No One Needs to Know (16 page)

Ava laughs—a horrible laugh with exactly zero humor in it—and shoves her stool back. “I have no idea why the hell you’ve decided that Zoey is more important than our friendship, but I look forward to hearing from you when you come to your senses.”

She yanks the front door open, just in time to reveal my brother approaching, his skateboard tucked under one arm. But instead of speaking to him, Ava all but shoves him aside as she leaves.

Liam stares after her for a moment, then rights himself again, slipping through the door with a total
what was that all about
look on his face.

“What’s her deal?” he asks, stepping into the entry and kicking off his sneakers.

“I pissed her off,” I say, sliding off the stool and grabbing her still-full soda.

“Obviously. What’d you do, slice her Amex? Chip her manicure?”

I pour Ava’s soda down the drain. “No. I told her to apologize to Zoey.”

“What?” he asks, suddenly intrigued. Like maybe our little tiff wasn’t stupid girl stuff after all. “What’d she do to Zoey?”

“She’s been on her case forever. It was just some stupid thing from freshman year, and I figured it had gone on long enough. But apparently Ava’s not one for letting go.” I blow out a long, drawn-out sigh.

“If it happened three years ago, why do you care about it now?”

“They kind of got into it in the hall today. I decided enough was enough.”

“Huh. I’m surprised she didn’t mention it.”

I dart a look at my brother. “Wait. Were you with her just now?”

“Yeah. I took her over to Foss,” Liam says.

“Ugh, you made her hang out at the skate park?”

He shrugs. “She seemed into it. I taught her how to do a manual and an ollie.”

I narrow my eyes. “She mastered two tricks in, like, an hour?”

Liam grins. “Okay, so she didn’t really complete the tricks, but there’s always next time.” He grabs a mini-bag of Doritos out of a nearby cupboard, walks to the living room, and sits down, his feet up on our glass coffee table.

I follow him, soda in hand. “And you expect me to believe she thought it was fun?”

Okay, it’s not actually that far-fetched. I could see Zoey enjoying a few extreme sports. More than I ever would,
anyway.

“Yeah. This chick’s pretty awesome. She just kind of rolls with it, you know?”

“Wow, what a romantic speech. Let me call Hallmark.”

Liam picks up one of the little decorative pillows and tosses it at me. “Shut up. I’m just saying … I really like her.”

I blink. “
Really
like her?”

“Yeah. I mean … she’s just different, you know?”

“I know,” I say. God, do I ever. “But you’re not, like, settling down or committing or whatever, are you?”

He can’t. They can’t get serious. Not if Zoey and I start seeing each other. That’s …

That’s weird. I can’t date my brother’s girlfriend.

“I’m not seeing anyone else, if that’s what you’re asking,” Liam says.

“It’s just … I figured you’d get bored of her soon.”

“I thought you liked her,” he says.

And for one terrifying moment, as his eyes search mine, I think he knows.

And then I realize the question is completely innocent.

“I do. We have a class together and we’re working on that assignment. It’s due in a few days, and she’s doing a pretty awesome job at it. If we don’t get an A, I’ll be shocked.”

“So then why do you care? I mean, with Shannon, I get it. She was dumb as rocks. And Dani … was kind of high maintenance. And Lilli turned out to just be a bitch. You were right about them. But Zoey … I think I could fall for her, you know?”

I know.

“Oh,” I say, panic building. “Um, I see.”

This is bad. Really bad. He can’t fall for her.

“Anyway, I gotta shower. We were at the skate park for a long time.”

He gets off the couch and leaves me there, all curled up under the soaring ceilings, feeling too small in the expansive space.

Liam actually wants to be with Zoey, as her boyfriend. Maybe for a long time, even.

He can’t know what Zoey and I are to one another. Not until we figure out if it’s something real, something that could last.

He doesn’t need to know.

No one needs to know.

ZOEY

On Wednesday, much to my surprise, Olivia shows up exactly at seven. We haven’t talked since the
incident
, and I figured she’d choose to forget about the dinner plans we’d made during our late-night text session.

I climb into the passenger seat, just to give her a chance to apologize, but she pulls away from the curb without a word.

By the time we hit the freeway, the silence feels heavy. The sun is dipping lower in the sky behind us, but the warmth of the fall night is enough that we can roll down our windows. The breeze kicks in, and my loose hair swirls around my shoulders.

“I talked to her yesterday,” Olivia says, finally breaking the silence. “About you.”

“Who?”

“Ava.”

“And?”

She twists her hands around the steering wheel. “And I think I might need to find a new lunch table for a while.”

I cringe. “It went that well, huh?”

She nods. “Yeah. She didn’t really like what I had to say.” Then she flicks a glance over at me. “But I should have said it right then, in the hall at school. I should have taken your side. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

I lean back against the leather seat. I want to agree—I want to push her—but I know this should be enough. She’s choosing me over her best friend. She’s standing up for me.

And that’s plenty.

“So, I shouldn’t hold my breath for an apology?” I ask.

“Um, no,” Olivia says, squeezing my knee. “Definitely not.”

“Are you okay?” I add. As much as I thought it was stupid, her being friends with Ava, I can’t ignore that they were best friends. And she’s just given her up.

For me.

Olivia nods. “I’ll survive.”

“You sure? She’s kinda your best friend. As much as I hate her, I don’t want to ruin that. For your sake, not hers.”

“I’ll be fine. And maybe she’ll come around eventually.”

“Okay,” I say. “Thanks. But, uh, where are we going exactly?”

“I thought we could go to the Lodge,” Olivia says, pulling into the fast lane. “It’s in Seattle, right by the stadiums.”

