No Regrets (30 page)

Dan looked as if he was grinding his teeth. “Of course, if she wants one…”

“That's all right—” Tessa began.

“It's not all right.” Molly cut her off. She put her hands on her hips and looked up at the attorney. “I'm sorry, Ms. Britton,” she said, “but I'm very uncomfortable with this. I feel my sister should be represented by counsel.”

“No.” Tessa's voice was steady. Her eyes, as she met Dan's, were calm. “I trust Dan.”

Her frustration building, Molly was about to point out that Tessa had once trusted another Los Angeles policeman, too, and look where that had gotten her. But she knew, deep in her heart, that Dan Kovaleski was different. She also realized, from the way he was looking
at Tessa, that although he might be willing to use her to break this case, he wouldn't do anything to hurt her.

“The garden needs weeding,” she said. “I'll be outside.”

“We'll call you when we're done,” Dan said.

Molly turned to her sister. “If you have any problems, I'll be right out back.”

Tessa smiled at that. “Yes, Mother.”

It did Molly so much good to witness that teasing smile that, despite her lingering concerns, she smiled back, then turned to Dan. “You take care of her. Or I'll tell your father.”

His lips quirked and she watched the reluctant humor light up his golden brown eyes. “Yes, ma'am.”

Two hours later, Molly had pulled every weed in the tiny plot behind the condo that only an extremely generous person would refer to as a garden. She'd applied mulch and fertilizer, staked up the tomatoes, watered everything and was now pacing the small wooden deck, wondering what on earth they were doing in there.

Last night, Tessa had already shared the highlights—or lowlights, Molly thought grimly—of her life with Jason Mathison. Surely that was enough for a conviction? She couldn't imagine that Dan was forcing Tessa to go into every sordid little detail of the past seven years.

She kept glancing up at the window, wondering if she should make up an excuse to go back inside just to check on Tessa. She'd finally decided to do just that, when the door slid open and Dan came out.

“Sorry we took so long.”

“That's okay. Unless you and your sidekick brought out the bright lights and rubber hoses.”

“Nah. I'm saving those for Mathison.” The cold fury in his eyes frightened her. The last time Molly remembered witnessing it was when he'd been on the trail of a serial killer who had a penchant for blond little girls.

“You care about her, don't you?”

His answering laugh held not a note of humor. “Hell, Molly, she's a hooker, for Pete's sake.”

“She's my sister,” Molly warned softly.

“True.” He exhaled a long breath and dragged his hand through his hair. “Doesn't it bother you? What she's been doing for a living?”

“It's not my place to judge.”

He shot her a frustrated look. “Reece is right. Sometimes you really can be a pain in the butt, Sister Molly.”

“Reece said that?” The half-teasing words stung.

Dan grimaced at her hurt tone. “Hell, he didn't really mean it…. Well, maybe just a little,” he allowed. “When you were giving him a bad time about his choice of women, he got a little hot under the collar.”

“I merely pointed out that I didn't think having sleepovers with his daughter in the house was a very good idea.”

“You're probably right,” he said, surprising Molly who suspected he'd slept with more than his share of women. “But at the time Reece felt that it was difficult living up to your high standards.”

“I see.” She did. Only too well. Molly sighed as she realized that whenever he looked at her, Reece undoubtedly still saw Sister Molly. It was not an encouraging thought. Maybe Tessa was right. Maybe a makeover was in order.

Unfortunately, in order to compete with those ac
tresses he dated, she'd need more than a makeover. How about a complete overhaul?

“It wasn't really meant as an insult, Molly. We'd had a few beers and he was just frustrated because he'd been trying so hard to be a good father to Grace.”

And he'd succeeded. Despite a schedule that would exhaust most people, he managed to somehow juggle his work, his social life and Grace. Molly couldn't count the number of dance recitals and school plays she and Reece had attended. And while that might be expected, she also discovered that he—not the nanny—was the one driving his daughter to all those rehearsals.

