Next Time (4 page)

Payton blinked rapidly. “Ew.”

“Uh-huh.” Ryann grabbed a covered tray sitting in the middle of the table beside them and pulled it close. “Want a pickle?” she asked as she peeked under the foil.

“Not after what you just told me.”

“I have much grosser tales if you’d like to hear them.”

Payton pretended to shudder. “I’ll take your word for it. You know what I just realized? We both have unisex names.”

Ryann regarded her with a look of amusement. “That was random.”

“My brain works that way.”

“My name is really Ryanna, but my siblings called me Ryann, and it stuck.”

Payton shrugged. “I have no idea why my parents chose my name. My brother calls me Paypay.”

Melanie laughed and hugged Jana when the volleyball bounced off her forehead. Ryann watched them with a warm smile. “You know, I knew that Melanie and Jana hit it off the night they met in person, but I’m still surprised at how fast they’ve completely fallen for each other. It’s sweet, like a fairytale.”

“Yeah,” Payton said, and Ryann picked up on the derision in her tone.

“You miss having your best friend all to yourself, don’t you?”

Payton nodded. “It’s wrong to wish your bestie happiness, then be jealous when she finds it. She used to have trouble sleeping, and she’d show up at my place in the middle of the night with decadent treats. We’d eat and talk for hours. I’ve lost six pounds since she’s been with Melanie. You’ve lost weight, too, not that you had any to spare. Tell me you’re not dieting.”

Ryann’s expression looked tense for a moment. “I…always drop a few pounds at the beginning of a school year and gain it all back during the holidays.”

“I imagine it’s stressful, so many kids thrust into your life all at once. You’re probably the teacher they come to when they have problems that aren’t exactly academic,” Payton said as she studied Ryann’s face.

“I take a few under my wing. It’s easy to spot the ones that have no home life. Sadly, the number always seems to be growing. There are times that I really want to hug them, but that’s so dangerous these days. We aren’t supposed to touch them, discipline, or talk to them very much on a personal level, but we’re expected to raise them in place of their parents. So, yeah, it’s stressful and a lot of times heartbreaking.”

“Your job is one of many I couldn’t do, but I’m thankful there are people who can. I couldn’t work in the medical field because I’d be an emotional basket case. Same thing for animal shelters.” Payton smiled wryly. “I’m better off in my soundproof room where I write things that make people chuckle and children have fun while learning.”

“We all need laughter and music just as much as food or water.”

Payton pointed at Ryann with a grin. “I’m gonna use that on my website.”

“Glad to be of assistance,” Ryann said with a bow of her head.

Ryann wasn’t like she was the night they met, Payton noted. She smiled and joked, but there was something in her eyes. Like she held a secret that she wanted to divulge but didn’t know whether she should. “Maybe I’m imagining things, but you seem to have the world on your shoulders today.”

For a second, Ryann looked as though she wanted to say something, then simply smiled and said, “You’re pretty observant.”

Payton was determined to press, but the game ended, and Lydia joined them and let the squirrel out.

*******

Melanie hugged Leigh and Ryann tightly. She hung on to Leigh as she said, “We’re gonna do this again very soon. I’ll give you advance warning, and I want you to be here. I really miss y’all.”

Payton was edging her way to the door, too, when Ryann turned suddenly and gave her a quick hug. “It was good seeing you again, Payton. I hope to see you at the next get-together.”

“You too. Until next time,” Payton said lamely as she noticed Leigh staring at them. If Leigh had the ability to shoot actual daggers from her eyes, Payton was certain a dozen of them would’ve been in her forehead. She lingered as the couple made their way out the door, unwilling to be outside in the dark with someone who obviously wanted to kill her.

Jana looked at her with concern. “Hey, why don’t you bunk here tonight?”

“The only thing I had to drink was a beer around three o’clock, I’m fine, just tired. And you forget that I still have to take Lydia home.”

“Where is she?” Jana looked around.

Payton sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “She’s gathering acorns in your front yard. She says she likes the big ones.”

Jana clamped her lips together tightly to keep from laughing. “They haven’t begun to fall yet.”

