Nine Steps to Sara (24 page)

* * *

The rest of the evening was spent having a great time, getting to know their new neighbors and enjoying the fair.  Sara was pleased to note the occurrence of “my Lady”’s dropped significantly by the time the moon ro
s
e high into the night sky and she felt like a the night was a huge success.  Completely worn out, Ja
ck
lay curled up in a corner of the booth at the
Bell
and Cross not long after they slipped inside for a mug of something warm.  The fair games had long since closed as people migrated to the inn and pub for a bit of something to take away the chill, but folks were reluctant to return to their homes just yet. 

When Sara started to yawn herself, Will picked the boy up and carried him to the car, his hand in hers, and Sara couldn’t help but feel nostalgic for the days when Jack had been two or three and she’d done the same things with Peter.  Back then they’d gone to the state fair, the beach, camping… plenty of outings as a family.  It was hard to pinpoint when things had gone wrong exactly, and that’s what scared her the most.  How could things go from something so good to something so wrong without a major catalyst?

It was early to think of what the future might hold for her and Will, but as she watched him gently lay Jack in the backseat of the car, puzzling through how best to strap him in, she couldn’t help but wonder; was their relationship doomed to failure as well?  It was thoughts like those that kept her from chattering much on the drive home, content to ride beside Will, his hand warm over hers. 

“You’re awfully quiet tonight,” he commented as the car came to a stop before the big, old house.  The front light burned through the fog, but the rest of the windows were dark
.
 

“Sorry, I guess I’m a little worn out.  I had a great time though, thanks for keeping me company.” 

“No need to thank me for that, Sara.  If I had my druthers, I’d be keeping your company for a good long while yet,” he smiled, giving her hand a squeeze. 

That was plenty fine
in her books; she might be a little sleepy, but that didn’t mean she was ready for the night to be over yet.  “Do you want to, um… have a drink inside with me?”  Out of practice, the invitation came out sounding a little stilted to her ears, but Will gave no sign that he noticed. 

“I’d love to, but I’ll have to cry off for tonight I’m afraid.  I have some things to attend to back in the village.  But I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” he leaned in for a quick peck on the cheek.  Doing her best to mask her disappointment, Sara nodded brightly. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.  Goodnight then.”  Letting out a long breath once she got out of the seat, she opened the back door to pick up Jack and carry him inside, but Will jogged around the car and pulled her away from the open door.

“Hey now, you didn’t think I would let you go without a proper kiss goodnight, did you?” the pad of his thumb brushed across her cheek as he tipped her face up to his.  “Aw, you did…” his face clouded when he read that was exactly what she’d expected on her face. 

“It’s fine, if you have other plans…”

“Sorry about that, love.  Believe me; no matter what other mistress I may dance to tonight, you’ll still come first where it counts.”  Will leaned in to capture her mouth with his, and Sara forgot any momentary hurt when he kissed her like that.  It was hard not to chase after his lips when he pulled away, her heart still pounding madly
,
and she would have lost her balance if he hadn’t been holding fast to her.

“What was that about a mistress?” she breathed, lips still tingling.

“Ah
,
Sara,” he chuckled softly.  “There’s no danger of anyone stealing my heart, you’ve the only key.  Now give us another kiss, and let’s get the boy inside before you catch your death out here in the cold.”  His kiss was softer, but no less affectionate and when they parted, Sara couldn’t keep the smile from her lips. 

Still smiling after getting Jack settled into his room for the night and another shared kiss in the darkened hallway, Sarah slipped into her room, getting ready for bed with slow, unhurried movements.  She had the key to Will’s heart?  “I sure hope it fits,” she sighed, sliding under the covers with a happy sigh. 

*
*
*

“It’s time now, my Lady.”

“Are you sure about this, Brisbin?” Sara held the infant’s soft cheek to hers, reluctant to let him go, even into the capable hands of her lady’s maid.  The shabby room she’d rented held little more than a bed and a washstand, but it suited her
purpose
, having left her finery behind. 

“It’s now or never, unless you’ve given up this plan,” the maid replied, buttoning  her coat to the top and reaching for the plain woven basket, so different from the lacy bassinet they’d left behind. 

Was she doing the right thing?  If only she could be certain…  “No, I’ve no choice, Edward has seen to that.”  She looked down at the little face, oblivious to the life changing events at hand.  “I’ll save you, my darling, the only way I know how.”  Laying a kiss to the top of his head, her tears slipped out to splash on the baby’s cheek, startling him awake.  Instead of crying, he looked up at her with wise, gray eyes, almost as if he knew…  “Goodbye, my sweet Matthew.  Brisbin will look after you until I can come for
you myself,” she brushed the tears from his cheek.  “But know that I love you more than all the world.  You’ll tell him every night, won’t you?” she looked up at the maid, desperate for the nod of compliance. 

“Aye, my Lady, I will.  But we must be off now, or have to wait another week for the next ship bound for
America
.”

“I know,” she laid the baby down in the basket, taking great care to swaddle him in protective blankets.  “I’ll write to you as soon as I can
.  Y
ou have the money?”

“Close to my heart,” Brisbin patted her chest.  “I’ll care for him as if he was my own,” she promised gravely, as if she were off to march into battle instead of taking an
innocent child on a long journey.  “Are you sure you won’t come with us, my Lady?”

