Never Google Heartbreak (38 page)

Well if you want to have a total laugh and an easy life I’d recommend falling in love with your best friend because a) they actually like you, and b) they get you, which is a good start.

You leave us imagining Max and Viv’s reunion at the very end (darn you!). What do you think the future holds for them?

Well the last I heard of them they were rolling along trying to make it together and Viv is already pregnant so they are about to become parents, which will be fun all round.

Lastly, I heard a terrible rumour that there is an astounding similarity between Christie and your fair editor. Surely this is paparazzi fodder?

All I’ll say to that is this; Christie can sometimes be amazingly efficient.

Emma’s first taste of romance came after a BMX championship final, when she was pipped at the post by Bev Batty
¹
and found comfort in the arms of a fidgety vegan in a mohair jumper who taught her to snog with tongues.
²

After graduating from university, she worked as a teacher and travelled around Asia before returning to London and taking up a job designing children’s puzzles in an airless office staffed by oddballs and lunatics.
³

She remained single despite talk of marriage in
1994
⁴
and actual marriage plans in
2002
.
⁵
Finally, disillusioned and turning her back on love, she became a near recluse in the shadowy back streets of Clapham. One evening she met someone who made her ‘feel funny’ and found she didn’t enjoy being away from him. Luckily he liked her, so they ran away to York where they still live today with their three children, Frankie, Rafael and Lula.

Emma has written and illustrated three children’s picture books.
⁶

1
An old arch-rival and love enemy.

2
He later turned out to be weird and had a secret collection of photos of her.

3
She had various flings with all of them except ‘potato head’ Stuart.

4
He joined a travelling dance troupe and therefore couldn’t commit.

5
His third eye told him that their auras were misaligned. He also smelled . . . Okay, he didn’t smell.

6
Really popular with under-threes.