“What happens next?” Molly asked. “With Tessa?” She didn't want to talk about her relationship—or lack of it—with Reece any longer.

“She goes in front of the grand jury on Monday.”

“Will the press be there?”

“No. It's secret. We should be able to get her in and out without anyone knowing. Then, I have no doubt we'll get an indictment. For pandering, money laundering, trafficking in a controlled substance, and murder, for starters.”

“Murder?”

Dan looked surprised. “She didn't tell you?”

“Obviously not.”

The anger was back in his eyes. His lips were set in a grim line that left deep ridges on either side of his mouth. “One of the other girls wasn't as fortunate as Tessa. She was killed. After she made the mistake of trying to blackmail Mathison.”

Molly felt her knees threaten to buckle. “You weren't kidding, were you?” she said, looking up at the bed
room window where Tessa had spent the night. “About Jason Mathison being a dangerous man.”

“That,” Dan assured her, “is putting it mildly.”

Molly was not surprised when Tessa brushed the subject of murder off. Frustrated, but not surprised.

“Dan says I'll be perfectly safe here,” she said. “And I believe him.”

As much as Molly was pleased about the faith her sister had in her new benefactor, she wasn't certain transferring her allegiance from one man to another was the best thing for Tessa. “Perhaps you should think about believing in yourself.” The moment she heard herself say the words, Molly cringed, remembering Reece's complaint about living up to her impossibly strict standards.

“I used to.” Tessa's laugh was bitter. “That's how I got into this mess in the first place. I was so damn cocky, I believed I could do anything. Including coming to Lotusland and not lose my soul.”

“You didn't lose it. It may be a little battered and bruised. But it's still there.”

Tessa shrugged. “Far be it from me to argue with a nun.”

“A former nun.”

Another shrug. “Whatever.” She seemed distracted. “What did you think of that D.A.?”

“Kelly Britton? I really didn't get to—”

“Do you think Dan is fucking her?”

“I think you'd have to ask Dan that.”

“There was something there,” Tessa mused. “They were too comfortable in each other's space. If they're not sleeping together now, they have in the past.”

It wouldn't have surprised Molly, but it was also none of her business. “Dan's a good-looking single man. I'd imagine any woman would be attracted to him.”

“They slept together,” Tessa muttered. “I just know it.” She turned around and pinned Molly with an angry look. “You think I'm jumping from the frying pan into the fire.”

“Not exactly.” Molly chose her words with care, not wanting to endanger this fledgling relationship she was establishing with her sister. And, although she had sensed something different about Dan, something that made her think he cared for Tessa more than he was willing to admit, she wanted to protect Tessa from getting hurt. “But I can't help worrying that the way Dan came to your rescue, like some white knight, you might be confusing gratitude—”

“That's not it.” Tessa dragged her hands through her hair. “It started before then. When he kissed me in the hotel room. I've never felt that way in my life before. It was like an epiphany.”

Molly didn't know what to say to that, so, deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, she didn't say anything.

“You want to know the funny thing?” Tessa asked with a sad little smile.

“What?”

“Even when I was handcuffed in the back of the squad car, when he looked at me in the rearview mirror, I knew I was lost.” She laughed at herself. At the ridiculous situation. “Imagine falling in love with a guy who busts you. God, I've got to be the biggest idiot in the world.”

“Actually, I think I've got dibs on that crown,” Molly murmured. “And besides, I've always thought loving Dan Kovaleski would be easy.”

Tessa was standing at the window, staring down at Molly's garden. “He deserves better.” When she turned around again, resolve shone in eyes surrounded by saffron and purple flesh. “Tessa Starr might have been a high-priced whore. But Tessa Davis was a lot better. I'm going to get her back. And then I'm going to give that snotty ice queen D.A. a run for her money.”

