Neverwylde (The Rim of the World Book 4) (12 page)

Raising her knees, Kelen wrapped her arms around them and lowered her head, pressing her forehead to her legs. No longer able to hold her emotions in check, she allowed herself to sob aloud, hot tears rolling down her face. Damn her hormones. They were running wild after being repressed for so many months, and she hated the way she felt. The despair. The sense of futility. Worse, the utter blackness the future held for them.

Kyber ran his hand through her hair. She knocked it away. “Don’t.”

“What is wrong?”

“Everything! Everything is wrong! My hair is greasy and filthy, and it itches. It needs a good shampooing, which I won’t ever get as long as we’re stuck on this fucking planet!” She gave him a hostile look. He reacted with surprise and concern. “I’ll never be clean again. I’ll never have chocolate, or coffee, or a decent night’s sleep ever again!”

“Chocolate?”

She sniffed. “It’s a food, a sweet. It’s my emotional go-to for support, except for ice cream. Nothing can beat butter brickle ice cream. Oh, Kyber, I’m tired and I ache all over, and there isn’t a minute that goes by that I don’t think I’m going to die. That you’re going to die. That we’re all going to die. We’re stuck on this godforsaken planet with no hope of ever being rescued or returning home. And we sure as hell know we’ll be lucky if we’re still alive a month from now!” Giving him a defeated look, she shook her head. “I dropped my tube light and I left my bundle behind! We don’t have anything to eat or drink!”

She burst into tears again, hating this show of weakness. She sensed Kyber hovering over her, unsure of what to do or say. She waved a dismissive hand at him. “Don’t mind me. I can’t… I’m sorry, Kyber. Forgive me for acting this way.”

“Do not be ashamed of how you feel.” He rubbed her shoulder. “Are you still in pain?”

Kelen rocked forward and back as she clutched her abdomen. Unable to speak, she nodded.

He moved closer, drawing an arm around her waist, and pulled her against him. Pressing his face to her hair, he took a deep breath.

“Like you, I wish to be cleansed and brushed free of all this grit. This wound in my side, when I think it is starting to heal, it reopens and the anguish begins anew. Like you, there are foods I regret I will never enjoy again. I miss feeling whole and well and strong. Strong enough to protect you.” He kissed her temple. “I miss Seneecia as much as I believe you miss Earth. I miss watching the falling moons on my world, and the winds that smell of heesia mint and opal wood. Kelen, there are nights I have dreamed of taking you there.”

She snorted and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “If I ever made it to Seneecia, it would be in prison shackles.”

“No. It would be as my Confirmed.”

She pulled back and looked up at him. “You know your people would never accept me as your Confirmed. There’s even a chance you could lose your commission with the military because of our actions.”

Kyber kissed her again. “It does not matter. We cannot imagine the future beyond our present circumstances. We must focus on survival. On taking what days the four gods have given us and using them to the fullest to love each other.” He grinned. “And for the record, you do not stink to me. I will be honest. I cannot explain why, but your bleeding is causing your body to exude a scent that calls to me in the most primal manner.”

Kelen chuckled at his explanation. “That’s because what I’m going through is part of my reproductive cycle.”

            He hesitated. “You are in heat?”

            “I guess you could put it that way.”

            Lifting her chin, he gazed deep into her eyes. Kelen tried to read what might be going through his mind. She got her answer when he dipped his face to take her mouth.

            It was a sweet kiss that quickly grew insistent. He tilted his head, and the feel of his tongue and long canines sparked an ache between her legs that had nothing to do with her cycle. He pulled her into his lap, and she drew her arms around his neck as he kissed her again before bowing his head to lick her neck and the hollow of her throat. The ache increased, nearly obliterating her discomfort. Reluctantly, she pulled away from him.

            “Kyber, no. Stop.”

            “I want you.”

            “You can’t. I’m…unclean.”

            He gave her a puzzled look. “I know we have not been able to cleanse—”

            “That’s not what I meant. I mean, when I’m bleeding—”

            He interrupted her with a kiss that literally stole the breath from her body. With great reluctance, she placed a hand to his cheek and pushed him away.

