Nila's Hope (15 page)

Could she hear his heart?

Then she sat up, dislodging Will's head from hers.

“And just when I needed it most, your mom introduced me to Jesus.” She lifted her eyes to his and smiled a wobbly smile. “She showed me what love really means.”

“What about Nick? You must have loved each other.” He had to ask. He hadn't intended to, but the question burst from his lips.

Or why would she have lived with him?

She looked straight ahead, her voice subdued. “I did love him. At least I thought it was love, but it wasn't ever enough. I didn't know what real love was. He made me feel special at first, and I loved that feeling. But he didn't love me. I don't think he knew how. He just wanted to own me, to control me.” She shivered. “He still does.” She scooted away from him and huddled against the wall. “You must wonder why I stayed with him.”

Had she read his mind? Will clamped his mouth shut.

“Nick rescued me after I ran away from the last foster home. He treated me like a princess at first. But it didn't take long for his mean streak to show. And then I had no one, no job, and no hope. He did own me.” The listless timbre of her voice spoke volumes.

Outrage propelled Will to his feet, fists clenched. He wanted to hit something. Or someone. The urge to do battle nearly overwhelmed. He looked down.

Nila shook like a baby bird facing a cat.

His knees gave out, and he sank back onto the step, head in hands. He was no better than Nick if he let his temper control him. That repulsed him. He touched her shoulder, and her flinch felt like another blow to his midsection. “I want to protect, not hurt you.” He cupped her cheek with his hand and turned her face to his. “Nila, you are special, not just to Mom and to Jesus, but to me. I care about you. A lot.”

The despondent look in her eyes faded, replaced by an incandescent glow. The face of a child at Christmas. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

He leaned toward her, and she echoed his movement. He put one finger under her chin and lifted her face. Her eyes widened as he drew her closer. Her unwavering gaze beckoned him, and he touched her lips with his. Gently, like a butterfly kiss.

At least that's what he intended, but the butterfly carried a charge. The electric jolt shocked him, and he pressed his lips against hers. He felt her shiver, and he sat back and closed his eyes with a sigh. Did he blow it again?

When he opened his eyes, Nila was sitting like a statue, her fingers against her lips.

Her silence almost drowned out the thundering beat of his heart. He wondered if she heard it. He glanced at her again.

The lips under her fingers were lifting in a smile. Breathing a huge sigh of relief, Will stood and extended his hand to Nila. “I'd better take you back to Dave and Lydia's.”

Her smile disappeared as she took his hand, and the glow in her eyes dimmed.

Will pulled her close and planted a kiss on the top of her head. “I don't trust myself alone with you right now.”

Her glow returned, and he was tempted to kiss her again, more thoroughly. But he had to control himself. This wasn't the time
.

He wrapped his arm around her waist, and they climbed the steps together.

 

****

 

Nila awoke Monday morning with a song in her head. She struggled to put words to the tune playing in an endless loop as she prepared for her day of work in Will's basement. She was brushing her teeth when it came to her.

Something about dancing together for the rest of her life. She looked in the mirror and wasn't surprised to see rosy pink cheeks. The tune was from Daniel and Melody's first dance, their wedding song. Why…?

Her lips tingled at the memory of Will's kiss, and she pressed her fingers to them, half expecting to feel a shock in her fingertips. He'd said he cared for her, really cared. Even after what she'd told him. Could it be true?

When he'd dropped her off, he'd touched her cheek and promised to behave himself. “I hope we can still work together as friends,” he'd said. “I don't want to lose that.”

Nila stared at her reflection and said aloud, “I don't want to lose our friendship, either.” The woman in the mirror smiled at her. “Friends, and maybe more.”

When Will arrived at the door half an hour later, there were dark circles under his eyes even in the predawn dimness. His smile caressed her, though, and she felt its heat down to her toes.

“Good morning.” She opened the door wide. “I just have to get my thermos, and I'm ready to go.”

Once they were on the road, silence reigned until Nila said, “Are you OK? You look tired.”

