Nights with Uncle Remus (28 page)

“Lil gal, you mek me 'come mad. I no lak fer hu't-a me kin. Look at me ho'n! I run you troo un troo.'

“B'er Rabbit lif' 'e two year up; 'e p'int um stret at da lil gal. Lil gal 'come skeer da ho'n; 'e do tu'n go da gett; 'e fly fum dey-dey.”

“Well, ef dat don't beat!” exclaimed Aunt Tempy, laughing as heartily as the little boy. “Look at um one way, en Rabbit year does look lak sho 'nuff ho'ns.”

“Lil gal tu'n go da gett,” Daddy Jack continued; “B'er Rabbit
gone!
Màn come bahk; 'e ahx wey is B'er Rabbit. Lil gal cry; 'e say 'e skeer Brer Rabbit ho'n. Màn say 'e is hab no ho'n. Lil gal is stan' um down 'e see ho'n. Màn say da ho'n is nuttin' 'tall but B'er Rabbit year wut 'e yeddy wit'. 'E tell lil gal nex' tam B'er Rabbit come, 'e mus' shed da gett; 'e mus' run fum dey-dey un leaf um shed. Lil gal say yasser.

“Màn gone, B'er Rabbit come. 'E is go in da gett; 'e eat-a dem pea tell 'e tire'. 'E try fer go pas' da gett; gett shed. 'E call lil gal; lil gal
gone!
'E call, call, call; lil gal no yeddy. 'E try fer fine crack in da palin': no crack dey. 'E try fer jump over: de palin' too high. 'E 'come skeer; 'e is 'come so skeer, 'e squot 'pun da groun'; 'e shek, 'e shiver.

“Màn come bahk. 'E ahx wey B'er Rabbit. Lil gal say 'e in da geerden. Màn hug lil gal, 'e is lub um so. 'E go in da geerden; 'e fine B'er Rabbit. 'E ketch um—'e ca' um off fer kill um; 'e mad fer true. Lil gal come holler:

“ ‘Daddy, daddy! missus say run dere! 'E wan' you come stret dere!'

“Màn tie B'er Rabbit in da bag; 'e hang um on tree lim'. 'E say:

“ ‘I gwan come bahk. I l'arn you fer mek cud wit' me green pea.'

“Màn gone fer see 'e missus. Bumbye, B'er 'Possum is bin-a come pas'. 'E look up, 'e ketch glimp' da bag 'pun da lim'. 'E say:

“ ‘Ki! Wut dis is bin-a hang in da bag 'pun da treelim'?' B'er Rabbit say:

“ ‘Hush, B'er 'Possum! 'Tis-a me. I bin-a lissen at dem sing in da cloud.'

“B'er 'Possum lissen. 'E say:

“ ‘I no yed dem sing, B'er Rabbit.'

“ ‘Hush, B'er 'Possum! How is I kin yeddy dem sing wun you is mek-a fuss dey-dey?'

“B'er 'Possum, 'e hol' 'e mout' still, 'cep' 'e do grin. B'er Rabbit say:

“ ‘I yed dem now! I yed dem now! B'er 'Possum, I wish you is yeddy dem sing!'

“B'er 'Possum say 'e mout' water fer yeddy dem sing in da cloud. B'er Rabbit, 'e say 'e is bin-a hab so long tam 'quaintun wit' B'er 'Possum, e le'm yeddy dem sing. 'E say:

“ ‘I git fum da bag, I tun-a you in tell you is yeddy dem sing. Dun you is git fum da bag, tell I do come bahk un 'joy mese'f.'

“B'er 'Possum, 'e do clam up da tree; 'e git dem bag, 'e bring um down. 'E tak off da string; 'e tu'n B'er Rabbit go. 'E crawl in un 'e quile up. 'E say:

“I no yeddy dem sing, B'er Rabbit!'

“ ‘Hi! wait tell da bug it tie; B'er 'Possum. You yed dem soon 'nuff!' 'E wait.

“ ‘I no yeddy dem sing, B'er Rabbit!'

“ ‘Hi! wait tell I calm da tree, B'er 'Possum. You yed dem soon 'nuff!' 'E wait.

“ ‘I no yeddy dem sing, B'er Rabbit!'

“ ‘Wait till I fix um 'pun da lim', B'er 'Possum. You yed dem soon 'nuff!' 'E wait.

“ ‘B'er Rabbit clam down; 'e run 'way fum dey-dey; 'e hide in da bush side. Màn come bahk. 'E see da bag moof. B'er 'Possum say:

“ ‘I no yeddy dem sing. I wait fer yed um sing!”

“Màn tink 'e B'er Rabbit in da bag. 'E say:

“ ‘Ah-yi-ee! I mekky you yed dem sing!'

“Màn tek-a da bag fum da tree-lim'; 'e do slam da bag 'gin da face da ye't'. 'E tek-a 'e walkin'-cane, un 'e beat B'er Possum wut is do um no ha'm tell 'e mos' kill um. Màn tink B'er Rabbit mus' bin dead by dis. 'E look in da bag; 'e 'tretch 'e y-eye big; 'e 'stonish. B'er Rabbit, 'e do come fum da bush side; 'e do holler, 'e do laff. 'E say:

“ ‘You no is ketch-a me! I t'ief you' green pea—I t'ief um some mo'—I t'ief um tel I dead!'