Molly laughed. “I think that's a wonderful plan.” She decided it was high time she made one of her own. “So, since Dan instructed us not to leave here until you testify, why don't you show me what to do with all that stuff he brought over in those flowered cosmetic bags?”

“You really want that makeover?”

“Unless you think I'm hopeless.”

“Oh, no!” Tessa looked like a little girl who'd just been invited to her best friend's slumber party. “This is going to be fun,” she promised. “And when we're done with you, Molly girl, Reece Longworth won't stand a chance.”

 

“Are you certain they're going to be okay there?” Reece asked, worried about Molly having taken Tessa into her home.

“There's no way Mathison can connect Tessa with Molly,” Dan assured him.

“He could have followed you.”

“He didn't. Besides, if he does any checking, he'll discover that Tessa Starr has jumped bail and bought a plane ticket to Denver.” He glanced down at his watch. “In fact, her plane should be landing right about now.”

“That's pretty good.” Reece lifted his glass in a salute.

“Thank you. We may not be hotshot Emmy-winning writers, but sometimes we real cops actually do come up with a few halfway decent ideas.”

“Speaking of ideas, Aaron West signed a deal for a new sci-fi outer-space series,” Reece divulged, naming the producer who'd hired him. “He suggested I replace him as producer on ‘Night Thrills.'”

“Head writer
and
producer,” Dan said admiringly. “It's obviously true. That little statue
is
pure gold. Congratulations.”

“I don't think I'm going to do it.”

“Why the hell not?”

“I don't know.” Reece shrugged. “I guess partly because I've never thought of myself as being part of the Hollywood crowd.”

“There's an Emmy in your library with your name on it that says otherwise.”

“I know. But I never planned to be a television writer. Hell, I kind of fell into the business when Theo took those damn stories to the guy. Then bang, the next thing I knew I had a new career.”

“She was just trying to help, Reece.”

“You don't have to soft-soap it. What she was trying to do was to save my life. And she succeeded. Beyond either of our wildest dreams.”

“But?”

“But something's been missing.”

“Like commitment?”

Reece shot him a look. “You're a fine one to be talking about commitment. When was the last time you took a woman out twice?”

“Actually, I was referring to the kind of commitment you give your work. Not the fairer sex,” Dan said equably. “You might have done a good job fighting it, but anyone who's ever watched you work knows that you were born a doctor, Reece. The same way I was born a cop, just like my dad. It stands to reason you'd feel incomplete out of the ER.”

“I don't know if
incomplete
's the word,” Reece mused. “I managed to convince myself that I was happy. After all, I have a gorgeous, bright daughter, friends, I live in one of the most beautiful spots on earth, I have a job half the people in this town would throw their dear old grandmothers under a bus for—”

“Make that two-thirds,” Dan broke in.

“At least,” Reece agreed. “But when Molly dragged me over to that house to take care of your informant—”

“Who coincidentally just turned out to be your long-lost sister-in-law.”

“Yeah.” Reece shook his head. “Talk about your small worlds. Anyway, it felt damn good to be practicing medicine again.”

“I don't suppose you told Molly that?”

“Are you kidding? And let her say, ‘I told you so'?”

As Dan laughed, Reece laughed with him. What he didn't say was that when he'd realized how he'd felt, Molly had been the first person he'd wanted to tell. But for some reason that he couldn't figure out, Reece had suddenly felt strangely uncomfortable with her.

But later that night, as he'd sat alone in the dark, nursing a single Scotch, he realized that somehow, when he hadn't been looking, the bond he and Molly had
shared from the beginning, even before that fateful day when Lena had burst into Mercy Sam's cafeteria, ablaze with pride and pleasure, had deepened. He was forced to admit that somehow, when he hadn't been paying close attention, his feelings for Molly McBride had become a great deal more than fraternal.

“W
ell, what do you think?” Tessa put down the slender lipstick tube, leaned back and studied her creation with a critical eye.

“I don't know.” Molly stared in bemused wonder at the vision in the mirror. “I don't look like myself.”

