Night Moves (The Night Songs Collection) (29 page)

A
s the warm, sweet tang of Ryder’s blood exploded in my mouth, I wondered what this really meant to him. He was still handing me over to Talis. Above the law. I sucked greedily, filling the dark recesses of my body that doubted him with his essence. He moaned and cried out, but I didn’t listen.

Forget Rachel. I was the one that didn’t belong anywhere. I wasn’t even sure that death would welcome me.

“Babe, no more.” Ryder’s voice sounded soft but urgent all at once as he eased me away from his body. Blood dripped down my chin. I no longer felt human, I felt like an animal. The room swam in front of me and his beautiful face looked like a surrealist painting. I half fell, half rested my head on his chest. “You’ve got to be careful. Don’t take too much.”

“Did I hurt you?” I tried to pick my head back up, but I felt the blood rise in my throat. The room spun. I kept it down on his bare chest.

“No. But I don’t want you to take too much.” He smoothed my hair as I licked my lips to clean the blood from them. “I like you just the way you are.”

“I’m scared,” I moved my head just enough so I could look him in the eye. “That she’s going to kill me. And you’re bringing me there.”

“No.” He continued to run his fingers through my hair. I wanted it to comfort me, but I was far too anxious. “We want her to be our ally.”

“You want me to kiss her ass.” I wanted to get up off of him, but I was trapped.

Ryder sighed, reading my mind, and slid out from underneath my body. I grabbed for the pillow as he sat up, running his hands through his hair. “Tell me what other options we have. I’m bound to her. She’s my creator. You are trapped here with me. If we don’t partner with her, we’re dead for sure. I know you think it’s a sign of weakness, but it’s survival. We can only move forward, we can’t go back and fix the things that got us here.”

His words stung. He knew his own Achilles heel. He was too agreeable, too laid back, too trusting. And me, I wanted the world and I wanted it now. His solution made perfect sense. I tried not to let it feel like a scolding. Ryder was level headed when I was hot. He thought about things when I sprang headfirst into action. It still landed us in the same place, but I had no reason or choice but to trust him.

I slept so well after having Ryder’s blood. My dreams were strange but comforting. I didn’t want to leave them, even though consciousness pulled me into a new evening.

Ryder was already up. Guitar riffs bounced down the hallway as I dug through the refrigerator looking for something to make for breakfast. I had to settle for a bagel with butter. It was hard to rely on people who didn’t eat to do your food shopping.

The house was too quiet. Rachel would stay in her room, nose in a book, until one of us retrieved her. But Erin always held court on the couch, watching gossip shows and recorded soap operas. Her blankets, usually thoughtlessly thrown back, were carefully folded with her pillow on top and on the edge of the couch.

“Babe?” I called down the hall, swallowing a mouthful of bagel. “Where’s Erin?”

“She went home.” Ryder said between guitar licks. He slid his finger up the length of the guitar neck, holding the string down and making it cry out. I shuddered, thinking how he did the same to me.

“But Polina. She’s not safe by herself.” I started pacing in the small studio.

“Her neighbor is a security specialist. She came to pick her up. Polina doesn’t have any reason to know where Erin lives. Erin needs to get on with her life, babe. Sitting here with us isn’t good for her. She’s dying right along with Drake. She doesn’t have any reason to hide.”

“I just hope she doesn’t do anything stupid. She’s too trusting. She’s always going off on these crazy jobs, and it’s just a matter of time before something happens to her. She already got called in to talk to the police in Denver. What if they’re watching her?”

“This is why we all want Talis on our side. Talis never had a problem with Erin. In fact, she could probably make Erin a huge star in adult entertainment.” Ryder’s eyes sparkled, thinking of the possibilities.

“But she can’t be a vampire.” I protested.

“Lucky her. Not everyone in her organization has to be a vampire. Only if she wants special control over them. This is what I’ve been trying to tell you. A lot of people in this city make a nice living thanks to The Mistress.”

“I never thought of it that way.” I said, settling on the arm of the chair Ryder worked in, my thigh against his arm.

He put down the guitar and pulled me into his lap. “Think positive. Not everyone’s out to get you.” He kissed the top of my head.

“But I’m not a rock star, or some gorgeous model who anyone would pay to see take their clothes off.” I rolled my eyes as Ryder scoffed. “What if she thinks I’m useless? What if she wants me gone?”

“You make me happy, and that’s more than anyone could ever ask for.” Ryder murmured. “She wants to keep me happy. I’m one of her work horses.”

“It’s just too simple.” My arms flailed up, and I jumped a little in his lap. I probably would have gotten back up if Ryder’s arms weren’t around me. “I mean, I always thought I had to prove something, work, have some purpose. All you want me to do is be me.”

He smiled. “It’s harder than you thought, isn’t it?”

“It’s impossible!” I had to laugh, too. I forgot how good it felt. We hadn’t had much to laugh about lately. “I don’t even know who I am anymore. In college, I just wanted to finish and get a job. Then my job consumed me. Now that all that is gone, I need to find me.”

I looked at Ryder, feeling the tears well in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry. This wasn’t a poor Melanie moment. I refused to turn it into one.

“When did you start college? Six, seven years ago?” Ryder’s thumb caressed my jawbone as his finger wiped away an escaped teardrop. I nodded. “It took you that long to get to this place. You’re not going to change all of that overnight. No one is expecting that but you. We have a close knit, dysfunctional little three ring traveling circus of a family that loves you. I love you. When are you going to love you?”

