Never Letting Go (Delphian Book 1) (16 page)

I
LOOKED UP
from the piece of paper in my hand to the tall abandoned building. It was an old development, scheduled to be demolished in a few weeks. They wanted to build a new condo unit.

I walked slowly into the foyer, glancing around cautiously, then took the stairs up to the fifth floor like the note had said to. I reached the apartment noted in Liam’s familiar writing, opened the door, and slowly walked in.

I felt like maybe I would recognize the place. I mean, I had been here before. But nothing was familiar. It was cold and sterile, and I wanted to turn around and run.

“Sorry I had to make you take the stairs. You know, lack of electricity and all.”

I inhaled at the voice coming from behind me and slowly turned, seeing a face I hadn’t seen in such a long, long time.

“Liam…”

He smiled back at me. It was the same smile I was used to, but his eyes were dark.

Cold.

“God, you look so beautiful in that dress,” he breathed, moving to hug me, but I stepped back.

He frowned at my action. “What, are you afraid of me now?”

I shook my head quickly. “Liam, that’s not—”

“See, I knew this would work,” he interrupted. “I knew I could bring you back by sacrificing those girls—she was right.”

My eyes narrowed. “She?”

It didn’t sound like he was talking about Sabina.

He went on like he never heard me. “Now we can be together, the way it’s supposed to be.”

“No.”

He looked at me strangely. “No?” he said quietly. “What do you mean, no?”

“We can’t be together, Liam. I’m with Ethan.”

“Ethan?” he said, laughing. “Ethan’s dead.”

“So am I.”

“What are you talking about?” The confusion was apparent on his face. “You’re right here. I brought you back.”

“I’m dead, Liam. I died. You didn’t bring me back. Killing those girls didn’t suddenly bring me back to life.”

“You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not,” I said carefully. “I’m one of the undead, a reaper. A Grim.”

“Grim?”

“When people pass, I bring them over to the other side. That’s my role now. But see, you have to be dead to do that. I’m not alive right now. I died a long time ago in your arms … remember?”

“No,” he whispered.

“Yes. I’m a different Sophia now. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t say anything for the longest time, he just stared down at the ground. “I had you, didn’t I, in this place? You were here before when I accidentally took that other girl, too.”

I nodded. “Yes.” I knew he was referring to Amy. “I’ve been here before.”

“No!” he said louder, swallowing thickly. He stared me straight in the face. “You’re not the one that got away, you’re the one that’s here to stay. I don’t believe you. It’s Ethan’s fault, isn’t it? He’s making you say these things.”

I shook my head. “No…”

“I don’t know how, but he took a piece of you with him every day that he was gone. He died, Sophia. He
dies
and you still couldn’t let him go?”

“Liam…” I whispered softly.

“I read your journal, you know. You just left me and I needed answers. You wrote everything in there, how you’d visit him in your sleep. It couldn’t be real, I kept telling myself. And then I went to see that girl and she showed me everything. How the line between the living and the dead is blurred.” He stepped forward and grabbed my wrist tightly and tugged. I tried not to cry out in pain. “How
close
you really were to me. How sometimes people can easily cross over to the land of the dead and vice versa.”

“Liam, you’re hurting me.”

He ignored me, continuing, “Especially when emotions are heightened … like with you.” I felt the bruises being branded on my skin with every word.

“I love you,” he said pleadingly. “Why couldn’t you love me back?”

“I do love you.” Tears welled in my eyes as I stared at my best friend. “Don’t you get it, Liam? I do love you. But I’m
in
love with Ethan. There’s a difference.”

“Ethan,” he spat. “Why does he get everything? Even dead he gets every goddamn thing, including my best friend, my love.”

“His love,” I whispered firmly.

“
My
love,” he stated. “I had you first. Remember, we’re each other’s halves.”

“I remember.”

“So will you stay with me? Soph, I need to hear you say it.”

I nodded, trying to placate him. “Yes … I’ll stay with you. But you have to kill yourself for that to happen.”

I felt the grip on my wrist loosen as he faltered.
“What?”

“I’m a Grim Reaper, Liam. It’s the only reason I’m here, not because you killed those girls. It’s because I killed myself that I’m here. If you do it too, we can get back what we had.”

