Never Say Never (12 page)

“Isn't it too early to board the ship?” She tried to keep anyone else from hearing her question.

One of her escorts leaned toward her. “Yes, ma'am, but you're a special guest of the captain, so he told us where to take you.”

Charlotte felt funny going ahead of all these other people, but she didn't want to cause a scene. She went through the area where the machine took her picture while her keycard was inserted. When they arrived where the ship's photographer took passengers' pictures in front of a large canvas poster of the ship, Gareth joined her. Instead of his uniform, he wore slacks and a sport shirt. That morning, Charlotte had a hard time deciding what to wear. She had always liked this pantsuit. It traveled well, but maybe she should have dressed up more.

“Thank you, men.” Gareth shook hands with each of the crewmembers. “I'll take it from here.” He turned to Charlotte with a smile. “You look lovely.” His eyes traveled leisurely over her face. “After we have our picture taken, I'll take you to your stateroom.”

Every time she saw him, her attraction to Gareth grew. Maybe this cruise wasn't such a good idea, especially since neither one of them was ready for a deeper relationship, but she would enjoy the trip. It would be something to remember if anything ever happened to end their friendship.

Gareth took her keycard from her and inserted it into the door. He followed her into the cabin. Charlotte looked at the opulence and could hardly believe this stateroom was for her. Not only was there a piano, the suite also contained a living room, a dining room with a refrigerator, and a separate bedroom with a king-sized bed. When she looked at the stateroom on the Internet, it said that bathroom even had a whirlpool tub. Each room in the suite had a wall of windows that opened onto a large balcony. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought about occupying a suite like this.

Gareth stood and watched her as she discovered each part of the accommodations. “I'm glad you like it.”

“I do.” She slipped off her shoes and curled her toes into the plush carpeting.

Gareth took her hands in his, and tingles shot up her arm. “I'm going to put on my uniform and check the bridge. I'll be back for lunch.”

“Aren't we going to the Oceanic Grille to eat like we did last time?” Charlotte had been so excited that she hadn't eaten much breakfast. She hoped to eat lunch soon.

“I've made arrangements for our meal to be served in here.” He led her to the dining room area. “Your stewards only have this one stateroom to take care of. There are three of them to cover around the clock. Someone is available to bring you whatever you want twenty-four hours a day—food or anything else you need. That's one of the perks of the Penthouse Suite.”

Gareth pulled her closer and gently kissed her temple. Charlotte held her breath, wondering if he would do anything else. Instead he moved back and let go of her hands. After pushing a curly tendril behind her ear, he walked to the door. Before he exited, he looked back at her, his gaze connecting with hers in a way that seemed almost a caress and continued for long moments. He finally closed the door behind him, and she took a deep breath.
What am I going to do about my erratic emotions?

❧

After they sailed, Gareth took Charlotte to his quarters where Marilyn and Homer waited for them. Having the first mate's wife on the cruise gave Charlotte a welcoming feeling. Soon they were catching up over hors d'oeuvres and sparkling grape juice. Then the Wilsons went back to Homer's quarters, leaving both doors open.

Gareth led Charlotte into his office. She leaned against the doorpost and watched him open one of the drawers in his large desk. He pulled out a package wrapped in gleaming foil and sporting a huge lacy bow.

“Come here, Charlotte. I have a present for you.”

Two pictures on his desk drew her attention. Eight by tens of the picture of Gareth and her at the captain's table and the formal portrait of her and Chelle were in separate carved cherrywood frames that matched his executive furniture. She picked up one of them.

“I didn't know you had these.”

He moved so close behind her that she felt his heat through her summer clothes. “I've looked at them a hundred times since you were here. . . . Does it bother you that I have them?” His breath on the question disturbed her curls.

She had to think about that a minute. Did it? “Not really.” She turned to face him, and they were almost touching. “I'm just surprised.”

“Now”—he reached around her and picked up the box—“for your present.”

Charlotte took the parcel when he offered it to her, but she wasn't sure what she felt about him giving her another gift. She reached up to her earlobe and felt the shape of one of the golden seashell earrings with the pearl in the middle.

“You've already given me a gift.” She took a step back, but the desk impeded her progress.

