Authors: Hailey Abbott
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Love & Romance, #Social Issues, #Friendship, #Dating & Sex
Beth was pretty sure she had
feeling horrible
down to a science. And she didn’t feel any better when George mysteriously turned up at the cottage late on Sunday afternoon.
Beth walked into the living room to find him watching a movie, his arms crossed over his chest. Her heart leaped. It was the first time she’d seen him since that awful night.
She looked at him for a moment and took in his dark tangle of hair and his arms, which were more muscular than she’d remembered, no doubt because of his summer spent painting. She glanced at his mouth and the nape of his neck—everything so wonderfully familiar—and she felt a deep emptiness inside.
“Hey,” she said, clearing her throat.
George stared at her and said nothing. The longer he glared at her the larger the emptiness grew. Finally, George turned his attention back to the TV.
“Okay,” Beth said after a long moment of silence. “I get that you, like, hate me now. But I’m glad you came back here anyway. We need to—”
George looked up at her again, and his eyes were so vacant that she immediately stopped talking.
“I can’t afford the motel in town,” he told her, his voice cold and foreign. “Your parents said it was cool if I stayed here.”
“George, I’m so—” Beth whispered, feeling any resolve weaken.
George shook his head. “I came up this weekend to surprise you,” he said slowly, each word like a sucker punch. “Which obviously worked beyond my wildest dreams. Huh?”
“Let’s talk about this,” Beth said desperately, relieved that he was talking to her at all.
“What should we talk about?” he demanded. “Tell me it was my imagination, Beth. Tell me I didn’t see you with some other guy. Were you with him before? Did you hook up with him?”
“George…” she whispered, but she didn’t know what else to say. Saying his name seemed to answer everything.
Yes, I cheated on you. Yes, I kissed another boy. A lot.
“That’s what I thought,” George grunted. “I can’t see you anymore, Beth. My friend went to camp up in Acadia. When he comes back this way tomorrow, I’m outta here.”
Beth felt her lips trembling. George’s jaw tightened, and he turned back to the movie. Beth bowed her head, wrapped her arms around herself, and then dashed out of the house.
The next day, when Adam called again, Beth decided to meet him in town after dinner that evening. Maybe, by talking to
him
, she’d be able to make some sense of the whole mess.
He was waiting outside the Twin Freeze, and when he saw her coming, he pulled himself upright and smiled.
“Beth! Hey!” Adam seemed so excited to see her that Beth smiled wider than she’d meant to. Maybe she was becoming one of those girly girls who practically faded away without a guy’s attention. She had never thought of herself that way, but who knew? This summer she was a different person.
“Hey,” she said back, and then they stood there for a lingering moment. Beth studied him and realized that, normally, she would have assumed a guy like Adam would never give her the time of day. He was too hot in an obvious way. But, ironically enough, being with George had given her the confidence to befriend Adam. To flirt with him. And more.
“How are you doing?” he asked.
Beth shrugged. “I’ve been better.”
“Is he…Is it bad?”
Beth stared at him. “Um, yeah. It’s bad.”
“So he’s still around?”
Beth shook her head. “You know, I can’t really talk about George with you, okay?”
“Uh, okay. What should we talk about then?” Adam moved away from her.
“Well…uh…” Beth cast around for something to say, completely weirded out by the fact that only a week ago she
couldn’t seem to say
enough
to this guy, and now they couldn’t have a simple conversation. “Maybe this is a mistake,” she said. “Maybe I should just, um, go home—”
“No!” Adam said, putting out his hands to prevent her from leaving. “I mean, please don’t. Come with me for a while. We’ll just hang out, talk. It’ll be fine. I promise.”
And Beth really, really wanted
something
to be fine. So it seemed like the best thing to do was simply follow him.
“One for
Some Kind of Wonderful,
please,” Ella said, smiling brightly at the girl behind the glass at the Royale movie theater.
Kelsi had told Ella to be subtle with Jeremy because he clearly was the type of guy who wanted to get to know a girl before he got physical with her. Which, up until Ella had met Jeremy, she hadn’t thought possible.
