No Greater Joy (19 page)

'He was running so fast that he fell quite hard, and he must have hit his head on the ground. Fortunately, someone recognised him, and contacted the camp.'

'Is he still unconscious?' Alison whispered.

'Yes, it's odd. He hasn't opened his eyes or said a word since the accident.' Mary hesitated. 'The doctors don't know why.'

Alison had had a few sips of coffee and eaten one of the cheese sandwiches Mary had brought her. It was as much as she was going to have.

She stood up abruptly. 'I want to see him now.'

Clint was lying all alone in a small private room. A nurse stood by his bed, writing something on a chart. When Alison opened the door and peeped inside, the nurse glanced at her enquiringly.

'You must be Miss Lenox? Your friend said you'd be coming.'

Alison looked across at the Figure lying motionless in the bed. 'How is he?' she asked unsteadily.

'Not too bad, considering the knock he took. It could have been a lot worse.'

'Mary said he hasn't spoken...'

'No, he hasn't. For some reason he just lies there. We don't know why. We're all hoping he'll respond to you.'The nurse threw her a compassionate look. 'That's why we're letting you see him now, even though it's not visiting hour.'

'May I stay with him as long as I like?' asked Alison, knowing that she would stay by Clint's bed, no matter what the nurse said.

'Yes, of course. Look, there's the bell—don't hesitate to ring if you need help.'

When the door had closed behind the white-clad figure, Alison stood beside Clint and looked down at him.

He was lying so still. His face was pale despite his tan, and beneath his eyes the skin was smudged.

Quietly she drew up a chair beside the bed and sat down. Then she laid a hand gently over one of his.

This was not the dynamic, confident man Alison had fought so hard against loving. Clint looked so vulnerable that her heart went out to him, and a knot of pain filled her chest.

Suddenly it didn't seem to matter a bit that she had seen him kissing Virginia. All she knew was that there were things she had to say to him.

Softly she began to talk. 'Clint, this is me—Alison. You're hurt, my darling. You've been in an accident, and I came here to be with you.'

There was no response from him. He lay as still as before;-long eyelashes resting on the smudged skin, his hand limp and unmoving beneath hers.

Alison trembled. Her eyes were wet, and her voice was choked with tears as she went on.

'It's all my fault. If I hadn't gone off without telling you, you wouldn't have tried to stop me, and you wouldn't be lying here now.'

She began to stroke his hand. 'I love you so much, Clint. You're my whole life. I didn't want to fall in love with you. I tried so hard to fight it, but I know now that I must have been in love with you almost from the beginning. I was going to tell you how I felt after the party at the hotel. But then...'

She stopped as tears threatened to close her throat, but she tried hard to swallow down on them. It was important that she go on talking to him. She hoped desperately that he would hear her, and would respond to her voice.

Standing up, she bent and kissed his mouth, willing him to show some sign of life, but the lips which had so often seduced her with their sweetness remained still against hers.

Picking up Clint's hand, she began to kiss it, first the palm, then each of the fingers. If he could not hear her, perhaps she could bring him back to consciousness with her touch.

Presently, a little desperate now, she put down his hand and went to the window. Somehow she had to get through to him. She would just have to talk to him until he heard her. There was no other way.

Abruptly she swung from the window and looked towards the bed—only to gasp in shocked amazement. For Clint's eyes were open, and he was watching her.

'Clint!' She was beside him in a moment. 'Oh, Clint, you're awake!'

'Yes, my Alison.'

'I've been sitting here talking to you, wishing you'd hear me.'

Incredibly, there was the hint of a smile in his eyes. 'I heard you.'

'You
did!'
She looked at him in amazement. 'How much did you hear?'

'Enough, darling.'

'But you didn't let on.'

'I know. I was hoping you'd say a little more.'

She stared at him. 'Do you mean to say you deliberately lay here listening, never letting on that you could hear me?'

'Yes.' He didn't even have the grace to look ashamed.

'Good heavens, Clint, you're a fraud!'

'Would you have said those very interesting things if you'd known I could hear you?'

Her colour was suddenly high. 'Yes—though I might have toned them down a bit.'

