Never Stopped Loving You (10 page)

Chapter Ten

Wade release another ball down the lane, watched it approach the end and dive-bomb right to the gutter. Again. All he knew was, thank God tournaments were over and this was practice to keep up their stats. Not that tonight was helping his stats any.

Hell, he hadn’t bowled a ninety-eight in the seventh frame in, shit, forever? He turned back and headed for his seat. And his nachos that were going to waste. He pushed the cheese-jalapeño pepper mound away.

Patrick grinned at him. “You know I brought the boys last week and they both bowled better than you are tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Tate sipped from his Coke. “Leave him alone, Patrick. He’s having
girl problems.
”

Wade glanced at his brother. “I am not having girl problems.”

“Uh-huh.” Tate took his turn to bowl, rolled a strike and was back in seconds. “On the way home we can grab you a carton of ice cream so we can talk about it.”

Patrick looked between them. “What happened?”

“Kara happened.” Tate shook his head. “And he was supposed to get over her, but obviously didn’t.”

Wade figured the easiest thing to do was shove his fist down his brother’s throat, but since this was a family bowling alley, he decided against it and instead sighed. “She changed everything.”

Tate cracked his knuckles. “She’s messing with your head.”

“No she’s not.”

Tate shook his head. “I’m not a dumbass. I was there that night she talked to you. And since then, you’ve been this moping thing.”

Patrick stared between them both. “What the hell did I miss?”

Tate glanced to him. “Kara batting her eyes at Wade would be my guess.”

“Ohh.” Patrick’s brows lifted.

“She didn’t bat her eyes.” Wade didn’t even know where to begin. Didn’t know what to do with what Kara had told him. She’d asked him to leave her alone. Every inch of hair on his body was still standing after her chilling words and all he wanted to do was go to her. Pull her close. Either that or wipe away his memory of what she told him. That would be the smart thing to do. It was easier blaming her than realizing he’d given up on her too fast.

Tate shook his head. “And by his silence, I’m gonna say he’s thinking something stupid.”

“I haven’t decided what to do, that’s all.” Wade rubbed his thumb through the drops on the outside of his cup. “She changed a lot that night.”

Tate tapped the table. “Cut your losses, man. Let her go.”

“Yeah.” Patrick nodded. “I agree. I don’t know much about what’s going on, but I haven’t forgotten everything Kara did before she left. Not that I care, but after seeing how she left Whitney, I wouldn’t think I could trust her.”

Wade pushed his cup away. “Whitney is pushing me to be nice to her. Says an entire person shouldn’t be defined by their teenage years or some shit.”

Tate stroked over his mouth. “Whitney has a point there. But this isn’t just accepting her and forgetting her past. This is, hell, I don’t even know. I remember you when Kara was at the height of gossip and I’m saying she ain’t worth that shit. She’s got you tied around already and you’re not even together.”

“She doesn’t want to be together, that’s the problem.” And it slipped out of Wade’s mouth before he realized. Not that it wasn’t true, but he didn’t want to share that with his brother and best friend.

Now that it was out, they sat there gaping at him. But it was true. If she wanted to be together, hell, Wade would be all for it. Maybe. Probably. Yeah, okay, he’d dumbly run headfirst into the idea. There was so much history there. His biggest regret was not taking two seconds to consider his actions that night after the ball game, but he couldn’t help himself when it came to Kara.

Tate swallowed and spoke first. “You want back with her.”

He would always want her to some degree. “I don’t know what I want. She asked that I leave her alone and let her be. I’m not sure I want to do that.”

“What the hell did she tell you? An hour before y’all had that conversation, you were ready to back off and give her to John without getting involved anymore. And you said you didn’t trust her.”

He scrubbed over his head and stuck to the short version of the story. “When we dated she played hard to get so she’d be different from other girls and she’d only dated John to make me jealous.”

They both just gaped at him.

Wade shook his head. “And she admitted a lot, stuff I won’t repeat and it’s got me thinking about what I want.”

“Which is?”

Wade shrugged. “If I knew, I wouldn’t be having this conversation. Last time we dated, it ended badly. Not just between us, but everyone. Mainly between her and Whitney. What if we get together and it falls apart again? That’s what she’s afraid of and, honestly, it scares the hell out of me too.”

Patrick shook his head and held his cup close to his mouth. “Sounds to me like you should talk to Whitney.”

He frowned. “Why?”

“She seems to be the reason for your hesitation. Part of Kara’s too. Maybe you should find out what she thinks.”

