No Knight Needed (41 page)

“Yes.” She turned toward him. “I just discovered that my dog ate my last canister of baby formula, and I have to get more. Do you have a phone? I don’t have mine and I have to call that number. Why don’t they have a phone next to the sign? Who brings a phone with them at this hour? I mean, what am I supposed to do?” She wiped her forearm across her eyes. “I’m so tired. I can’t take it anymore—” Tears started again, and Griffin put his arm around her.

“I have the key, come on.” He helped her up the stairs and unlocked the door for her.

She knew exactly where the formula was, and she was back in a second. “I don’t have my purse. Can you tell Norm to put it on our charge? It’s Harry Burns.”

He nodded, and committed the name to memory. “Good luck. Try to get some sleep.”

“This will help. Thank you so much. I thought I was going to fall apart out there before you arrived. I owe you.” Her words were so heartfelt, Griffin felt himself stand a little taller.

“It’s no problem.”

She waved at him and hurried down the stairs.

Griffin stood in the door and watched her get into the car that was so much like Clare’s. She waved at him, the same as how Clare had waved at him so many times.

And as her car pulled away, Griffin was hit with the most extreme sense of loneliness he’d ever felt. And he knew there was one more stop he had to make before going back to Boston.

By the time Clare reached the end of Harlan’s dirt road, she’d stopped crying.

By the time she reached the edge of Main Street, she’d made a decision.

By the time she was driving past Wright’s, she was dialing her home phone number.

Katie finally answered the fifth time she called. “What?” she mumbled sleepily.

“I’m quitting my job as a lawyer,” Clare announced.

“Good.”

Clare frowned at her daughter’s sleepy acquiescence. Maybe she didn’t really understand what Clare was saying. “I don’t have a way to start a business yet.”

“Okay.” Katie yawned.

Um, hello? This was a big deal! Her daughter should be freaking out on her by now. “We’re probably going to have to live in our car and eat pine cones for dinner,” she said, enunciating very clearly, in case Katie was too asleep to grasp the tragic situation Clare was thrusting upon her.

“Yeah, sure, fine,” Katie mumbled.

Fine? That was fine? Well, then... “And your father was an ass who didn’t deserve us.”

Katie laughed then. “Mom, I love you.”

Clare realized then that her daughter actually did understand. Katie got it, and she was really, truly okay with it. Clare’s tension faded, and she smiled. Granted it was a somewhat forced smile loaded with terror and uncertainty, but it was also illuminated with relief and hope. Katie wasn’t judging her, or trying to make her choose a path she didn’t want, and that was a precious feeling. “I love you, too, sweetheart. I’ll be home soon. I just wanted to tell you.”

“Want me to get the champagne out?”

Clare laughed, and suddenly she knew it was all going to be okay. She and Katie would find their way together. “You’re fifteen, and we don’t have champagne.”

“How about milk and cupcakes, then?”

Clare grinned. “That sounds great. I think tonight is a night to celebrate, and cupcakes are definitely the appropriate choice.” She paused, then added, “Thank you for your support, Katie. I would never have made this choice without your encouragement. You and Griffin gave me the courage to make this leap.”

Katie was quiet for a second. “I wish Griffin was here.”

“I do, too.” Clare let herself feel the pain and the sadness, she faced it and she let it fill her. “But we deserve more than what he can give us. We deserve a man who will give us everything. We deserve it all.”

“But what if he could do it?”

What if...
No. She knew he couldn’t. His soul was elsewhere, and she would accept nothing less than his full commitment to her and Katie. “We deserve it all,” she said fiercely. “And we’re going to get it. Okay?”

“You’re cool, Mom,” Katie said, approval evident in her voice.

Clare smiled. “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever called me cool.”

“Well, it’s the first time you’ve ever been cool.” Katie sounded more awake, and Clare could hear her feet on the stairs. “I’ll go get our feast ready. See you in a few minutes?”

“Yes.” Clare hung up the phone as she turned onto her road. She’d said brave, strong words to her daughter, but how was she really going to get it? Any of it? Because—

There was a big, black truck in her driveway.

