NIKOLAI (Her Russian Protector #4) (27 page)

Our wedding was only a few days away. We should
have been excited to start this new phase of our lives together.
Instead of focusing on creating a home and family together, we were
both constantly thinking about the danger that awaited us. The
looming threat hanging over us would suck the joy right out of what
should have been the happiest day of our lives.

Nikolai's lips ghosted across the crown of my
head. "No one is going to hurt you."

"What about you? Who is going to keep you
safe?"

"I'm handling it, Vee."

He spoke so calmly and sounded so assured. It
occurred to me that Nikolai was probably running a hidden endgame
that he was deliberately keeping from me. I wanted to be annoyed
with him but I had a feeling he was trying to protect me. There
really were some things I didn't need—or want—to know.

He gently tilted my head back and peered down
into in my eyes. "I won't let anything ruin our wedding day. It
will be perfect for you."

Warmth spread through my chest and curled
around my heart as the knowledge that he would do anything to make
me happy. "I can only imagine the number of favors you've had to
call in to make that promise to me."

His lips briefly touched mine before
he whispered, "You're worth it,
solnyshko
moyo."

Chapter Seventeen

Before I knew it, I was
standing in an anteroom of the church while Lena fussed over my
gown and veil. The days between my last dress fitting and our
wedding had sped by so quickly. My tummy fluttered with a wild
swarm of nervous little butterflies.

"You okay?" Lena shot me a
knowing look as she dabbed at my hairline with a tissue. "You're
starting to sweat, Vivi."

"It's nerves." I played with my
engagement ring. The familiar weight of the diamonds and gold felt
so right on my finger.

She put her hands on my
shoulders and stared into my eyes. "Are you sure you want to do
this? There's still time to call it off."

If anyone else had asked me
that question, I would have been irritated or angry. Lena asked
because she loved me and wanted what was best for me. "I know what
I'm doing. I want to marry Nikolai."

"You're not just marrying
Nikolai. You're marrying all of it."

She wasn't saying anything I
hadn't already considered. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't
proper—but I couldn't change the way I felt. "I love him. All of
him."

"I know you do." Her gentle
smile eased the slight sting of disappointment. "Whatever my
disagreements with his line of work, I know that he loves you so
much, Vivi." She primped my cap sleeve and inhaled a short breath.
"So—let's do this. Let's get you married and started on the next
chapter of your life. A very happy chapter," she added with a
grin.

I slipped my arms around Lena
and hugged her. "I love you, Lena. I'm really glad that you're with
me today."

"You're my best friend in the
whole world. Where else would I be?" Her dark eyes glistened with
tears. She caught the tears threatening to spill from my lashes
onto my cheeks with the tissue. "See! I told you that expensive
mega waterproof mascara was worth it."

We giggled as she touched up
the minimal makeup I'd worn today. I'd been to weddings here at St.
Vladimir's where brides came in fresh-faced but I'd chosen a
natural look with just the slightest hint of color.

"You're going to blow them
away," Lena said as she bumped me aside with her hip so she could
get a better look at her reflection in the mirror.

"Says the maid of honor who
upstaged the bride," I teased. With her darker skin, she could pull
off colors I could only dream about, especially that buttery yellow
satin. The shawl collar highlighted her neck and collarbones. The
diamonds she wore today were the same ones she'd worn to Benny's
wedding to Dimitri. Apparently, they were officially her good luck
diamonds now.

She rolled her eyes and
adjusted the tilt to her hat. "Oh, please. You're the one who looks
like a fairytale princess. The rest of us will be invisible once
they get a look at you."

A knock at the door announced
Sveta's appearance. The older waitress had long been a good friend
and supporter of mine. A friend of my grandmother, she'd taken me
under her wing when I'd started attending services at St.
Vladimir's and had been my godmother when I'd been baptized into
the faith. Now, all these years later, she had happily agreed to
stand as my
koumbara
, my Orthodox
sponsor in marriage.

Sveta smiled at me. "It's
almost time, sweetheart. Are you ready?"

I took one final look in the
mirror. The last few apprehensions fled. There was no one else in
the world I wanted but Nikolai. "I'm ready."

Gathering up my short train and
the yards of lace from my mantilla veil, Lena followed close behind
me as we left the small dressing area. I'd taken six steps outside
of the dressing room before I saw Eric standing in the hallway.
Dressed in a crisp, dark suit he looked like one of the wedding
guests but I doubted he'd come to celebrate.

"Vivian." His face a mask of
anxiety and regret, he hurried to close the distance between
us.

My stomach pitched. Was he
going to go off on me again? Right here? Just minutes away from my
wedding? "Eric."

He gripped my hands but didn't
speak for a handful of tense seconds. "I shouldn't have said those
ugly things to you at the gallery. I'm sorry, Vivian. I really am.
I was just so angry—but that doesn't make it right. I'm sorry. So
sorry."

My heart softened toward him.
"I forgive you, Eric."

He rubbed the lace of my veil
between his fingers. "I don't agree with the choice you've made.
Honestly, I came here intending to drag you out of
here."

Lena took a step forward.
"Eric—"

"But," he looked pointedly in
her direction, "I'm not going to do that. You're my cousin. You're
my family, and I love you. I don't want to lose you from my
life."

"I don't want to lose you
either."