He had a point there. Wade hadn’t talked to anyone about this since that night. For three days he’d maintained Kara’s wishes and let her be. Avoided the house when she was around, didn’t chance coming across her, stayed in his barn while she picked in the fields.

Tate was shaking his head, though. “I still say cut your losses and be thankful you got out alive.”

“You wouldn’t try for a second chance at something if you could?”

Tate sighed. “What happens when you go to the buffet line twice? Indigestion and misery. That’s all you’re going to find.”

“Or I could get a little full and do that unbutton-the-pants-and-be-satisfied thing.”

Patrick looked between them both. “You do realize you’re talking about a woman, right? As the only married man of the group, I think you should talk to Whitney. And then if you want her, go for her.”

“Easy for you to say,” Tate said. “Tasha doesn’t have Kara’s history.”

“No, she sure doesn’t,” Patrick added. “But if not for Whitney’s insistence, I would have never asked Tasha out and then I’d have missed out on something awesome because I wasn’t sure. So I say it’s always worth the risk. And always listen to Whitney.”

Patrick’s words played through Wade’s head throughout the rest of the game. Always worth the risk. Was it? Probably. With Kara he wanted to take that risk. The risk of things not working out between them wasn’t so much a problem for Wade. It was what would happen to Kara and Whitney afterward. It would suck ass if they had a nasty breakup again.

After rolling another shitty game of bowling, Wade headed back to the farm, thoughts heavy on his mind as he pulled up. He usually tinkered in the barn at night when it was cooler, but it wasn’t in him tonight. Kara’s car was gone and if she stuck to pattern, she’d be back first thing in the morning.

Meaning if he wanted to talk to Whitney, it was now or never. The house being dark wasn’t a good sign, but oh well. He headed up the stairs and knocked on the door to his sister’s dark bedroom. “Whitney?”

“What,” was groaned from inside.

“Oh, good, you’re awake.” He stepped in and flipped on the lights. She tossed blankets over her head and screeched about the bright lights. He sat on the end of the bed and fell to his back. “I need to talk to you.”

“It can wait until morning.”

“No it can’t, because Kara will be back in the morning.”

The covers slowly eased down and revealed Whitney’s face as she blinked at the bright room. “I’m almost afraid to ask.”

“Why is that?”

“You’ve never asked me about girls.”

“Patrick thought it was a good idea.”

She sat up and finger-combed her wild hair back. “Remind me to thank him later.”

He tapped his fingers across his belly and stared at the ceiling. “I know you’re glad to have Kara back.”

“I am.”

“What do you think of me dating her?” When there was no answer, he dared a look and found her staring at him. “Whitney?”

She kept staring. “Why would it matter?”

“Because last time I tried dating her, the fallout affected you.”

“I’m going to be honest.”

“I want you to.”

She took a breath. “Then I don’t like the idea of you dating Kara.”

“I...” He stopped, trying to find more words, but none came. That was... He stared at the ceiling again. Well shit. He stroked over his face and sat up. His stomach knotted and turned. Chest beat faintly. That was it then. If Whitney wasn’t okay with it, then that was it. He couldn’t find it in him to look at his sister as he managed to push to standing on numb legs. “What I needed to know. I’ll keep my distance from her. Sorry for waking you.”

“That’s it?”

He glanced at her. She sat in bed still. Arms down against her sides. “What?”

“That’s it?”

What else was there? “I’m not going to ruin your life like I did last time.”

Her mouth fell open. “You didn’t ruin my life. Kara made those choices. Not you.”

“Because of me.”

“You know what, you don’t deserve her.”

He faced her. He knew it was a stupid idea to ask his sister. “How do I not deserve her?”

“You didn’t even fight for her. You must not want her too bad that you didn’t even try arguing your point.”

He rubbed his head. Why couldn’t his sister ever just give him a straight answer? “If I wanted to talk you into wanting things my way, what’s the point of asking to begin with?”

She shook her head and patted the end of the bed. “What brought all this up?”

He moved back to the bed and sat again. “Kara and I talked the other night. About what happened with us before.”

She frowned. “What did she say?”

“Oh, no. I’m not telling. You’ll need to ask her.”

“How can I make a decision if you’re not going to say what she said?”

True, but no. Whitney was still his little sister and that was a line he couldn’t cross. “You’ll have to ask her. Let’s say if I’d known then what I know now, things would have been completely different.”

“Must have been a good conversation.”