Will glanced at her and smiled an apology. “Let's just say I'm glad Mom's house is getting done today. I've gotten spoiled. Sleeping on the couch isn't nearly as restful as it used to be.” He looked as if he was going to say more, but he pressed his lips together and turned his attention back to the road.

Was he regretting yesterday? Or coming to get her today?

“I could have taken the bus this morning. You didn't need to pick me up.” She looked out the side window as they came to a red light.

“Nila,” he said and waited until she looked at him. “I enjoy our travel time. It's not a bother.” The light turned green, and he stepped on the gas. “Does it bother you?”

“Not riding with you. I like that, too.” She sighed. “But I still want to have my own car. I plan to buy one next spring, but that feels so far away. And I'm tired of feeling like I'm a burden.”

Will frowned. “You're not a burden. Please don't think that. But I get your need for independence. You've never had much chance of that, have you?”

Nila shook her head. “No, and when I thought I was managing my life, I messed up. Badly. ” She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “If Jesus hadn't rescued me…” She shuddered.

“I know what you mean,” Will said. “I'm a textbook case for the need for redemption.”

Nila nodded. “Me, too. Redemption and hope. Where would we be without them?”

 

****

 

Will's basement looked like a giant web as Nila drilled holes for wires and he installed electrical boxes. She'd just finished drilling through a stud when he waved at her to catch her attention.

He held up his cellphone.

She shut off the drill.

“No, thanks. I'm not interested.” He sounded frustrated.

Nila raised her eyebrows.

Then he said, “Yes, she's here. We're at work.” He grimaced and mouthed, “Hayley,” as he handed her the phone.

Now what? “How are you, Haley?”

“Hey, Nila. That man of yours isn't as nice as I thought. But I met someone new, and he says he's an old friend of yours. Remember the guy from the pizza place?”

Nila felt the blood drain from her face. “I didn't see him, remember? Who is he?”

“Gerard, and he's pretty awesome. He's got the cutest dimples.” Hayley's voice lowered to a stage whisper. “And lots of tattoos. He's just the kind of guy Daddy can't stand. Like my boyfriend back home.”

“I don't think I know a Gerard.” Something about that name bothered her, but she couldn't pin it down. Nila was still flipping through memory files when Hayley spoke again.

“Well, he says he knows you. Really well. Anyway, since you can't even remember him, you won't mind if I hook up with him, right?”

“Of course I don't mind.” Nila wrinkled her nose and shrugged her shoulders at Will.

“Great. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't stepping on your toes. I'll let you get back to your
work
, then.”

Hayley's emphasis irritated Nila, but she bit back a retort and ended the call. “Good-bye, Hayley.”

“What was that about?” Will asked.

Nila shook her head, frowning. “She met some guy who says he's an old friend of mine, but I can't put a face to the name. She seemed to be taunting me, and I don't know why.”

“Don't let her get to you. She's obviously got some issues.” Will touched her for the first time that day, and his hand on her shoulder sent a jolt zinging down her arm.

They both jerked back.

Will grinned. “Maybe I'd better keep my distance, or we might generate enough electricity to light this place without wires. Anyway, at the rate we're going, we should finish today.”

Nila turned so he couldn't see her worried frown. Yes, they had electricity, but she wasn't really free. Nick had made sure of that. She'd just started the drill again when the clomp of boots on the stairs startled her. She scooted under the stairwell.

“We finished your mom's place, Will,” Guy's deep voice said. “Here's the code for the alarm. Everything's pretty much the same as here, but I can show you if you'd like.”

“That's a relief,” Will said. “Can't thank you enough for doing this so quickly. But I would like to see what you did.” He looked around. “Nila?”

Nila had stepped out of her hiding spot when she recognized Guy's voice. She rubbed her goose-bumped arms. The mere thought of Nick turned her into a scaredy-cat. What kind of faith was that? “Good afternoon, Mr. Renard,” she said and turned to Will. “I've got plenty to keep me busy here.” She paused. “Just lock the door, OK?”