            “If this is leading where I think it’s leading…”

            “If you do not want this, I will honor your wish. But I can ease your distress. Let me love you, Kelen. We must take every moment given to us and live it to its fullest. And at this moment, I wish to love you. I need to love you. Let me take your pain from you. Let me give you ease.”

            His whispers spoke to her soul, and the need within her intensified.

            Undoing the front of her uniform, she reached for him and threw back her head.

Chapter 18

Easing

            His tongue raked over her flesh with a warm wetness, leaving her chilled in its wake. Kyber noticed the effect he had on her and resorted to nuzzling and kissing her instead. His face burrowed between her breasts. A hand slipped inside her uniform to manipulate her sensitive nipples, making her groan with pleasure.

            Gradually, he opened the rest of her uniform, down to where her legs parted. Pressing his face to her belly, he breathed deeply.

            “Your scent is unlike any female I have encountered. Sometimes being around you makes my head swim, and I cannot concentrate on what I need to do. Kelen…” He reached for her face to caress her cheek. “There are nights I despair that our time together will be so short. Yet, at the same time, I rejoice for having found you.”

            Her tears blurred the sight of his dark-furred face hovering over hers. Smiling, she took his hand and kissed the bare palm. “Same here. I have to confess, one of the reasons I joined the military was because I felt there was no one for me on my world.”

            “My gods led you to me,” he murmured.

            “Perhaps. Or maybe we somehow knew we were waiting for each other.”

            There was no mistaking the love on his face as he lowered her to the ground. Stretching out beside her, he slowly peeled her uniform from her body, keeping her warm with his own body heat. Kelen lightly ran her hands over his head, his shoulders, his arms as he kissed her, moving from her throat to her breasts. He suckled hard on her nipples. With every long draw of his rough tongue on her flesh, the throb of pain lessened in her womb. He spent several long minutes lapping and sucking, while his hand continued to knead her lower belly.

            The results were unlike anything she’d ever experienced. How he was able to draw the hurt from her was unexplainable, and she wondered if he would be able to remove it completely. He wanted to make love to her. He promised to make her feel better. If he did manage to cease her cramping for only a short while, it would be worth it.

            He moved down to her belly, and further. When he reached her pubic area, he paused. Kelen glanced down at him. Her body felt flushed. Detached. The cramping was an entity that floated somewhere overhead. All she was aware of was the feel of his hand and palm massaging her abdomen, and the puffs of warm air he breathed over her bared skin.

He helped her as she shrugged out of her uniform, which remained underneath her to protect her from the rough, rocky ground. She locked her eyes on his face to study his expression as he ran the tips of his claws over her flesh. This time the shivers that went through her were not from the cold.

When his hand reached the wadding between her legs, she winced and pressed her thighs together. “I…can’t.”

Kyber sighed. “I have difficulty understanding your reluctance. In your culture, among your people, why do you find the natural functions of your body disgusting? You turn your head whenever I need to relieve myself, and I know you often wait until I am gone to relieve yourself because you do not wish to do so in my presence. There are times when you still try to cover your body when we are alone. My one, I do not comprehend why you feel you are less than beautiful at any time. If what is happening to you is part of your reproductive cycle, why are you ashamed?”

She continued to stare at him. “You’re right. I am ashamed because that response has been taught to me. Because I am expected to keep that part of my life secret and unobservable.”

“Yet, I get the impression the others are well aware of this natural biological function.”

Kelen gave a quick nod. “They are.”

He frowned, confused. “They know of it, but you continue to try and hide it?”

“It’s hard to comprehend. I know that, to you, it doesn’t make sense.” She gave a little laugh.

“Is that why are you reluctant to share this time with me? You want me to be aware of it, but not to acknowledge it?”

“Does that bother you?”

“It bothers me that you do not want to share a very intimate part of your life and wellbeing,” he admitted.

