Never to Love (27 page)

Several hundred dollars later, the three of us finally made it home. Surprisingly, we only had to make two trips to the car to get all of our purchases to Colton’s room.

“Let’s set it up in the closet,” Colton said. “Hamsters like being dark and cozy. There’s room on the shelf.”

He had a pretty big closet, so space wouldn’t be an issue. “You get started while I check on a few things.” I sat on his bed and began learning everything I needed to know about hamsters from Google. “Hey, Colton?” I called out so he could hear me from the back of his walk-in. “Are you sure you don’t want him out here? What if he gets lonely in there? And if you don’t keep the cage clean, your clothes will stink.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll clean it all the time. And don’t tell Dad. I want to surprise him when I have everything all set up.”

“I am so stupid…” I muttered under my breath.

Walking into the closet, I saw Colton assembling the cage in the far corner, which would be concealed by his hanging pants. “You didn’t ask your dad, did you?”

“Yes, I did.”

Thinking back to my mom’s playbook, I cocked a brow at him and crossed my arms over my chest.

“I did ask!” he insisted.

“And he said yes?”

“He said I could have one.”

“But?”

“But not until I kept my room clean for two weeks. He doesn’t think I can take care of a hamster if I can’t keep my room clean, but I can. I’ll prove it to him.”

“Prove you can take care of the hamster or prove you can keep your room clean?”

“The hamster,” he answered with an implied “duh” at the end.

“You get to tell your dad when he gets home.”

“Okay, I’ll tell him all about how
you
bought Pip for me and how
you
insisted on getting all of the best stuff.”

“You think he’ll fall for that?”

“I’m his baby. Of course, he will.”

“Didn’t you once tell me you
aren’t
a baby?”

“Whatever,” he said.

“I have five more years of sanity until you’re a teenager, don’t try to give me premature gray hair.” The doorbell rang, preempting the freak-out I’d been about to have over my last statement.

“Stay here and make sure everything is hidden.” The more I thought about it, the more fun it sounded to have a shared secret. I couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take Thomas to catch on.

Whoever was ringing the fucking doorbell was impatient, pressing the button like a junkie hooked up to a morphine pump. The distorted figure on the other side of the peephole was a stranger, but somehow vaguely familiar.

After I’d pulled the door open a crack, the woman on the stoop said, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“I told you to stay the fuck away.” I’d expected her to scream, but the quiet, menacing tone in her voice was disturbing. “Where’s my son?”

Oh, shit.

“You need to leave before I call the police.” My phone was
always
within reach, but of course, when I needed it the most I’d left it in Colton’s room. Not one for drama, I shoved on the door to close it, but the bitch pushed back. She wasn’t necessarily stronger, but she did have an extra five inches and at least thirty pounds on me.

“Mommy? Who’s at the door?” Colton called from halfway down the hall. He knew exactly who it was. His words were meant to hurt her in a misguided attempt at revenge, but they just pissed her the fuck off.

With renewed vigor, she gave the door one final shove, knocking me on my ass.

“Colton!” I shouted as I scrambled to my feet, letting him know I meant business. “Get back in your room, lock the door, and dial nine-one-one. Now!”

He wasn’t quite fast enough to outrun Natalie’s longer legs. She skidded to a halt in his doorway.

As an eight-year-old, I would have been scared as shit of the look she gave him, but any fear he might have had would only be temporary. A couple of seconds behind, I ran toward her at full speed. From my lower vantage point, I led with my shoulder and tackled her to the ground.

“Lock the door!” I yelled again. Straddling her and fighting with more strength than I had, there was no way she’d be able to overpower me—physics be damned. Not until Colton was safe. I wouldn’t allow it.

While struggling to keep the crazy bitch down, the only things I heard were muffled sniffs, rapid breaths, and finally the clicking of the lock. “Everything’s going to be okay, sweetie. Use my phone and call the police.”

How would calling the police on his own mother make him feel? He obviously didn’t like her very much at the moment, which he’d proven when he called me Mommy, but I knew it had been a defense mechanism. He had been hurt so badly and was lashing out. But even as upset as he was, would he be able to send his mom back to jail?