He nodded. “It was. I think we have a chance, Whitney. A real chance. I still feel the same about her. When she came back, it was a blow I wasn’t expecting.”

She rubbed his arm. “Ask her out, Wade. I would never care who you dated, whether she was my friend or not. How would I feel ten years from now if you were miserable because you never asked her out because of me?”

“I didn’t think of it that way. I just don’t know if she feels the same.”

“Only one way to find out.”

Yeah, and to do that, he’d have to talk to her. Big problem there. “She asked me to stay away from her and leave her alone.”

“Oh.”

“Not like that.” He slouched. “I don’t think. At least, she said she wanted me to leave her alone because she didn’t want to make the same mistakes, that she wanted her home here back and getting in a relationship would risk all that.”

Whitney nodded. “She’s not the same. She’s scared. I’m being supportive with her, but I don’t know what she’ll do if you ask her out. Only one way to find out.”

“Do you think it’s a good idea?”

A small smile pulled at her lips and she crawled out of the covers and hugged him. “Do you always want to wonder ‘what if’ for the rest of your life?”

Chapter Eleven

Kara smiled and dropped another jar in the hot water. “Told you it was fun.”

Whitney rolled her eyes. “I don’t remember all the cleaning and these steps that time when your grandma visited and showed us how to can. I remember cutting up fruit and sneaking bites when her back was turned.”

“You know she caught you nearly every time, too, she just didn’t say anything.”

“I was too sneaky to be caught.”

Kara laughed. “You snuck blackberries. Your teeth were always stained.”

“Well, I thought I was sneaky then.” Whitney leaned over the pot of boiling water. “How long do those stay in there?”

Kara poked the jars with her magnet wand and turned them in the boiling water. “Ten or so minutes. You want them sterilized.”

Whitney returned to the pot of pepper jelly and cut a spoon through the mix. “I’ve never tried this stuff.”

“It’s great on cream cheese and a cracker.”

Whitney winced. “Sounds disgusting.”

“Not at all. It’s really good. The spice is good against the cheese.” She lifted the jars out and lined them on the towel spread across the counter. Moving quickly, she turned back, grabbed the pot of jelly and started funneling it into the hot jars.

Whitney moved in next to her. “What can I do?”

“Go behind me with a damp rag and clean up any mess on the jar, especially around the lip of the rim.”

Working as a seamless team, Kara finished filling, Whitney cleaned. After she was out of jelly, she moved behind Whitney and added the lids and rings. She smiled as they worked. The radio was on low. Kara swung her hips a little. Whitney mumbled the song. So much like before, back during good times. Back then they’d done scrapbooks or whatever they could get their hands on, it didn’t matter. A good song on the radio and them together guaranteed a great day.

“You never did tell me how it went with Bartender Brandon when you took him part of the cake.”

Whitney didn’t look up from her chore. “He said thank you.”

“That’s it?”

“Yep.”

“Well, that cake was worth more than a thank-you.”

Whitney patted her stomach. “I did get four times as much cake as he did, so I have that. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but there is nothing there.” She shrugged. “I had a little crush at the beginning, but now not even that. He’s frustrating and not in a cute, I-want-to-find-out-more kind of way.” She glanced at Kara. “He reminds me of my dad sometimes.”

“Ah.” That certainly explained that. “So frustrating in a makes-you-want-to-pull-your-hair-and-scream-but-know-you-can’t kind of way.”

“Exactly.” Whitney finished wiping down the jars. “What now?”

Kara screwed the last ring in place. “In the water bath they go.”

She lined them in the boiling water until the jars filled the space. She put the lid on and leaned back with a breath. “Now we wait. Almost done.”

“This hasn’t been too bad. I can see why you like it.”

“Why’s that?”

“There’s a process. A line. Follow instructions and it’ll come out right.”

She gave a one-shoulder shrug. “For the most part.”

Whitney chuckled. “And it’s all down-homey. Housewife-ish. You like that kind of stuff.”

Maybe once upon a time she did. Lived for things in place. Envisioned things coming true. Dreamed of the day she’d be a mom herself. She was going to do it right too. No pining after a man and leaving a frustrated and confused kid behind. There would be pancakes on Saturday, biscuits on Sunday. School days would have breakfasts, fixed lunches in their lunchbox of choice and dinner on the table at five-thirty sharp. A real family meal. Homework done together with a healthy snack just like Sam and Jana Chester had done.

And never would a pile of junk replace one of her kids’ projects.

