Never Say Goodbye (Rebel Walking #6) (11 page)

I try to lift up in the bed and my body tells me to fuck off.  I'm sore as hell and can hardly move.  She notices me trying to move and starts to get a nurse. 

"No."  Ev stops in her tracks. 

"Just set me up higher."  She starts to adjust the bed without ever looking at me.  I want her to look at me and tell me Lilly is okay.  Tell me that this is all a horrible nightmare and I was in a car accident all by myself. 

"Tell me."  She clenches her eyes closed and begins to let the tears roll again.  I look in the room for Talon, but he's not here anymore. 

"Ev.  Tell me Lilly is okay."  She doesn't.  Her attempt to comfort me by grabbing my hand isn't working.  Her grip on my hand is tight and her actions are doing the talking for her. 

I can't breathe past the brick in my throat.  How could this happen?  Everything was starting to work in our favor and now she's gone.  How will I ever learn to live without her when the last few days without her have been hell? 

"Who was driving the other car?" 

She struggles past some cries before she manages to say, "A drunk driver crossed the median."

Memories of me distracting her come to surface, and the image of her smiling face flashes before my eyes.  How could something so beautiful be taken away so harshly? 

She was so young and had never been treated like she deserved.  How can I ever forgive myself for not telling her how I felt about her?

Talon walks in and pulls Ev in for a hug.  He looks over at me and I can see nothing but sympathy.  His stare doesn't accuse me, but I can't keep eye contact with him.  I know this is my fault. 

"Talon.  Tell me."

"She's gone, man."  Assuming and officially hearing are completely different.  His words confirm it.  I can hardly handle this information.  To say I'm losing my shit is an understatement. 

My breathing becomes rapid and everything begins to hurt even worse.  I can't fucking see through the tears draining from my eyes and I can't feel anything past the pain in my chest.

Nausea takes over and I begin vomiting shortly after.  A nurse starts to adjust some of the machines attached to me and it isn't long before I'm falling asleep again.  Sleep is much better than the reality of this.

Every time I wake up I ask for pain medicine.  It's easier to deal with when I'm out cold.  I have no idea how many days and nights go by like this.  My mom and either Ev or Ivy are here every time I wake up.  It's usually Ev, and she doesn't even try to talk to me about Lilly.  She tries to talk about the weather and things that aren’t worth a damn.  

I don't have the energy for small talk or being polite about anything.  The day the nurse forces me out of bed, I decide to ask Ev questions.

"When's the funeral?"

"Tomorrow."

"Did that asshole make it?"

"No.  He died on impact."  I should be banned to hell for my thoughts and I'm not sure I won’t be in the end.

"I need to get out of here before the funeral."

"I asked the doctor if you'd be able to attend and he thinks you'll be released tomorrow.  If not, he'll try to work something out so you can get to the funeral."

"I can't believe this is happening."

"I know, Luke."

This last night in the hospital is the worst.  I begin to feel the pain all over my body.  I'm bruised across my chest and there are multiple cuts all over me.  The doctors are worried about internal bleeding and it doesn’t help that I’m not psychologically ready to be released.

Holden, Talon, Taron, and Ivy all come with Eaven to pick me up from the hospital.  My parents understand my need to be with the group today. 

"We're going to need each other to get through this day," Talon speaks first.  The thought of getting through the day isn't even logical.  How do we say goodbye to someone who means so much to us?

"I got you a suit for today.  You're a pall bearer."  Eaven wraps me up in a hug.

"I need to go by her house.  There's something I need to get."  No one objects, probably because they can hardly hear me over this fucking permanent lump in my throat.

I'm finally released with only two hours before the service.  We race to her house, and it nearly tears us all apart when we pull in to the driveway.  I use my key and open the door, instantly smelling a hint of her perfume in the air. 

Biting down and refusing a complete breakdown quite yet, I go straight for her room.  She has two guitars and I need them both.  I throw both over my shoulder and take one last look around her bedroom.  Memories of her surround me and I fight like hell to keep it together long enough to make it through this day.

