New Homeport Island (9 page)
foresee the drama and not pointing out deficiencies in sailors
holding a rank worthy of consideration also afforded hero
moments…at least, in the eyes of the officers. To most of the
crew the training deficiencies led to moments of gross
incompetence rather than opportunities for subordinates to
‘shine’.
“So the big heroes are back for a jaunt at sea, huh?” the
ATG chief asked. “Big hero’s?” as the petty officer of the watch
OS1 Worksen. “Ya, huh…I’m chief Bladd with ATG, you’re the
ones that declared martial law aren’t you?...because it snowed?”
The chief said with a smirk not knowing if he would be struck
with a fist or see the young guy giggle. Worksen replied, “You’d
have to ask the captain, chief. I don’t know anything about
declaring martial law, I know we sent out some electricians
mates to restore power and a lot of us had to get a ride in.” Chief
Bladd said, “Well, my ride in was okay and I’m told it was a big
deal, they don’t want you guys looking bad so were gonna’
make sure everything is up to snuff.”
As the chiefs and officers of the Advanced Training Group
crossed the quarterdeck an entirely different type of dark cloud
began to form over the ship. The chiefs headed to the chiefs
mess and the officers to the wardroom lounge. The quarterdeck
received a call from the chief’s mess informing them they
should have announced their arrival on the 1MC or at least
called the captain. After the phone conversation Worksen keyed
the 1MC, “A.T.G. arriving.” followed by a clank of the bell. The
messenger of the watch looked at Worksen with an odd look and
Worksen asked, “Just the stinger right?” The messenger of the
watch, BMSN Dawlson said, “Wasn’t one of them a captain?”
Worksen replied, “Screw it the word’s already been passed.”
The officers made a parade of phone calls followed by a
meandering promenade to the wardroom, as the chiefs many of
which were already in the mess, started the one upmanship and
glad-handing.
“So, how was the underway?” asked Chief Bladd. Master
Chief Hauldblam replied, “We were walking on the bulkheads.”
Chief Bladd smiled and said, “You head out because of the
snow?” Master Chief Hauldbalm replied, “There was a small
boat in distress, they got into safe harbor before we reached
them…better safe than sorry I guess.” Bladd looked stunned,
“You see that? They only tell us half the story…didn’t hear
anything about a small boat trapped out there.” Chief Dotle
replied, “Ya, instantly made friends with our captain as soon as
they found out we were on our way to render assistance. He
must have guided them through the storm over the radio. It was
very rough out there.” Bladd said, “Sounds like a good guy, you
guys got lucky. They’re making a big deal about your rep. they
don’t want you to lose it so the inspections gonna’ be tight.”
In the wardroom lounge the officers from the ship mingled
indiscriminately snatching folders, reports, and instructions out
of each other’s hands just as they had finished reading it; like a
news room working on a deadline. Spayner asked, “Why am I
reading a grocery list?” Mr. Mormus replied, “It’s better than
this laundry list.” Spayner said, “No, this is an actual grocery
list.” Captain Artimus stepped around from the dining area into
the lounge and said, “Give it to the supply officer.”
As they commenced their meeting reviewing the evaluation
points and performance objectives, the ship slowed in its daily
routine, waiting for a work list the length of your arm to come
flooding out of the wardroom. Officers and chiefs unfamiliar to
the crew would be found wandering the decks or conversing in
the passageways. They would tour work centers and offices
asking questions and inspecting equipment and paperwork. At
this point the crew knows only two things, stay out of their way
and ‘it is better to be alive’. The work load is soon to become
demanding, even overwhelming, and has been known to prompt
divorce because the sailor is never home, or long bouts of
sobriety in unmarried sailors.
I was back in the engine room and Mitch was in a good
mood, “What are you sweatin’ now Rob?” Mitch asked. Norrie
interjected, “He don’t know he just sweats sweatin’” Depree
said, “It’s the inspection…he was on a tender and he has seen it
much better than this and so have I.” I said, “The inspectors look
lost, the officers are hiding, and the chiefs are going to declare
us all super bowl winners…happens everytime.”
Hudlow came up to the boiler flat from the lower level with
a clip board in his hand with an astonished look on his face and
said, “I checked what they said to check…we’ve got a lot of
work to do, I’m going to the mess. Depree get Nueme and do
wipers, Lyon and Norri get two gen. ready, Hackel and Separk
head back to three gen. and clean it up.” We all headed out to
our spots thinking here it comes.
