No One's Hero (Chadwell Hearts) (11 page)

Oh hell no! I don’t know what
that
was between us, but I’m not letting it go without a fight. I felt something, and I know damn well he did too.  I dart toward him, taking his face between both of my hands, and press my lips to Kevin’s. His jawbone is covered in a light coating of stubble, and it’s rough beneath my hands, which only works me up more. I don’t want kid-gloves and tenderness—not right now—though I know I’ll want it someday. Right now I just want raw and primal and real. I need to feel something unscripted, something reckless, and I’m sure that beneath his carefully controlled exterior, Kevin is exactly that. My breasts press against his rigid chest, and at first it’s like he’s frozen in shock, but then for just a moment he softens. His body molds to mine, his tongue flicks along my lower lip, tasting me, and I groan into his mouth.

I want more, but apparently he doesn’t. With deliberate care, Kevin is prying me off him, leaving me to look like a needy, rejected fool. Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to hang my head. It was worth a try, and I would have kicked myself for not taking the chance. I expected to get my heart broken in college—hell, maybe I even wanted it. But I didn’t think it would be in the first week. I’m struggling in my class and seriously considering drowning my sorrows over a boy—looks like I’m adapting to college life just freaking fine.

This. This is why I’m determined to hate him. No matter how much chemistry there is between us, he doesn’t want it, and hating him is better than lusting after him.

Blinded by my own shame, I weave through the crowd, making a beeline for our table. I don’t know if Kevin is behind me or not, and I don’t care one way or the other. Bodies are packed tightly around the bar and the tables in the seating area, and I constantly bump into other people as I push through. I discard apologies around me as I go, but my words are flat and as easily overlooked as the napkin that rests below the bright pink drink Megan pushes toward me back at our table. They might serve their purpose, but no one pays any attention. I wonder if Kevin knew when he warned me about the difference between being noticed and being cherished that it would be he himself who discarded me, along with my feelings.

“You look like you could use this,” Megan says, eyeing me sympathetically. She must see the confusion on my face, because she adds, “My brother is one of the bartenders here. He’ll give us whatever we want, as long as we don’t flaunt it.”

Regretfully, I shake my head, turning down the free drink. No matter how broke I am, and how much I’d like to drown my sorrows, I know damn well better than to take a drink offered that I didn’t watch poured myself. Angel would never forgive me if I didn’t heed her million warnings on the subject. It’s not that I don’t trust Megan, I just know it’s not worth the risk.

“That’s cool. Does he like it?”

“I think so, but to be honest we aren’t as close as we used to be. He’s more like my dad, where I’m more like my mom. My mom hates that he works here though, but I think it’s just because dad got the job lined up for him.”

I instinctively feel a presence at my elbow, and I turn, my face steeled against whatever battle is coming next in the ongoing war between Kevin and I—the one in which I don’t even know what we’re fighting for. But instead of Kevin, who I now see eyeing me from a few tables away, I find the blond boy from my dorm, the one who held the door for me the night we arrived. His hair is just as spiky, and something about his easy smile makes my heart flip-flop. He sets his own drink on the table without glancing down. His eyes seem to have locked on mine.

Megan clears her throat. “Lexi, you know Tanner, right?”

Know? Not really. Want to know? Absolutely. His looks are like the perfect blend of all-American athlete with a splash of dangerous, tattooed badass. I can’t decide if he’s likely to be wholesome or hell on wheels, but I think I’m okay with either. Maybe a bit of both.

He smiles, and there’s a hint of shyness to it. “I was hoping to find you here.”

“I’m not that hard to find. It’s not me who didn’t give out my room number.” I wink.

Tanner laughs, and it’s pleasant—hearty and natural. “I’ve got to keep some mystery alive, 232. Else how will I hold your interest? Once you find out I’m secretly a boring math major with 1.5 sisters and a dog, it’s sort of all downhill from there.”

“Ahh I see, you’d rather I suspect you’re really the leader of a local drug gang, sent to canvas the local college for easy prey.”

Tanner clutches his chest theatrically. “You flatter me, or maybe wound me. I’m not sure which yet. Really, I’m just his bitch. A glorified errand boy.” He winks, and across the table, Megan laughs a bit uneasily, catching my attention.