“You’re a Grim Reaper.” He stared at me for the longest time. “And you really want me to kill myself?”

“Yes,” I said with a nod.

“This is crazy,” he breathed.

“No, it’s not.”

I moved until I was inches away from him, then wrapped my arms around him. I closed my eyes, remembering the boy with the puppy dog eyes that I would do anything for.

“Just trust me.” I took his hand and pulled him toward the balcony, opening the sliding door.

I had to believe it was the chill of the night that made me shudder. I stepped outside and turned to stare at Liam who still waited by the threshold.

“Come on,” I urged, reaching a hand out to him.

He stepped tentatively outside, then stood next to me. He looked over the side of the balcony then turned to face me. “You want me to…”

“Jump.”

He looked pained. “I can’t.”

I stared firmly back at him. “You can and you will.”

Liam placed his hands on the railing, gripping hard. I watched silently as I held my breath, tears gathering in my eyes that my vision almost blurred, then closed my eyes.

I didn’t have the guts to watch him fall to his death.

“I can’t.”

My heart sat uncomfortably in my chest, and the tears decided to fall. “Why couldn’t you just do it, Liam?” I stepped forward and buried my face in his chest. “I do love you,” I said, and he tightened his hold on me. “Please know that.”

“I do,” he mumbled against me. I felt his own tears coat my skin. “I love you, too. That’s why I can’t do it.”

I looked up at his face, tears streaming down my chin. He saw the look of regret in my eyes and shook his head in confusion.

“Soph…”

“Do you remember the first time we met? We were five years old. That was when you lived right next door to me.”

He nodded slightly. “You had just moved in.”

“That’s right,” I said, encouraged. “I was sad that I had moved away from all my friends and I was lying on the grass in the backyard near the fence that we shared. Then all of a sudden I hear this little voice ask me what I’m doing.”

A smile ghosted his lips. “You turned around and you were confused, not knowing where the voice came from.”

“Over here, see?” Little fingers fluttered at the base of the fence. I walked over closer and sat down, noticing a hole in the fence that had a hand sticking out. The hand quickly retreated and was replaced by an inquisitive eye.

“So, what are you doing?” he asked.

“I was looking at the stars…”

Before he could say anything else, I took the knife that Sabina had given me—which had been tucked inside my thigh high stockings—and shoved it straight into his chest. Liam’s eyes widened in shock and he took a step back, staring down at the blade protruding from his body.

His eyes went to mine. “No…” he breathed painfully.

“I’m sorry.” Giving him a final kiss, I took his soul away from his body before he fell over the balcony and dropped to the ground.

I peered over the balcony, staring down at his damaged body.

“It’s better this way,” I murmured, stepping back as I regarded the soul of my dead best friend beside me. He looked back at me, puzzled at what had just happened. I smiled, seeing some of the darkness disappearing in his eyes, yet trying my best not to show my pain and heartache.

I just killed my best friend.

“Soph…” he said softly. He looked down at his body lying on the ground levels down, then stared back at me, eyes frightened. “What did you do?”

“I promise you, Liam,” I said, ignoring his questions. “It will be better this way. I’m giving you another chance. To right what’s wrong. You’ll be Grim, like me. I’ll take you to the
in-between
and make sure you become Grim. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

He laid tormented eyes on me and I knew a piece of Liam had still not returned. Even though I was staring at my best friend, I felt like I was staring at a stranger.

“I promise,” I said again.

I sure hoped I was right.

I
FINALLY MADE
it back to the apartment I shared with Ethan about an hour later.

Closing the door behind me, I rested against it, sighing.

“Rough night?”

I smiled at the sound of Ethan’s voice and looked over at him standing by the couch.

I gave him a hug, burying my face in his chest, trying to forget the entire day, wishing I had never woken up.

He pulled back slightly. “You okay, Kitty Cat?”

I nodded. “Yeah … just a long night. I’m glad it’s over.”

That was an understatement. Bringing CJ to Hell and Liam to the
in-between
had wrecked me. Seeing Liam again was tough, and I did what I had to do. But I knew there would be repercussions.

I just hoped Ethan would forgive me.