Clare slammed on the brakes, her heart pounding as she stared at it. Why was he back?

As she watched, the driver’s door opened and Griffin stepped out. He slammed his door shut and faced her. Waiting.

He was difficult to see in the dark. The shadowed outline of a man with broad shoulders, lean hips and thick hair. Just like the night she’d met him. And just like the night she’d met him, something turned deep in her belly at the sight of him.

“I can’t do this,” she whispered. He was too much. He was too compelling. He was her other half. What if he was there to offer her some part-time deal? Come see her on weekends? The occasional trip to Boston for her? Or just one more night of loving before he walked out on her forever?

She would do it. She knew she would. She couldn’t say no to him.

Her foot trembled on her brake with the need to go see him. To take whatever he was offering. To take it, to pretend it was okay, and to shut down the part of her that wanted it all. To betray the woman inside her that wanted a husband, a family, a man who thought she and her daughter were the most important things on this earth.

She couldn’t pretend anymore that she was okay with leftovers.

“I deserve it all,” she whispered.

So she eased her foot off the brake, turned her steering wheel back toward the road, and drove away from the man she loved more than she’d ever thought she could love again.

* * *

Griffin couldn’t believe it when Clare drove off, leaving him behind.

Hadn’t she noticed he was waiting for her?

But a hardening in his gut told him she had. He was sure of it. She’d paused so long at the end of the driveway, he knew she’d seen him and then made the choice to reject him.

She’d walked away from him just like Hillary had.

Clare was the only one who had believed in him. She saw his value where no one else did. She was his last grasp of humanity. If there was anything redeemable in him, she would have seen it.

But she’d driven away. She’d finally accepted all supporting evidence and given up on him.

Son of a bitch.

That bit like hell, and he didn’t like it. Not one bit. Probably because he knew she was right. As long as Clare had deemed him worthy, he’d held out hope, a thin, fragile, unraveling thread of hope that had been tied together by Norm and Jackson and the woman with the hungry infant.

But now that he knew Clare didn’t believe in him anymore?

Shit.

If she didn’t believe in him, who would?

“Griffin?” The back door opened and Katie came out on the back step. “Griffin!” She screeched with delight and raced down the steps toward him.

“Katie!” Her joyous welcome made him feel like a king, and he caught her as she threw herself at him. “It’s so good to see you,” he said. “I missed you.” He’d been gone only for a few hours, but it felt like an eternity now that he was back. “I think you’ve grown since I last saw you.”

“I missed you, too.” She beamed up at him, and he saw the genuine happiness on her face.

Shit. She really had missed him? “Does your mom miss me?” The question snuck out before he could stop it, but once it was out, he wanted the answer. He wanted a yes.

But he didn’t get one.

“She’s mad at you.” Katie’s excitement faded, and those blue eyes narrowed in accusation. “You left. Why would you leave us?”

“I didn’t—” He cut off his customary denial, the one he’d perfected whenever anyone had asked why he’d abandoned his wife and daughter. He understood now that he had left them, in some ways, but this time... driving away from Clare and Katie? That was really and truly leaving, and he would no longer deny responsibility. “Because I’m a jerk.”

Katie laughed. “No, you’re not. You just pretend you are.” And he saw, in those blue eyes that were so much like Clare’s, an acceptance of who he was. “Mom knows that,” she added cagily, “even if she’s pissed at you.”

His fist tightened around his car keys. “Really?”

Katie nodded. “Yeah.”

Griffin looked down the road to where Clare had driven. The street was empty. She wasn’t coming back. But according to Katie... Was there really a possibility that Clare hadn’t completely given up on him? He thought back to Clare’s driving off. She’d waited a long time before turning away. Second thoughts?

Dammit. He wanted a chance.

But she’d made her choice when she’d driven off. He had to respect it—

Or did he?

Screw that. Clare didn’t have the right to dismiss him. No one did. He didn’t give a shit what anyone thought about him or his ability to make it happen outside the office. Not anymore. “I have to go.” He set Katie back from him.

Katie’s face crumpled. “You’re not coming back, are you?”

