No River Too Wide (25 page)

“It never was just
you,
Taylor. Come on. She had me, your dad, my parents and, for a little while, even your mom. But beyond that, how good is it for Maddie to think she’s the center of your universe? Isn’t that a pretty big strain for a kid entering adolescence? Doesn’t she need to cut herself free to forge her own path? How easy will that be if she thinks she has to be front and center in your life?”

She hated to admit it, but Jeremy was making sense. And hadn’t she told herself all the same things?

“There
is
a guy,” he said. “I can tell.”

“Just somebody who asked me out, that’s all.”

“Want me to check him out for you?”

She had to smile. For all Jeremy’s bad-boy persona, Adam could probably wrestle him to the ground without breaking a sweat. “Thanks, but I’ll do the checking.”

“Good luck. I want the best for you.”

“Why? So I’ll get off your case?”

“That’s only part of it.”

He grinned again, and without considering, she pushed herself to her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Thanks for telling me I was hot.”

“Still are. I’m sure this guy has noticed, too.”

Maddie chose that moment to come barreling outside with her overnight bag and her books. “Jan helped me put everything together!”

“She’ll tell you all about Jan,” Taylor said. “You two have a good time, and please tell Willow I missed seeing her. Next time, for sure.”

They left in a flurry of goodbyes, and Taylor stood there well after Jeremy’s car pulled away.

“Hot,” she said finally, shaking her head before she reached for the doorknob. “Who knew?”

* * *

Jan was pouring water in the teapot when Taylor came in. She had made enough herbal tea for both of them, just in case.

“Maddie get off okay?” she asked.

“Jeremy wanted some time alone with her. He and his wife are going to have a baby, and he wanted to tell her in person. That man’s just full of surprises.”

From her expression, Jan thought Taylor was fine with the news. “Maddie will be happy. She adores Lottie. In fact, she and Edna want to be the Three Bears for Halloween, with Lottie as Baby Bear.”

“When did she tell you this?”

“When Harmony and I were getting her settled with her homework in the café.” She went to get cups and saucers, the honey bear for sweetening the tea, spoons.

“I can’t remember what I did without you. What
did
I do?” Taylor asked.

Jan just smiled. “I used to make Halloween costumes for my children every year. Once they were old enough for school, Rex didn’t want them going through the neighborhood begging, as he called it, and by then we were going to a church that didn’t believe in celebrating holidays, anyway. When they were little, though, I sewed a new costume every year and we took them to the mall to get treats. I kept them all, too, but they went up in smoke with everything else.”

“I’m sorry. Do you remember what they were?”

“Harmony always wanted a long dress, satin or velvet, something soft. So one year she was Sleeping Beauty, another Cinderella. A pink dress and a blue dress. Lots of froufrou, sequins, rhinestones, bows and ruffles, lace, the more the better. One year Buddy, my son, was Daniel Boone. I made him buckskin pants and a jacket out of suede. I even made a coonskin cap from fake fur.”

Taylor whistled. “That’s pretty elaborate.”

Jan perched on the stool beside her as they waited for the tea to steep. “I made all Harmony’s clothes when she was growing up. Rex was less likely to complain about the cost of fabric than buying off the rack.”

“I can’t sew two seams together, but Sam and Edna both love to sew. I just can’t imagine Sam having enough time to make a bear costume, and Edna’s good but she would need help. I’m going to strike a blow for something simple like ghosts or zombies. Aren’t zombies big this year?”

“I could help them make the costumes. Do you have a sewing machine?”

“That would be a waste of good money.”

“I can still help.” Jan considered her next words carefully and decided they were true. “I’m pretty good.”

Taylor had just lifted the top off the teapot to check the progress, but she put it back in place and faced the other woman. “I think that might be the first time I’ve heard you say something good about yourself. You must be fabulous if you feel comfortable saying it.”

Jan realized what Taylor said was true. In recent memory, when had she praised herself? When had she admitted she could do something right, even well?

“Maybe it was the class tonight.” She smiled as she thought about that. “I’m already brimming with courage.”

“It wasn’t easy for you, was it?”

