Never Turn Back (25 page)

“I’ll just be a few moments. I’m making more coffee and some sandwiches. I’m getting hungry. Are you?”

“
Oui
. Food sounds good.” Meri took the time to study Siri’s apartment. Her friend always appeared in public so elegant and prosperous.
I thought the Finnish Embassy paid its clerical staff handsomely.
Siri apartment told a different story. The sparse furnishings were old and in poor repair. The walls needed a fresh coat of paint, which wouldn’t be much work because the apartment was quite tiny. Meri smiled briefly.
I never noticed how shabby her apartment looks. Was it always this way?
Siri looks like a successful independent woman and lives like a poor one. I live in a grand home and look like a pauper.

“Here we are. Let’s eat and drink while the coffee is hot and the sandwiches are fresh. We can talk and eat at the same time. We used to do it all the time at our weekly breakfasts, remember?”

Meri reached for bread with cheese and said, as she took a hearty bite, “Indeed, we can!”

The women laughed, almost choking on their food. “Meri, I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I laughed.” Siri wiped tears from her eyes and crumbs of cheese and bread from her lap.

“
Oui
, Siri. My life is very bleak, as well. Jeannine and I used to laugh a little. She’s now my biggest worry.”

“Tell me about Jeannine.”

Meri nodded as she took a sip of hot coffee. “The Germans occupy my life in many ways and not in good ways, Siri. Annabelle—the woman who has been caring for Jeannine—can no longer take her. They arrested her Jewish husband and now she fears she and Jeannine will be next. I don’t think Annabelle is Jewish, but maybe she is. To the Nazis, it doesn’t matter. Being married to a Jew, these days, is enough to be guilty in the eyes of the Nazis. Simon told Annabelle he saw
something Jewish
in Jeannine so maybe the German’s will too. She wants Jeannine gone so she can move somewhere safe. I wonder if there’s a safe place in all of Europe for anyone targeted by the
Gestapo
and our own police force.”

“He said Jeannine appears Jewish? Do Jews have a certain look?” Siri sat back in her lumpy chair, her eyes wide. Her mouth wider.

Meri stared at her friend; her lack of response being the only answer she could give.

“I see those awful posters the Germans put up about the Jews. Jeannine doesn’t look like them with their big noses and bulging eyes. Maybe the curly, brown hair, though…”

“Siri! Stop! No one is like those monsters in those terrible pictures. Amiel and Josef weren’t monsters. Simon wasn’t either. I can’t tell who’s a Jew and who’s not. How can anyone tell? My problem is Annabelle thinks they can, and she refuses to let Jeannine stay with her. So I came to you. Can you help me figure out what to do with Jeannine…and fast?”

Siri shook her head. “Things at the Embassy aren’t the same. We’re all trying to stay out of sight and be there for the few Finns we might be able to help. The only ones getting through our doors are the Finns with money. What about Monsieur Dorval? He helped you before. Did you ask him?”

Meri sighed. “He’s out of solutions for me. Those Finns with money get help. What about the rest of us?”

Siri looked down—a little girl, ashamed of a bad deed.

“I’m not blaming you, Siri. Life is so unfair.”

“I don’t understand. The Dorvals have money.”

“Michel has money, but he’s not at liberty to use it for a servant and her illegitimate child. I know he would if he could.”

“Michel?” Siri perked up.

“That’s another story I’ll tell you after we solve my problem with Jeannine.”

“Well, then. Let’s solve this problem
tout de suite!
”

Siri got creative when motivated. “Jeannine is seven and should be enrolled in school, right? There are two kinds of schools in Paris: public and parochial.”

Meri nodded and kept silent.

Siri continued. “Why don’t you put Jeannine in a parochial school affiliated with a Catholic church? These places act as boarding schools and orphanages—even though many of the children in them aren’t orphans.”

Meri stood up, grabbed her friend, and hugged Siri tightly. “Who would search for a half-Jewish child in a Catholic convent? The Germans aren’t
that
smart. Your plan is brilliant!”

“It is. I think it could work. Now, Meri, tell me about
Michel
?”

Meri blushed. Relieved that she did not have go into details about a relationship that confused her, she told Siri she had to start her long trek back to the Dorval residence.

“You have time to tell me
something
.” Siri leaned forward in her chair, her eyes as wide as her smile.

“He’s under a great deal of pressure. His business is suffering, yet Madame spends money as if it grows on all of the trees on their estate. The
Mesdames
rule the house, so he feels less of a man in his own home. He hates all the Nazi talk but must listen to keep peace in the house. I suppose helping me with Jeannine—finding Annabelle and supplementing the cost of her care—is his way of asserting independence over his wife. I think, too, he likes me. I know he thinks of Jeannine like a daughter or granddaughter he never had.”

“What about how he feels about you?” Siri knew how to get to the heart of the matter.

“I wish I knew for sure. At first, I thought he wanted to protect me like a father protects his daughter. He certainly reminds me of my Papa. I’m not so sure now. He’s revealed a vulnerable side of himself to me and hugged me a few times. He asked me to call him Michel, which seems more like something a man would ask a woman to do, not a fatherly request at all.”

“Has he made any advances toward you?” Siri touched Meri’s forearm.

“
Non.
He’s always been a proper gentleman with me…and there were many times when he could have—well, you know.”

“When did you start calling him Michel?”

“Simon’s arrest upset him. I came to him asking for help. He broke down like a little boy crying on his Mamma’s shoulder. He asked me to tell no one. I promised.” Meri stared at Siri. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone, Siri.”

Siri nodded. “Who would I tell?”