I stepped away and turned the music up on my phone, playing some popular song I kept hearing everywhere. I shook the hem of my dress at him playfully. “Since we’re still dressed up and all…” I extended a hand. “May I have this dance?”

He looked back at my hand, smiling, then walked over to me, pulling me close.

“Stop stealing all my lines, Kitty Cat.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and breathed him in, the both us of rocking back and forth to the melancholy music surrounding us.

“We did it,” I sighed against his chest, for the first time in a long time feeling … happy.

We successfully did our reaps, the Liam I knew was back and no longer able to hurt any more girls, and I was wrapped up in the arms of my love.

“Yes,” he said simply, kissing the side of my face, then my neck.

“My love,” I sighed into his chest.

“My heart,” he said back, holding me even closer as we danced.

My soul.

I turned just in time to see lightning light up the sky so brilliantly that for a brief moment, the darkness had turned to day. I smiled softly at what I saw before me, then turned to stare back at Ethan.

“There’s no one I love more than you,” I said quietly into the darkness. “Remember that.”

He didn’t say anything in return, just grasped my fingers with his, brought them closely to his face, and kissed the inside of my palm.

My eyes fluttered shut and I basked in the sensation, tried to sear it to memory. We stayed like that … seemed like hours … but it was only minutes, happy just being with one another.

I glanced up at him, still swaying to the melody of the song. “I have something to tell you.”

He studied the worried look on my face and frowned. “What is it?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but at that exact moment the song ended, the final note ringing in my ears. I noticed a change in the air and I swallowed. Something was wrong. I felt surrounded, like I couldn’t breathe. Like I was being suffocated. Closing my eyes, I tried breathing one final time.

She had come for me.

“Wha—?”

Hearing Ethan’s exclamation, I opened my eyes, shocked when I stared at my hand against Ethan’s chest. It was faint, like surrounded by a stormy cloud.

Disappearing.

“Ethan?” I said, dread surging through my body. I grasped at his shirt but failed to hold on.

Ethan looked rattled, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he swallowed repeatedly. He looked around the apartment helplessly, shaking his head all the while. His eyes stared straight into mine, wild with fear. “No,” he said. I could see the rage slowly building inside of him and I was scared.

For Ethan.

“No!” he said again, this time louder. He stared up at the ceiling. “Not her, we had a deal! Take me instead!”

“Ethan,” I cried softly, my whole body feeling strange and out of sync, as if humming at its own frequency.

He locked eyes with me again and I froze, unable to look away. “Sophia, no,” he said, a tear running down his cheek, his face inches away from mine, yet I was unable to feel his presence.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to whisper.

Then he was gone.

I saw nothing, just pitch darkness. I walked around in circles, disoriented and confused.

“Everything has consequences, Sophia dear.”

My eyes widened. The voice had come from …
within me
. It was a female voice, eerie, and made my skin crawl.

And the one from my dream when I had made that deadly deal.

“No,” I said again faintly, trembling.

“Yes,” the same voice whispered into my ear. I turned swiftly to see a woman standing in front of me, an evil smirk on her face. She dressed head to toe in blood red, intricate tattoos along her skin that seemed to beat as if each design had its own heartbeat.

“Allow me to formally introduce myself.” She sauntered closer to me and grabbing me by the hand, yanked me forward. “The name’s Jinx. I’ve wanted to meet you ever since I got the scent of your soul. It’s really …
sweet
.”

I couldn’t move away from her grasp. She was strong, so strong, and her fiery eyes seemed to have hypnotized me.

She gave me a knowing look. “You knew what would happen if you interfered with the human world, Sophia,” she stated in an almost reprimanding tone. “You killed a non-reaper and that’s a big no-no. You’ve officially been stripped of your Grim duties effective immediately, so our little deal just went down the drain. Say bye-bye to your lover boy, Ethan. Too bad he couldn’t join us, though. I’m going to
love
adding you to the collection. I think you’ll be my favorite pet.”

As Jinx leaned forward, her eyes started to gleam and the only thing I saw was fire surrounding me as I looked into her eyes. I wanted to scream Ethan’s name but my voice was stuck in my throat.

I knew things would never be the same.

“Welcome to the dark, my sweet.”