Jan shook her head. Whether Taylor meant the class or the admission that she was a good seamstress didn’t matter, because both had been difficult.

“Adam’s splitting the class,” Taylor said. “Those who are a little quicker will go on Wednesdays from this point, and those who need a bit more help will stay with Thursday.”

“I’ll be in one class, and you and Harmony will be in the other,” Jan guessed out loud.

“You’re okay with that?”

“He’s a good teacher. I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t know the story of every woman who was there tonight, but for somebody like me, the class is pretty straightforward. We practice defending ourselves against something that may never happen. It’s good exercise. It’s smart. But it doesn’t feel urgent or even important. It must have felt different for you tonight.”

Jan poured the tea before she spoke. “For me? For me, Taylor, it felt like the end of one world and the beginning of the next.”

“For very different reasons it felt that way for me, too,” Taylor said.

As if on cue, the two women held their teacups in the air and clinked in toast. “Here’s to Adam Pryor,” Taylor said, “and to taking back our lives.”

“One day at a time.”

They drank to that.

Chapter 20

Like many teenagers Taylor had rebelled against her mother’s attempts to rule her life by following as few of her decrees as possible. This meant a messy room and a messy life. As a young unwed mother, though, she had quickly learned she couldn’t parent a premature baby, with all Maddie’s attendant needs, without cleaning up her own life first. So the disorganized teenager quickly turned into a young woman who believed there was a place for everything.

Which was why on Sunday afternoon, without even looking, she was able to thrust her hand into the correct section of her closet and know that any long-sleeved shirt she pulled out would be perfect for a hike with Adam. No fuss, no soul-searching. Just stick in her hand and...

Taylor looked at the shirt she’d snagged. Pea-green and possibly even a little short at the cuffs. A shirt she’d meant to give to charity in hopes that somebody who needed one had shorter arms and a complexion the color flattered. Because the shirt certainly didn’t flatter her.

She realized this exercise could, in theory, go on all day. She would blindly thrust in her hand, grab a shirt and decide, for whatever reason, that it wasn’t the right one. Despite a life that hadn’t lent itself to attracting men, she was no different from any other woman. Today she wanted to look nice on her date with Adam, so she might as well admit it.

Five minutes later she settled on a cotton knit the color of amethysts, with lavender stitching and buttons that matched the lavender tank top she had slipped on beneath it. When she’d inherited her mother’s jewelry, she set aside most of it for Maddie and passed a few pieces to Harmony, but she had kept the things she knew she might wear, including amethyst studs and a short silver chain with tiny amethysts strung along the length of it. She tried them both now, decided they were still simple enough for a hike and silently thanked her mother for her excellent taste, something she had never done when Charlotte was still alive.

She pulled on her most comfortable jeans—which also happened to fit best—and dark blue hiking boots. The next part was hardest. Normally she wore little if any makeup. When was there time to apply it? Today there
was
time, but she was curiously reluctant to primp. What did that say about her interest in a man she hardly knew?

“Are we getting the anxiety out of the way before the man arrives?” she asked herself in the mirror. “Because you know, don’t you, that this is really, really lame?”

She compromised by using a little blush, a little mascara, a little lip gloss. When she’d finished she looked nice but not substantially different, which was what she’d hoped for. Then she went to see what Jan was up to in the kitchen.

“You look so pretty,” Jan said, followed closely by, “I won’t be here for dinner.” Vanilla, who wanted to catch a nap in the middle of the kitchen floor, flopped onto Jan’s feet, and she leaned over to pet her.

Taylor wasn’t sure she liked the sound of that, and she wasn’t oblivious to the sudden absence of eye contact. Maddie gone. Now Jan. “Why? What’s up?”

“Rilla has a friend who repairs and sells cars, so she’s taking me to his house to look at a couple he’s got. He insisted it had to be tonight.”

Taylor thought the timing was a little strange. Sunday nights most parents were busy getting their kids set for the rest of the week. She had a feeling Rilla’s timing might have more to do with Taylor’s date with Adam than with the car guy’s schedule. She imagined that Jan had enlisted her help.

“You’re sure you’re not coming back in time to eat?” she probed.

