Nine Steps to Sara (44 page)

It took a little longer to find slippers to fit over the bandages on her feet, and in the end Sara gave up, slipping on a pair of thick, woolen socks.  About to slip out to check on Jack and see what was left of the house, she was surprised to see Will step out of the connecting bathroom.    

“I heard what you told the police about me,” a hopeful smile touched his lips.  “Does that mean you’ve forgiven me?”

Did it?
  “Will, I’m grateful for you helping us, and I meant it when I said I don’t know what we would have done without you,” she began, holding up her hands to hold him off when he moved to hug her.  “No,” she took a step backwards.  “I can’t…” she looked up at him helplessly, unable to get past the betrayal. 

“Sara, please…”

“I can’t,” she swallowed, closing the door between them.  He wasn’t gone… she could feel him on the other side of the door and part of her wanted in the worst way to reach out to him; call him back and let him make it up to her.  But at the end of the day she didn’t know if she could trust him ever again.  “I can’t,” she repeated, barely above a whisper, swiping at her eyes and nose before she went to go check on Jack.

The seven remaining members of the Nine were held without bail, charged with the murder of Mr. Cole the developer and conspiracy to commit murder and attempted murder for Jack as well as a laundry list of other minor charges from unlawful imprisonment to assault.  In addition, Mrs. Poole was charged for conspiracy as was Mrs. Saunders the cook who according to Pottinger w
as
in on it.  In the space of a week, the inquiry was over, and Sara could focus on her own life again.  The trouble was, she wasn’t convinced that was such a good thing. 

Jack rebound from the entire incident with surprising resilience, though she suspected that had a lot to do with the fact that he remembered almost nothing about it.  For her part, Sara wasn’t sure if she wanted to remember more or less about the whole thing.  She had just enough knowledge to make her paranoid and less inclined to dismiss the nightmares that plagued
her since that terrible night.

Sara hadn’t even begun to think about whether they would stay or leave town.  Her new solicitor had assured her that there was no legal reason why she had to make
Darling
Park
her home, and she could leave at any time.  There was enough damage to the east wing that it had to be completely closed up and she hadn’t worked up the energy to start on getting a clean up crew to come in and assess the extent of the damage.  She hadn’t worked any more on her parlor project; she hadn’t done much of anything but mope around the house like a ghost.  Speaking of which, Gemma hadn’t put in an appearance since the night of the storm either. 

“Hey,” a familiar voice called from the doorway.  “You should think about getting yourself a butler, any old person off the street could walk in.”

“Joanie?” Sara looked up in shock to see her friend standing
in
the study doorway
. “W
hat are you doing here?”

“I heard you had a little bit of trouble down here, I came to see if you were alright.”

“Me?  I’m fine, what about you, how is your arm?”

Joanie had a cast on one arm, but otherwise looked to be in good shape, her coppery hair less elegantly styled, but more natural in its beauty.  “This thing?  It’s fine, doesn’t hurt, and it’s actually an interesting conversation piece.  I’ve got at least three numbers from bona fide hotties on here,” she grinned.  “I missed you, Sara.”

“Aw, I missed you too, Joanie,” Sara hugged her carefully, getting a little misty at the unusually sentimental admission from her oldest friend. 

“You did?” Joanie sniffed, swiping at her eyes.  “Actually, I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me again after the way I left, but Will called and asked me to come.”

“He did?” Sara blinked in surprise
.

“Yeah, he said he didn’t want you to be alone right now.  What happened between you two?  The last time I saw you, it looked like you were two peas in a pod, but he talked like it was all over between you.”

“Oh Joanie…”  Sara gave her friend a tearful rundown of everything that had happened since she left, including what she knew about Will’s betrayal.

“Damn, he definitely did a number on you.  How is he not roasting in jail with the other guys?”

“Jail?” Sara was taken aback by the suggestion.  “He didn’t hurt us, in fact, he helped us escape.  Jack might be dead right now if he hadn’t intervened.”

“Or, he could have told you about it in time for you to leave before it all went down.”

“He didn’t know the particulars then.  He did try to get me to leave actually.  He wanted me to run away with him,” Sara recalled suddenly.

“After the police came?”

“No, after the ridiculous marriage proposal.  Come to think of it, he wanted me to chuck it all and come with him, Jack too.” 

“Huh, how come you didn’t?”

“Why would I leave?  He was acting so weird and there didn’t seem to be a reason to rush into anything at the time.”

“And now?”

“What do you mean, and now?”

“Now that it’s all over, are you tempted to run away with him?  Go buy a private island somewhere and forget it all happened?”

“How could I do that?  I can never trust him again,” Sara answered quickly and Joanie nodded sagely.

“Right, because he’s an asshole.”

“Well…
I guess…”

“A lying, cheating asshole.”

“No, he never cheated…”

“But an asshole all the same who used you, made you fall in love with him.”

“I don’t think I was in love with him exactly… more carried away I guess.” 
Liar, liar, pants on fire
, the little voice in Sara’s head taunted. 