That dream was a long time ago and a lot had changed, but if she ever got a family, that’s still how it would be done. She smiled at Whitney for her comment and moved on to a subject change. “In the past couple days I’ve been back, I haven’t heard a word of what you’ve been up to.”

Whitney frowned for a moment and moved to the sink. “Same old, same old.”

“Surely there’s more than that.”

“Not really. Dad died, you know.”

Kara swallowed. She’d sent flowers. She hadn’t been able to attend. Her grandma had still been alive then, though she wasn’t well. Not well enough that Kara could leave her side. “I know. I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

Whitney turned on water in the sink. “Thanks. And anyway. After he...left, it was a lot for mom to take on. With the farm and all. Too many memories. I steadily took on more of the farm’s work for her until I had it all. Every day seemed harder than the last, rather than easier. She moved to south Texas and only comes back at Thanksgiving. She built this place with Dad and I think it’s just hard to see it without him.”

“I remember them being together and can see that. I guess she’s happy there?”

Whitney laughed. “Oh, yeah. We go down for the month of December. After fall harvest and before we start preparing for spring planting.”

Oh, planting season. Aside from waking in the morning with an aching back and trying to sleep at night with a blistering sunburn, she loved it. “No men in your life?”

Whitney laughed. “No, none.”

Kara laughed and let it go. While Whitney accused her of being housewife-ish, Whitney wasn’t too far off that mark. She may not be into all the cooking and such like Kara was, but the woman loved kids and family. She was the one setting up Monopoly on a rainy afternoon and dragging them all to the table and begging to get the tents out on the first warm spring night of the season. Kara had just known Whitney would have four kids, a couple dogs and some cats by now. “Whatever happened to you and Patrick?”

“Oh, Patrick.” She chuckled. “We were, I don’t know. More friends than anything. And it worked out for the best. I adore his wife.”

“Tasha seems sweet.” At least she probably was when she wasn’t soaked to the gills and pissed at her husband.

“They are perfect for each other. She came to town shortly after we broke up. Or sort of broke up. I mean, we were still friends. Still hung out, but not anything else. I set him up on a blind date and a few months later they got married.”

“That’s a cute story.”

Whitney grinned. “He was
pissed
at first. She’d come into town and you could tell Patrick was blown away with her. Could hardly look at her without blushing. I tried and tried to set him on a date with her, but he kept saying no. I knew he was interested. If she was somewhere in town, I guarantee you his eyes were following her around.”

“He was always so shy.”

“Definitely. Tasha opened an ice cream shop. I told her I’d be by before closing, maybe a little late if she could hold on for me. Told Patrick to meet me there. I didn’t show up, of course. And the rest is history.”

A door shut from the front of the house. Without a knock on the front door and no one calling out, it was most likely Wade. Kara started, got away from the counter and reached forward to fill the sink with water. Not that she had a lot of dishes. A few things. Funnel. Spoons. One pot. That was it. But she would be busy so long as he was near. So long as she was busy, she couldn’t be as distracted by him. Wouldn’t see any looks on his face that she would have to try to decipher.

Four days. That’s how long since her chat with him in the barn. Four hard, long days.

His footsteps moved closer. Her breath shortened and heart pounded faster. And then he was there. In the room. She could feel his gaze on her back and God only knew what he was thinking. Anger. Frustration. Pity. After the other night, sky was the limit there and she’d hardly been able to sleep because of it. The past week during the day hadn’t been bad. He’d been busy tweaking his tractor invention and she’d been scarce, sneaking to other rooms to dodge him when he came through the house.

Aside from his labored breathing, he was silent as he moved through the kitchen. She kept her hands in the warm soapy water, running the rag over the pot for the hundredth time until she couldn’t stand it and had to sneak a glance. The pot slipped from her fingers and thunked to the bottom of the sink, but she didn’t care.

Cotton shorts were soaked and clung to his hips. His white shirt, soaked as well. Water droplets were in his hair. It wasn’t raining outside but he looked like he just stepped out of a downpour. Black earbuds were in his ears and pumped some country song. She couldn’t hear the lyrics, only the familiar drumming of the tune.

There was something extra special about this man when wet that turned her over and twisted her around. It wasn’t fair, to be honest. He was wet, soaked through, with all that steamy heat radiating off him, and her throat was bone-dry.

He gave a quick nod and smiled at her and Whitney. Without taking off his buds, he pulled a sports drink from the refrigerator. He tipped his head back and drank. Her throat got a little drier. Little thicker. Body flushed hot. His neck showed each swallow of the liquid passing through and her muscles melted little by little.