“It's just a token, a reminder of our times together.” He leaned toward her. “Open it.”

Her fingers felt like all thumbs as she tried to carefully remove the wrapping. He took the box from her trembling hands.

“Charlotte, you should just tear into a gift. Don't worry about saving the wrapping.” He held the box in both hands while she followed his instructions.

Every time their skin touched while she tore at the ribbon and paper, a frisson of awareness sparked inside her. She felt as if she might go into meltdown if he didn't step back. Finally, she lifted the lid and gasped. Nestled in the snowy cotton, the amethyst necklace and earrings she had looked at on the last cruise sparkled up at her.

Her gaze shot to his. “Gareth, you shouldn't have—” His fingers stopped her sentence.

“Would it help if you knew that, as the captain, I get things at a very deep discount?”

She giggled, like a teenager, and then nodded. When his lips replaced his fingers, time stood still and her world tilted.

Twelve

Gareth paced across the carpeted floor of his office and back to the doorway into his living room. When he couldn't sleep, he came in here thinking he would get some work done. That hadn't happened. He went through the door and dropped onto the couch, picking up the remote control and clicking on the TV. He ran through all the available channels, many more than the passengers had access to, but nothing caught his attention. With a disgusted huff, he turned off the glowing set.

His mind returned to the kiss. Although he and Charlotte enjoyed being together several other times during the day, all of them blurred into nothingness overshadowed by the moment their lips met. He had wondered if he really were falling in love with Charlotte. Now he knew. What had started as just a quick caress to stop her from questioning his gift quickly turned into more than he ever thought possible. Her willing participation in the kiss swept him along on waves of passion that threatened to drown him.

He hadn't wanted to put a name to that feeling before, but now he knew that he loved her completely. What was he going to do about it? What could he do? She had a home, a daughter, and a comfortable life in Texas. He lived in the Netherlands when he wasn't captaining his ship.

He rubbed the finger where he had worn his wedding ring, imagining another gold band encircling it. Even if they could decide where to live together, the kind of separation he and Britte experienced when he was at sea wasn't good for any couple. They lost touch with a lot in each other's everyday lives. He didn't want another relationship that evolved into what he had with Britte—secrets that caused tremendous pain when finally revealed. If, and it was a big
if,
he ever committed to marriage again, there would be no long separations. The
M
-word hadn't entered his thinking until now, but just the thought of what marriage to Charlotte would mean opened other doors in his heart. If they didn't accept their love for each other, they couldn't have any kind of relationship. After that kiss, he was sure she felt the same way he did. Did she think about never seeing him again? The thought of never seeing her again brought an ache that kept him awake and pacing the floor.

Gareth glanced at the clock. At 4:00 a.m. most of the passengers would be in their staterooms. What he needed was a good run to clear his head. He went into his bedroom and pulled on jogging shorts and a shirt. Soon he was the only person on the track that looped around deck ten, but physical exertion couldn't free his mind from the thoughts that had kept him awake.

❧

Charlotte turned over and punched at the pillow, trying to get into a more comfortable position. What was she thinking? This pillow welcomed her head with caressing softness. It wasn't the pillow that kept her awake. She shouldn't take out her frustration on it.

All through the rest of yesterday, she had forced the memory of that kiss to the back of her mind. The activity that accompanied the ship's departure from Galveston couldn't erase the effect the moment had on her. Gareth saved a place for her at his table. He later told her that he wanted her across the table, so he could look at her without excluding others. Every time his gaze rested on her, she relived the feeling of his lips on hers, but she decided she wasn't going to bring it up to him. And he hadn't mentioned it.

When she arrived in this suite to go to bed, she couldn't keep her thoughts corralled. They were like the dolphins they saw around the ship, always jumping and diving, frolicking in the water. She had believed that the romantic part of her died with Philip, but she couldn't have been more wrong. The kiss awakened feelings she had almost forgotten and took them in an entirely new and different direction. Her response to the touch of his lips had been almost too much, as if her heart thirsted for it and finally she was drinking from the well. Before she could think, she put her whole heart and soul into returning the caress. What must Gareth think of her? Did her exuberant participation put him off?