But then Ella had realized that Jeremy was the good guy she’d been looking for all along. So, the night after her return from Amherst, she decided to seek him out, and show him just how subtle she could be.
Ella bought herself some popcorn and a soda, and checked herself out in one of the gilded mirrors that lined the once-plush walls. Not exactly her usual boy-magnet attire. Tonight she wore her oldest pair of jeans and a yellow T-shirt from the Gap. Granted, the jeans clung to her curves and she’d
shrunk the tee so it barely covered her midriff, but the fact remained: She was wearing jeans and a T-shirt.
The point here was to impress the guy with her personality and not just her body, Ella reminded herself.
This was truly revolutionary.
Ella pushed her way through the theater’s double doors and started scanning the aisles. There weren’t too many people at an eleven o’clock screening of an old movie, but there were more than Ella had imagined there would be.
And there, near the front, was the one person Ella had been counting on.
From afar, she admired his shaggy dark hair and the casual way he slouched in his seat. She felt something tug at her heart as she made her way toward him, and it wasn’t just nerves.
Taking a breath, Ella fixed a smile on her face and helped herself to the aisle seat he’d left open next to him.
“This seat isn’t taken, is it?” she asked sweetly, enjoying the look of shock on Jeremy’s face.
“Ella!” His dark eyes went wide and curious. “What are you doing here?”
“What does it look like?” she asked. She put her soda in the drink holder and relaxed back in her seat.
“Um.” Jeremy kept staring at her. “Do you actually like this movie?” he asked.
Ella tossed a kernel of popcorn into her mouth and chewed it for a moment, thoughtfully. “I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t think I’ve seen it.”
He was frowning when she looked at him, so she smiled her full-wattage smile, because even if he was looking at her like she was crazy, she was just so happy to be near him again.
“Well,” he said, his face brightening. “You’re in for a treat.”
“I certainly hope so,” Ella said.
And she got to see him smile at her again, just as the lights went down.
After the movie, Ella and Jeremy walked down along the main street of Pebble Beach under the heavy August moonlight.
So far, Ella had to admit, the evening had been pretty much perfect. She and Jeremy had discussed and debated the film—Ella thought the ending was predictable, but Jeremy found it flawless. And not once had Ella tried to put the moves on him. So Kelsi might just know what she was talking about, after all. Ella still wasn’t sure what had inspired Kelsi to forgive her, much less start dispensing romantic advice. But Ella just felt lucky to have a sister like Kelsi.
In fact, being with Jeremy, Ella felt lucky all around. She wasn’t sure she deserved it, so she just tried to keep feeling grateful.
She was amazed to discover just how much fun it was to
talk
to a guy she also thought was hot. It was like a whole different dimension, she realized as they strolled along and Jeremy explained his film obsession.
“Life just isn’t edited enough,” he said with a wide grin. “In the movies, the camera always blacks out at the best moment. How boring would it be to watch, like, all those dull
moments where people were daydreaming and staring off into space?”
“You only like the good parts,” Ella clarified. She could relate.
“I like to watch them,” Jeremy said, nodding. “Maybe someday I’ll head out to Hollywood and make movies myself. Why not, right? It’s the American dream.” He turned slightly, so he was glancing at Ella as they ambled along. “What about you? What’s your dream?”
“Me?” Ella was taken aback. With any other guy, she would have said something leading and teasing, like,
You’re my dream, baby.
But with Jeremy, she knew he didn’t want a line. He really wanted to know. And more to the point, Ella didn’t want to play games with him anymore. She just wanted to…
be
.
“Everyone has a dream,” Jeremy added, still smiling at her.
“Well, I’ve always thought I’d be good at fashion,” Ella said. “I like clothes, and how they go together.”
“You mean, like being a model?”
“Please.” Ella wrinkled her nose at him. “I’m, like, three feet tall. I couldn’t be a model.”
“I don’t know,” Jeremy said. “I think the only problem would be the height thing. Everything else, you’ve got.”