'Well,' he drawled, 'this
is
a change. Now I really am glad I decided to remain unconscious. That way I heard the lot without any toning.'

'Decided
to remain unconscious, Clint?' she queried.

'I'm afraid so.'

'Then you know where you are, and what's happened to you?'

'I know I'm in a hospital, and that I had an accident of some kind. I even remember...' He frowned. 'Some of it's a little hazy, but the fact is, I've been awake for some time.'

Alison was bewildered. 'I don't understand. Why didn't you respond when people tried to speak to you? Mary aftd Virginia, the doctors and nurses. You must have known they'd be concerned about you.'

'I would have spoken, but I kept hoping that sooner or later someone would have the sense to call for you.' His eyes gleamed. 'I presume someone did.'

'Mary phoned.' Alison looked down at the man she loved. 'How much do you remember, Clint?'

'A little. I went to your cabin, but you'd gone, without as much as a word to me. Mary said you were catching a train, and I realised I had to stop you.' He paused a moment, making an obvious effort to think back. 'I remember.. .jumping into my car. I knew I had to get to the train before you did. And then...I got to the station, and I think...yes, there was a train that was just leaving. I didn't know if you were on it.' He looked very tired suddenly. 'The rest is a blank, I'm afraid.'

When Alison had told him the remainder of the story, he looked exasperated. 'I slipped? What a
stupid
thing to do!'

Yesterday Alison had allowed hurt pride to get the better of her, but not today.

'I was the stupid one,' she said quietly. 'I shouldn't have run away from Bushveld. I blame myself, Clint. First Timmy was hurt, now you.'

'Both freak accidents—you can't be blamed for either of them.' Incredibly, he laughed.

It was so good to hear the sound that she was able to say, 'Now what about this business of playing unconscious? Don't you have any scruples, Clint?'

'Not a single one where you're concerned, my darling Alison. And certainly not after all we've been through. Whatever happened to me yesterday was worth it, if it brought you to my bedside and caused you to say all those very nice things.'

She tensed. 'Clint...'

'Why did you leave, Alison?'

Alison's cheeks were hot. 'I saw you with Virginia, in your cabin. You were kissing...'

Something moved in Clint's eyes, and his breath was a hiss. 'Good heavens! So it was that—the kiss! It never occurred to me that you might have seen it.''It hurt,' Alison said painfully.

'It shouldn't have. You'll realise that when I tell you about it. But first,' Clint said very softly, 'I want to know what happened to the girl who was never going to be jealous again.'

'She fell in love.' Alison's voice was very low. 'If you heard as much as you say you did, then you know that.'

He grinned. But there was something other than amusement in his eyes, a naked expression. Suddenly the blood was singing in her veins.

'Yes, I do know,' he said.

'Do you mind?' she asked urgently.

'Mind?'
His voice was ragged. 'Come and put your head on the pillow beside me, Alison. I don't think I can hold you just yet, but we can still be close.'

'The nurse won't like it,' Alison said mischievously.

'It doesn't matter. All that matters is you and me.'

She bent towards him, careful not to lie where she could hurt him, but laying her head as close as she could beside his on the pillow. Weak Clint might be, and unable to hold her, yet still his nearness set her senses whirling. For a while they lay quite still, with Alison's lips nuzzling his throat.

When Clint spoke at last, his breath fanned her lips. 'I love you, my darling Alison.'

'You do?'
She raised her head and looked down at him.

'I do, darling. I fell in love with you on our trip down to Bushveld all those weeks ago. I never knew I could love a woman as much as I love you.'

'Clint!' Joy was a wild thing, burgeoning inside her, filling her, consuming her. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. 'You never said anything.'

'I didn't dare to. The Alison I knew at the start would have been frightened out of her wits if I'd told her how I felt about her.'

'That's true,' she admitted ruefully.

He tried to turn to her on the pillow, winced and lay still. 'You'll have to do all the kissing for now, darling.'

Her kisses were gentle. She kissed his lips, his eyes, then his lips again.

At last she said, 'I don't want to tire you. Perhaps I should leave you for a while.'