Since he didn't mention it, maybe she had overwhelmed him, making him uncomfortable. Well, he had disturbed her comfort, too, turning everything she thought she felt all around into something she hadn't named before. If she didn't know better, she would think she loved Gareth. She had decided never to fall in love again. She didn't want to face the pain of losing someone, but breaking off contact with him would be like amputating an arm or a leg. . .or a piece of her heart.

Charlotte pulled back the drapes and opened the door to the balcony, going out to lean against the railing. Since the ship sailed at a good clip, a welcome ocean breeze blew her hair back from her face and cooled her cheeks. She wondered if Gareth was sleeping any better than she was.

❧

By Friday, Charlotte decided that Gareth wasn't ever going to mention the kiss. It didn't matter. The wonderful times they shared on the ship and the islands defined their relationship right now.

She brushed her curls up off of her neck and anchored them to the back of her head with a large claw clip. Although the temperature on the ship was comfortable, when she and Gareth got off at Cozumel, she would long for air-conditioning. A knock at the door of her suite brought her out of her musings. She quickly answered, knowing who stood on the other side.

“Charlotte, you look lovely today as always.” Gareth raised her fingers to his lips. Above them, his gaze connected with hers. “Are you ready for our adventure today?”

As she nodded, she sensed a special excitement in him. What was he planning? He had said they would spend much of the day on the island, but although she enjoyed the excursions last time she was here, Charlotte didn't think any of them would bring this kind of feeling.

By the time they reached the open hatchway, most of the passengers who were going ashore had already exited. Gareth placed his hand at the small of her back and ushered her along the dock. They stopped so the photographer could take their picture behind the sign that proclaimed
Cozumel.
Soon they were in a taxicab. Thankfully, the air-conditioning was running as they drove away from the coastline.

“One of the older families on the island has recently turned the lower floor of their home into a restaurant and gift shop, no doubt needing to cash in on the tourist trade.” Gareth leaned so close that his breath warmed her cheek. “One of the grandsons is on my senior staff. He told me to come to their place anytime, and I would get VIP treatment.”

Charlotte laughed. “As the captain of a cruise ship, don't you always get VIP treatment?”

He threw back his head, and his hearty laugh filled the small confines of the compact car. “You are so good for me, dear Charlotte.”

He clasped her hand and brought it to his lips, soundly kissing the back of it. Although there hadn't been a repeat of the heart-stopping kiss they shared on the first night, today he had already bestowed two kisses on her hand. Tropical vegetation lined the narrow paved road, with tree limbs intermingling above to form a corridor of shade. Various shades of bright flowers gleamed from within the lush greenery. Charlotte wished for one of the blossoms to stick in her hair. With her white peasant blouse and tropical print skirt, she would really look like an island girl.

“Here we are.” Gareth opened the door and helped her out of the cab.

She studied the two-story house while he paid the cabby, telling him to return for them in two hours. The porch encircled the sides of the house that were visible to them. Charlotte assumed it went all around. An equally wide balcony spread above, with open doorways and windows allowing the breeze access to the upper floor.

A man with snow-white hair and brown, wrinkled skin met them at the door. “Señor Van den Hout,
mi casa es su casa
. Welcome.” He ushered them to a private dining room.

After they were seated at the table beside a large open window, Charlotte looked around for a menu, which was nowhere in sight. A large ceiling fan above them sent a welcome breeze across their table.

Gareth smiled at the man. “Santiago, it's nice to enjoy your lovely home again.”

“Are you ready for us to serve you?”

Gareth nodded and the man exited.

“So, what are we going to have?”

“All the specialties of the house.” His noncommittal answer only raised more questions in her mind.

A young woman entered carrying a tray with small bowls of tropical fruit chunks, glasses of water, and cups of some kind of fruit punch. Charlotte frowned at the water.

“It's safe to drink. They use purified water here.”

A procession of mouth-watering food followed, and Charlotte tried each item. Some she really enjoyed, but she only took a bite of the others. As usual, Gareth's knowledge of the history of the area made pleasant dinner conversation. When the dessert was served, she could only eat a couple of nibbles.