Natalie used my split-second of distraction to her advantage and flipped us over. In defense mode, I swatted her hands away as she fought like a toddler with slapping and hair pulling. If I tried to get the upper hand, it could lead to a stray elbow or knee in the face. If this was all she had in her arsenal, I’d just keep her busy. Waiting for the cops would be easy, and no one would get hurt.

“Hurry, Daddy!” We both heard Colton clearly through the door, which seemed to spark something even nastier in Natalie. Before I could prevent it, I was flipped onto my stomach, and my head was pulled back by a fistful of hair.

As she slammed my face into the hardwood floor, I had a flashback to the golf club incident all those years ago, which just pissed me the fuck off even more.

Somehow creating leverage, I shoved her off of me, switched our positions, and straddled her hips again, using my anger to pin her arms to the floor. My face hurt like a bitch, but I got a small sense of satisfaction from watching her squirm as I bled all over her.

“He’s mine, you fucking whore!” she screamed. “You can’t take him away from me!”

“You stopped being his mother when you chose to hurt him,” I said in a much quieter yet furious voice, hoping Colton wouldn’t hear.

She spat in my face and said, “You can have the kid, but Thomas is mine!”

“He most certainly is not.” The deep voice came from behind me, and in an instant, I was pulled to my feet and pushed behind a familiar, solid body. I didn’t need Thomas’s protection, but just this once I didn’t mind his macho need to shield me.

With Thomas towering over her, Natalie hadn’t moved from where I’d had her pinned to the ground. Now calm, she had a creepy-ass smile on her crazy-ass face.

The handle on the door to my right rattled. “Stay in there, sweetie,” I said as calmly as I could. “Keep the door locked.”

“Are you okay, Juli?” Colton’s muffled voice asked.

“I’m all right. Your dad is here to take care of us. Why don’t you go check on Pip and make sure he’s not scared?”

Thomas glanced over his shoulder and the sight of my bloody face sank in for the first time. “I said I’m fine.”

Thankfully, the police showed up a minute later, and after an hour or so, Natalie was on her way back to the precinct.

“You need to go to the hospital,” Thomas said once the three of us were alone. All I wanted to do was shower and pass out for the night. “With that much blood, there’s no way your nose isn’t broken.” There was something off about his tone.

“It stopped bleeding. I’ll go tomorrow.”

“You really should go tonight before it starts to heal.”

My nose didn’t appear to be crooked, so there wasn’t much they could do about it until the swelling went down. And based on prior experience, I knew it wouldn’t heal that quickly—I wasn’t Wolverine.

Then it hit me. Thomas was trying to get rid of me. Did he think I was meddling again?

“Is it okay if I take a shower before I go?” I’d cleaned up the best I could in the sink but was still disgusting. Visual aids were a powerful thing, so I hadn’t wanted to get completely clean until after the police left.

“Of course. You don’t have to ask.”

Then why did it feel like I did?

I showered and changed as quickly as I could, avoiding looking at my already blackening eyes in the mirror as I tied my wet hair up in a knot.

After I had grabbed my phone from its spot on the counter and my purse from where I’d taken to keeping it on the floor of the coat closet, I checked to make sure I had my car keys and a pair of sunglasses. For some reason, I couldn’t help but think I should be collecting the rest of my things from around the house as well.

“Are you okay to drive?” Thomas asked, looking me over but not coming closer. “I can call a car service.”

“It’s not my first rodeo. I’ll be fine.”

“I would take you, but Colton—”

“I know. It’s late, and he’s had a rough night.” Didn’t change the fact he was kicking me out. He and I both knew I could have waited until the morning to see a doctor. Under different circumstances, Thomas would have called his dad for medical advice by now. He probably also knew I wouldn’t be going to the ER when I left.

If things weren’t so weird, I’d have called Thomas’s dad myself for an appointment to make sure it didn’t need to be straightened out. Being in the business, I knew lots of good plastic surgeons who could fix me up, if necessary.

Speaking of Colton. “Ready?”

“Ready for what, buddy?” Thomas replied.

