No Choice but Seduction (43 page)

“No, it was nothing like that. Her family didn’t like me. I’m not even sure why. I wasn’t quite the rakehell yet that I became in later years. But Adeline didn’t share their feelings. I was quite sure she felt the same as I. My mistake was in not letting her know sooner that I wanted her for my wife. I erroneously
assumed
she took it for granted, that we were of a like mind and would be married. And then she was gone. Overnight. I can’t tell you what a shock that was, to ride over to take her on a picnic to our favorite spot and be told she’d left England. They gave me some tripe about a grand tour that had been planned that
she
had never mentioned to me, and that she’d be back in a year or so.”

“So you didn’t resume your courtship when she returned to England?”

“She never returned, Katey.”

She was frowning now with extreme confusion. “But she eloped with my father, so…you’re saying she knew and fell in love with him prior to your courting her? That he suddenly showed up again and she ran off with him without even an explanation for you?”

“No, my guess would be she didn’t meet him until after she left England, perhaps on the ship to America, or soon after she landed.”

Katey realized that was the opinion of a man who had come in second place in the running for a woman’s affections. She couldn’t blame him for wanting to think it. She still found it amazing herself, that her mother hadn’t picked Anthony over her father.

She said gently, “I’m sorry to say you’re wrong. She told me—”

“Katey, some parents will make up a good lie to hide a sad truth. For whatever reason, she didn’t want you to know the real reason she left England. I had no idea myself. She could have told me, but she didn’t. All these years, I didn’t know she ran off carrying my child. I still wouldn’t have known if your aunt Letitia hadn’t sent me a nasty note about it after you sailed on
The Oceanus
.”

Katey’s eyes widened. She put her hand to her mouth, but it was to stifle a surprised laugh. If she laughed when he seemed so sincere, she’d never forgive herself. But at least the fallacy wasn’t his, but instigated by that harsh relative of hers.

“I met Letitia,” she said quickly. “Frankly, I wouldn’t believe a single word she told me. Why, she even called me a…”

The color drained from Katey’s cheeks as she slowly stood up. Her eyes were riveted to Anthony’s face, and she was seeing so much more in his expression now, dread, sympathy, understanding—and caring.

And even though she didn’t need to hear it now, he said, “You’re correct. I didn’t believe her. I went to hear it from your grandmother. She wasn’t well, so I didn’t overtax her to hear more details, but she confirmed it, Katey. You’re my daughter.”

The only sound that would come out of her mouth was a small, painful sound, a mewling. And before she made a fool of herself, she raced out of the cabin.

“Bloody hell,” Anthony groaned.

“Did you expect squeals of delight and an exuberant father-daughter hug?” James asked drily as he moved to close the door Katey had left open in her escape.

“This isn’t a good time for your pearls of wisdom, James.”

“Perhaps not, but much can be said for bluntness. You should have just spit it out and saved yourself all that agonizing beating about the bush.”

“I was trying to break it to her gently.”

“Oh, you did, dear boy,” James said. “With the finesse of a sledgehammer.”

Chapter Forty-Seven

T
O HAVE EVERYTHING
that she knew about herself and her life crack like a nutshell in her hand, the shards too small to piece back together, the only option to discard it, wasn’t just a little traumatic for Katey. She was devastated. It wasn’t that she was a Malory. Having one for a parent didn’t automatically make her one of them, at least in her mind. She had no more history with that family than she did with the Millards. But at least she had
known
about the Millards.

And therein was the source of the trauma she couldn’t shake. It was the lie, her mother’s lie, her mother’s deceit, that she’d kept the truth from Katey her whole life. Maybe Adeline had intended to tell her someday who her real father was, perhaps after she was married and starting her own family. Adeline wouldn’t really have denied her grandchildren knowing where they came from, would she? She hadn’t meant to die before she could make that confession. Life wasn’t that predictable. Stupid piece of ice…

Katey cried her heart out for what Adeline had given up with one single life-altering decision. Why did she do it? Katey cried her heart out for what her mother had missed, and subsequently, what Katey had missed as well, life with the Malorys.
Why
?

Katey had put so much hope into the Millards, but now she was glad she hadn’t grown up anywhere near them. She couldn’t imagine what it would have been like, having someone like Letitia always around. Would she have grown up to be like her? The thought horrified her. But to have grown up in the midst of the Malorys, she realized, that would have been wonderful.

I can’t imagine what it must have been like, not having something exciting going on all the time
, Judith had told her that day in the coach.
With my family, there is always something interesting happening
.

When it hit her, it was like a ton of bricks. Judith Malory was her sister. My God, she had a sister! No, she had two of them! Some of her tears were happy ones.

Anthony came to her door numerous times the next day to make sure she was all right. She wouldn’t open it, but from the other side she assured him, “I’m fine, I just need some time to myself to digest it all.”