“She’s rooting beneath the hedge. Apparently, she found another squirrel’s stash from last year.”

Jana covered her mouth with both hands. “Oh, Payton.”

“Yeah,” Payton said with a sigh and noticed that Melanie hadn’t waited around to give her a hug like she had the rest of the guests. “Call me this week if you’re not busy, we’ll go grab a pizza or something.”

“Okay.” Jana wrapped Payton in her arms, and her body shook with silent laughter.

Chapter 4

“Okay, wait, I have questions,” Olivia said. “What was it like seeing each other again?”

“Painful,” Payton said as she stared into space. “That was a day of reckoning for me. She affected me the night we met, but she was in a relationship, and I respected that. I did my best to push her from my mind and go on, but that day…” Payton craned her head back and looked at the ceiling. “God, she looked so beautiful. I just wanted to be the one she left with, and it was so hard to see her go with Leigh. It made me ache, and after that day, I really lost the desire to get back into the dating world.”

“Disconcerting is the word I’d use,” Ryann said as she ran her finger across Payton’s cheek. “I was dealing with so many different emotions while I was preparing to end my relationship with Leigh, but when we got Melanie’s invitation, I can’t deny, my heart skipped a beat. I knew Payton would be there. I wanted to see her, and at the same time, I didn’t because the interest I tried to ignore made me feel guilty.”

Olivia made a note on her paper. “And Leigh didn’t know what you were contemplating at this time?”

Ryann shook her head and looked away. “We barely saw each other, and we didn’t talk. She was maintaining the same work schedule, and that made it easy for me to be complacent. The only reason she took time off work for that party was because Melanie begged her. We were done, it just wasn’t official yet.” She drummed her fingers on the table. “I hate to admit that I was waiting for Leigh to come home and say it was over. I don’t know why it was so hard for me to take that step. It was just so sad to me to be the one to close the book on eight years. Some part of me was waiting for her to give me one shred to hold on to. Walking away was so scary.”

*******

******

***

Payton took a break from work and went outside to collect her mail. She could hear the scrape of doggie nails on the pavement as Trevor shot down the sidewalk toward her. She knelt with a smile and petted the excited Jack Russell terrier.

“Dirt on the muzzle, you’ve been digging again. Are you helping your momma in the garden?”

“What he’s been doing isn’t what I’d describe as help.” Grace Harrison stood on the other side of the picket fence dividing their property with her hands on her broad hips. A straw hat covered her white hair, and her pink T-shirt was splattered with dirt. She brushed at it as she glared at her dog. “I’d make a rug out of his hide if it’d cover more than six inches of floor.”

“She doesn’t mean that, Trevor,” Payton whispered with a smile as she stood and wiped sweat already forming on her brow. “What’re you doing out here midday, Grace? It’s way too hot even for October.”

“Janet had to make a business trip, Sophie’s staying with me. She’s got one of those videogame things, and the noise gets on my nerves. I have her restricted to two hours of play per day, and right now is that time. I haven’t seen you lately, where’ve you been?”

“I’ve been working on a few projects.” Payton moved closer to the fence. “I’m totally stumped by a hypochondriac hippo.”

Grace shook a finger at Payton. “Good, I’m glad that’s finally being addressed with children. Nowadays, we’re all too quick to run to pills to cure our ills.”

“Good rhyme, can I use it?”

Grace held her head high. “Absolutely. Back in the day, people were tougher, they just rode the sickness out.”

“They died a lot younger, too.”

Grace was thoughtful for a moment. “You may have a point. Hey, you’re looking puny. I’m going to teach Sophie how to make a casserole for dinner. I’ll have her run you a plate over.”

“Don’t go to any extra trouble for me. Jana’s supposed to come by this evening, and we’ll probably go get a pizza.”

“Then eat the casserole for lunch tomorrow.”

Payton nodded as her stomach turned. Grace was a horrible cook. She paired things that didn’t belong together like her chicken asparagus pot pie or her okra berry cobbler. Payton felt guilty about throwing out Grace’s creations, then lying about eating them because her neighbor treated her like gold.