Up in C.I.C. there were circuit cards everywhere, the
operational specialist had every manual they could get their
hands on out; including ones for other systems for comparison.
They were searching for a master lamp driver somewhere in the
system, it seems one of the inspectors made a sarcastic comment
regarding burnt out indicator lights and he was misunderstood.
But at least they looked busy. OSSN Williams said, “I thought
these things had bulbs.” Electronic technician first class
Spaclavia said, “I don’t care what you have to do Athena, the
lamp test button has to light them all.” Williams replied,
“Worksens on watch once he’s done he’ll show us.”
In Auxiliaries space one, EN3 Rich, EN2 River, and EN3
Elper were combing through the wiring and gauge lines of
number one A.C. River asked, “When did this thing become a
rats nest?” Elper responded, “It’s the electrician’s mate’s dude.
Houval was supposed to replace the grommets. ”
On the bridge BM1 Branson, SN Melad, and BM3 Brock
were straightening up the bridge when Ens. Clarkson stepped
through the water tight door she asked, “What are you guys
doing up here?” Branson replied, “We’re boatswain mates
ma’am were supposed to be up here, aren’t you and engineering
officer ma’am?” Clarkson responded a bit nervous, “Ya, I just
needed to step out of the wardroom for a minute.” Then
Clarkson broke wind with a loud and nauseating fart and said
with a big bright smile, “Thanks…enjoy that.” Branson’s eyes
began to water and Tammy Melad asked, “Are you crying
because we get shit on all the time, or does it smell that bad?”
Branson looked over rubbing his nose and coughed out the
reply, “Both.” and they all laughed. As they left the bridge
down the passageway they passed the wardroom door just as
Captain Artimus stepped out, his eye were red and teary. As
Melad walked past him she asked, “Clarkson?” The captain
replied with a distant look, “Yep..” Bm3 Brock smacked Melad
on the back of the head. The Captain rested his head in his hand
covering his eyes with a groan.
The end of the workday was near and the inspectors would
be there all week. Mr. Yurganson of ATG announced to the
crew through a grapevine of khaki wearing chiefs and officers at
quarters being held throughout the ship that, “This will be a
quick and painless process of verifying the captains assertions
that this is by far the only ship he would choose to command,
and meets the rigorous demands of the navy and the job at
hand.” Unfortunately Captain Dave Artimus tends to believe
‘word play’ to be some form of brilliant legal trickery that
causes a win every time. As his semantics change it is not seen
as a clarification but as an attempt to recant his statement. The
reply from the Advanced Training Group was a reassuring,
“We’ll get you there captain.” As ATG made its way through
the ship the pending man hours began to stack up and the earlier
statement of ‘a painless process’ was updated to being only as
painful as a root canal.
The Auxiliaries division as well as the deck division and a
few electricians mates stood at the anchor windless it’s conduit
box was full of lint and dust, its electrical wiring had been
yanked from their connections with bare wire showing past
chemically damaged insulation, and its bearings rumbled even
with the anchor chain pulled away. Elper and Dames stood
astonished looking at it, Elper asked, “Who even takes care of
this thing?” Brock and Sirey responded, “You do.” And Haydel
added, “And their chief says we do.” Sirey asked, “So what do
we do? draw straws?” EN2 Dames said, “Okay, I’ll say it.
Check the PMS cards, those say what rate is supposed to do
what.” Sirey asked, “Like what?” Brock replied, “grease the
bearings” Haydel replied, “Clean the controller and pecker
head.” and Elper replied, “refilling the air oiler.”
In the forward engine room Gillis stood with Washam at
the module door to Gas turbine module two alpha enclosure and
they were attempting to explain the oil leaks coming from all
over the engine. Washam told the inspector, “It just hasn’t had a
water wash yet.” Gillis said, “We’ll get someone in the to wipe
it up…it’s not like we can fix a labyrinth seal; we’d need a new
engine.” The inspector, Lt. Yurganson responded, “How about
we take care of what we already have. That’s what the
Preventative Maintenance System is for.”
Meanwhile in Admiral Dufsin’s Yeoman second class
Karen Meslanka walked into the admirals office and said,
“Admiral preliminary reports from the Afloat Training Group
have arrived regarding the Paul F Foster.” Dufsin replied as he
took the paper work from her hand, “How are they doing.”