“Are you okay?” I ask, glancing at her half-empty drink. Is this her first of the night? She’s looking a little pale, like maybe her stomach’s upset or something.

She nods. “Oh, fine. Just don’t think the margarita agrees with me.”

“Best cure I know is to distract yourself; we should all hit the dance floor.” Tanner does a little shimmy-shake. “See, got to get jiggy-wit-it. Get your groove on.”

He sounds like a nineties throwback commercial, but I can’t help but laugh at his exaggerated moves, even as I’m worrying about Megan. Maybe I ought to get Kevin and we should take her home. She must see what I’m thinking, because she shakes her head and shoos me and Tanner toward the dance floor. “Go on. I’ll be fine, I’m just going to sit this one out. Charlotte and Wendy are already out there.” She points, and through the crowd I think I can make out two girls I vaguely recognize from the dorm.

I’m even more nervous with Tanner than I was with Kevin. I so don’t want to make a fool of myself. But the music is intoxicating, and before long I’m moving without thinking about it. Judging from the approving grin that spreads wide across Tanner’s face, revealing a blindingly handsome smile that’s almost too bright, I’m doing something right.

One dance leads into two, and then three. The gap between Tanner and me lessens with each new song, until there are mere inches between us. I feel sort of bad about not spending any time with Megan, but every time I catch her eye, she smiles and nods encouragingly. Still, I hate seeing her sitting there alone.

“So are you from around here?” Tanner asks, startling me, and I realize I must have spaced out. Where did Megan go? I no longer see her at our table, so I glance around the dance floor.

“No, I grew up a few hours north. How about you?”

“That explains why I hadn’t seen you before. I was sure if I had, I would have remembered. Megan and I went to school together not too far away.” Tanner’s hand, which had been resting lightly on my hip, dips lower, squeezing my ass.

Over Tanner’s shoulder, I roll my eyes at Kevin’s glare, and press closer to Tanner. He’s cute, easy to talk to, and if he wants to get a little grabby he’s got my green light. Besides, Kevin made it quite clear that he’s not interested. So why is there a tiny bead of guilt taking up residence in the pit of my stomach?

Megan taps me on my shoulder—where did she come from?—and I spin. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just had to use the little girls’ room. But I’m not feeling too well, so my brother said he’d give me a ride home. You good here?”

I take a step back, away from Tanner, giving Megan all of my attention. No matter how much fun I was having, the girl code—and the decent human being code—are clear. My friend who isn’t feeling well comes first, and I should be the one to take her home. “I can take you. Just let me get Kevin and we’ll go.”

She shakes her head. “No, really, it’s fine. My brother’s shift is over, and you looked like you were having fun.”

My gaze drifts between her and Tanner. At the front of the room, the DJ starts a new track. Tanner grabs my hand, trying to pull me close again. His breath is hot on my neck, coaxing me to let Megan go with her brother, while he and I heat up the dance floor.

“Are you sure?” Even if she is, I’m not. This feels wrong, and a scowl creases my forehead.

“Yeah—Uh oh. Someone doesn’t look happy.” Megan indicates the far side of the room, where Kevin’s been keeping a lonely watch over me, and his now-empty drink.

Kevin is on his feet and fury dots his brow. Too late, I realize my scowling expression must have given him the wrong impression: he thinks Tanner is somehow hurting or offending me. I sigh, preparing for the inevitable argument.

Megan pats my arm. “How about I head off the tiger before I go. Give you two a bit more time alone.” And with a wink she’s gone, effectively ending any further attempts from me to convince her to let me be the one to take her home.

“You know, we could get out of here. If you wanted, I mean,” Tanner talks fast, his eyes on the table where Megan and Kevin are now locked in animated conversation. I don’t know what Megan just said, but Kevin’s jaw ticks furiously, and without giving myself time to second guess my first choice, I nod. There’s no doubt in my mind Kevin’s mood is shot even more than it was earlier, and he’s going to be a nightmare to deal with. I just don’t want to face it yet—I deserve to have a night of fun. If I’m going to have to pay for it later by enduring another of his temper tantrums, I might as well do what I want.

Tanner’s face lights up, and I’m having trouble reconciling his boyish exuberance with his harder appearance. Who is this guy? My heart flutters nervously in my chest as he leads me by the hand toward freedom.