“Man, 'e 'come so mad, 'e is fling hatchet at B'er Rabbit un chop off 'e tail.”

At this moment Daddy Jack subsided. His head drooped forward, and he was soon in the land of Nod. Uncle Remus sat gazing into the fireplace, as though lost in reflection. Presently, he laughed softly to himself, and said:

“Dat's des 'bout de long en de short un it. Mr. Man clip off Brer Rabbit tail wid de hatchet, en it bleed so free dat Brer Rabbit rush off ter de cotton-patch en put some lint on it, en down ter dis day dat lint mos' de fus thing you see w'en Brer Rabbit jump out'n he bed en tell you good-bye.”

“But, Uncle Remus, what became of Brother 'Possum?”

Uncle Remus smacked his lips and looked wise.

“Don't talk 'bout Brer 'Possum, honey, ef dat ar Mr. Man wuz nice folks lak we all is, en I aint 'spute it, he tuck'n tuck Brer 'Possum en bobbycue 'im, en I wish I had a great big piece right now. Dat I does.”

XXXIII

One night, while the little boy was watching Uncle Remus broil a piece of bacon on the coals, he heard a great commotion among the guinea-fowls. The squawking and
pot-racking
went on at such a rate that the geese awoke and began to scream, and finally the dogs added their various voices to uproar. Uncle Remus leaned back in his chair and listened.

“I speck may be dat's de patter-rollers gwine by,” he said, after a while. “But you can't put no 'pen'unce in dem ar Guinny-hins, kaze dey'll wake up en holler ef dey year deyse'f sno'. Dey'll fool you, sho.”

“They are mighty funny, anyhow,” said the little boy.

“Dat's it!” exclaimed Uncle Remus. “Dey looks quare, en dey does quare. Dey aint do lak no yuther kinder chick'n, en dey aint look lak no yuther kinder chick'n. Yit folks tell me,” the old man went on, reflectively, “dat dey er heap mo' kuse lookin' now dan w'at dey use 'ter be. I year tell day dey wuz one time w'en dey wuz all blue, 'stid er havin' all dem ar teenchy little spots on um.”

“Well, how did they get to be speckled, Uncle Remus?” asked the little boy, seeing that the old man was disposed to leave the subject and devote his attention to his broiling bacon.

Uncle Remus did not respond at once. He turned his meat over carefully, watched it a little while, and then adroitly transferred it to the cover of a tin bucket, which was made to answer the purpose of a plate. Then he searched about in the embers until he found his ash-cake, and in a little while his supper was ready to be eaten.

“I aint begrudgin' nobody nothin',” said Uncle Remus, measuring the victuals with his eye; “yit I'm monst'us glad Brer Jack aint nowhar's 'roun', kaze dey aint no tellin' de gawm dat ole nigger kin eat. He look shaky, en he look dry up, en he aint got no toof, yit w'ence he set hisse'f down whar dey any vittles, he des nat'ally laps hit up. En let 'lone dat, he ull wipe he mouf en look 'roun' des lak he want mo'. Time Miss Sally see dat ole nigger eat one meal er vittles, I boun' you he hatter go back down de country. I aint begrudgin' Brer Jack de vittles,” Uncle Remus went on, adopting a more conciliatory tone, “dat I aint, kaze folks is got ter eat; but, gentermens! you be 'stonish' w'en you see Brer Jack 'psterin' 'long er he dinner.”

The little boy sat quiet awhile, and then reminded Uncle Remus of the guinea-fowls.

“Tooby sho, honey, tooby sho! W'at I doin' runnin' on dis a-way 'bout ole Brer Jack? W'at he done ter me? Yer I is gwine on 'bout Brer Jack, en dem ar Guinny-hins out dar waitin'. Well, den, one day Sis Cow wuz a-grazin' 'bout in de ole fiel' en lookin' atter her calf. De wedder wuz kinder hot, en de calf, he tuck'n stan', he did, in he mammy shudder, so he kin keep cool, en so dat one flip un he mammy tail kin keep the flies off'n bofe 'un um. Atter w'ile, 'long come a drove er Guinnies. De Guinnies, dey howdied, en Sis Cow, she howdied, en de Guinnies, dey sorter picked 'roun' en sun deyse'f; en Sis Cow, she crap the grass en ax um de news er de neighborhoods. Dey went on dis a-way twell 'twant 'long 'fo' dey year mighty kuse noise out dar t'er side er de old fiel'. De Guinnies, dey make great 'miration, des lak dey does deze days, en old Sis Cow fling up 'er head en look all 'roun'. She aint see nothin'.

“Atter w'ile dey year de kuse fuss 'gin, en dey look 'roun', en bless gracious! stan'in' right dar, 'twix' dem en sundown, wuz a great big Lion!”

“A Lion, Uncle Remus?” asked the little boy, in amazement.

