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Authors: Nicholasa Mohr

BOOK: Nilda
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Nilda saw her mother wiping her eyes and shaking her head.

“What color is your car, Jimmy?” Paul asked. “We're gonna go down to look at it.”

“It's a dark green Cadillac convertible. Here's the key. Open the door and sit down inside till we get downstairs.” He flipped the keys over to Paul, adding, “Here's a quarter for you and Nilda. You can mind it and make sure nobody sits on it, okay?”

“Half of that is mine, Paul,” Nilda yelled after him as they both sped downstairs.

Downstairs, they looked around and saw a brand-new green car. “This must be it, Nilda.”

“Let's get in. Hurry up, open it.”

“Just a minute, I gotta get the key in the lock.” Paul put the key in the lock, opened the door and jumped in the driver's seat. Nilda hopped in beside him. They opened the windows.

“Wow! Man, look at all this shiny silver.”

“That's called chrome,” said Paul.

“Well, it's really beautiful. Let's turn on the radio.”

“Okay.” Paul turned a knob and waited. Nothing happened. He then turned a few more buttons and waited. Nothing happened.

“What's the matter, Paul?”

“I don't know. I guess Jimmy knows how to do it a special way.”

“I guess so,” said Nilda. She was excited sitting there in the great big new car. She had been for a car ride twice, but that was
in old cars. She remembered that once Jacinto the grocer had taken some of the neighborhood kids to Coney Island in his old car. Another time a friend of her stepfather had taken her family to a faraway place called Long Island. It was so crowded and hot during the ride that she had been glad to get out.

“I think you have to start the car, maybe,” said Paul, “before you can turn on the radio, and we better not do that.”

“Let's just sit here,” said Nilda. “This is real cool. Boy, I'll bet you Jimmy is rich, huh, Paul? He got all them new clothes all the time and everything. I wonder where he lives.”

“I don't know, but it must be real nice.”

“Hey, man!” A group of kids came over. “What's happening, baby?”

“This is my brother Jimmy's car, man.”

“No shit!” said one of the boys sitting on the fender.

“Hey, man, get off!” said Paul. “Coño, don't sit on the car. Can't you see it's new?”

Another boy said, “You bullshitting us, Paul. This ain't your brother's car.”

“He's not bullshitting. This is our brother Jimmy's car and he's right upstairs in my house. He's coming down any minute. He told us to mind it and gave us a quarter.”

By this time there was a larger group of kids standing around the car looking at the brand-new shiny vehicle.

“Wow, this is a really nice car,” said a young girl Nilda recognized. “Can I sit inside with you?”

“No, I can't do that,” said Nilda emphatically. “Besides, I'm getting paid to mind it.”

“How much?”

“A whole quarter.”

“Nilda, stop telling everybody we got money, stupid,” said Paul, nudging Nilda.

“Let me see it,” said one of the boys.

“I don't have to show it to you, man. I got the money.”

“I don't believe you.”

“Show him, Paul, go on.” Paul gave Nilda a look of exasperation, reached in his pocket and held the shiny coin up. “See!” said Nilda.

“I didn't see,” said a boy in back.

“Don't jive me. I already showed you it and I'm not gonna show it again.”

“Let me in,” they heard a voice say. It was Frankie. Paul opened the back door.

“I want to sit in front, Nilda. Move to the back.”

“I will not, Frankie. I was here first and I'm minding the car for Jimmy.”

“Who said?”

“It's true, Frankie,” said Paul. “Now leave her alone and sit in back.” He looked at Frankie, exercising his authority as the older of the two boys. Frankie slipped in back, leaning against Nilda with his elbow.

“Ouch!” she said. “Don't give him one penny of our quarter, Paul.”

“What quarter?” asked Frankie.

Oh boy, thought Nilda, I can't do anything right sometimes.

“Paul, what quarter?”

“Jimmy gave Nilda and me a quarter to mind the car for him.”

“You gonna split it with me, too!”

“Jimmy didn't say nothing about that.”

“Aw, man, come on,” Frankie went on arguing.

Nilda looked up and saw her mother, Victor and Jimmy all coming toward the car. Jimmy had on brand-new clothes. Like he's going to a party, thought Nilda. Victor was wearing his same old suit and Mamá had on her good dress and shoes.