Ella liked the warm glow that his compliment gave her, but she didn’t latch onto it. She wanted to finish her earlier thought.
“I’d really like to, I don’t know, design stuff,” she said. “Clothes or bags. Maybe shoes.” She looked down at the pair of jeans she’d rolled up at the cuffs to accentuate the pair of
sandals she wore. It was a small alteration, sure, but she always did something creative with her outfits. Kelsi always commented that a T-shirt on Ella was an entirely different garment than the same T-shirt on her.
“That’s really cool,” Jeremy said. “You should think about it.”
They made their way down to the end of the pier and stood there, leaning against the rail and watching the sea. There was a bonfire farther down the beach, but Ella had no desire to be there.
“I’m glad you wanted to see me again,” Jeremy said after a long moment of comfortable silence. Ella looked up at him, inquiringly. “You know, after last time.”
Ella cringed at the memory. “I think I got carried away.”
Ugh,
she thought.
Awkward much?
“See, here’s the thing,” Jeremy said, looking her full in the face and, for once, not seeming shy. “You know that you could have any guy you wanted, right?”
“I don’t want just any guy,” Ella said, without the flirty inflection she might normally use.
“And it’s not that I don’t want…” He stopped, and shook his head. “I want to get to know you. The real you. So that anything that happens between us can also be…real.” His eyes searched hers. “Do you know what I mean?”
Ella thought about all the boys she’d known in her life, all the boys who’d fallen for her, kissed her, pursued her, and who, when she really thought about it, had known nothing about her. Jeremy already knew more than all those past boys
combined. She’d never told anyone about her dreams before. No boy had ever asked.
Except for the one by her side.
She looked up at Jeremy and smiled.
“I know exactly what you mean,” she said.
He smiled back, and then he did something totally unexpected. He leaned in close, and kissed her.
It was such a sweet kiss. Only lips, and that was more than enough to get Ella heated up. When he pulled away, they were both grinning from ear to ear, and Jeremy slid his hand over hers, and held it softly.
It’s distinctly possible,
Ella realized through the swell of happiness,
that I may have found myself a nice guy after all.
And it sure didn’t hurt that, behind that shaggy hair, he was absolutely beautiful.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened,” Adam told Beth as soon as they found a place to stand in the crowd. The restaurant part of Ahoy was just as packed as the bar, which was only to be expected in midsummer. Pebble Beach would be a mob scene for the rest of August, and then turn quiet right after Labor Day.
“So have I,” Beth replied.
You have no idea.
“And even though I know it’s been really tough on you—and I wish I could change that—maybe what happened was for the best.” His eyes were hopeful.
“For the best?” she echoed incredulously. “Adam, everything has basically gone to hell.”
“I don’t mean…” Adam looked down. “I just think that maybe things sometimes turn out the way they’re supposed to. Maybe your boyfriend stumbling in on us like that was just a really brutal way—”
“Adam, please don’t,” Beth said, cutting him off. “I can’t…I mean, I really don’t know why I even came out tonight.”
“To give yourself a break,” Adam said softly. “I know you’re upset, Beth, and I hate seeing you like this.”
“Thanks,” Beth told him. “I could use a friend right now.” She bit her lip.
“Beth, listen,” he said in a low, urgent voice. “I want to be your friend. But you know how strong my feelings are, don’t you? I think we could be so much more than friends. If we let ourselves.”
Beth was about to remind Adam that they
had
let themselves, but then something awful happened.
A huge crowd pushed past them and they had to take a few steps around a nearby table. Beth staggered back and bumped into a booth, where George was sharing a plate of fries with Kelsi.
Time stopped.
Kelsi appeared horrified. George looked frozen.
Beth could only imagine the stunned expression she had on her face. “Oh, no,” she whispered.
“Gee, this is awkward,” George said loudly, his eyes on Beth’s face.
“We just came here to talk,” Beth tried to explain, gesturing to Adam.
“Sure,” George said. “Talking. Sex. Same difference.”
“You don’t have to listen to this,” Adam told Beth, putting his hand on her arm. “I told you this was all for the best.” He began to lead Beth away.