She ignored the sharp glance Guy sent Will and pressed the drill bit against the next two-by-four in the bathroom. As she started the drill, she heard two sets of boots heading up the stairs.

It wasn't cowardly to be cautious, was it? If only Nick would leave her alone, disappear out of her life. A grimace twisted her mouth. That wasn't likely.

But as she prepared board after board, she relaxed and imagined that she was fearless and free to pursue a deeper relationship with the handsome man she worked with. The man who touched off fireworks when his lips met hers.

The drill slipped.

That's what she got for daydreaming. Now she'd have to explain that slanted hole to Will. She blushed at the thought.

Moments later he descended the stairs again.

“I'm back,” he called. “How are you doing? Ready for a break?”

Nila set down the drill. “I'd love a cup of coffee.” She motioned him over. “I have to show you something, though. I messed up here.”

He looked at the downward-slanted hole and then at her. He grinned. “Oh, no! You're not perfect after all.” He barely touched her arm, but she felt the sizzle. “It's not a problem. I can still get the wire through there. You should have seen some of my mistakes when I first started working with Daniel.”

He put his arm around her shoulders, pulled her to him, and planted a kiss on the top of her head. His face was pink when he let go and stepped away from her. “I wasn't going to do that. Let's go get some coffee.”

He walked away, and Nila followed several steps behind, the top of her head still warm from Will's kiss.

 

 

 

 

17

 

The next morning Nila slept in until after eight. When she went upstairs, Lydia was kneading dough on the granite island.

She looked up and smiled. “Good morning, dear. Looks like you needed that sleep.”

Nila yawned and reached for a coffee cup. “I guess I did. It felt good to sleep in. Will doesn't expect the electrical inspector until almost noon, so it will be after lunch by the time he gets here.”

She looked at the soft dough under Lydia's hands. “What are you making?”

“Cinnamon rolls. I got the recipe from Melody, who got it from her friend Bobbie. Best cinnamon rolls ever.” She flipped the dough over and continued kneading. “Do you have plans for this morning?”

Nila leaned against the counter and sipped her coffee before answering. “Not really. I haven't read my Bible for a few days, so I want to do that, but that's all. Do you want some help?”

“I'd
love
to have your help. It's a good thing I woke up early. It's only four more days until the kids arrive, and Daniel and Melody get home the same day. Besides these rolls, I thought I'd made a casserole or two for the newlyweds. I'd hate for them to come home to an empty house.”

Nila looked at the clock on the stove. “I'll go have my devotions and be back in fifteen minutes. OK?”

Lydia's smile warmed her. “No rush, sweetheart.”

Ten minutes later, Nila re-entered the kitchen, open Bible in hand. “May I ask a question?”

“Of course. Just give me one minute.” Lydia patted the dough into a large, greased bowl, covered it, and washed her hands. She refilled her coffee cup and sat at the counter, head tilted. “All right, ask away.”

Nila sat on the other stool and read silently for a moment. “It's this part in Luke chapter twelve where Jesus says we shouldn't be afraid of anyone who can kill us but then can't do anything more.” She looked at Lydia. “That sounds like Nick.”

Lydia nodded. “It does.”

“But then Jesus says we should fear the one who has the power to throw us into hell. That must be God.” Her chest felt heavy, as it did when she first read those words. “Are we really supposed to be afraid of God?”

Lydia laid her hand on Nila's and closed her eyes. When she opened them, they shone.

“Fearing and being afraid are not quite the same thing here. Did you read the next couple verses?” She scooted closer and read aloud, “
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows
.”

Nila tilted her head. “That sounds good, but I'm confused.”

Lydia patted Nila's hand. “Do you fear electricity when you install wiring?”

Nila felt warmth creeping up her neck, and she looked out the window, away from Lydia's perceptive gaze. They weren't talking about Will. She forced herself to concentrate. “Um, I don't feel afraid of it, but I know if I'm careless, it could hurt me.” A smile lifted her lips as she faced her friend. “I think I get it. God is completely powerful. I need to respect his authority, realize he is the King, and trust him to care for me. Like it says there.”