No Hope In New Hope (Samantha Jamison Mystery Book 7) (17 page)

Chapter 3

Deal Or No Deal

My definition of a zoo: A place or situation that’s crowded, or a group that is loud and uncontrolled. That accurately would describe the Worths’ house once Martha, Betty, and Hazel learned the thirtyish duo, Mona and her fiancé, Teddy, were in residence over the Worths’ garages.

So with Clay long gone by the time Mona and her honey arrived, I figured that was probably a good thing. He would have wanted to hang around to scrutinize Teddy, before the three ladies had the chance to first check him out
(ogle him)
then digitally probe his background.

I was relieved when I caught Teddy trailing after Mona, toting two carry-on bags up to the garage apartment.

Good
,
that meant they weren’t staying that long.

While the two lovebirds unpacked, I went to the kitchen. I watched from the doorway, smiling at my seventyish sleuthing crew, Martha, Betty, and Hazel as they set up for dinner. I trusted them implicitly and admired their intuition and how clever yet different they were from each other. I quickly filled them in on our new houseguests.

The thin and fashion-challenged Martha with her spikey white short hair asked, “Why’d Mona show up out of the blue with some hunk, who’s supposedly her fiancé?”

Tall and reedy Betty tucked some loose gray strands back into her bun and asked, “Is this her second or third?”

Shorter, plump Hazel with her curly, gray hair chuckled. “Engaged in Ocean City, an alleged marriage in Boca, now
maybe
a fiancé? She’s all over the map with relationships.”

“I admit, it’s never dull with her around,” said Martha.

I laughed. “It’s never dull with you three either. Besides, I’m always outnumbered. Mona’s my perfect age-equalizer to my favorite and unpredictable senior crew.”

Martha harrumphed. “We’re your
only
senior crew.”

Betty and Hazel initially fooled people by their proper, old-fashioned behavior, but were a nice counter-balance to Martha’s in-your-face personality. They were all a constant in my life, challenging me to take mental and physical leaps that I never would have considered before I met them.

Mona, on the other hand, kept popping in and out of our lives both helping and hindering, but in the end, coming through only to disappear to who knew where. We were never inclined to delve too deeply into her legal and illegal connections as long as it didn’t involve jail time for us.

Clay, my
very personal undercover
, private investigator, used Mona and her networking skills to assist him on some of his investigations whenever they were needed.

I grabbed some tomato/basil wraps, slathered on some Parmesan/ranch dressing, slices of turkey, baby lettuce, diced tomato, cucumber, and shredded mozzarella cheese.

Hazel folded them. “Why would she bring Teddy here?”

“And what do you think is going down?” added Betty.

“We must separate Mona and Teddy from each other,” I said. “I need some answers. Any suggestions on how we’ll accomplish that small miracle?”

There was a moment of silence.

“I’ll do it,” sighed Martha. “The sacrifices I make...”

I nodded, not quite sure how Martha would pull off finding out just why and Mona and Teddy had shown up, but knowing her, she’d get it done, and
very
creatively too.

Betty just shook her head. “Oh, poor Teddy.”

Hazel never looked up while plating the wraps. “He’ll never know what hit him.”

I stared over at the ever-flamboyant Martha, who was now whistling while she cleaned up the counters. I could also hear those wheels turning. She was plotting already.

“I still have a trick or two up my sleeve,” she chuckled.

Martha, her stilettos, and Teddy all in one room.

Chapter 4

Descriptions & Grammatical Errors

Definition of an anomaly:
Something that deviates from what is considered normal or expected, an inconsistency.
That pretty much summed up my relationship with Clay, which wasn’t exactly what you’d call normal. We stayed in the same place with irregularity. Our whole relationship was a definite-maybe.

Clay and I go way back to when I was chasing down leads to find out why my husband, Stephen, had died under suspicious circumstances. Little did I know at that time when I first met Clay, he was not only a quaint bookshop owner, but also a very sly PI: a private investigator.

With and without Clay’s help, I solved that mystery. Of course, we both had commitment issues. So we eventually worked through my lack of trust in his slick segues in what was really going on back when we first met by managing some great
undercover
moments since then.

I’d say my relationships with my crew are ones for the books: my books. Each time we all get together to solve a another mystery, it ends up in my next novel. My agent usually fields my sometimes outrageous stall tactics, while my editor thinks up red side-margin, spot-on comments that are not only helpful, but give me a chuckle or two, while she critiques the believability of my mysteries and sentence structure. I love her to death, but...

Hey, we’re talking fiction, right? I always counter many people and characters speak grammatically incorrect.

* * * * *

Take note of the following:

“This was the most unkindest cut of all.”

(Marc Anthony - Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar: Double superlative)

“To boldly go where no man has gone before.”

(An intro to each episode of Star Trek: split infinitive)

“You ain’t heard nothing yet, folks.”

(Al Jolson – Movie: The Jazz Singer: Double negative.)

P.S. Thank you, James Harbeck for those fine examples.

(I could go on and on.)

Hopefully, you understand the essence of my point.

(Adverbs first, tend to show the speaker’s attitude)

...chuckle

* * * * *

Martha surveyed the Worths’ impressive kitchen. “We sure were lucky to stay another month in these deluxe digs with all this stainless steel, granite, and marble.”

I stared out the floor-to-ceiling whole wall of windows showcasing the back gardens while I sliced some baby Bella mushroom then turned back to the others. “So what do we owe Mona’s visit to other than her potential fiancé?”

Hazel put butter and olive oil into the pan. “I certainly didn’t expect her pending engagement.”

Betty grabbed some Italian balsamic vinegar to drizzle over the just-sliced tomatoes, buffalo mozzarella, and the garden-fresh basil on the platter. “From what you said, it all sounds so cloak and dagger.”