Jan shook the dog off her feet. “No, we’re leaving just about dinnertime. Rilla says we’ll grab something quick on the way.”

Taylor was sure Rilla hadn’t seen the inside of a fast food restaurant in two decades and wasn’t about to start tonight, but she played along. “You’ll miss my famous black bean burgers.”

“I’ll have to take a rain check.”

Someone rang the front doorbell, and Taylor froze.

“Would you like me to get it?” Jan asked when Taylor didn’t move.

“Whose idea was this?”

“Didn’t you say it was Adam’s?”

“But I said yes.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“You of all people know the answer. What if he’s really a jerk?”

“Then you’ll figure that out today and say no next time he asks. You’ll be watching and listening, right? You won’t make excuses for bad behavior.”

“It’s like I’ve been in a time warp. Most women my age have probably been on a thousand dates. Two thousand.”

“You won’t be going on this one if you don’t hurry up.”

The bell rang again. “This is stupid. I’m being stupid.” Taylor lifted her chin and strode across the room to throw open the door.

“Hey, Adam,” she said casually. “Right on time.”

His eyes lit up at the sight of her, and the corners of his mouth turned up, as if he liked what he saw. “Why would I be late? I looked forward to this all morning.”

She wondered what exactly he’d been looking forward to. Hiking? A home-cooked meal? Being with her? She remembered Jeremy’s words, and she felt her cheeks heating. She, who never had time to blush.

“I’ve got a day pack with snacks,” she said, turning away. “Do you have a water bottle?”

“On my belt.”

She hadn’t noticed because she hadn’t let her eyes travel that low. But she
had
noticed he was wearing a blue V-neck knit shirt that matched
his
eyes. She wondered if he knew how perfect that was, or if he’d just grabbed the shirt on sale somewhere, the way her father would have. Jeremy would have chosen carefully. Adam? A mystery man.

He stepped inside and greeted Jan, and they exchanged a few pleasantries as Taylor got the pack.

“There’s a nice hike not too far out of town,” she said as she slipped the pack over her shirt.

“Where’s Maddie?”

“Off with her dad for the weekend. He’ll drop her off tonight.”

“I thought he lived out of town.”

“He’s just here for a few days.” Taylor straightened and realized she was ready. She hesitated.

“You two have fun,” Jan said, as if she realized she needed to fill the gap. “Watch out for bears.”

“Are you afraid of bears?” Taylor asked Adam.

“Anybody with good sense is afraid of bears.”

She was glad he hadn’t pretended he was so brave he didn’t have to worry. He was sensible and honest. She liked that in a man.

“I would take Vanilla to scare them away, but she’d just try to make friends.” The placid golden doodle wagged her tail, as if that was part of her job, and went back to sleep.

“That’s a pet, not a guard dog.”

Taylor joined him at the door. “She could probably use a few self-defense lessons.”

“I bet you like her just the way she is.”

“Sorry to say, but yes. She was the runt of the litter and my mother’s favorite.”

“Your mother raises dogs?”

“I’ll tell you all about it.”

* * *

She did tell him. Adam was surprisingly easy to talk to, and they chatted intermittently for the first hour. She told him about Charlotte, their estrangement after Maddie’s birth, their reunion right before Charlotte died. She told him how Harmony and Charlotte had met, and how Charlotte had helped Harmony during her pregnancy. She didn’t explain that part of the reason for inviting Jan into her home had been to offer the same kind of help to Harmony’s mother. She didn’t mention Jan at all, and Adam didn’t bring up the subject.

He didn’t talk much about himself, either.

The hike she’d chosen was steep, and they chatted less during the last half hour as they made their way up the steepest part of the mountain to the view she’d wanted to share.

“What do you think?” she asked, stopping to perch on a rock thoughtfully placed by Mother Nature at the best spot to see the vista of mountains beyond them and the wisps of clouds that frosted them. Up this high the leaves were already touched with orange and yellow, and in a few weeks the mountain would be alive with hikers who wanted to be right in the heart of the fall colors. Today, though, they’d nearly had the path to themselves.

“I can see why you never moved away.” He lowered himself to the rock beside her, their hips brushing.