Closing my eyes to block the tears, I turn to walk out of her house.  I lock the door and quickly jump back in Talon's truck.  The others don't say a word to me.  That's the problem—none of us know what to say.  There's nothing that can be said to make her come back to us.  We stop at my house so I can change and clean up.

The funeral home is packed when we arrive.  I grab one guitar and leave the other one behind.  We all walk in together, but they all stay behind when I begin to walk toward her.  Her casket is open and I can see her face over the edge as soon as I walk in the door. 

She's so pale and looks nothing like herself.  I fight to find the strength to hold it together, but this shit is getting to me.  How do I say goodbye to my best friend?  The only woman I've learned to love.  Regret washes over me at a lethal rate as I stand there and take in everything my eyes will allow me to see past the tears.

I open the case to her stage guitar and pull off the strap, placing it in my pocket.  I start strumming her song slowly, trying like hell to get through it perfectly.  The people in the foyer begin to listen, but I don't care to play for anyone but her today. 

I play through the song three times before I kiss the strings and slide the guitar into her casket.  I move her cold hands over the neck of the guitar and position them so that she's holding it.  It's only fitting that she be holding her passion when she goes.

The funeral falls upon deaf ears of mine.  The words that are spoken don't sink in at all as I sit there, a shell of myself through the whole thing.  We move her body to the hearse and then again over the hole at the grave site.  I sprinkle dirt over her when it's time and then turn to walk away from everything.  I grab her guitar out of Talon's truck and never turn back.

I keep walking until I make it to my house, staying just long enough to pack a large bag and lock up everything.     

Epilogue

Luke

Life can change in a heartbeat.  Everything you know can become a memory, and the future can be left in the hands of something greater than you can control. 

My life changed the second her heart stopped beating.  I haven't felt anything since she took her last breath.  Leaving the band and everything I knew before was imperative.  I can hardly live with myself, so how do I expect the others to live around me?

My cell phone is in the bottom of a river somewhere between Missouri and California.  The last thing I want to do is talk about it with anyone.  The endless list of girls isn’t welcome, either.  The thought of my old lifestyle repulses me and I have no idea how to overcome all of this.

I work and sleep.  Every day.

It's been six months since I sprinkled dirt over her casket and said goodbye to my best friend in life.  I have so many regrets when it comes to her.  I've played the 'if I would've' game over and over, coming up with the same conclusion every time.  I fucked up.  She died not knowing how I truly felt about her.  Would we have ended up in love, together forever?  We will never know.   

I know that I loved that girl and I had no idea what I had until it was gone.  Her heart was truly amazing and she was a huge inspiration to me.  I've never had anyone care for me so deeply and only want what was in my best interest.  I'll never forget her or our friendship we shared.

I kept her old guitar, and every once in a while I get it out to strum a few songs, hoping she can feel what I'm trying to say.

I've learned a lesson in all of this....

Life is short, but regret seems to last forever. 

Fighting The Odds

Copyright © 2014 Hilary Storm

 Kindle Edition

First Edition

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under
U.S Copyright Act of 1976
, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

This is a work of fiction. Names, character, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

Find out more about the author and upcoming books online at
www.hilarystormwrites.com

Printed in the United States of America

Chapter One

Luke

The mundane repetition of my life is exactly what I deserve.  I'm taking each day at a time and it doesn't help that I can't shake the guilt of not telling Lilly how I felt when I had the time. 

Tonight is the first night I've been anywhere besides the gym or in my tiny apartment.  I work twelve-hour shifts at the factory and barely bring home enough money to pay my bills.  The royalties from the music collect in my bank account, but I refuse to touch them.  I don't want
anything
that'll remind me of my past. 

Music is a huge problem for me.  Every song either reminds me of her, or it's something that 'Rebel Walking' played at one time.  The worst was when I heard
her
song on the radio.  I didn't realize they were going to actually release it after everything that happened.