“Good. He said he felt helpless and alone. He’s frightened of the Nazis and of his wife and her family. All he wants in the world is to make beautiful fashions, have a loving family, and live in peace. His world is crumbling around him and all he has is me and Jeannine to cling to. Siri, he told me he would die before he let anything happen to us. It’s as if Papa is finally with me all the time. But this time, Monsieur…Michel had no solutions to offer me, and that’s when he began to sob.”

Siri fell silent for a moment. Quietly, she finally said, “Or maybe your papa sent him to you. Maybe he would leave his mean German wife for you.”

Meri shook her head. “She would never let him go. Even if I allowed myself to think about Michel as a man other than my employer or papa, I’m not lucky enough to have such a fine man choose me for a wife. Imagine me, the wife of a Parisian fashion house designer!
Non
. I’m not that lucky.”

“You may not feel very lucky, Meri, but you are. I wish I had a ‘Michel’ to look after me.”

Meri thought about what her friend said about her luck and the possibility that Michel could be interested in her in
that
way. She patted her on the leg, stood up, and smiled. “I have to go now. It’ll be close to curfew by the time I get back.” Meri took Siri’s hands in hers and squeezed them. With tears forming in her grey eyes, she said, “
Merci.
Your idea about the convent is divine.”

Siri shook her hands free and hugged Meri, smiling and crying at the same time. “You’re my friend and I was there when Jeannine was born. I’m just happy my idea might help you.”

“I’m sure of it. Michel will know of a convent close to us. Jeannine will be safe because of you.”

The two friends hugged and kissed each other goodbye. Neither knew they would never see each other again.

§

On the walk back, Meri’s thoughts were occupied with the conversation she would have with Michel about convents and fees for Jeannine’s care. She didn’t see the German soldier until she nearly bumped into him. He was tall, blonde, handsome, and very young. Beside him was a shorter, older, decidedly less attractive French police officer.

The German smiled at Meri and removed his military cap.

Meri curtsied and gave a shaky smile back to the young man.

The French police officer was not so polite. He did not remove his cap, and he demanded to know why she was out and to see her papers. Since she was carrying a dress in a garment bag, she struggled to retrieve her papers from her coat pocket. The German officer offered to hold the dress for her. She smiled in gratitude.

As Meri fished in her coat for her documents showing her Finnish citizenship, she explained, “I work for Monsieur Michel Dorval. He’s a fashion house owner. This is a dress he designed for Frau Bauer.” She handed the documents and the item Michel had given to her to the police officer.

He studied both. “What is this?” He waved a photograph in front of Meri’s face.

“Monsieur, it’s a picture of the people I work for. I’m a nanny for the Freels’ children, Herr Ernst Freels?” Meri was speaking to the crack in the sidewalk.

“What do I care whose children you—”

The German soldier kicked the police officer’s boot and, with his free hand, snatched the photograph away from him. “Ah, Herr Freels,” he said as he studied the portrait, nodding his head and making his face even more handsome by smiling. “How did you come to have this in your possession?”

“I work as a domestic for the Dorval family as well. Madame Dorval and Madame Freels are sisters. The portrait was taken for the Freels’ family. Karla, the little girl you see in the picture is fond of me and wanted me to have it.”
I hope he doesn’t know the Freels family well enough to check my story
.

The soldier nodded. “
Bonjour,
Mademoiselle.” His French was laden with German, but Meri was used to hearing German-infused French.

The police officer scowled but returned Meri’s documents to her. Once she tucked them away, the German officer gently handed her the garment bag.

Meri curtsied once again, mostly to the German soldier, and walked quickly down a side street. As she walked away, she heard the two men arguing. Meri smiled.

Meri arranged to talk to Monsieur Dorval as soon as possible after her trip to see Siri.

“Your friend is very clever. I wish I had thought of this solution and had been the one to save the day.” Michel paced as he spoke. “No matter. It is a wonderful idea, and I will find a Catholic convent willing to take Jeannine as soon as possible. Annabelle will be so relieved.”

Meri watched him as he paced.
He is a handsome man. He’s not that much older than I am. I wonder if he would ever leave his wife….

Within a week, Michel gave Meri the news. The Sisters of Charity ran a convent and orphanage very close to the Dorval residence. They provided both Catholic and standard instruction. Jeannine’s room, board and tuition were costly, so Michel offered to continue his arrangement of supplementing Meri’s payments with his own to cover the costs of Jeannine’s care.

“You are too generous, Michel. What can I do to pay you back for all that you’ve done for me and my Jeannine? I don’t want to be your charity case.”

“Nonsense, Meri. I want to do this. If I had a daughter, I would be paying her tuition at a much more expensive private school.”

Meri finally spoke the question she had rattling around in her head for quite some time. “Michel, you owe me nothing. Why are you so generous with me?”

“Is it a crime to be generous, especially to someone I’m so fond of?

Meri shook her head, her eyes downcast.
Where is this leading? Does he want sex with me as his payment? Should I offer? It might lead to something good?
“
Non
, Michel. Still, I feel I owe you something in return.” Meri could feel her heart fluttering around her chest like a bird trapped in a cage.

He paused and rubbed his chin. Finally he said, “There is something I have been thinking you could do for me, if it would not be an imposition…”

Meri looked up at him.
Here it comes…
“
Oui
, Michel?”

“I have been short-handed at my shop and cannot afford to hire more seamstresses to help me with all the repairs to German uniforms and the occasional request for a designer gown for a French or German dignitary’s escort. Would you be willing to take on some extra sewing work for me?

Meri stared at her employer.
He wants me as his seamstress, not his lover? I must be getting old!

He waved his hand. “Forget I asked. It is too much, and I could not pay you since my extra money is going to Jeannine’s tuition at the convent.” He turned away from her.