If not for Grace, her yard would’ve been a barren landscape of grass and cement driveway. Grace constantly rooted things and planted them in Payton’s yard. In the spring and summer, her place looked like something out of a gardening magazine. When Jana wasn’t available and Payton needed to talk, she’d join Grace in the shade for a cup of coffee and grandmotherly advice.

“You know…if you don’t want to go to the trouble of making dinner tonight, I could pick up a pizza for you and Sophie. That’s gourmet fare for a teen.”

Grace waved her off. “That child eats too much of that crap at home. At Grandma’s house, she gets her vegetables. How’re your bowel movements? Are they regular?”

“Grace, you know I love you, but let’s not talk crap.”

“Speaking of, how’s your love life?” Grace batted her lashes when Payton frowned at her.

“That’s a coffee chat. I’ll come see you when Sophie goes back home.”

“Will you cry in your coffee or make me blush?”

“Neither. I need to get my mail and get back to work.” Payton started to back away from the fence.

“Hey, I rooted a crepe myrtle for you. I think it would look great next to the birdbath over there. I have some herbs for you, too. They’ll keep you regular, especially if you’re eating pizza all the time, and I know you are. I’ve seen the boxes in your trash can. You need to stop drinking so much soda,” Grace shouted as Payton jogged to her mailbox.

*******

“Why is it when people cross the threshold of seventy, they become obsessed with shitting?”

Jana regarded her slice of pizza with a frown. “Grace got after you again?”

“Yes, she’s apparently growing herbs now. What I find even more alarming is how at length she wants to discuss consistency and—”

“No.” Jana shook her head. “Just…no.”

“Sorry.”

Jana regarded Payton for a moment. “What’s up with you? You’re kinda sullen.”

“Distracted with work, I suppose.”

“No, I know distracted. Your eyes glaze over, and you kind of nod and mouth the words of a song you hear in your head. This,” Jana waved her hand in front of Payton’s face, “is glum.”

Payton shrugged. “I dunno.”

“Are you constipated?” Jana asked with a grin.

“None of your business, Grace Junior.” Payton toyed with the crust of her pizza. “Be honest with me. Melanie doesn’t like me, does she?”

“Of course, she does.” Jana smiled. “I don’t think she likes sharing me very much. Isn’t that cute?”

Payton frowned. “No, it’s not. Right now, you’re in that goofy new love stage where everything she does is adorable. You don’t even realize that she’s slowly lowering a cage down on you. I’ll bet she cut a backflip when you asked her to move in with you. By the way, you haven’t said anything about that.”

“She said no. Well…not exactly. She’s got a while left on her lease. We talked about it a long time, and she basically stays at my place anyway, so we’re doing this trial thing. If we continue to cohabitate peacefully, she’ll move in with me when the lease is up. Besides, she paid a big deposit, and she wants it back. Now let’s get back to you. Something’s up, I can tell. I know you better than anyone on this earth. I know you in the biblical sense.”

Payton’s brow rose. “Does she know about that?”

“Oh, dear God, no. Don’t you ever let that slip in conversation.”

“Oh, yes, that could happen so easily.” Payton turned in her seat and began talking as though someone was sitting beside her. “That reminds me of the time in college when Jana and I drank a pitcher of margaritas and had sex on her kitchen floor. It was then I learned that she has a birthmark at the top of her thigh, and she has deplorable housekeeping skills. I found a fry stuck in the crack of my ass.”

“I’ve improved a lot since then.”

“On what—cleaning your floors or your skills in the sack?”

Jana grinned sardonically. “Both.”

“I wish we hadn’t done that.”

Jana rolled her eyes. “Don’t start.”

“It seems so incestuous now.” Payton propped her chin in her hand. “I can never say my first time was with the love of my youth. No, I have to admit I took my best friend for a test spin. It was a long time until I could look you in the face and not see your—”

“Hey! I don’t want to go back there.”

Payton nodded. “Better left in the past.”

“Your ass was lily white, like a fish belly,” Jana blurted out just as Payton was about to take a bite of her pizza.

Payton glared at her. “I thought we were done with that.”

“The brightness burned my retinas. You’re the reason I have to wear glasses.”

“Are you done?” Payton asked with impatience.