“Des ez sho ez you er settin' dar, honey—a great big Lion. You better b'leeve dey wuz a monst'us flutterment 'mungs de Guinnies, en ole Sis Cow, she looked mighty skeer'd. De Lion love cow meat mos' better dan he do any yuther kinder meat, en he shake he head en 'low ter hisse'f dat he'll des about ketch ole Sis Cow en eat 'er up, and take en kyar de calf ter he fambly.

“Den he tuck'n shuck he head, de Lion did, en make straight at Sis Cow. De Guinnies dey run dis a-way, en dey run t'er way, en dey run all 'roun' en 'roun'; but ole Sis Cow, she des know she got ter stan' 'er groun', en w'en she see de Lion makin' todes 'er, she des tuck'n drapt'er head down en pawed de dirt. De Lion, he crope up, he did, en crope 'roun'; watchin' fer good chance fer ter make a jump. He crope 'roun', he did, but no diffunce which a-way he creep, dar wuz ole Sis Cow hawns p'intin' right straight at 'im. Ole Sis Cow, she paw de dirt, she did, en show de white er her eyes, en beller way down in 'er stomach.

“Dey went on dis a-way, dey did, twell bimeby de Guinnies, dey see dat Sis Cow aint so mighty skeerd, en den dey 'gun ter take heart. Fus' news you know, one un um sorter drap he wings en fuzzle up de fedders, en run out 'twix' Sis Cow en de Lion. W'en he get dar, he sorter dip down, he did, en fling up dirt des lak you see um do in de ash-pile. Den he tuck'n run back, he did, en time he git back, 'n'er one run out en raise de dus' 'twix' Sis Cow en de Lion. Den 'n'er one, he run out en dip down en shoo up de dus'; den 'n'er one run out en dip down, en 'n'er one, en yit 'n 'er one, twell, bless gracious! time dey all run out en dip down en raise de dus', de Lion wuz dat blin' twell he aint kin see he han' befo' 'im. Dis make 'im so mad dat he make a splunge at Sis Cow, en de ole lady, she kotch him on her hawns en got 'im down, en des nat'ally to' intruls out.”

“Did she kill the Lion, Uncle Remus?” asked the little boy, incredulously.

“Dad she did—dat she did! Yit 'taint make 'er proud, kaze atter Lion done good en dead, she tuck en call up de Guinnies, she did, en she 'low, dey bin so quick fer ter he'p 'er out, dat she wanter pay um back. De Guinnies, dey say, sezee:

“ ‘Don't bodder 'long er we all, Sis Cow,' sezee. ‘You had yo' fun en we all had ourn, en 'ceppin dat ar blood en ha'r on yo' hawn,' sezee, ‘dey aint none un us any de wuss off,' sezee.

“But ole Sis Cow, she stan' um down, she did, dat she got ter pay um back, en den atter w'ile she ax um w'at dey lak bes'.

“One un um up en make answer dat w'at dek lak bes', Sis Cow, she can't gi' um. Sis Cow, she up en 'low dat she dunno 'bout dat, en she ax um w'at is it.

“Den de Guinnies, dey tuck'n huddle up, dey did, en hol' er confab wid on er n'er, en w'iles dey er doin' dis, ole Sis Cow, she tuck'n fetch a long breff, en den she call up 'er cud, en stood dar chawin' on it des lak she aint had no tribalation dat day.

“Bimeby one er de Guinnies step out fum de huddlement en make a bow en 'low day dey all 'ud be mighty proud ef Sis Cow kin fix it some way so dey can't be seed so fur thoo de woods, kase dey look blue in de sun, en dey look blue in de shade, en dey can't hide deyse' no how. Sis Cow, she shaw on 'er cud, en shet 'er eyes, en study. Bimeby she 'low:

“ ‘Go fetch me a pail!' Guinny-hin laff!

“ ‘Law, Sis Cow! w'at de name er goodness you gwine do wid a pail?'

“ ‘Go fetch me a pail!'

“ ‘Guinny-hin, she run'd off, she didn'en atter w'ile yer she come trottin' back wid a pail. She sot dat pail down,” continued Uncle Remus, in the tone of an eyewitness to the occurrence, en Sis Cow, she tuck 'er stan' over it, en she let down 'er milk in dar twell she mighty nigh fill de pail full. Den she tuck'n make dem Guinny-hins git in a row, en she dip 'er tail in dat ar pail, en she switch it at de fust un en sprinkle 'er all over wid de milk; en eve'y time she switch 'er tail at um she 'low:

“ ‘I loves dis un!' Den she 'ud sing:

“She tuck'n sprinkle de las' one un um, en de Guinnies, dey sot in de sun twell dey git dry, en fum dat time out dey got dem little speckles un um.”

XXXIV

“DEY was one time,” said Uncle Remus one night, as they all sat around the wide hearth—Daddy Jack, Aunt Tempy, and the little boy in their accustomed places—“dey wuz one time w'en de t'er creeturs push Brer Rabbit so close dat he tuck up a kinder idee that may be he wa'nt ez smart ez he mout be, en he study 'bout dis plum twell he git humble ez de nex' man. 'Las' he 'low ter hisse'f dat he better make inquirements—”