George’s expression changed. “You should probably take your hands off my girlfriend,” he said to Adam, slowly getting to his feet.
“Or what?” Adam shot back. He paused for a moment, and Beth could see that he welcomed this confrontation. “You want to take a swing at me, go right ahead.”
Girlfriend,
Beth realized, and she felt a surge of hope. George had called her his girlfriend, despite everything.
“Yeah, whatever,” George said, sliding to one side of the booth.
“What, you’re not man enough?” Adam challenged.
“You tell me,” George said, stepping closer.
“Both of you, stop!” Beth cried, hurrying to stand between them.
George turned his attention to Beth then, and she almost crumbled when she saw how fiery his eyes were.
“George—”
“You were right. He’s really cool, Bethy,” he told her in a low voice. “Enjoy each other, okay?” Then he turned and walked off into the crowd.
“I’m sorry, Beth,” Kelsi said, clambering out of the booth.
Beth was too disoriented to respond. But she noticed how Adam threw himself down into the booth the moment it was vacated. He was literally trying to take George’s place.
“I’m gonna go to the bonfire on the beach,” Kelsi said, giving Beth’s arm a gentle squeeze. “See you there?”
Beth managed to shrug. Once Kelsi wandered off, Beth put
a hand on her stomach, hoping to settle it down. Then she looked at Adam.
“Take a seat,” he urged her. “We came here to talk, remember?”
“I don’t want to talk,” Beth said, her voice steady at last.
Suddenly, she was noticing that Adam really did resemble George. It was the way he tilted his head when he talked. But he didn’t have an ounce of George’s funny, genuine vibe. How could she have
ever
wanted to choose between the two of them?
It made sense. Beth had missed George so much, she’d practically been drowning. So she’d grabbed on to Adam, like he was a life raft.
Adam may have saved her life. But without George, her life was meaningless.
I
am
George’s girlfriend,
she realized.
What am I even doing with this other guy?
“I have to go,” Beth said abruptly.
“What?” Adam looked startled. “You’re not going after him, are you?”
“Damn right I am,” she said confidently. She hadn’t felt this strong in a long time.
“Beth…” Adam seemed to be at a loss. “Don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, Adam,” Beth said softly. “I’m in love with George. I always have been.”
“Wait a minute,” Adam pleaded.
“I have to go,” Beth said again, very firmly. She felt awful for hurting Adam’s feelings, but every second she stood there with
him was one second she was losing with George. She said good-bye again, then started pushing her way through the crowd.
When Beth made it outside, she breathed in the cool night air. Her course seemed completely clear for the first time all summer.
She’d do anything it took to get George back.
“The thing is, Beth,” George said coolly. “I just don’t think this will work out. Okay?”
Beth had caught up with him down near the beach. He’d been for a long walk, he told her. Communing with the rocks and the dunes.
Which pretty much translated to,
Avoiding you, Beth, the person who took a chain saw to my heart.
“I can’t blame you for feeling like that,” Beth said. “I messed up. Big-time. It was a huge mistake.”
George just raised his eyebrows at her, not disputing her choice of words.
“So I don’t expect anything from you,” Beth continued. “But I just want you to give me one last chance.”
He studied her carefully. Even though she almost always knew what George was thinking, now she couldn’t imagine what was going through his mind.
“You left him?” he asked. “Back at Ahoy?”
Beth nodded. “I went with him on a whim tonight, George. It meant nothing. I promise you.” She took a deep breath and added, “And nothing else I did with him
ever
meant anything. I want you to know that. Yes, we kissed and
fooled around once. But I
didn’t
sleep with him, George. I never would have.” She swallowed hard.
George furrowed his brow. “Part of me believes you, Bethy. But I don’t know how to…get past it all.”
Beth felt relief flood through her. “Will you let me show you?”
“How?”
“Come on,” Beth said, and reached over to grab his hand before she talked herself out of it. “Follow me.”
“Do you recognize this?” she asked a few silent minutes later, standing on the beach about midway between the waterline and the beach grass.