A drop of water on his skin licked over his Adam’s apple and dripped into his T-shirt. Dear God. Sweat pebbled on her lower back. The air in the room was kicking hundred-plus and he looked like the right kind of thing to quench her thirst.

It wasn’t fair. She should turn away and realize what was off-limits. Kara was so good at making mistakes, though, she kept staring. Took in the strong lines of his neck up to his jaw that was a day or two late for a shave, and to his dark eyes that were now staring back at her. He wasn’t smiling. Not frowning either. He pulled sunglasses off the top of his head and dropped them on his face. The deep look she was getting now was her own hungry gaze staring back. And, dear Lord, someone get her a bib.
Pathetic
,
Kara.
Really
,
really pathetic.

She blinked and spun back to the few dishes and gave a quadruple cleaning to keep busy as he turned up that bottle again. She dunked the rag once more and Whitney stepped beside her.

Whitney took the rag and tossed her a wink. “I got this. The water is boiling or something over there on the stove. You know, right there next to where Wade is standing. You should do something about that.”

Music still hummed from Wade’s earbuds, so Kara didn’t have to hold in what she was thinking. “Fine, but I’m only going over there because it’s time to take the jelly out.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s true.”

“Okay.” Whitney turned the faucet on high and if Kara had anything further to say, she’d have to yell it. That was too risky that Wade might hear.

Since he was still in the kitchen. Still by her pot.

That meant moving closer to him, but she didn’t have a choice. She worked quick, hoping the fast movement would hide her shaking hands.

One by one, she lifted the jars, placing them back on the towel across the counter until the pot was empty. She cut the heat off the burner and turned to her jars as the lids snipped and snapped, popping and sealing against the cold air. She took a rag to the sides of them and dried water off the lids of the scalding jars. And dried them again. Normally she wouldn’t have even attempted the scalding-hot glass once, let alone three times now.

He couldn’t keep standing there. Not forever. She could surely find something to do to stay busy for the next few minutes aside from drying dry glass. She glanced up and found herself looking at his trim and muscular and tanned waist.

A trail of dark hair wrapped his belly button and dove into low-hung shorts. Good God, where did his shirt go? She blinked, thinking her dreams were taking off with her, but that would mean she’d seen Wade semi-naked like this. And she hadn’t. The last semi-nakedness she’d seen, he’d been pretty well hairless. And muscle-sculpted-less. Eyes all but falling out of her head and not able to do anything about it, she followed the curves, bends and shape of his forearms to rounded-off biceps and shoulders where that shirt was draped.

Somehow she ended up closer to him. She was fairly certain she hadn’t walked because walking would require use of her knees. Let’s be perfectly honest here, with the way he was now all but standing over her, just inches away, she couldn’t even say where her knees were located at.

Too much had happened. She’d caused too much trouble. And above all, she was in the worst place right now to try to start anything with anyone. Not when this house was just starting to feel like home again.

His empty bottle landed in the trash and the muscles in her shoulders started to relax. Of course. The trash. Right next to her. That’s why he was hovering. He was almost gone. She’d be able to breathe easy again. Be able to think. He tugged on Whitney’s ponytail as she walked by and earned a swat and a nasty look from her as she stepped inside the pantry.

Kara turned around and worked at cleaning the same jars over again and could feel the heat of his body near her back. Those muscles in her shoulders that had just loosened were tight as ever. Her heart was pulled tight as a bow with common sense at one end and the desire pooling deep in her belly at the other.

That earthy scent with the crisp dampness of wet ground on him. Hairs on her neck prickled. Goose bumps scattered across her skin as he continued his stare from behind.

Her tongue lay thick in her mouth. Even if she had something to say, there was no way it’d actually come out.

But then he touched her. His hands landed heavy on her shoulders. Palms hot as he held her still. Stopped her breathing right in her chest as he turned her around until she stared straight at his broad chest. And if she lowered her gaze, which she absolutely did, his pebbled nipples.

The tips of his calloused fingers skated up her arms and shoulders with the most delicious rough touch. Across the curve of her neck and to her chin. He tipped her up to face him until she stared at the sunglasses perched on his nose.

The look of her in the shiny frames took her breath. Her parted lips. The intense, serious look. The waiting. The hopefulness. She hated it. She loved it. Nothing could come of this, but everything that could happen in this moment could be awesome.