“Of course you do.” Tessa grinned. “You clean up real good, girl. Which only makes sense since all the McBride girls are natural beauties.”

The incautious words hovered in the air between them like a miasma.

“Aw, hell,” Tessa muttered. “Talk about throwing cold water on a great afternoon.”

“No, we
should
talk about Lena,” Molly insisted. “Otherwise it would be as if she had never existed. And you're right, she was gorgeous. She looked just like Mother.” Molly got up, walked over to the nightstand
and took out a photo of Karla McBride. And another of Lena.

“Oh, my God!” Tessa stared down at the dual photographs. “I saw her. A few years ago, on New Year's Eve. I remember thinking how stunning she looked that night.” She shook her head. “No wonder Reece looked familiar when he first showed up at the house. He was with her. I could tell they were head over heels in love, but they seemed to be having a serious discussion. And she looked nervous.”

“I remember that night.” Molly realized she'd definitely made progress when she could look back on those days immediately following the rape without emotional pain. “She was going to tell Reece all about how our parents had died. About Daddy shooting Mama. She was worried he wouldn't love her when he learned the truth about her background.”

Tessa laughed at that. “I saw the way he was looking at her. She could have told him she was the reincarnation of Ma Barker and it wouldn't have made a bit of difference.”

Molly laughed, too. What a gift her sister was! “That's pretty much what I told her.”

“It must be tough.” Tessa gave her a shrewd look. “Being in love with your sister's husband.”

“Oh, I wasn't in love with Reece then. Not that way,” Molly said quickly. Too quickly, she realized. Had she always been in love with him? she wondered. Just a little?

“He'd be an easy man to be in love with,” Tessa said sagely, repeating what Molly had said about Dan. “In any way. You'd better snatch the guy up, before some predatory actress gets her grubby hands on him.”

Molly truly wanted to. Oh, dear heaven how she wanted to. But…

“What would people say?”

“Why do you give a flying fuck?”

Despite her nervousness, or perhaps because of it, Molly laughed. “Well, no one can accuse you of beating around the bush.”

Tessa's expression turned serious. “A lot of women would do murder to have that man look at them the way Reece looks at you when you're not looking. He's mad for you, Molly. Even if he hasn't figured it out for himself. All he needs is a little nudge, and he'll fall into your lap like a ripe plum.”

“I can't.” Too unnerved to sit still, Molly stood up and began to pace.

Tessa's curse was brief and ripe. “If I'd known my big sister was a coward, I'd just have soon stayed an only child.”

Molly spun around and speared her sister with a lethal glare. The temper the nuns had tried to whip out of her flared as hot as the Santa Ana winds. “I'm not a coward!”

Tessa glared back. “Then prove it.”

Was it really so wrong? Molly asked herself as she met her sister's challenging stare. She wasn't bucking for sainthood. Why shouldn't she go after what she wanted?

“I wouldn't have the faintest idea how to seduce a man.”

A spark of satisfaction lit Tessa's green eyes. “Hell, it's not that hard, especially since men all want to be seduced in the first place. All you have to do is think sexy thoughts and follow your instincts.”

“I don't have those kinds of instincts.”

“All women do. It's in the genes. Believe me, you just have to loosen up and forget you were ever a nun. “There's nothing wrong with going after the man you love.”

Molly sighed. “I still think I'd end up feeling just like Mary Magdalene tempting Jesus.”

“For your information, Magdalene wasn't a whore, just possessed, and she never tempted the guy. You're not the only McBride sister with a Catholic education,” Tessa said with a toss of her head as Molly's expression revealed surprise.

“You don't have to drag Reece to bed, Molly. But what's stopping you from calling the guy and asking him out to dinner? Fortunately, we're the same size, since I doubt if you have any decent bait in your closet.”

With that single remark, she somehow managed to make Molly feel like a failure as a woman. Reminding herself that an attractive, intelligent man had once wanted to marry her, she tried not to be too hurt by Tessa's appraisal.