“Well, you’re better off without him now.  Thank God you didn’t marry the guy, or you would have spent the next ten years trying to scrape him off your inheritance,” Joanie snorted.

“I don’t think he would do something like
that.
”

“Oh no…” Joanie closed her eyes.

“What?”

“You’re still in love with him!” she opened them with an accusatory stare and Sara blanched.

“What?  No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are, I totally recognize the look.  You are definitely giving me the look.”

“What look?”

“The head over heels, scared bunny look.”

“Scared bunny… what are you talking about?”

“Look in the mirror,” she dug for a compact mirror and held it up for Sara to see.  “Do you see that look in your eyes?  That says you’re totally not over him and you’re scared to death to let him hurt you again.”

“You’re half right at least.  I am scared of being hurt again.” 
First Peter and then Will…

“Honey, love is all about risk.  You never bet big, you never win big, take it from me.” 

“So, you’re saying I should give Will another shot?”

“Hell no, I think you should r
oast his balls and have them hors d'oeuvres. 
Speaking of which, I’m starving.  Did I miss lunch?”

Sara blinked at the subject change.  “Ah, no, we haven’t eaten yet, but I let all the servants go except for Katie so if you’re looking for something elaborate, you’ve come to the wrong place.”  Letting out a long breath, Sara looked at the clock.  “I should get started on it though.  How does hot ham and cheese sandwiches sound to you?”

Joanie didn’t bat an eye.  “Actually, how about I take care of you for a change?  I’ll go round up the brat and we’ll put on a spread, sound good?”

“You don’t have to do that, your arm…”

“It’s fine, I’ve been managing well enough and Jack’s a great helper.  You look a little tired.  Why don’t you take a load off and we’ll call you when lunch is ready?”

“
Alright
, if you don’t mind, that sounds good; I’m sure Jack will be glad you’re back.  I last saw him in the library.”

“Where else?” Joanie snorted, taking off in search of him. 

Sara heard the muffled sounds of the reunion and Jack’s excited chatter as they headed for the kitchen.  With Joanie back, the prospect of staying didn’t seem quite so daunting.  Then again, she was also the perfect traveling partner if she decided to buy a yacht and sail around the world instead.  If only s
he knew which direction to turn…

“Gemma?” she called out softly in the stillness.  She hadn’t tried talking to her since that night; wasn’t even sure how much of her intervention was real and how much was the product of her drug soaked memory.  “Gemma, are you there?  How about a little advice?  Jack’s safe now, and there’s nothing tying us here if we don’t want to stick around.  Should I stay, or should I go?”

Nothing but the tick of the clock on the mantle greeted her as the silence stretched and Sara let out a pent up breath.  “I am nutso, sitting here waiting for a sign from a ghost that’s probably already moved on,” she laughed into the empty room. 

The French doors blew open in a sudden gust of wind, and Sara rushed to them, eyes narrowing as she looked out at the peaceful, sunny weather.  A flicker of movement caught her eye and she saw Will bending by the front
entrance
, laying something against the
door
. 

Her feet started moving before her brain caught up to the idea, and Sara found herself jogging to make sure he didn’t get away before she got there.  “Hey,” she called out.  “What are you doing?”

“Sara,” Will turned in surprise.  “I’m
sorry;
I didn’t want to disturb you.  I only thought to leave something for you.”  His eyes flicked to the envelope propped against the door.

“What is it?”

“I wanted to let you know that I’m leaving and my Da will see to finding you a new foreman for the job, that is, if you’ll be continuing with the restoration?”

“Yes, of course I am,” Sara responded automatically, a little surprised to hear herself say it with such conviction. 

“Good, good,” he nodded, pushing at the gravel with his shoe.  “Of course, if you’d rather my father not continue with the project…”

“No of course not, I mean I’m not replacing him,” Sara interjected quickly.  She couldn’t keep blaming everyone in the village for the acts of a few, it would just take a while to sort out who she did and didn’t trust.  In her heart, she couldn’t believe that Bernard knew anything about the plot, and there hadn’t been a mention of him in the inquiry. 

“Fine,” Will nodded again, awkwardly.  “Well then, I should be on my way,” he turned to leave.

“Where are you going
,
back to
London
?”

“I… haven’t a clue actually, but don’t fret, I’ll land on my feet,” he gave her a tight smile.  “You look… recovered.”

“I’m good,” she nodded, not quite sure what else to say. 

“Yes, well… I’ll bid you good afternoon, my Lady.  It was a pure spot of pleasure to see you again,” he added with a ghost of the old smile she loved so much.  “I wish you every happiness.”

“Will?” she called him back when he turned to leave again.

“Yes, my Lady?”

“It’s Sara, remember?”

“I do,” his intimate tone showed he remembered so much more.  “I wasn’t sure how much you recalled though.”

“I wasn’t sure either,” she admitted, taking a slow breath.  “But I think I remember enough to ask you something.”

“Anything, Sara,” he replied, his heart in his eyes.