Never Let Me Go (36 page)

“Have you never been in your Aunt Livie’s pool before?” I asked, trying to figure out what she was afraid of.

“Yes, but with floaties.”

She sounded so timid that I just wanted to hug her and vow to teach her another day. I immediately pushed that idea out of my head. We were already there, already prepared for a swimming lesson.

“Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret, cutie. With or without floaties, I won’t ever let you drown. I promise.” I grabbed a handful of water, pouring it over the top of her head. She leaned her head back and let me continue until her hair was completely soaked. She held on to me, but not quite as tightly as she had when we were at the beach. “You ready?”

She nodded, but she still looked uncertain.

“I’m going to lay you down, okay? Just trust me. I won’t let you go until you tell me to.” I placed a hand against her stomach, easing her forward until she was lying face down in the water, her head sticking up. I ran my hands up her arms until I was only grasping her hands.

“MICHELE!” she screamed. “YOU PROMISED!”

There was a murmur of simultaneous laughter, and I shot the people on the back patio a glare. “Skylar, I’ve got you. Do you trust me?”

She nodded slowly.

“Okay, then.” I held her hands until they were over her head and stretched out in front of her. “Kick your legs like I taught you at the beach. Do you remember how?”

Amber eyes blazing, she kicked her little legs behind her as fast as she could.

“Good job, Sky!” I turned around, my eyes meeting Hayden’s. “Baby, get in here. I want to try something.”

He glanced at me skeptically, but he complied. He kicked off his sandals and stripped his shirt off in a single movement. I told Skylar to continue kicking while I waited for her dad to join us. Once he was in the water, I beckoned him over.

“Okay, cutie, now, Daddy’s gonna hold you up. I want you to move your arms like I showed you last time. Can you do that for me?”

When she didn’t comply or even acknowledge my question, I stepped back, letting her hands go once I was sure that Hayden had her. I propelled my hands the way that I was taught when I learned how to swim many years ago, and then I smiled. “Move your hands like I’m moving mine, Sky.”

Determination etched I her features, she moved her arms exactly how I showed her. She continued doing that until I thought she was getting the hang of it.

“When you’re ready—and not until you’re ready—you tell Daddy when, and he’ll let you go. When he lets go, you’re gonna swim to me, okay?” With my words, she looked like she was going to vomit.

“No! Don’t let go!” She turned around to look at Hayden. “DON’T LET GO!”

Hayden choked back a laugh and he shook his head. “I won’t until you tell me to, honey.”

She glared at him, and she continued waving her arms and kicking her legs. I didn’t know how long we stood there, watching her do the same thing over and over again before her lower lip quivered and she reached for me.

“Daddy, I wanna swim,” she said, her teeth chattering. “Let me go.”

I took a deep breath and shot Hayden a quick glance. I wasn’t going to let her drown. She kicked her legs forcefully and swam, splashing water all around her. The sounds of laughter and cheering sounded behind me, and I turned to glance at all of Hayden and Skylar’s family, standing on the edge of the pool and cheering her on.

“Go Skylar! You can do it, sweetie!” Summer exclaimed, clapping her hands enthusiastically.

“You can do it, cutie,” I said, holding my arms out as she spluttered and gasped, not letting the deep water get the best of her. She continued to swim toward me, her small body moving consistently as she struggled to reach her destination.

“Come on, baby, you can do it!” Hayden yelled from behind her. “You can do it!”

With a few more kicks of her legs and some swings of her arms, she reached me, and I grabbed her, pulling her above the water and positioning her on my hip. I ran my hand along the top of her hair, smoothing it out of her face. She coughed a bit, but all in all, she looked like she was okay.

“Michele! I was swimming! I was swimming all by myself!” She looked so excited, an enormous grin forming on her face. “Let’s do it again!”

With a laugh, I shrugged at Hayden. “Well, okay, then!”

And for the next three hours, that’s just what we did.

…

I was walking through Livie and Spencer’s home, just coming from changing in the bathroom when I heard the sound of hushed voices talking.

“After Samantha, I didn’t think any girl was good enough for you, HJ,” a voice said—presumably Jourdan’s.

“C’mon, Jo. You don’t have to look out for me
every
time I open up to a girl,” Hayden said.

Laughter filled the room. “Yeah I do! Especially when Asher’s not around. I have to be his eyes and ears. But seriously, I never thought anyone was good enough for you.”

There was a long silence, and I leaned against the wall just outside the kitchen, unable to resist listening to their conversation.

“Do my ears deceive me?” Hayden joked. “Is there a
but
coming on?”

“Maybe.” It was silent again for a while. “She’s
sensational
, Hayden. I never thought any girl would ever be good enough for you, but Michele comes pretty damn close.” She paused. “I’ve never seen another woman act like that with Sky. Not even her own mother. Michele acts like Skylar is hers. And given what’s happened, I think that’s exactly what the two of you need. I’m happy for you.”

I covered my mouth with my hand, tears springing to my eyes. I didn’t know Jourdan, but I was touched by what she’d said about me. I didn’t know how to react, really.

“Well, thanks, Jo. It means a lot that you like Michele.” Hayden’s voice got lower. “I happened to notice though, you haven’t been drinking today. Are you and Ash having another baby?”

“Yeah, we are. How did you know?”

“Please, Jourdan. You can knock ‘em back like nobody’s business. If you’re not drinking, there’re only three possibilities: you’re sick, hung-over, or pregnant.”

“Goddammit, HJ! We didn’t want to tell anyone yet but your perceptive ass had to go and ruin everything!” Her laughter filled the kitchen. “Just keep it quiet for now. Asher wants to wait.”