“Don't you like it? This is the best flan I've ever had.” Gareth put another spoonful in his mouth, apparently savor-ing the burnt sugar flavor.

“Yes, it's good.” Charlotte patted her stomach. “I've just eaten so much I can't hold another bite.”

Gareth put his spoon down and pushed his dish away. He leaned forward and took her hand. “I asked for the private room, because we need to talk.”

❧

Charlotte's eyes widened at his words. He had put this off until near the end of the cruise, because he didn't want her to think he was speaking just in the heat of the moment. They had spent a lot of time having fun together. Even Charlotte's conversations with Chelle had been pleasant. Now they needed to look at their relationship.

“I've come to care for you. . .a lot.” He stopped and swallowed, then took another drink to wet his dry throat. He didn't know why this should be hard. He placed his hand on hers. “I love you, and I believe you return the feeling.”

She turned her hand palm up and interlaced her fingers with his, grasping them tight. “I've had a hard time sleeping, because I was trying to understand what's happening between us. I never wanted to fall in love again.”

“I know, Charlotte. I didn't either, but there's no denying the way I feel.”

“What are we going to do about it?” Her voice sounded husky. Maybe her throat was as dry as his was. She took another drink of water.

“I'm not sure.” He reached under their clasped hands and fingered her ring. “You're still wearing your wedding rings.”

“I know. At first, I didn't want to take them off. Then I was afraid it would upset Chelle if I did.”

He scooted his chair even closer to the corner of the table that separated them. “Do you want to take them off?”

“They're a symbol of the love Philip and I shared. That's important to me.”

“We could have the diamonds reset into some kind of drop, maybe a gold nugget or something like that, and you can wear them to remember him. It wouldn't bother me.” Gareth saw one of the girls peek in through the door, probably checking to see if they needed anything. He waved her off with his other hand. “I'll always remember my life with Britte. Anything you and I could have together would be different.”

Charlotte nodded. “I know. It already is.”

“But it wouldn't be any less real. I can't imagine living the rest of my life without you.”

“Nor I you.” Charlotte moved closer to him. “There are a lot of things standing between us.”

“I know, but I want to share our lives.” He stood and pulled her to her feet then led her to the window where they stopped and gazed into one another's eyes. He read the love coming from her heart. “I believe we can work out all the problems—time, place. . .anything.”

Charlotte stood on her tiptoes and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “I'm sure you're right, but I must think about Chelle. Nothing permanent can happen until she's comfortable with you in our lives.”

Gareth wanted to pull her into his arms and replay the kiss they shared on the ship earlier in the week, but he knew it wouldn't be a good idea. Instead, he turned her face back up to his and restrained himself as he kissed her, not allowing it to turn into the passionate embrace they shared before.

Knowing that Santiago wouldn't give them a bill, Gareth pulled a couple of twenties from his billfold and placed them under his plate. “Let's go see what they have in the gift shop.”

❧

Many of the shops on the islands were gaudy with merchandise crammed into a small space. When they had been on the island before, Charlotte hadn't wanted to shop there. But the brightly lit room they stepped into held tasteful displays of what looked like high-quality goods. They worked their way around the room, looking at a variety of items. Charlotte picked out a couple of T-shirts for Chelle. By the time they reached the back of the shop, she had added a purse for herself and one for her daughter, as well as a necklace made out of seashells for Chelle.

Gareth stopped beside a glass jewelry case. He picked up a brochure from a holder at one end. “This tells about the black coral found near the island.” He opened the pamphlet and showed Charlotte. “The black coral beds in the Mediterranean Sea near Greece were harvested in ancient times until the corals died. They didn't realize the reef was home to living organisms.” He pointed to one paragraph. “ ‘For centuries, it was believed that there was no more black coral, until it was discovered in the waters of the Caribbean near Cozumel.' They monitor the harvesting of the black coral here to protect the reefs.” He gave her the brochure to add to the ones they had collected earlier in the week.

Charlotte leaned over the glass and looked at all the items in the lighted case. She pointed to a gold chain with varying sizes of black coral, red coral, and gold beads. “That reminds me of the Add-a-Pearl necklace my grandmother bought me when I was a little girl. The pearls were graduated like this.”