“Um, sand?” George asked.
“Last summer, you left your clothes in a big heap right here, while you were skinny-dipping with that girl.”
George stared at the ground, so Beth knew he remembered.
“
I
stole them,” Beth said, and tugged on his arm to pull him after her.
He followed, still not saying anything, and she led him across the sand and onto the street. There was a streetlight casting a perfect circle on the ground, and Beth pointed at it.
“I put them here.”
“Just to be clear,” George said, and Beth was so happy to hear the familiar jokey lilt to his voice. “You’re actually
admitting
you stole my clothes? After an entire year of claiming it must have been a passing vagrant who did it?”
It was the most encouraging thing she’d heard from him yet, but Beth hid her relieved smile.
She walked a little bit farther up the road to stand outside a green split-level house. Everything around them seemed deserted, because everyone in town was attending the bonfire.
“And this is the house you climbed on, completely naked, to yell at me,” she said. “I would climb up myself, to set the mood, but I’m kind of afraid I’d break my neck.” She laughed nervously. “Also, you know, I hate heights.”
George looked up at the roof, and then down to the end of the road, where it ended right before the woods.
“What are we doing?” he asked quietly.
Beth swallowed, hard. “I wanted to show you that I remember,” she whispered.
“That you remember what?”
“Last summer. Us.” Beth felt something lodge in her throat, tighter than before, and swallowed again, even harder. “I want to show you that I remember everything. Every little detail. No matter how…lost I got while you were away.”
George remained silent. Beth wished she could see his face, but it was dark and there were too many shadows.
“I don’t think I can do this,” he said.
“I’m not done yet!” Beth was desperate, and she could hear it in her own high-pitched voice, which had reached cartoon character levels. “It was right here, in this very spot, that I realized that I was in love with you—did you know that? And then later, we had our first kiss—”
“I remember, Beth,” George said. “I never needed reminding.”
That was all Beth needed to hear. Suddenly, she felt reckless.
And inspired.
“Stay here,” she ordered him.
Beth turned and headed through the backyard, to the rear of the house. She eyed the lattice that stretched from the ground up to the roof, and steeled herself. She was determined. Her fear of heights would just have to go away…right…now.
She began to climb—hand over hand, concentrating on the next hold and never looking down. Soon enough, she was pulling herself onto the rooftop. Her heart was banging against her chest and her breath was coming fast and shallow, like she’d just gone for a run. But she felt exhilarated.
Beth scooted across the roof on her butt, and peered over the side. George was still standing there, gazing at the ground, lost in thought.
“George!” she yelled.
He looked around, and then turned in a circle, still not seeing her.
“What the hell are you doing?” he called, sounding annoyed. “Come back here and…” His words trailed off as he glanced up, and gaped at her.
“Check me out!” Beth said, and waved.
“Beth, this isn’t funny,” he said nervously. “You’re going to hurt yourself, because if you fall, I can guarantee I’m not going to catch you.”
Beth saw she had no choice but to stand up and start shouting.
“I LOVE YOU, GEORGE!” she screamed into the night. “I LOVE
YOU,
GEORGE!”
“Beth!” he hissed.
For a second she thought about stopping, but Beth could hear that George wasn’t as pissed as he was pretending to be.
So she got louder.
“I’M SORRY, GEORGE!” she bellowed, waving her arms around. She had to close her eyes because she couldn’t look at the ground too much. “I’M SO SORRY! I LOVE YOU! BETH TUTTLE LOVES—”
“Okay!” he shouted back, and he was definitely laughing now. Lights went on a bit farther down the block. “I get it. Just come down.”
“I can’t,” Beth said.
“Uh, why not?”
“I’m afraid of heights,” Beth explained. “I’m pretty much stuck here.”
He looked up at her for a long time.
“Wow, living on a roof is going to be tough. Just think about what you’ll have to do if you need to use the bathroom.”
“George!”
“Okay,” he said finally. “I’m coming up.”
George made his way toward the lattice, and for the first time since Thursday night, Beth had an inkling that everything might just work out, after all.