The tears just fell at his words. Screw being stoic. “How many times have I asked you the same thing?” I smiled at the irony.

“Not enough to make me start doing it.” His smile was as sad as mine. “Someday, we’ll see in ourselves what we see in each other.”

R
achel wasn’t faring well all cooped up in her hidey hole with just me, Ryder, and an occasional visit from Josiah. New vampires consumed a lot of energy. A lot of changes were taking place in her body, the metamorphosis took time. She was still learning how to be immortal. I could tell she was frustrated, and I sympathized with her. She was a flower that wanted to bloom. Instead she’d only see sunshine in her memory. Her face was graying out from lack of interaction with others. She slept all the time.

“You should probably leave her alone.” Ryder suggested. “She might not be able to control herself around you.”

“But she needs to have life around her! I thought you guys didn’t need blood.”

“It would help her tremendously.” Ryder frowned. “Someone’s going to need to take her out.”

“Call Josiah. They seem to be getting along really well.” I prayed that if Rachel and Josiah coupled off, maybe the vampire powers that be would spare her. She could just be a happy little vampire homemaker, not vying for control of anyone’s clan. Everyone could live happily ever afterlife.

“But if she’s spotted by the wrong people, bad things could happen. We don’t need any vigilante vampires taking matters into their own hands.”

“How would they know?” I didn’t want Ryder’s cautiousness to do more harm than good.

“We know our own kind, babe.” He served me a plate of chicken picata, noodles and peas. One of my favorites. I took a bite, my eyes rolled back in my head with pleasure. Just as good as my mom made. “We can pull the wool over human’s eyes, but we see things you can’t.”

“So you’re like a dog hearing white noise?” I teased.

“Exactly.” He smiled, sitting across from me to watch me eat after topping off my glass of wine. I used to feel funny, eating when he didn’t. It’s such a girl complex. None of us want to out eat our boyfriends. But if I didn’t out eat this one, I’d starve to death. Plus, being the only human in the house with two vampires, they fed off of my energy. I felt like I was training for some sort of supernatural marathon. “How is it?”

“Delicious.” I held up my wine glass to his. “I’m so sad you can’t have any.”

“You’ll taste like it later.” He winked. “I guess I’ll call Josiah. He can share blood with her, maybe bring her to the Alta Vista or something, where he can go in a back door. At least there will be enough people around for her.”

“That sounds like the perfect solution. I’m kind of jealous. I’ve only seen a little bit of the strip, I’m dying to go experience things.”

“Patience, babe. Patience.” He got up from the table, putting the phone to his ear.

So if Talis gave me her stamp of approval, would my life just return to normal? I didn’t really know what normal was anymore. But I’d love to drive around, hang out with Erin, make friends, and actually do things. I hadn’t been this stuck in the house since it rained on summer vacation in middle school. There had to be a happy medium between working myself to death and nothing. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know the questions to ask. Ryder had never been through this before, either. His relationship with Shannon took a nose dive when he became immortal. She hadn’t been interested in adjusting. She also hadn’t been a fugitive.

“You look pretty.” I reassured Rachel when she emerged from her bedroom for Josiah’s arrival. It was bullshit. She looked sickly, but that was the last thing she needed to hear. Josiah didn’t seem to mind or notice, he beamed when he saw her. It made me feel all squishy inside.

“Thanks.” She knew I was lying. I guess I should avoid the poker tables if I ever got to go to any casinos. She pulled me aside while Josiah talked to Ryder. “I’m nervous. We’re spending the night together.”

“Really?” I clapped my hands together with excitement. Wait a minute. “You’ve done that before, right?”

She shook her head and looked at her feet.

“Oh my God!” I squealed, not to shame her, but to share her anticipation. “Rachel, everything’s going to be great. I promise you. Don’t be nervous.”

“I just feel stupid.” She still wouldn’t look at me. “I already died a virgin once, I don’t want to do it again. I was so desperate and stupid to lose it that I wound up like this.”

“Stop saying you’re stupid.” I tried to get her to look me in the eye. “Josiah doesn’t think you’re stupid. And we all have a first time. Plus, I’m sure it’s totally different as a vampire. I know the blood is mind altering for me. It will be even better for you.”

Rachel smiled nervously and jumped when Josiah came into the room. He looped his arm in hers and kissed her. They were so cute together it made me sick. They headed out, and I grinned like an idiot as the door closed behind them.

“Aren’t they cute?” Ryder half mocked me. I wanted to tell him Rachel’s secret but I thought better of it. She wouldn’t want that broadcast through the house. But I did need to get in touch with Erin. She would think the whole thing was as adorable as I did.

“Oh, shut up and let me be a romantic.” I threw a pillow at him. “I feel like I just sent my baby to the prom.”

“I know, right?” Ryder threw the pillow back at me and dove on the couch after it. “I didn’t give her a curfew, though.”

“They’re spending the night together.” I raised my eyebrows.

“Nice.” Ryder approved. “I just hope Josiah’s smart about this. He’s got to be careful with her.”

“Isn’t there any way Talis will let her be?” I pleaded, not like it made any difference. “I know she doesn’t care about power.”

“It’s in her nature.” Ryder sighed. “She’s still coming into her own. I wish there was a place for her. I really do. But I’m not betting on it.”

“I hate vampires sometimes.” I hugged my pillow and pouted. “You guys and your stupid rules.”

“Believe me, babe. I feel the same way.”