“I don't want to leave you alone.”

“I won't be alone. Dan'll be here.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“No. But I guarantee he'll come running when I tell him about my little black book.”

Molly's eyes widened. “You don't mean—”

“Honey, some of the biggest names in town are in that book. Including the police commissioner and mayor. Oh, and a local television anchorman known for his political ambitions.” Tessa's smile lacked humor. “I told you, our business was the cream of the Los Angeles elite.”

“This case will blow the city sky-high,” Molly predicted.

“That's the idea,” Tessa agreed cheerfully.

 

Molly was more than a little relieved when Reece agreed to meet her at a neighborhood pizza place.

“Is that the best you can do?” Tessa groaned. “How romantic can you expect a guy to get over pepperoni?”

“I don't expect romance. I'm just testing the waters.”

“That's probably what Jonah said before he was swallowed by that whale,” Tessa muttered as she went to take her turn on the phone.

Neither sister was at all surprised when Dan arrived within minutes of Tessa's phone call. Although he looked momentarily surprised by Molly's transformation, it was apparent that his mind was on his work.

“So, where is this alleged book?” he demanded, forgoing preliminary polite conversation.

“You are such a typical male,” Tessa complained dryly. “Always in a hurry. Keep your pants on, Officer, and I'll tell you everything. In good time.”

“I thought you already told me everything you knew.”

“Now that would have been foolish, wouldn't it? I had to be sure I could trust you before I brought in the heavy hitters. I also didn't trust that bimbo from the D.A.'s office.”

“She's not a bimbo.”

“Of course she is. Or were you too busy admiring her agile legal mind to notice the hickeys on her neck?” Before he could respond to that, she turned to Molly. “Didn't you say you had somewhere to go?”

“Well—” Molly twisted her hands nervously in front of her “—I did have plans. But they can be changed.”

“Don't worry,” Dan said brusquely, “I'll stay here with Tessa until you get back.”

“Scoot,” Tessa broke in before Molly could warn him she could be late. “I'm in good hands here with Officer Law and Order.” Having taken two of the Valium she'd managed to liberate from her bathroom medicine cabinet before they'd taken her to that clinic, she was feeling much more at ease with the grim-faced cop.

Enough so, that she couldn't help wondering if she ought to take a bit of her own advice. After that kiss they'd shared, Tessa had not a single doubt that sex with Officer Daniel Kovaleski would register at least a ten on her personal Richter scale.

And although he couldn't have behaved more professionally when he and that blond prosecutor were interviewing her, every so often, she had caught him looking at her mouth, a distant look in his magnificent gold eyes, as if he were still remembering her taste.

Oh, yes, she considered, as she kissed Molly goodbye at the door, pressing a condom into her hand, insisting that she take it—“just in case”—seducing the sexy vice cop would be a breeze.

 

Molly's heart was pounding so fast, she was certain she must be having a heart attack. Or at the very least a major league anxiety attack. What in heaven's name did she think she was doing, trying to seduce her sister's husband? Why had she allowed herself to take Tessa's advice?

“After all,” she said into the darkness as she drove to
her meeting with Reece, “if Tessa were any expert on love, she wouldn't have messed up her life so badly.”

Her younger sister might know a great deal about how to please a man. At least in bed. But love was something entirely different. Love was deep and abiding and ran as unceasingly as a river flowed to the sea. Love was constant. And in her case, inescapable.

Every nerve in her body was tingling. As Molly passed Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church, she considered stopping, then changed her mind. She'd always been able to find peace in her religion, but not tonight.

The unadulterated truth was that she wanted Reece. Truly, madly, deeply. She wanted him with every fiber of her being, and to pretend otherwise, particularly in the sanctity of the Church she'd served with all her heart, would be the epitome of hypocrisy.