Jimmy came over, leading the way. “Okay, come on out now; we have to go. Paul, give me the key.” The group of children surrounding
the car backed away as the adults approached them. Nilda opened the door and jumped out. Frankie and Paul followed.

“Can I come along, Mamá?”

“No, you stay, Nilda. We'll be back soon.”

“Hey, Jimmy, can I have some of that quarter that you gave Paul and Nilda?”

“Sure, Frankie,” said Jimmy, turning on the motor.

“He didn't even mind the car. It's not fair,” Nilda protested. The three adults were seated in the car, talking to one another and no one answered her.

“So long. See you kids later,” said Jimmy as the car pulled out and disappeared.

Paul turned to go to the candy store. He said, “Now I'm gonna get change. Nilda, you get five cents and Frankie, you get five cents.”

“Hey, that means you get fifteen cents!” cried Nilda.

Paul said, “That's right, Nilda. You were gonna get twelve cents and me thirteen cents, but your big mouth just cost you a whole seven cents.”

Nilda looked at him angrily, but said nothing because she knew Paul was right.

October 1941

N
ilda followed along as Leo and her mother walked on ahead. They had gone early in the evening to see a man who knew something about her brother Jimmy. It had been weeks now since her mother had heard from him. No one knew where Jimmy was or what he was doing. Recently they had heard that he was wanted by the police.

Leo had accompanied her mother because her stepfather was still in the hospital. Her mother, Leo and the man had spent a long time talking, mostly in whispers. Nilda had overheard phrases like “he's hooked on drugs mainlining … could be a seller and a user … tecatos the police are after the gang.…” and other confused talk. She knew it had to do with Jimmy and the police, but exactly what she could not completely understand. Several times, Nilda had been sent down for treats to the corner candy store. That was the best part, she thought.

The man lived on East 126th Street and Nilda began to get tired as she thought of the long walk home. It was a warm night and Nilda began to play her sidewalk game. She loved to play that game, especially on different streets where the sidewalks were new to her. It was a game of discovery in which she uncovered many worlds of wonder. The diagonal, horizontal and vertical cracks in the sidewalks became dividing regions, stimulating her imagination. The different shapes of the worn-out surfaces of concrete and asphalt developed before her eyes into dragons, animals, oceans and planets of the universe. She continued looking for new and wonderful worlds that lay hidden underneath the concrete.

Nilda was completely absorbed when she saw tiny red dots all about the size of a dime. She bent down to examine the shiny surface and as she touched the dot with her shoe, it spread. It's liquid, like paint or something, she thought. As she walked on, the sidewalk was covered with these dots of shiny liquid leading somewhere. Intrigued, she traced the dots as she would a number picture puzzle, trying to connect them so that she could solve this new mystery. The red dots led Nilda to a doorway and beyond, into a pool of glistening red liquid inside the hallway of a building. “Ay, ayyyy,” someone moaned. Nilda heard heavy breathing. She went in farther and heard the moan again above her. Looking up and into a corner, she saw a man clutching his stomach. His light blue shirt was streaked with crimson and his hands were drenched in blood. His face twisted in pain, he looked at Nilda, his dark eyes pleading for help. Whimpering, he rocked his head, and his black hair, wet with sweat, fell down over his forehead.

Nilda felt her own stomach turn cold as ice. Running out of the building to find her mother and Leo, she saw them coming toward her. “Mamá, there's a man. He's all full of blood, in that building in there.” Her voice was shaking. Swiftly they went past her into the hallway.

“Oh my God, Virgen María Madre de Dios, he's been stabbed.”

Nilda could hear her mother screaming. Leo was out in a second.

“Police! Police! Help! ¡Ayuda! Somebody's been hurt,” Leo was shouting. He ran into a bar next door. People began to open windows and gather about.

“He's been hurt, poor man, we need help, ¡bendito! ¡Se muere! He's bleeding very badly,” her mother went on, pleading for help.

The superintendent of the building came out, and by this time many people were shouting and asking questions.

Nilda waited outside in front of the building. Two small boys came by. They looked at her. “Hey, what happened, man?” they asked.

“Somebody got stabbed, I think in the stomach, and he's bleeding all over.” She pointed to the blood on the sidewalk. People had stepped in it, leaving red shoe-prints.