'Don't you dare! There are things I've waited too long to say to you. I love you so much, my darling Alison. You're part of me, part of my blood, part of my life. I can't imagine a life that doesn't have you in it.'

'I only wish I'd known all along,' she sighed.

'No, darling, it's better that you didn't. You were so frightened of loving—so distrustful of it—that we wouldn't have had a chance together.'

She thought about that for a moment. 'You're probably right,' she agreed.

'I kept hoping you'd come to understand that you loved me, but I knew I couldn't rush you. Do you remember asking me why I didn't write or phone when I was away on the business trip? That was the reason. I wanted you to have some time alone, so that you could think about your feelings.'

'I didn't realise...'

'I was determined that when you finally came to me, you'd know it wasn't on the rebound from Raymond.'

'It was never rebound, Clint.' Alison was quiet a moment. Then she said, 'You were right, you know—I was never in love with Raymond. It really was a brother- sister relationship all along, and I didn't know it. I ran into them at the station when I arrived home, Raymond and Edna together, and I didn't feel a thing—except for affection for a very dear friend.'

'I'm relieved to hear it,' Clint said quietly.

'I think Raymond was, too.' She felt as if there was was nothing she could not say to him. Now and for ever.

'It's you I love, Clint,' she said. 'Only you.'

He managed to move his head a little closer to hers. 'And I'll never love anyone but you, my darling Alison.'

She wanted nothing more than to give herself up completely to the utter happiness of the moment, but there was something she had to say first.

'I have to tell you, Clint, I was so jealous of Virginia.'

'The girl who was never going to be jealous again! I asked you once if you were jealous, and you denied it.'

'Because to admit it would have been admitting to myself that I loved you.' She was quiet a moment as she remembered. 'That night at the hotel, when I saw you together, I realised for the first time that I was jealous. I wanted to die. Even then I tried so hard to fight being in love with you'—she grinned—'and got myself thrown in the swimming-pool fully-dressed for my efforts!'

'Brian's party.' Laughter bubbled in Clint's throat. "I always wondered what got into you that night.'

'Now you know. All along I was fighting myself far more than I was fighting you—you were right about that. But I thought I could cope. And then yesterday, when I saw you and Virginia kissing, I knew I couldn't bear to share you.'

'You'll never have to share me, that's a promise,' Clint told her. 'I said I would tell you why I was kissing Virginia?'

The new Alison said, 'Yes, I want to know.'

'She'd just heard the news that she'd done well on her psychology thesis, that she was going to get a wonderful job as a result of it. She's worked so hard, Alison, and I was happy for her.'

'Oh...' Alison whispered inadequately.

'There was no sex in the kiss, darling. It was a congratulatory kiss, it never went further that.'

She believed him. 'But there used to be something...'

'We used to date. I like Virginia, and she's still a good friend, but it's never been serious.'

It had been more serious for Virginia, Alison knew. And she hoped the boost to Virginia's career would be some consolation for the loss of Clint in her life.

'So that's the real reason you kept defending her,' she said wryly. 'I always sensed there was more to it than just the fact that she was a competent camp director.'

'Maybe it was a double reason,' Clint conceded. 'I told Virginia how I felt about you.' He grinned. 'After the kiss! You might even have heard me if you'd waited.'

'I've behaved like an idiot,' Alison reproached herself.

'You behaved like a girl who'd been hurt.'

'Yes...' she agreed.

'That's all over now. Alison, when Linda died I thought I would never love again, and for nine years I didn't. There were women here and there, but they were always just friends—like Virginia. And then I met you, and all of a sudden I was so deeply in love that I couldn't think straight. It's been so hard not to make love to you, my darling—especially when 1 was beginning to hope you were ready for it.'

'I
was
ready. That was the other thing I was going to tell you after the party—that I wanted you to make love to me.'

'Do you mean that? Good lord! I can feel my blood pressure shooting up.''Careful!' teased Alison. 'The nurse might have something to say about that.'

He laughed. 'I think she'd be happy to know I'd recovered consciousness and was getting back to normal so quickly.'

And then his voice altered. 'I told you I went to your cabin and found you gone. I'd come to tell you I was in love with you.'