Jana nodded. “So what’s wrong with you?”

Payton decided to be honest. “I’ve never really felt lonely, but I do now.”

“Aw, because of me? We’ll spend more time together, I’ll make a point of it.”

“No, that’s not it,” Payton said as she watched a couple walk into the parlor where they ate.

“Then stop picking up women in mental institutions.” Jana’s eyes went wide as she said, “Lydia was nuts, no pun.”

“She so was. When I told her I thought it was best that we break things off, she unleashed Barney the Bear on me. He’s an awfully profane character.”

“I know you think Internet dating sites are bullshit, but look at me and Melanie. I feel like she was made for me. I’ll admit I did come across some strange people, but I found Mel. Sign up and have a look around. If you see a profile that looks interesting, chat with her. When you decide you want to meet someone in person, I’ll go with you like you did with me.”

“I met a nice woman the night you met Melanie,” Payton admitted with a winsome smile. “Her only fault is that she belongs to someone else.”

“Speaking of nuts, Leigh’s pretty insanely jealous. The next time we all get together, you may want to keep your distance from Ryann. I know you’d never mess with anyone in a relationship, but Leigh doesn’t, and she was really giving you the stink eye.”

“Yeah, Leigh made that point when she shook my hand and tried to squeeze the bones out of it. I’m surprised she didn’t just pee on Ryann’s leg and mark her territory. The butch meathead.”

“She said with a lot of venom.” Jana stared at Payton as she took a drink of her soda. “You can’t touch—”

“I know,” Payton snapped. She shoved her plate aside. “I just don’t like Leigh.”

Jana wiped her hands on her napkin. “Let’s go back to your house and create a profile for you. Give it a shot.”

*******

“Okay, I’ve made a list of your personality traits, good and bad. We’ll use this list to write a paragraph or two about you.”

Payton huffed. “I’ve already answered like a billion questions. Why do I need to write anything about myself? It’s all right here,” she said as she pointed at the screen.

“This is like an introduction.” Jana stared at her list. “Let’s start with the positive. You’re loyal, great sense of humor, intelligent, reliable. I’m just gonna throw this out there, you’re still kinda good-looking.”

“Ass.”

“Now for the negative. You’re sarcastic, impatient behind the wheel, you don’t cook, your retirement plan sucks because you don’t have one. You spend most of your time in a padded room.”

“It’s a studio.”

Jana tapped her pen on the desk. “Get serious, or you’re gonna end up with another squirrel.”

“Let’s just write the damn paragraph.”

“You’re impulsive, often cranky, can be pushy, you—”

Payton snatched the paper out of Jana’s hand. “I can’t help but notice the negative list is longer than the positive.” Her jaw sagged. “It goes down the page!”

“Hey, I’m just being honest here.”

Payton tossed the paper aside and began to talk as she typed. “If you’re in touch with your inner squirrel, I’m not your girl. I like the theater, especially musicals. I don’t care much for sports, but I’d sit beside the right woman on Sunday afternoons if football makes her swoon. I like to talk and walk, I can do both at the same time and still chew gum. If you’re lazy, hit the bricks, Daisy, I’m not looking for a bum. I don’t cook, but for the right woman, I’d learn and happily do it while she read a book. If what I’ve written doesn’t make you uneasy, take a chance and chat with me.”

“Don’t you dare send that!” Jana wasn’t fast enough to stop Payton from hitting the enter key. She sat back with a scowl. “You’re not taking this seriously at all. That’s going in the negative column.”

“Better get a fresh sheet of paper,” Payton said offhandedly as she began to look at some of the profiles. “I’m not putting my picture on here. Oh, shit! That’s scary.” She clicked onto the next page. “Jana, this woman has a beard.”

“We’ve talked about this before, you need reading glasses. You’re looking at available straight men. Click the tab on the right and find ‘lesbian’ if you can.”

“My eyesight is fine.”

“Yeah?” Jana moved closer to Payton. “You just clicked Latino.” She nudged Payton’s hand out of the way and performed the search. “I’m not too familiar with this site. It isn’t one I used, but it’s local. I think you’ll have better luck because you’re going to need it.”