Longing mixed with dread as she looked down at her son’s sweet face.  “I can’t, you know I can’t.  He’ll never let me go.  Maybe some day when he’s gone I can…” her eyes clouded with tears again and she shook her head.  “You’d best go before it’s too late.”

“As you wish,” Brisbin bobbed.  “Goodbye, my Lady.  May the Lord keep you safe.”

“No, Brisbin,” she smiled sadly, “the child is all that matters.  I pray that He keeps you out of harm’s way on your journey.”  Watching the window until she could no longer see the maid with her precious cargo, her shoulders slumped as they disappeared from view.  Dipping her hands into the basin of cold water on the stand, Sara looked up,
expecting to see her own blue eyes, but it was Gemma staring back at her
in the reflexion
, eyes red rimmed and puffy from crying.  “I sacrificed all for my child.  Can you do the same?”

Sara startled awake, surprised to find herself snuggled up in bed instead of the rundown room.  “God, what a weird dream,” she breathed, head falling back against the downy comfort.  She didn’t usually dream she was someone else, but something about the dream had felt so real…  She’d felt the woman’s anguish over giving up the baby, her son.  And the fear… the all consuming fear that drove her to send away her own child to keep him safe.  Safe from her husband, Edward.  Edward Darling. 

“What did he do to you?” Sara whispered in the darkness, wondering if Gemma had been the one to send her the dream, or if there was an overactive imagination to blame.  Utter stillness met her question, but the hairs on her arms stood on end as her skin erupted into goosebumps, the air feeling charged somehow.  “Hello?” she tried again.  “Gemma is that you?”

A soft footfall sounded from somewhere in the room and Sara froze, hardly daring to breathe.  With the curtains mostly drawn, only a sliver of light pierced the darkness, shrouding the majority of the room in shadow.  There could have been an entire army of ghosts in the room and she wouldn’t know it until they reached their pale, shriveled hands for her…  Sara swallowed back the wave of fear that train of thought brought, forcing herself to keep it together. 

It was obvious she wanted to communicate, and Sara couldn’t understand why she didn’t come right out and do it.  If she could talk to Jack, why not to her?  “Please, I just want to talk to you.  Can’t you tell me what you want?” 

The silence seemed to swell, a high pitched whine filling Sara’s ears, and she couldn’t be sure if she heard a breathy word or if it was just her imagination.  But it sounded like the word
safe
. 

“Keep my son safe?  Like you did?” she sat a little higher in the bed, heart pounding at the thrill of making contact.  “That’s all I want too, but I don’t get what you’re going for.  What kind of danger is he in?”

Sara strained her ears, but that time there was no response.  The silence stretched on and seconds turned into minutes, her disappointment growing when the spirit didn’t acknowledge her.  “I won’t just leave, you know.  You can’t scare me away,” she challenged.  “So if Jack’s really in danger, you’re going to have to find a way to tell me how or this whole haunting thing is a huge waste of time.” 

The lights in the chandelier near the fire suddenly flared bright, exploding in a shower of sparks and broken glass that made Sara squeal into her blankets.  Reaching for the bedside light in the eerie darkness, the swell of relief at finding the little knob quickly deflated when nothing happened as she turned it again and again.  “Awesome…” she murmured, frozen in place.  Without the light, it wasn’t safe to leave the bed with the broken glass, and without the light, she didn’t think she’d be getting much sleep for the rest of the night.  Had she said the ghost couldn’t scare her away?  Huddled with the blankets pulled up to her nose, Sara started to seriously rethink that position.     

*
*
*

It was early when Sara woke; neck stiff from sleeping in a half-sitting position, wedged up against the head board all night long.  At least she’d been able to fall asleep, though she didn’t feel particularly well rested.  In the calm light of day, it was easy to believe she’d dreamed up the ghostly encounter from the night before.  The bedside lamp turned on easily when she tried it, and closer inspection of the sitting area in front of the fireplace showed no sign of any broken glass.  Balancing precariously on the arms of the closest chair, Sara peered into the chandelier carefully, finding each of the tiny bulbs perfectly intact.  Had
she dreamed it all
up? 

Shuffling into the bathroom to brush her teeth, Sara mulled over the dream and the events that followed, trying to spot anything that might lead her to believe it was all in her head.  There wasn’t any proof either way, but she couldn’t shake the idea that Gemma really ha
d tried to communicate with her
.  There had to be a way to find out more about the woman. 

Lost in thought, it didn’t occur to her to check and see if the connecting door was locked or not until Will stepped through wearing a pair of loose sleep pants and a wife beater, a little bleary-eyed with hair sticking up at all angles.  “Oh God, I forgot,” she spat out the last of the toothpaste, rinsing her mouth quickly.  “Avert your eyes for a sec, okay?  I look terrible,” she groaned, searching for wherever Katie had stuck her hair brush. 

“You look beautiful,” Will approached, wrapping his arms around her from behind to meet her gaze in the mirror.  “All mussed and glorious like you’ve just woken from a good night’s sleep.  The only way you could possibly look better is if you were waking up beside me.”  He pressed a kiss to the side of her head and she smiled back at him in the mirror.

“You… obviously haven’t woken up completely yet, but I appreciate the sentiment,” she laughed.  “I forgot about the whole sharing the bathroom thing.  Do you want the first shower?”