Karen replied, “Well it starts with explaining they introduced
themselves as the Advanced Training Group and goes downhill
from there.” Dufsin said, “Advanced? …On Artimus’s ship?”
and he began flipping through the pages. YN2 Meslanka waited
a moment and asked, “Will there be anything else sir?” Dufsin
replied, “Call chief Tayed and have him to head over there.”
Meslanka responded, “Yes sir.” and headed to her desk.
As ADM. Dufsin flipped through the pages he said to
himself, “Well that’s a fail.” and dismissively tossed the report
to the side and turn on his television…it was Wapner time. ‘The
people’s court’ and the ‘jerry springer show’ were favorites of
his and were replayed at lunch time on his ships just so those
crews would know ‘what the hell he was talking about.’
Out at the pier the pier sentry steps out of his booth and
lights a cigarette. The crew is leaving the ship for the day with
the exception of the duty section. The pier sentry is hoping one
of his friends will bring him back a pizza. But the night life out
on the town rarely affords the chance to squeeze in a pizza run
for someone on duty.
Pulling off the base in your car is time consuming; it’s a
rush hour and a thirty minute wait to get off base. Radio’s
blaring and the occasional shaken fist or impromptu dance party
at parked cars. Back in sunny San Diego this lead to often lead
to a precession to the nearest party spot, but here in Everett days
without rain were few and far between.
The local bars empty their tills and brace for an onslaught
of potentially under aged and under paid service members. Back
street innuendo from wanna be bad asses, shoving fights
complete with hair pulling and the occasional ‘oh shit these two
are for real’ are on tonight’s menu as well as a sultry come on
from a young female service member…some of the males as
well.
I found myself in the Casbah a good bar for finding a one
night stand, there wouldn’t be many squids there some sailors
assumed on account of the name that it must be a gay bar. I far
as I was concerned it just meant more fish in the sea for me. I sat
drinking a Corona complete with the slice of lime; I drank there
regularly so they kept it in stock. I watched the women come
and go as the night passes looking for an attractive one showing
those symptoms of hormone imbalance or sexual arousal, which
unfortunately included a degree of confrontation. But so long as
the confrontation was directed at her female companions it was
‘all good’.
As I sat chain smoking and nursing my beer, I noticed
Athena Williams stroll in with Amber Dallon and a few other
girls from the crew. Girls night out and I had a front row seat. I
walked over to the juke box, as a regular I knew it usually didn’t
work because the bartender had a cut out switch and she only
like country music, but she could handle the eighties music and
that’s what I tended to play.
The room was kept dim and I moved through the swirls of
smoke back to my table undetected, the light above my table is
burnt out and that is why I sit there. From across the room I
watch the girls settle in and relax as the juke box plays ‘In the
Mood by Robert Plant’ the bartender shoots me a look and
signals just this one. I made sure I blended in as the girls get
their drinks and find myself slightly startled as Charlie
McCready says at an elevated volume, “Oh I know…isn’t he?”
flowed by laughter. I thought to myself ‘this is going to be
funny.’ Justina Mier said, “Did you meet that ensign?” Athena
replied, “Selinas?” Justina said, “ya…what a douchebag. He was
in senior chief Rickly ass about Freon we couldn’t account for.”
Jennifer Hennely said, “Same guy crapped on me about an
eductor we lost.” Jamie Russ added, “And I didn’t know how to
operate the remote valve station…neither did Culd.” Jamie
glanced over at me and said, “I think that guys looking at us.”
The girls responded, “Which one and how’s my hair?” and
laughed. Justina said, “Oh shit I know that one.” Athena called
over, “hey you wanna buy us some drinks?” I glanced around
and she replied, “Ya, you...get over here.” I went over and sat
down and Athena said, “Oh shit Rob I didn’t realize it was
you…buy us some drinks and get the hell out of here.” I laughed
and replied, “If you really get drunk on one drink then we’ll do
that.” Charlie interjected, “That isn’t what she said.” and
Athena looked around and said, “Ya I did…didn’t I?” I said I’d
get the drinks.
As I passed around a myriad of bizarre mixed drinks
Tammy Melad said, “I guess you really are trying to get laid,
huh Rob?” someone blurted out, “Oh, he’s getting laid.” I
laughed and sat down. Justina asked, “So, did you meet that
ensign…Selinas?” I replied, “Ya he chewed Hudlow’s ass for
not knowing how to do a PMS check he’s supposedly been
doing for two years on the Low Pressure Air Compressor.”
Charlie retorted, “Oh and you do?” I replied dismissively, “Ya, I