“It’s because…because of the blood. The bleeding.”

Kyber checked her lower leg. “When your leg was injured, you bled.”

“It’s not the same thing, Kyber. That was an injury. This isn’t.”

She didn’t expect him to bend over her, slamming his hands on either side of her shoulders. She could tell he was angry, but his anger was not directed at her. Before he spoke, he lowered his face to her tummy and took a deliberately noisy breath, making sure she noticed.

“I want to love you. From the scent you are giving off, you want me as much. I want to rejoice in your body. I want to explore this new discovery about you.”

His hand resumed its gentle manipulation of her abdomen, easing her mentally and physically. Tears rose in her eyes and rolled down the side of her face, into her ear. His loving insistence was too strong, and she caved.

“Only you,” she managed to whisper and lifted her arms to welcome him into her embrace.

Kyber bent his head to kiss her, taking her mouth as she gave him her heart. She was aware of him adjusting himself over her, but she had no knowledge of when he removed the padding.

He pressed himself inside her. Grabbing her legs, he had her hook her feet behind the small of his back. When he lowered himself on top of her, the fur covering his body tickled her mercilessly. Kelen writhed beneath him as his thickness penetrated deep within her. Running her fingers through the hair on his chest, she grabbed a double handful of it and tugged. Kyber groaned and kissed her forehead.

He held her in place, as he always did when they made love. Unlike her own kind, his Seneecian hips did not move. He did not rock forward and back as his erection speared her. Being kept completely still, she focused on his length filling her. Not thrusting, but gradually moving in and out. Stretching her inner muscles. Manipulating and stroking her from the inside. His warm weight pressing down on her abdomen was comforting.

Kelen groaned. He wasn’t making love to her so much as he was easing the cramping pain that wracked her womb. With every push, her channel swallowed him, held him. And when he withdrew, her body quivered, wanting and needing him to fill her again. His penetration remained constant in depth and speed. She heard him grunting as he tried to keep himself from accidentally hurting her, and her heart went out to him for his thoughtfulness.

Little by little, the agony subsided. It didn’t vanish completely, but it receded to the point where she was no longer consumed by it. Kyber continued making love to her, keeping a slow but steady pace. Reaching up to touch his face, she whispered, “I won’t be able to come, but you can. Take me, my one. Have your release.”

He briefly glanced at her. Seeing her loving smile, he bowed his head again and allowed himself to climax. His breathing grew more rapid as his body jerked with his release. A warmth filled her lower body, and he gradually slowed his movements.

Instead of moving off of her as he normally did when they were finished, he gathered her in his embrace and rolled onto his side, keeping himself buried within her. She felt him pulse his softening erection within her channel, soothing her further. Nuzzling his shoulder, she sighed contentedly.

“How are you feeling?” He kissed her hair.

“Better. Much better. Thank you.”

“Better enough to get some decent rest?”

She yawned. Since he’d mentioned it, she felt her body relaxing, almost melting. Her mind drifted away, and she was asleep before she could reply.

Chapter 19

Alternate

            She awoke to the feel of him stroking her hair, running his fingers through it. He had removed the piece of fabric tying it behind her head, leaving the tresses splayed across her shoulder and covering her back. She kissed his chest.

            “Tell me about the falling moons on your world.”

            He chuckled and his hand moved to her bared buttocks. They were still in the same position on their sides. She couldn’t tell if he was inside her, but it didn’t matter. Her cramps were vague ghosts of pain, and at that moment she was comfortable, warm, and safe.

            “They do not actually fall. It is an optical illusion, brought about by the atmosphere. We have four moons, which we named after our four gods. When they rise, once they reach a certain point above the horizon, they appear to fall or drop. Eons ago, before we ventured into space, we believed it was a holy sign. Even though we know now that it is a celestial phenomenon, we continue to stop every evening and pray to our moons.”

            “It sounds beautiful. I wish I could see it.”

            “So do I.”

            He shifted slightly, reminding her that they had not moved for quite some time. She started to disengage herself when he stopped her.