We’ve just reached the parking lot when I stop, hesitating as my conscience catches up with me. “Tanner, wait. Maybe we shouldn’t—”

Understanding fills Tanner’s warm eyes, but there’s also something else. Nerves, maybe. “If you don’t want to, I get it. No problem.”

“It’s not that,” I rush to explain. “It’s just that Kevin’s going to be really upset, and he’s just looking out for me. It’s sort of hard to explain, but things are a little crazy right now.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Tanner brushes my cheek lightly with his thumb while doing a poor job of masking the disappointment in his eyes. “I’ll walk you back inside.”

Tanner is being so understanding, and such a gentleman about this, it calms the butterflies in my stomach. I’m not being careless, I’m just living. Isn’t that what I came here to do?

“Screw it. Let’s go.”

—-♥—-

K
evin

I’m not sure what surprises me more: that Lexi kissed me, or that I stopped her. I just wanted to apologize for my bone-headed comment earlier, and somehow things spiraled out of control. I feel like I’m losing it. To protect her, I’ve got to take control of the situation and stop letting her send me spinning in circles. The constant reminder of past failures is a soundtrack playing in the background of our every moment together, warning me, telling me I’m getting too close. I’m slipping up, and I know it.

I just don’t know what to do about it. I think my determination to keep her at arm’s length, to make sure she doesn’t distract me from the job of keeping her safe, is distracting me more than anything else. It’s a constant fight, and fights take energy. There’s just something about her. It’s like her fierce determination to live, on her terms, calls to the part of me that died right along with Nuri. She’s everything I wish I was. I sigh, watching her on the dance floor with that tool who’s been eyeing her since the moment we arrived. He’s definitely got her attention now.

Each time he touches her, no matter how innocent, I want to break his fingers. And if Axel were here, that’s what he’d want me to do. But I don’t want to do it for Axel, or even to protect her. It’s pure jealousy, so I restrain it. I’ve got no right to be jealous, not after the way I just pushed her away.

Again.

So I’m over here watching while that bastard feels up my girl.

Wait,
my
girl? Where the fuck did that come from?

Obviously my loneliness has taken over my brain, trying to tell me there’s something here that there isn’t. It’s been too long since I’ve buried myself in a woman, and that’s all this is. Simple, normal needs. Unfortunately, being on babysitting detail makes it a little hard to slip away for a booty call, so I’m going to have to deal a bit longer.

I wrestle my attention away from my dick, back to the dance floor, where Lexi is scowling at Tanner. Wait, did I miss something? If he hurt her, I swear I’ll snap him in two. Primed and ready for a fight, I’m off my stool and striding toward them, when Lexi’s face relaxes. I force myself to slow. Maybe I misjudged things.

Or maybe she’s trying to hide something from me again, like the cut lock in the barn she thinks I don’t know about.

“Leave her alone.” The pain in the ass who talked Lexi into coming tonight blocks my way, her hands on her hips. “Can’t you just let her have a good time?”

I rein in my annoyance, only because I can see Lexi over Megan’s shoulder. She’s relaxed some, but is eyeing me worriedly. I take a deep breath, looking down at the girl before me. “I’m not here to protect her good time, I’m here to protect her life, and I’ve got no qualms about destroying anyone or anything that gets in my way, so don’t cross me.”

“Maybe it’s you who shouldn’t cross me. I don’t know what happened between you two tonight, but I saw her face when she came back to the table. You hurt her, and I don’t like it.”

Great, so Megan’s decided to take the protective, bitchy friend role. Her eyes flash with a fire I haven’t seen in her before, though, and gone is the friendly, lighthearted exterior she shows Lexi. “Remind me why I’m supposed to care what you like, again?”

“Because you aren’t the only one on a mission, and I fight dirty.”

My eyes snap up, over her shoulder, just in time to see Tanner leading Lexi out the door.

Of all the stupid things she’s done, this takes the cake. “Gotta go.” I move to step around Megan, but she moves with me, still blocking my path. I don’t have time for this shit, so I firmly put my hands on her shoulders, intending to move her aside.

Undeterred, Megan lets out a shrill shriek. It seems like only an instant and the bartender and a bouncer are at her side. Her voice trembles as she points at me. “He-he grabbed me. I told him I didn’t want to dance.” She turns large, vulnerable eyes to the dark-haired bartender, who shares Megan’s creamy, olive complexion.”