take her brother to Karate?

              Jesus-fracking-Christ, she left. I fell asleep and she didn’t wake me. We fell asleep in each other’s arms only an hour ago. I know this because I waited until I could hear her soft little snore and her cute sleep-talk. What she said made no sense at all except when she said my name and smiled. I’ll never forget that. I would have stayed awake listening for her to say it again, but my body betrayed me and the Sandman knocked me out.

I wish she had woken me. I wish had I fought harder against the pull of sleep. I wish she had’ve wanted to be with me as much as I want to be with her because all I want is to be with her.

              I don’t know what happened to her to make her the way she is and I’m almost too scared to find out, but if I want to be with her I need to accept it. Whatever it is I will accept it because I know already that I can’t live without her. Insane considering the time frame of knowing her, maybe. Probably. But I knew the moment I saw her dance across the stage like she was free from the world; she was what I was waiting for.

              I leave the blanket and trash in the bed of the truck and start the engine, grateful that I remembered to turn off the ignition after Blue needed a light so she could pee. It was so cute hearing her squeal when I asked her if she wanted my help. Lost in memory and with speed, I head toward the house. I don’t care that there are people asleep on the deck and chairs and …
in the flower bed
. Fracking Craig, you idiot. I quickly check the house to make sure she isn’t there and then bolt back for the truck, wishing for the first time since I bought her that I’d bought something sleek and fast.

              Breaking almost all the road laws I make it to Blue’s street and my heart’s in my throat as I take the corner I had the brains to ask her where she lived last night. She doesn’t like her new home, but as I pull up to the white, wood house I don’t see what’s not to like. Then again, I know better than most it’s not about what it looks like. I live in one of the most desired homes in the county and never has it felt like home. I miss my mom’s house and I’ll never forgive my dad for selling it. If I could have afforded the mortgage I would have lived there by myself, but that was an unrealistic dream for a seventeen year old kid and I had enough sense to realize that. I’m just glad I could keep her nursery going, even if it means I spend most of my free time there.

              Jogging to the front door I can’t catch my breath and I know it’s not because I’m unfit. In the back of my mind I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, she has changed her mind on our deal. She’s probably worked out she can do better than me and she’s right. Yet I’m not letting her go without a good fight.

              I knock and wince. It was a little harder and louder than I intended and I hope I don’t upset her father ‘cause the sheer thought of meeting him almost has me shitting myself. The guy works on demolition and I can only imagine this hulked father coming for me because I kissed his daughter. I don’t do fathers, mothers, parental figures at all. They see the selfish jerk in me right away and want me to stay clear of their daughters. Only the ones with price tags in their eyes let me past the door. Little do they know, I won’t be taking any of my father’s money.

              A small boy in a white Karate uniform opens the door and frowns. Ben. He doesn’t really look like his sister, but there are traits I see in him right away like his eyes. Not the Blue Jay color, that’s hers alone it seems, but the almond shape is definitely a family trait.

              “Hello,” he says with raised brows.

              “Hi, Ben. Is your sister here?”

              He’s visibly taken by surprise that I know his name and I smile. “I’m your sister’s b ... best friend. I’m taking you both to you Karate lesson today.”

              “She has a
boy
for a best friend?” Then he laughs and pulls the door open for me to enter. “I can’t wait to see Aunt June’s face when she hears that. She’s gonna have a conniption.” He laughs again and I enter, chortling to myself. “She’s in the shower, I’ll tell her you’re here.”

              “Wait. Can I?”

              Again the brows and I laugh. “I won’t be peeping at your sister. I just want to surprise her.”

              Ben seems to ponder this for a second and then shrugs. “Whatever. I was watching
Ben10
anyway. But no peeking at her or I’ll have to kick your ass.” He waves at his karate uniform so I’m clear he has the ninja moves to take me out. I don’t know what a blue belt in karate means, but I’ll take his word for it.

              I’m laughing again and I know I’m gonna love this kid. He has spunk. “I promise, and while she gets dressed I’ll come watch it with ya. I love
Ben 10
. Is it the teen years?”

              “Nah, just before.”

              “Awesome. They’re the best.”

              Ben grins. “Totally.” And then he shows me the bathroom door and heads away to watch his cartoons.

              I want to peek, I really do. But I won’t, and not just because I promised a ten year old, but because I have more respect for my Blue Bird than that. When she allows me to see her, that’s when I’ll see her.

              I can hear the shower and its turning me on, or more specifically, thoughts of her naked under the shower are turning me on and I almost walk away. Almost. Instead my shaking hand knocks on the white door and I try to steady myself.

              “Benny, I’ll be just a minute and then we’ll go.”

              My cheeks hurt from the grin her annoyed tone brings. I’ve not heard her annoyed before. “Did you forget something this morning, Blue Bird?”

              There is silence; all but the sound of the shower and now it was gone as well.

              “Harper?”

              The door swings open and I’m engulfed in steam before I see her flushed, wet face. I want to kiss her more than anything, but I remember the rules. Best friends don’t kiss. 

              “
Vaun
?”

              The way she says my name makes my chest … I don’t know … fill. Christ, she is something.

              “Vaun, what are you doing?”

              My eyes betray me and they begin to follow a drop of water that is sliding down her long neck, over her collar bone, down to where she’s clutching her towel and I’m jealous of what that bead of water is able to caress. I want to feel her wet skin and the heat of her flushed blood beneath it. I want to …

              “Vaun. Knock it off.”

              I snap back and look at her eyes. They aren’t angry, like her voice suggests, they’re hot for me. I groan as I back off and lean back against the hallway wall because right then I was so damn tempted to shove her back in that bathroom and show her what best friend should never do.

              “Vaun,” she sighs and I realize I’m doing it again and grin.

              “Sorry. I can’t help it when you’re standing there in a towel all wet and … Harper, go get dressed before I lose this battle.”

              “Battle?”

              I cock my eyes at her and look back at her cleavage, which I want to dip my tongue into and lick the beads of water from, and then back at her eyes.

              “Oh.”

              “Yeah. So if you value our new arrangement, I’d suggest you get dressed so we can get your brother to his Karate lesson on time.”

              “Okay,” she whispers as she slips out and pads to the second door on the right. I make note of where her bedroom is before heading back the other way to where Ben said he was watching
Ben10
. I need some innocent cartoon time.

              There are no other pictures on the walls yet, other than the ones at the front door. Why them and no others? I want to see pictures of Blue on the wall, happy and with her family. Although, it is only over a week since they moved here so I should give them a break. I know from experience how long it takes to get your shit the way you like when you move. My place at the nursery is my refuge so it has everything I have left in the world. At my fathers, I have a room, which is minimal since the house is my father’s and step-mother’s and they like the minimal look. Minimal love, minimal happiness, minimal personality. Just minimal. Whereas Mom, she was almost a hoarder; she kept everything that I ever made her, and I mean everything. There was a noodle necklace from pre-K that hung from the mirror in her room for as long as I can remember. I still have it. So when I say my place, I don’t mean the one at my father’s. My place, my
home
is at the nursery.