“To take Juli to the hospital.” He really had perfected his “duh” face.

“It’s late and a school night.”

“But she took me to the hospital when I got hurt. And she got hurt tonight because of me.”

Crouching down, I looked into his eyes, which may have been a mistake given the way he winced when he got an up-close and personal look at the swelling on my face.
Is that why Thomas is trying to get rid of me? Because I’m not very attractive at the moment?
Fuck him. Even broken and bruised I was still hotter than most women.

Pushing the negativity aside, I took Colton’s hand and said, “You don’t owe me anything. I love you and would do anything to keep you safe. What happened tonight is not your fault. Do you understand?”

Although not very convincingly, he nodded. “I love you, too.”

“I’m gonna go now.” Ruffling his hair had become a habit, but this time, I didn’t take it for granted. “See you soon?”

Before I left, Colton hugged me a little tighter than usual, and I may have hung on a little too long.

Thomas

“Is Juli mad at me?” Colton asked. The sadness radiating from him made my own heavier to carry.

Two and a half days had gone by since Juli left for the hospital. I hadn’t called or sent a text, and neither had she. I’d sent her away, and she knew it. A part of me was still disappointed she’d left so easily and hadn’t come back.

I’d never been more confused or conflicted as I’d been when I saw Juli pinning a bloody Natalie to the ground. It appeared Juli had beaten Natalie to a bloody pulp. My first thought had been to get Juli off of her before the police came; I couldn’t let the situation get any worse.

Something bad had to have gone down for Natalie to be there in the first place, but Juli beating the shit out of her, just a few feet from Colton, seemed more like jealousy than protection. Natalie’s taunts weren’t helping anything, but Juli had to have known better.

So, I found myself trying to keep Juli from going to prison for murder, while not being able to look at her.

All of that changed when Juli spoke reassuringly to Colton through the door. Catching sight of her, I realized she was the one who’d been injured. After taking a closer look at Natalie, I could tell she wasn’t hurt at all.

How could Juli and I keep going if I continued to question her motives? Didn’t she deserve someone who wouldn’t jump to the most negative conclusion possible? Had Natalie done so much damage to me that I couldn’t find a way to be even a little happy?

“No, she’s not mad at you.”

“Then why didn’t she come back? I should have been braver.” The boy was on the verge of tears as I pulled him onto my lap.

“You were very brave. You did exactly what you were told. If you hadn’t, Juli would have been even more worried for your safety and wouldn’t have been able to focus. Things would have been a lot worse.”

“Is she ever gonna come back?”

“I hope so. I just need to figure a few things out first.” Like if I was good enough for her, which was a question I never would have considered before.

“Hurry up. I need her to take me somewhere,” Colton said as his sadness blended with newfound impatience.

“Where?”

“It’s a secret.”

What kind of secret could he possibly have that would require Juli to take him somewhere? There was a more important question I needed to ask, though. “Is that the only reason you want her to come back?”

Colton had told Juli he loved her, but he’d had a traumatic evening and could have been latching on because she was injured or felt pressured to say it back. I didn’t think either was the case, but I needed to be sure before I decided what my next move would be.

With sad eyes now trained on where his fidgeting fingers sat in his lap, he whispered, “She’s the best mom I ever had.”

What started out as an awkward, unintentional encounter between Juli and Colton had turned into something more than I could have ever imagined. No matter what, I couldn’t interfere with the relationship they’d built over the past few weeks. As long as Colton was safe, which after everything I’d seen, I knew he was safer with her than with anyone else, I wouldn’t stop them from spending time together.

The status of my relationship with Juli was another story. For so many reasons, I knew my mother had been right. If anyone could undo the damage Natalie had inflicted, it was Juli. But was I really damaged, or did Natalie just open my eyes to reality?

Juli was the polar opposite of the woman who taught me the horrible truth—my truth, anyway—about love and relationships. Even if love didn’t exist, would it be such a bad thing to be with Juli?

Did I really
need
to be with different women all the time to keep myself safe, or could the right person fill the same role? Was there any harm in being with someone I enjoyed spending time with, and who loved my kid? Not to mention the explosive sex.