Parking is ridiculous at the coliseum, so I choose to jog the five miles instead.  This fight is supposed to be between two of the best in the division.  There was an advertisement for it in the gym and I thought it would be interesting to see how it plays out.  Both of these guys are stacked, so it's not like there's a clear cut favorite.  Sure, fans are screaming for each of them, but I'm not impressed enough with either to care who wins.

I watch the fight among the crowd of crazy fans.  The irony of being on this side of the show isn't lost on me.  Neither one of the fighters takes the fight and it comes down to a split decision between the judges.  The fans go wild when Greg ‘The Punisher' Mills takes the victory.

The people don't start to file out for a long time, and I'm in no hurry to leave, either.  People-watching has become a past time of mine, and there's no reason for me to rush home to the empty walls that confine me every night. 

Waiting ‘til most of the crowd files out, I decide to go around the back of the building to miss all the traffic.  As soon as I turn the corner I can hear an idiot yelling obscenities, so I look toward the open door to see a man slap a smaller figure across the face. 

I try to calm my inner rage until I get close enough to see what's going on.  All I can see is someone shorter than him, with a hood on, cowering down from his blows.

"Kimber, you're just a fucking slut.  How many did you fuck?  You let them look at you and I'm fucking tired of it."  He backhands her this time and gets in a punch to her stomach before I can reach him.

Yanking him into the dark alley, I tear into this man.  I can't fucking handle when a guy hits a girl for
any
reason.  I punch him over and over in the face until he falls to the ground and then pull him into a headlock.

"Why don't you hit someone your own fucking size, asshole?  I'm waiting."  Blood covers my fists and I keep going until he finally stops fighting me.  I know he's passed out, but anger is still flowing through me.  Hell, I haven't felt anything in months, and right now I'm a whole fucking array of emotions.

I climb up off the ground and move to check on her.  Her cries gut me and I don't even know her.  I slide her hood down off her head and see the bruising already.  Her face is swollen and tears are trailing down her face and this pisses me off even more. 

"Can I take you somewhere?"

"No, he'll just find me."  Her voice is so small and weak that I struggle to hear her.  The door slams open and I instinctively shield her.  A guy in a suit walks over to the idiot on the ground and checks his pulse.  When he finds one, he moves to face me and the girl disappears through the doorway.

"What's your name?"

"I don't have one."

"You just took out my top fighter, what's your fucking name?"

"I don't fucking have one."

"We can do this one of two ways.  I'll press charges on you for assaulting my fighter or you can come inside and talk business."

"Press charges." 

"I don't think you understand how good the business talk will be for you."  He moves toward the door just as a few big guys rush out to lean over the asshole on the ground.

"Come inside.  If you don't like what I have to say, then we'll work something else out."  I glance inside the doorway and see the girl from a second ago.  A lone tear runs down her face before she quickly swipes it.  She takes a deep breath and paints on a smile as if nothing happened.  Her cheek is swelling, but she is doing her best to keep it out of view of anyone around.  I notice her rubbing her stomach before she moves out of my line of sight.

I choose to follow him inside, if nothing else than to see what he has to say.  I have no intentions of being forced into doing anything.  This suit doesn't have an army here to stop me if I decide to leave, so he'd have hell stopping me if I decide to walk out. 

He walks right past the girl from outside and doesn't give her a glance.

"You okay?"  I stop to ask her quietly as I pass by.  Her eyes are on the floor and her single nod tells me that she's wearing the injury with as much dignity and pride as she can muster up.  I take note of her full lips.  Damn, if her lips aren't the single most gorgeous pair I've ever seen.   

That thought pisses me off.  What the fuck am I doing looking at a pair of lips like I'm starved out in the damn desert?  This is why I stay clear of anything with tits and ass.  I'm not prepared to deal with my reaction when one finally gets to me again. 

I start to walk again when I see the suit turn to look for me.  After he passes a few doorways, he turns the knob to one on the right and waits for me to enter.

"What's your name, son?"

"It isn't son.  Why don't you just say what you need to say?  My name isn't important."