Needing a private moment, she pulled into a nearly deserted parking lot, found a secluded spot far from the supermarket and cut the engine. Then leaned back and closed her eyes, willing her heart and her mind to calm.

Molly had always been able to pray anywhere, at any time; even in the chaos of the emergency room, private conversations with her God had always come easily. But it wasn't God she needed to talk with tonight.

“Oh, Lena,” she whispered, “I tried so hard to keep this from happening. I shut my mind to thoughts of him for so many years, because I knew how deeply you loved him. And how much he loved you. You were the sun his entire life revolved around, which was why his world shattered to pieces when you left it.”

Uncaring of the shadow and mascara Tessa had applied, Molly pressed the heels of her hands against her
closed lids. “But although I know it was not your choice, you did leave. And during these past years, as I've tried to fill the gap left in your daughter's—our daughter's—life, I fell in love with your husband.”

It was the first time she'd actually said the words out loud, and just hearing them made them so real. So inescapable.

“I never…ever…would have acted on those feelings if you hadn't…” She could not say the fatal word aloud. “If you were still alive,” she said instead. “But you're not, Lena, and although Reece professes to be happy dating a different woman every night, I know he's only fooling himself. He deserves more. A real home, with a wife who'll love him. A woman patient enough to wait until he realizes that he loves her back.”

Molly dropped her hands to her lap and blinked hard against the threatening tears. It was not a simple thing she was asking of Lena. Nor, she knew, would it be an easy matter to convince Reece that they belonged together. But, although patience had never been Molly's long suit, her love for him had become so much a part of her, that she had no choice but to try.

“Heaven help me, Lena, I want to be that woman,” she said softly, vaguely ashamed of her feelings, although she knew her sister undoubtedly already knew the secrets of her heart. “And I want you to know that I don't want to replace you…in either Reece's or Grace's heart. I just want the opportunity to build a life with them.” She hitched in a deep, painful breath then let it out with a shuddering sigh. “Because I love them both so very much…with all my heart and soul.”

Oblivious to the shoppers coming and going in the
parking lot, Molly kept her eyes closed and her heart open. Open enough that she could sense her sister's presence. The tension that had cropped up between them in the final years of Lena's life had vanished, and as a comforting warmth surrounded her, Molly knew she was in the presence of the woman who'd so lovingly cared for her during that anxiety-filled time after the rape, when she'd been carrying Grace.

Sitting there, alone in the dark, Molly felt Lena's love. And her permission.

“You aren't the only one who's been praying for Reece to be happy,” Lena's calm clear voice echoed in her head. “And I know you can make him happy, Molly. Which makes me so very happy.”

Although all the windows were closed, a faint breeze touched her cheek, like the caress of a hand, or petal-soft lips. “Take care of my darlings. The way you always took care of me.” The voice grew softer, a whisper now as it faded away, back into the ether. “Love them, Molly. The way you always loved me.”

Despite her best intentions not to cry and ruin Tessa's handiwork, the tears were in danger of winning when a sudden rapping on the driver's window pulled Molly from her reverie.

The elderly man standing outside the car was bathed in the spreading yellow glow of the shopping-center lights. His face, wrinkled from age and years of California sunshine, was etched with concern.

“Are you all right, miss?”

Molly lowered the window. “Yes, thank you.” She wiped away the single tear that had managed to escape and was trailing down her cheek.

“I thought you might be ill.”

“No.” She smiled reassuringly and felt the warmth left behind by her sister flow through her. “I was feeling a little unsettled, but I'm fine now.”

“Are you sure? I can go back in the store and have the manager call someone.”

“No,” Molly repeated. She had already spoken with the one person who could ease her mind. “Really, I'm fine. But thank you so much for caring.”

He seemed a bit embarrassed by her gratitude. “Well, since you're all right,” he mumbled, “I guess I'll be on my way. But a word of warning. Don't be so quick to open your door or window. It's not that safe for a young woman—especially one as lovely as you—on the streets at night.”