Martha stopped tearing up the Romaine lettuce leaves. “I noticed she wasn’t too excited we’re here. Must have put a crimp in her elaborate plans, whatever they were.”

Hazel turned to Martha. “Why do you say that?”

“Whenever Mona shows up there’s usually trouble.”

“True, but that’s what’s so exciting!” exclaimed Hazel.

I shook my head. “You’ve all read too many mysteries.”

“No,” said Martha. “We’ve been involved in too many.”

I handed over all the newly-sliced mushrooms to Hazel, who then slid them easily into the hot pan. I then sprinkled on some salt and pepper as they began to sizzle.

“I’d like to know what we’re dealing with,” I said.

“Do you think she’ll tell us the truth?” asked Martha.

“I sure hope so,” I replied, then chuckled. “And to think I thought I’d be bored once I finished my last mystery.”

“Bored never seems to come into the equation where we’re concerned, does it?” Martha said.

“Sam, your grin says you love every minute of intrigue that lands in your lap,” laughed Betty.

I tried to suppress another chuckle, but failed.

“And,” added Hazel, “as long as you have us, your top-notch sleuthing team backing you up, you’re golden.”

But as I considered Mona’s unexpected and suspicious arrival, I began to feel itchy. Like people get who ignore all the warnings about its hazards, but still walk right through poison ivy. Why turn back? I was already exposed.

I had stepped into it, but the question was, into what?

Chapter 5

Fact From Fiction

Our eyes traveled back and forth across the beautifully-set, flower-laden, and candlelit table, as Mona glossed over how Teddy and she met: an online dating site. Mona recited in a less-than-wordy explanation how she input her dream-date material. I gave Teddy the once-over. Her description of him had fit perfectly, which I found highly dubious. Mr. too-good-to-be-true Teddy and the ever-shrewd and savvy Mona were an unlikely pair: a beyond-believable match.

“Teddy, what caught your interest in Mona?” I probed.

“I wrote online I was an avid art enthusiast, and to my surprise, Mona replied she was just as passionate about art, and so was her sister, who had an impressive art collection. And here I thought witty Mona was just another pretty face, but after discovering our mutual interest, my world tilted.”

‘My world tilted?’
What idiot’s date guide did he read?

“Aww, Teddy,” said Mona, blushing.

Oh, please...

Martha had to look away for fear of cracking up.

My BS meter was off the scale. He was Mona’s match alright: both experts in the con market. Was that her reason for latching onto him? Okay, I admit his good looks could stop traffic. But other than that, what was this really about?

With Mona, trust me, something was always going on in the background. I was still lost in my musings of the, ‘how-they-got-together angle’ when Teddy turned my way and kept glancing back and forth between Mona and me.

“I’m having a hard time seeing any kind of resemblance between you and your twin sister, Mona.”

“Sam and I are fraternal twins, that’s why,” said Mona.

I swear, I almost spit out my wine.
Fraternal...twins?

Mona quickly added, “Hard to believe, huh?”

Martha jerked Mona’s way. “Takes a leap of faith...”

Hazel coughed into her napkin to mask her laugh.

Betty took a gulp of her wine, not daring to speak.

Then I realized I hadn’t let my crew in on the lie Mona had spun about us being related and turned to explain.

“...Uh, you remember me saying how different we were, being sisters
and
fraternal twins, too, don’t you?” I said, subtly winking, trying not to blow Mona’s mounting lies and still trying to figure out what she had up her sleeve.

Snarky Martha eyed Mona’s full figure. “Must have been a tight fit for your Momma. I feel her pain.”

Mona glared at Martha. “You’re such a jokester.”

“True,” said Martha. “That’s what keeps me going.”

“What? You’re imagination or your sense of humor?”

“Where you’re concerned, both!” she said, grinning.

Teddy checked his image on a silver bowl on the table.

“Overreacting is unhealthy, Mona. It causes wrinkles.”

Martha laughed. “Ah, Teddy offers intriguing advice.”

Smoothing down his hair, he turned back to Martha.

“...Yeah, I’m just full of intrigue.”

Silence.
Obviously, his focus was elsewhere: on himself.

“He sure is full of something,” whispered Martha.

“Are you familiar with my mystery series, Teddy?”

“I guess unraveling clues can be interesting.”

“Especially when someone slips up and gets their due.”

Perspiration appeared on Teddy’s upper lip. He broke eye contact and glanced toward Mona then the clock.

Now, Teddy, why so nervous?

Mona and Teddy were two peas in a pod: deceivers. But Mona pretty much fought for the good side. So that left me thinking Teddy was on the opposite side of that spectrum.

What was the big push to stay here?

Then the obvious hit me: the Worths’ vast art collection. They trusted me to protect their property and possessions. Why’d Mona expose it to this con? Had Teddy latched onto Mona because of this art? Were they conning each other?

I’d been watching Teddy’s every move since he came down from their apartment for dinner. He hadn’t glanced at anything else but mirrors and the art. Mona had to notice.

This whole thing felt like a set-up: a bad one.

Martha’s eyes caught mine then caught Teddy’s, asking him, “How about a drink and a game of pool downstairs?”

Teddy jumped at the invitation to leave the table. “Yes!”

He was most likely glad to get away from more scrutiny. Besides, a bunch of women and one man makes men kind of edgy. Just ask Clay. It happened frequently.

Mona jumped up too. “That sounds like a good idea...”

I stopped her, brooking no excuses. “No,” I whispered.

Then I nodded as Martha wearing her stilettos gave me a wink and a thumbs up as she followed Teddy. I turned on some music, hoping it would muffle both upstairs and downstairs
.

Martha was taking one for the home team.

~~~~