"How would you like to make fifty thousand dollars an hour?"  He just piqued my curiosity.  Thoughts of jobs that warrant that kind of paycheck begin to flow through my mind.  Not a single one of them being legal and safe at the same time. 

"Doing what?"

"There's a fight coming up in two weeks.  I'd like to put you in instead of the meat-head you laid out in the alley."

"I've never fought before."  He sits in a chair on one end of a long metal table.  I take the other end and sit back in my chair to display my attitude in my posture.  He watches me for a couple of seconds before he answers.

"You'll do fine.  I have an old trainer that can get you prepared in time."

"And if I say no?"

"You won't.  Something tells me you could use the cash or you wouldn't be in this room talking to me right now."

"Money isn't an issue for me.  You'd do well to remember that."  I stand to leave the room just as the same girl enters with some short guy. 

"Kimber, come in and sit with us.  I'd introduce you to this guy, but he won't divulge his name."  She extends her hand to shake mine as if we've never met before and this is a corporate business meeting.  This time she's painted on a fake smile and I watch her move through the room to kiss the cheeks of the guy in the suit.

"Daddy, Trey needs to see you outside for just a few minutes."

"He'll need to wait.  I'm talking business right now."  He turns to look at me and extends his hand toward my chair in a gesture for me to sit again. 

"Let's talk double, Mr. No Name."

"I have to ask myself why you are so willing to drop one hundred grand on someone you've never seen fight."

"I don't have to see you fight.  I saw the after effects of your unleashing in the alley and that's all I need.  Can we agree to the fight at that price?"

"Let me get back with you."

"Let me step out and see what my team needs and then you can give me your answer, but just remember if you say no, there will be consequences to what you've done tonight."  He walks to the door and the short guy that's still standing there leaves the room with him.

Her eyes fall to the table as if I make her nervous.  I notice her face grimace as she leans into the table.  Her efforts to hide her other hand from my view are obvious and I can tell this girl is hurting bad.  The only question I have is why is she trying to hide it.

"Why are you hiding it?"

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Just stay out of it.  Mind your own business and I'll be fine."  She never looks up.  She pushes her chair out and attempts to stand.  At first I think she's just sore from the attack and then I notice a little blood in her chair.

"You're bleeding.  You need to go to the hospital."  She turns her head sharply to look at me before she rushes to the trash can to throw up.  This makes me want to find that asshole and beat his fucking ass again.  How can someone do this to a woman?

"Let me get someone to take you to the hospital."

"No.  You don't understand.  I can't go to the hospital."

"Why the fuck not?"  I look over to see her bent over the can and notice more blood. 

"He can't know." 

"Who?  You're bleeding.  You have to go.  I'll throw you over my damn shoulder and haul you there myself if that's what it takes."

"Please.  I can't..."  That's all she gets out before she begins to vomit again.  I'm not sure I can stand here any longer and witness this shit.  Why? In. The. Fuck. Will she not just go to the hospital?

"They can't know.  Please help me."  Her words come just before the suit enters again.  I meet him at the door and distract him from entering.  She's behind the door as I hold it open and talk to him.  My attention isn't focused on the conversation enough to make a deal with him right now, but he won't take no for an answer.

"Okay.  Here's the deal.  I'll do one fight and one fight only.  I need half the money up front and the other half after I win.  No exceptions."  I walk out the door and I'm relieved that he follows me. 

"Deal.  Let me get you the information to the trainer and I'll meet you there tomorrow with your check."

"Make it cash."

"Jack Reynolds.  You going to give up your name?"  He extends his hand to shake on our agreement.  My mind is caught up in thinking of a way to help Kimber to the hospital.  He takes my silence as me continuing to hold out on him.

"You'll need to give up your name before the fight is announced.  I'll let it go for now."  He makes it easy on me by walking away.  I look around and don't see anyone in any direction. 

Opening the door slowly, I find her at the table once again.  Her face is white and she looks like she's about to pass out. 

"Come with me.  Do you have a car here?"

"Yes."

"What's the best way out of here?