He met her gaze. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “But I’m going to go find out.” He got in the truck. “I’m going after your mom.”

“Oh...you’ll need good luck, then.” Stepping back from the truck. Katie crossed her fingers and held them up. “She’s feeling pretty hostile toward you.”

“Yeah, but she loves me, too.” Or she used to. If she still did... would it even be enough?

He decided to cross his own fingers, and he held up his hand, mimicking Katie’s pose.

She grinned, and then he shifted into reverse. Gravel sprayed up as he peeled out of Clare’s driveway, and he took off after the only woman that mattered.

* * *

Clare was crying so hard she could barely see the road, when bright headlights came barreling up behind her. The headlights blinded her, reflecting in the mirror, and she pulled over and slowed down. “Stupid driver,” she shouted as it sped past her.

Then the offender careened in front of her, spraying up dirt as it cut her off.

“Hey!” She slammed on her brakes, and her car slid across the dirt toward the car. She screamed and held up her arms, bracing for impact, but her car stopped inches from the side of the vehicle. “Oh my God.” She closed her eyes and leaned back, her whole body shaking. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay—”

Her passenger door was ripped open, and she screamed as a dark body loomed beside her.

“What do you think you’re doing, taking off on me?”

The deep voice was unmistakable. “Griffin?”

His familiar visage was in her car, and he was glaring at her.

“You jerk!” She punched his chest, fury rising fast inside her. “You could have gotten us killed!”

“I would never have endangered you.” He caught her fist. “I gave you space to stop.”

“Leave me alone!” It felt too good to have his hand on her. “Get away from me!” She tried to hit him again, desperate to make him leave.

But he just reached over her, unsnapped her seat belt and pulled her out of the car, completely ignoring her protestations. “Calm down,” he said. “I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to hear it.” She was out of the car now, and she could barely breathe under the impact of his presence. She’d been prepared to never see him again, to never be in his presence, to never feel the hugeness of his spirit and strength engulfing her.

She had not been remotely prepared to face all that again and still walk away. He looked beautiful and powerful and her heart cried for his embrace. “I really don’t want to hear it,” she repeated. “Please, just leave me alone.”

Like the stubborn, arrogant man he was, he completely ignored her request. “I have a business decision I need to discuss with you.”

A business decision? Seriously. She shook her head. “I can’t—”

“You can.” He took her hands then, ever so gently, and she almost started to cry again. “It will just take a minute.”

“Griffin,” she begged. “Please, let me go. I can’t do this. I really can’t. Just let me go.”

He was silent for a moment, and at first she thought he was going to agree. As much as she had meant her words, the terror that seized her at the thought of him leaving nearly made her legs buckle. Griffin must have sensed it, because he swept her up in his arms and set her gently on the hood of her car.

The brief moment in his arms was too agonizingly short, and too agonizingly long, as it stirred up memories and longings and desires so powerful her body trembled.

Griffin braced his hands on either side of her hips and leaned into her space, boxing her in, overwhelming her with his presence.

She fisted her hands against the urge to touch him. To stroke her hands over his face one last time. To feel his mouth against hers one last time. To take whatever he could give, and deny her need for more. She deserved more, and she couldn’t live with less.

“What do you need from me?” he asked.

She stared at him, totally confused by the question. “What?”

“What if I was like Jackson? What if I had a regular job and made a few hundred bucks a week? What if I couldn’t buy you things? What if my truck was rusted? What if it was just me?”

“That’s not you. You aren’t regular.” She pushed at his arms. “This is ridiculous. Let me go.”

He didn’t budge, but his eyes narrowed. “You said you loved me. Who did you love?”

She shook her head. “Oh, no, I’m not going there again—”

“Clare. I need to know. Tell me. Do you love the guy who has vast reserves in his bank account and an expensive truck? Or is there something else?”

She heard the urgency in his voice, the desperate plea, and she forced herself to look at him. His eyes were dark, and there was strain about his mouth. He didn’t look like the confident businessman and she’d gotten to know. He was a man carrying the weight of a thousand lifetimes, a fierce warrior who was about to crack under the strain.