"You won't." He stepped beside
me and offered his arm. "I know you guys don't do that whole
'giving away the bride' thing but I'd like to walk you the rest of
the way."

My eyes prickled with heat as I
slipped my arm around his. Eric represented the last link to my
blood family. Even if he didn't like my decision, it meant so much
to me to have him with me today. "Thank you, Eric."

He leaned down and kissed my
temple. "I love you, kiddo. If this is what you want, then let's do
it." He glanced back at Lena and grinned. "If I get the urge to
stand up and interrupt the wedding, I'm sure one good kick from
Lena with those pointy high heels of hers will shut me right
up."

The tension between us faded
with the laughter we shared. Arm in arm, I let Eric escort me down
the hall where I would meet with Nikolai—and begin my new life as
his wife.

*

Nikolai rested his hand against
the cold window and stared at the empty benches under the trees.
There were birds hopping along the ground but he wasn't paying them
much attention. His thoughts were occupied with
Vivian.

He'd never wanted anything as
much as he wanted her. Right or wrong, he couldn't imagine a day in
his life without her by his side. He needed her like he needed air.
She was the sunshine that promised to illuminate the darkness in
his world. He craved her loving heat.

But the fear that he was going
to ruin her life gripped him. The chilly fingers of dread blossomed
in his belly and spread through his chest. All those old fears
returned. She was too good for him. She was too innocent. She
deserved so much better than a man like him.

Guilt seized him as he thought
of taking her as his wife and binding her to him forever. Could he
do this?
Should
he do this?

Yuri cleared his throat. "Don't
get angry but I have to tell you something that you're probably not
going to like."

Torn from his conflicted
thoughts, Nikolai glanced back at his best man.
"What?"

"Eric Santos is here. He's with
Vivian."

Nikolai's heart stuttered in
his chest. "What does he want?"

"I don't know. He didn't look
like he was ready for a fight. He's in a suit. He spoke with the
priest." Yuri stepped forward to adjust Nikolai's tie. "I think he
came to make peace."

Nikolai grunted. "I'll believe
that when I see it."

"I didn't say peace with you. I
meant peace with her." Yuri brushed his hands across Nikolai's
shoulders. "They are family. When you give her your name today, you
take her family as yours. Remember that."

"I've never tried to separate
them."
Not even when I wanted to
break his legs for making her cry…

"I'll ask Dimitri to keep an
eye on him during the reception. They get along
well."

Nikolai understood that Yuri
was trying to head off any awkwardness at the celebration. "That's
a good idea."

"Well, you know me. I'm just
full of good ideas."

Nikolai snorted. "You're full
of something all right."

Yuri laughed. His expression
grew serious. Grasping Nikolai's shoulders, he asked, "Are you
ready to do this?"

Did Yuri sense his
second-thoughts? "I'm ready."

"Good." Yuri clapped him on the
back. "I was sure you wouldn't get cold feet but a best man is
supposed to ask these kinds of things. If there are any doubters
still questioning your love and commitment toward Vivian, they must
not have heard about your five-hour confession with that poor
father."

Nikolai glared at his friend.
"It wasn't five!"

Yuri's smile turned teasing.
"We had bets on whether or not they'd have to call an ambulance to
revive him."

He shot Yuri a look that would
have frozen most men in place. "It wasn't easy for me
either."

Yuri's expression turned
kinder. "The things we do for love rarely are."

"So I've learned."

Joking again, Yuri asked, "How big of a
donation did the priest wrangle out of you?"

"That's between me, the priest and God,"
Nikolai evaded. He didn't tell Yuri that Father Semyon had reminded
him that no man was beyond God's grace. The priest's words still
unsettled him. There were many miracles Nikolai believed possible
but saving his soul wasn't among them.

The deacon gave a warning knock before entering
the small chamber where they waited. "It's nearly time,
Nikolai."

Nikolai nodded but remained silent. His
heartbeat ticked up a few notches now that the moment was upon
him.

"Oh! I almost forgot." The deacon reached under
his vestments and retrieved some folded papers. "I was supposed to
return these official documents to you at your last premarital
counseling session."

Nikolai accepted the papers from the
absentminded deacon. Before he could say thank you, the man turned
and left. Yuri's bemused expression said it all. "Interesting
guy."

"You don't know the half of it," Nikolai
grumbled, thinking of the excruciating counseling sessions he'd
attended with Vivian. They'd had surprisingly few disagreements
when it came to the topics covered but the long-winded deacon made
the sessions feel like torture. He'd rather sit in that cold metal
chair in Kostya's storage locker than listen to another droning
lecture from the deacon.

"What did he give you?"

Nikolai flicked through the papers in question.
"Vivian's birth certificate, her baptismal certificate…" His voice
faded to nothing as a document he hadn't provided to the priest
came into view.

"What's wrong?" Yuri moved closer for a better
look. He scanned the document in question. "Is that your birth
certificate? Where the hell did you find this?"

"I didn't."

"How did the priest get it?"

Nikolai shook his head. "He sent off for my
church records. Ivan gave him the contact information for the
priest back home. The priest there must have had a
copy."

"Kolya." Yuri's panicked voice and tapping
finger drew his gaze back down to the certificate in question. "Is
that—?"

Nikolai had to read the name listed as his
biological father's four times. "That's not possible."