I could hear movement in the kitchen, and then silence again. “No problem. Congratulations.”

“Thanks. I better get back outside before Kayla and Eli have a fucking fit.”

I waited until I heard the backdoor close, and then I made my way into the kitchen. Hayden’s eyes brightened when he caught sight of me.

“Damn, love. Did I tell you how sexy you look in my shirt?” He reached out for me, pulling me up against him. He dug his fingers into my waist, lifting me up and setting me on the kitchen counter. “Like really, really sexy?”

I grinned, opening my legs so that he could position himself between them. “You may have mentioned it once or twice.”

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him in for a light kiss.

Even after everything that had happened, even after I willingly chose him, I
still
couldn’t quite believe that he was mine, that he wanted me, that he desired me and loved me.

It felt almost too good to be true, like the other shoe would drop any moment, and I knew the only reason I felt that way was because that was how things had always been with Brody.

“Thank you,” Hayden whispered, his words flying through my hair.

I looked up at him, eyebrows raised. “For what?”

He reached around my waist, pulling me so that I was basically hanging on the edge, with only him to hold me up. He gave a kiss to my collarbone, sighing against my neck. “For being here.” He gave a kiss to my jaw. “For wanting to spend time with my family.” He kissed my nose. “For loving Skylar.” He kissed the edge of my mouth. “For teaching her how to swim.” His hands ran up my sides as he leaned in and kissed me on the lips, his mouth opening only slightly. “For loving me.” His tongue grazed my lower lip, and he sighed again. “For
choosing
me.”

I nodded, responding to his fervor with some of my own, wrapping my legs around his waist and holding him exactly where he was.

“If we’re being honest,” I pulled away, letting him gasp as he realized that I was breaking out kiss, “there was never any competition.” I ran my hands up his back and moved them around so that they were touching his bare stomach. “I think I’ve loved you from the moment that I saw you.” I ran my hands up his chest, grinning against his kiss. “I never make a promise that I can’t keep.” I grazed my fingers up his torso until they rested against his neck. “I’ll always love Skylar.” I reached around and grabbed a tuft of his hair. “I love your family because I love you.” And finally, I tugged his head backward by pulling on his hair. “And I’ll be here as long as you want me to be.”

He chuckled, and I caught his laugh with a kiss. He pulled away, glancing down at me. “You promise?”

I grinned, unable to contain myself. I bit my lower lip, looking up at him seductively through lowered lashes. “Of course, baby. I never make a promise I can’t keep.”

He pulled away, his eyes roaming from my lips, down to my breasts, which were barely exposed through the opened fabric of his button down, to my stomach that was peeking out below the knot that I’d created, to my thighs as they wrapped around his waist, and then back up so that his gaze met mine.

“I can’t believe that I found you, Mich.” He said my name like a silent prayer. “You’re
perfect
.”

I shook my head, closing my eyes and leaning forward so that my forehead rested against his. I shook my head again as my breathing labored. I looked up at him again, tears springing to my eyes.

“No, I’m not,” I whispered. “But you make me want to be.”

He gave me the biggest smile that I’d seen on him yet, and he kissed me on the lips hastily before pulling away entirely, our limbs untangling themselves from each other. He turned away and braced his hands on the sink, staring out the window. I could hear him chuckling, deep and low in his throat, and then he raised his head before turning around to look at me.

“
God
, I can’t wait to get you home.”

Chapter Twenty Five

Our second night
together,
together was even better than the first.

We were both sitting on the couch in the living room. My legs were stretched out on his lap, and I was sitting so close to him that I could feel his warm breath on my neck and his whole being against me.

“I woke up to you this morning, and I still couldn’t believe that it was true. I still can’t believe that you chose me,” Hayden said, his head bowed. And something in his voice made me realize he was relieved.

I reached up, my hand grazing his cheek. “Was there ever any doubt?”

Hayden’s head snapped up, and he flashed me a look that said,
really?

I blinked at him, knowing immediately that it was a stupid question, but the equally stupid part of me wanted him to actually answer it.

“Michele, I’m a confident man. I mean, despite my past, I’ve always been a pretty good guy—a good boyfriend at least. I think I’m relatively good-looking—”

“I think you’re sexy,” I interjected.

He grinned, but he held a hand up to silence me.

“Like I said, I’m pretty confident. And when you told me about Brody initially, I thought, okay, cool, I can definitely win a competition against a memory of a guy. Then he gets here and suddenly he’s not just a memory anymore. He’s
here
, in the fucking flesh, and he’s pulling the girl I love in for a kiss. The confidence faltered then. But after that, you assured me that nothing was going to change between us, regardless of Brody’s sudden appearance. And believe me, I wanted to believe you and trust in those words more than anything, even though I knew that they weren’t true.” He paused, running his hands up and down along my leg.

“This whole time, Michele, I wanted to believe you. I wanted to believe that you cared for me enough to let the fantasy of Brody go. But I’m not going to lie to you. When I found out that you kept agreeing to give him another chance from me, part of me broke because I believed that I’d already lost. And then when you didn’t fight me when I told you to go on dates with him and see where it took you, another part of me broke.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but he stopped me. Again.

“I know.
I know
. I told you to do it, and I made you think that it would make me feel better. But every second of every minute that I wasn’t with you, I was wondering if you were with him.” He smiled. “Then, you came to Sky’s party. And you rushed over here when I told you that we needed you. And I believed that we’d finally won you over, that we finally had you to ourselves.” He closed his eyes for a long moment. “And then, you told me that he was your first love and you had to go back to him. Honestly, Michele, you could have punched me in the gut, smacked me in the face, and then ran me over with a car, and none of that would have hurt half as much as hearing those words come out of your mouth.”