“Does he live here?” asked one of the boys.

“I don't know. I don't live here myself. I was just walking by and I saw—”

“Hey, maybe I know him,” interrupted the other boy. “Let me see.”

They tried to get in the hallway but the entrance was crowded with people. Nilda watched them disappear into the crowd of adults as she waited nervously for the sight of her mother or Leo who were inside the building. She heard the siren sound and a patrol car pulled up, followed by a white ambulance.

“Okay, break it up. Come on now, step aside, break it up. Stretcher coming through.”

After a few minutes, Nilda heaved a sigh of relief as she saw her mother first, and then Leo, step out into the street. The wounded man was carried out on the stretcher and taken away in the ambulance. Slowly people began to disappear and the street got quiet again. Her mother and Leo exchanged good-byes with some of the people who lived in the building. “Muchas gracias por todo.”

“De nada.”

“Adiós.”

“Hasta luego.”

Nilda walked alongside her mother and looked back at the sidewalk which was still streaked and blotted with blood. The red was beginning to bury itself in the concrete. The rain will wash it away, she thought.

They decided to turn into one of the streets leading to the Madison Avenue bus. “After that we better ride back,” said Leo. The street they came to was noisy and crowded with people. Most of the shops and bars on the street were open and brightly lit, busy with activity. Nilda saw groups of women, some standing against the tenements and in front of the shops, others sitting on the stoops of the buildings. As they walked past the women, Nilda saw that some were very young, with cheeks painted bright red, crimson lips and false flowers pinned in their hair.

“Hey, good looking! Want a good time?” said a young girl who had come forward, almost blocking the way.

Some others followed saying, “Daddy, leave Mamá and relax with me.”

Nilda looked at them and realized they were talking to Leo. Calling out to him, yelling endearments.

“You're a sweet Papá and it don't cost much. Vámonos adentro, come inside for a minute, lemme talk to you.” They were beckoning him to come with them. Some had sweet voices, others almost commanding.

“Come on now! Papi dulce, right in here in this building you'll have the best time of your life!”

Nilda stared in amazement at the very young ones who seemed about the same age as the older girls on her block.

“Ten dollars the whole night and a good bed.”

“Bueno. Five for me and everything nice and clean.”

Some of the women outstretched their arms with sweeping gestures, as if to gather Leo and take him away. Calling out different prices and conditions to him, they completely ignored Nilda and her mother. The same sense of urgency in the voices somehow reminded Nilda of the Marketa on Park Avenue. The sounds were familiar, like the sounds of the vendors calling out, promising to give the people the cheapest but best product, outbidding each other for a sale. Both Leo and her mother had
remained completely silent during the entire promenade. Once out of the block, her mother said, “What a shame and a pity, they are so young, bendito.”

“I thought one could be no more than fourteen,” said Leo.

“What are those women doing?” Nilda waited for an answer. “Leo, what did they want?”

After a pause her mother said, “They are salesladies, that's all. They wanted us to come in and buy some of the products.”

“What kind of products? I didn't hear them mention no products. Weren't they talking to Leo?” She saw Leo and her mother exchange glances. “Are they bad, Mamá?”

“No, they're not bad, Nilda, las pobrecitas, just unfortunate.”

“What do you mean unfortunate? What is that?”

“Some of them don't have parents or a family to care for them and so they have to do certain things in order to live and eat, that's all.”

“What things?”

“¡Ay, Nilda! Things! That's all.”

“Tell me what things?”

“Ya basta, Nilda. Now I told you and that's all!”

Nilda looked sulkily at them. Why doesn't she tell me? I know what things. She always does that, like I'm a baby or something. Boy! she said to herself. She knew better than to pursue it any further or to try to ask Leo.

The three of them walked quickly down the street and onto the avenue. The Madison Avenue bus was speeding toward them. They got to the bus stop in time and got inside. It was quite late by now and Nilda was very sleepy. As the bus began to move on downtown, her eyelids grew heavy. She looked around her at the people on the bus. They were all mostly dark, Puerto Rican and black people. Pressing her head against Leo's arm and closing her eyes, she thought, Before the white people start getting on, we'll be long gone off the bus.

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