“Seattle, huh? That’s kinda far.”

“Forty-five minutes tops.”

I stare at her, waiting for her to say more, waiting for her to explain.

“Okay, yeah, it’s far. But I thought it made sense to go out of town where we wouldn’t run into anyone.”

“That’s what I figured,” I say. There’s tension in the car, and it’s making me feel all itchy and squirmy. I’m too far out of my comfort zone.

“It’s mostly my brother,” Olivia offers. “Who I don’t want to run into, that is. I told him we were going to work on our paper at the library.”

“Oh.”

“So, did you have fun with him?” she asks, glancing over at me. “At the skate park last night?”

“Yeah. It was cool, learning to skateboard. I’ve never tried it before. Turns out I suck at it.”

Olivia laughs. “I’ve never even tried it. I think I’d break my nose or something.”

She doesn’t say anything else, and I stare at the dashboard clock until it ticks over another minute. “Is that what you’re really asking? If I had fun skateboarding?”

The only sign she’s heard my question is the way her fingers tighten around the steering wheel.

“No.”

“It’s more about
him
, isn’t it,” I say. “About whether I like being with him.”

“Yes.”

“I did. I always do. Liam is a good guy.”

“I know. He
is
my brother.”

“That’s not really what you’re after, though, is it?”

She shakes her head but doesn’t speak.

“Well, I want you to know that it’s not the same with him,” I say. “It’s not like it is with us.”

Olivia glances over at me, her surprise evident. “Yeah?”

I nod. “I think I should break up with him. I want to be with you, not him.”

Her fingers tighten even more. She’s hanging on to the wheel as if at any moment the car is going to try to drive off without her.

“You can’t,” she says.

I narrow my eyes. “I can’t pick you?”

“You can’t pick.”

I sink farther into the bucket seat, propping my knees up against the glove box. “You
want
me to date both of you?”

“It’s still so new. I mean, I didn’t even know I wanted to kiss you until forty-eight hours ago. We should figure it out before you make any decisions. I don’t want you to dump him or anything, because—”

“It’s funny,” I interrupt.

“What’s funny?”

“I always saw you as this self-absorbed, selfish person, and here you are trying to gift me to your brother.”

Olivia rubs her lips back and forth as if she just applied lipstick and is trying to even it out. “That’s not what I meant. I just want to figure this out … what we have. What we are to each other. The thing is, you really mean something to me, and I’ve never felt that way about anyone before. And it’s kind of scary and new and strange, and … let’s just figure it out before you do anything about Liam.”

“It’s not going to change the fact that I don’t feel anything real for him.”

“I know. But if you dump him it just … it makes what we have too … ”

“Overwhelming? Serious?”

“Yeah,” she says. “It just puts pressure on us.”

“Okay,” I say.
Pressure.
Something Olivia seems to have too much of as it is.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. But not just for him,” I add. “For you. Because I don’t want you to freak out about it.”

“Good.” Olivia flicks a glance over at me, her hands relaxing. “You look nice, by the way. I really like that shirt.”

I glance down at my lavender button-up. It’s a much lighter color than I normally wear, and it’s a soft satin. I found it in the back of my mom’s closet. It’s big on me, almost a shirt-dress, and I’ve paired it with black skinny jeans and my battered old converse.

Olivia’s wearing a dress with a short hemline, and with how she’s sitting, her thighs are exposed. I have a strong urge to reach over and rest my hand on her knee, but it feels too forward.

Too real
, and I don’t think she’s ready for that.

Soon we’re at the restaurant, and Olivia finds a side street with metered parking. After we put a little sticker on the window, we walk around the block, so close that we’re bumping shoulders. Once, our hands brush.

I want to grab her hand and intertwine her fingers with mine, but I don’t want her to pull away, and I’m not even sure I’m ready to do that in front of people, even if they
are
strangers. So I shove my hands into my jeans pockets instead.

The Lodge has huge wooden doors, which Olivia pulls open. She ushers me inside. It’s a few steps down into the place, and as my eyes adjust to the dim lighting, I realize it’s got a sort of sports-slash-hunting-lodge theme, with lots of natural wood and antlers, but not in a weird old way. More like an upscale ski lodge feel.

A hostess brings us to the back of the restaurant, to a U-shaped booth. We slide in at opposite sides but end up meeting in the middle.

“Your server will be right with you,” the hostess says.

I flip open the menu, suddenly nervous again. I didn’t really think about dinner that much when Olivia first asked, but abruptly I get the feeling that it’s too much. Too formal. Too official. It doesn’t even matter that we drove almost an hour, because it’s still us, together, on a
date
. Or what feels like one.

I’ve never been on a date. At least, not before I met Olivia.

And Liam. But with Liam it’s always just “hanging out.”

“I’ve been nervous all day,” Olivia says, as if she can read my thoughts. Maybe she’s just noticed the way I’m crossing my arms and raking in deep breaths.

“You don’t get nervous,” I say, but my own voice is a little squeaky and I giggle.

“I don’t normally. But you … this … I was nervous.”

“And now you’re not?”

“Now I’m not.” She squeezes my knee. I reach a hand under the table and rest it on top of hers.

“You know what’s funny?” I ask, glancing at the menu.

“What?”

“Sometimes when I’m hanging out with you, I remember how badly I wanted to be part of what you and Ava were. I thought you guys were so amazing. You wore the best clothes. Everyone wanted to be you. Including me.” I laugh a sad little laugh under my breath. “I guess I did get noticed by Ava, just not the way I’d planned.”