And put the shattered pieces of her life back together—if she could.

But even James had come by toward evening with some heavy pounding on the door and the gruff warning, “This ain’t healthy, puss. Present yourself for dinner tonight or I break this door down.”

She stayed locked in her cabin, ignoring that order. But she was still too immersed in her thoughts to really notice that he didn’t come back to break the door. And the only time she opened that door at all was for Grace, briefly, and not to let her in.

She didn’t want her maid to worry so she told her bluntly, “Anthony Malory claims to be my real father.” To which she abruptly added, “I don’t want to talk about it yet.”

Wide-eyed, Grace started to reply, but Katey put a finger to her lips. “Not yet. It’s a shock, yes, but please, Grace, I need a few days of solitude to—adjust.”

Stubborn as usual, Grace at least pointed out, “You have to eat.”

“No, I don’t. I’m so upset, I’d just spit it back up.”

“You
have
to eat. Do you want me to perish from worrying about you?”

“If I don’t come out in a week,
then
you can worry.” Katey had tried to sound teasing, knew she’d failed, and closed the door on any more arguing.

Grace set trays of food outside her door anyway. Katey left them there. She hadn’t been exaggerating. The turmoil she was going through was physical, enough that she had no doubt her stomach wouldn’t tolerate something as ordinary as nourishment. But she wasn’t hungry. If she was, she was too upset to feel it.

She didn’t stay barricaded more than the one day. After the second night’s sleep that didn’t include restless tossing, she woke with some peace of mind, and the gut-wrenching emotion inside her had gone away for the moment. She didn’t know if she would ever forgive her mother for the lie, but this new family that she’d pretty much inherited overnight could fulfill the hopes that the Millards had failed to fill. If she hadn’t just been told about her relationship with the Malorys for the sake of being told.
If
they actually wanted her to be a part of their family.

She joined her new relatives for luncheon that day. Both men rose abruptly as she entered the cabin. Both looked extremely anxious, still worried about how she’d received the news.

She smiled slightly as she took a seat at the table across from Anthony. “Be at ease, please. It was just a shock. I’m sure it was for you, as well.”

“Indeed, though I must admit it didn’t take me long to be delighted.”

“Me either,” she replied bashfully. “Though I don’t even know if your family is going to accept me, or if you’d prefer to keep this between ourselves.”

“Good God, is that what you thought?”

“Dropped the hammer, but forgot the nails, eh, old chap?” James drolly put in.

Anthony ignored his brother to tell her, “You’re going to be welcomed with open arms, never doubt it, Katey. Why, Judith is going to go through the roof with excitement when she hears. She took to you exceptionally well, you know.”

Katey grinned, not just from the remark, but from relief. They did want her!

“The feeling was quite mutual,” she said. “And I think being part of your family is going to be a wonderful experience. You could have kept the knowledge of being my father to yourself, without ever telling me. I’m glad you didn’t. Thank you for that. But—”

“No buts allowed, puss,” James interrupted.

That was the third time he’d given her an order since she’d come aboard
The Maiden George
. Having just begun to recover from a major emotional shock, Katey took offense this time. It was going to be a bit more difficult accepting that
he
was a relative.

“Don’t be telling me what I can and can’t do,
Uncle
James. I’m too new to your family for you to take that liberty yet. I’ll let you know when you can.”

Since she had just rendered the big man momentarily speechless, Anthony burst out laughing. “Bravo, m’dear. Spoken like a true Malory.”

She blushed furiously. “I’m sorry.” The apology was for James. “It’s just going to take a little time for me to get used to it all.”

“Don’t apologize for speaking your mind,” James replied. “And I won’t apologize for trying to protect my brother—in my fashion. He’s been on tenterhooks since he learned about this, afraid that it was too late to bring you into the fold, that you’d reject us out of hand.”

Her eyes flared. “Are you joking? I know I didn’t answer this question the other night, but I
have
always wanted to be part of a larger family. I had so been looking forward to meeting my mother’s family and hoped I would be welcomed by them, but my aunt Letitia pretty much closed the door on that notion for me.”

“Nasty old wench,” Anthony said with disgust. “I’d say that’s her forte, slamming doors in people’s faces.”

“Or trying to,” James added a bit smugly.

Katey continued, “But even if those hopes had been realized, it’s still been established that you’re my father. I could never deny my…own—”

She paused to stare at Anthony, and her eyes got even bigger as the full impact of that statement hit her. He wasn’t just
a
relative, he was the closest relative she could have. “My God, you really are my father.”

His face began to waver as her eyes filled with happy tears. She stood up. So did he. They both rounded the table at James’s end to get at each other. She threw herself into Anthony’s open arms. He crushed her with his own emotion.