No Second Chances (16 page)

“Cole …”

“I want to get to know you, every part of you, and this is a part of you now.”

I released his hand and he moved lower, getting to know the new landscape of my body.

He lowered his head and kissed my stump, and I held back a sob.

“You know,” he said, one corner of his lips tweaking, “I think I love this part of you even more than the rest.”

I blinked. “Why? It’s ugly.”

“No. You have this because you lived. You sacrificed your leg, but that meant you were able to come to home, to me. If this hadn’t happened, maybe we’d never have found our way back together again.”

Could I let myself believe that? Everything happened for a reason. But no, the soldier I’d been with that day hadn’t died for a reason. Life was cruel and heartless, but sometimes we needed to focus on the good parts, however hard they were to find among the rubble.

Cole’s attention left my legs and moved back up my body. He looked at me with a hunger in his eyes. “Now, where were we?”

Feeling braver, I took his hand and placed it over the front of my panties. “I think about here.”

He grinned, the desire in his eyes deepening. “Sounds good to me.”

We wriggled down the bed together, to lie side my side. I reached for the front of his jeans, and was pleased to discover the sight of my limb had done nothing to make him lose his erection. The length and shape of his cock pressed tight against the denim, and I stroked him firmly. His hand slipped inside my underwear, fingertips raking through the patch of tight curls to find the fleshy bud, making me gasp. Then his fingers parted my lips, found me already wet for him. He pushed one finger inside me, and then a second, and finally a third so I felt like I was impaled on his hand. My back arched and I pressed down on him, feeling so impossibly full. With frantic need, I tugged at the button of his fly and then unzipped him. His erection met my hand, so long and hard, his skin silky soft and hot beneath my palm. The scent of male musk filled my nostrils, so achingly familiar, and once again my mind blurred, taking me back to when we’d been young and discovering each other for the first time.

Cole shucked the jeans from his hips, toeing off his boots and socks, and kicking the whole bundle off the bed. He was commando, and gloriously naked. I wanted to feast on him, to lick and taste and nibble every inch of his skin.

His erection, so long and hard, drew me. I wriggled down the bed, dislodging his hand from my underwear. I took him in my mouth, inhaling the scent of him. I slid my lips up and down his length, reached out to take his balls in my hand and gently squeezed. The smooth bell of his cock head hit the back of my throat and I swirled my tongue around him as I bobbed back and forth. His breathing grew ragged, his hand knotted in my hair.

“Gabi …” he gasped. “Not yet. I want to be inside you.”

I craved to taste his cum again, wanted more than just the salty pre-cum which coated my throat now. I was greedy for him. But I also wanted to give him what he desired.

I realized I hadn’t been prepared. “I … I don’t have anything …”

“Ah, shit.”

Then I remember my wash bag. I was sure I still had a couple of old condoms in there. I just hoped they were still in date. I instructed Cole, and he jumped off the bed, completely naked, to grab the wash bag. I admired his ass as he walked, the strong, lean lines of his thighs. He truly was a beautiful sight, and my heart skipped.

He was mine.

He found the bag and checked inside and then pulled out a couple of condoms.

“Check the date,” I hissed, realizing the fact they were ancient showed how bad my love life had been over the past few years. Cole checked and grinned. “We’re good.”

Standing at the end of the bed, he took his cock in his hand and masturbated himself slowly. It was an erotic sight, this big, tattooed man with his erection pumping in his fist. He tore open the condom packet with his teeth, and, with my eyes glued to him, he rolled it down the length of his dick.

Oh. My. God.

Hurriedly, I rid myself of my panties, rolling them down my thighs and flicking them to the floor.

Cole crawled back over me, pulling the cups of my bra from my breasts and drawing my nipple into his mouth. I wrapped my thighs around his hips, lifting my bottom, wanting him to impale me. I clutched at his back, trying to pull him down, but he was teasing me.

“Not so fast, Gabs.”

He took hold of my arms and pressed them over my head, pinning my hands onto the pillow. Holding both my wrists in one of his hands, he reached between our bodies with his other hand and positioned himself at my entrance. A lift of my hips this time brought us together, and Cole thrust downward, penetrating me with one smooth, firm stroke.

I cried out, my back arching. I wanted to touch him, to claw my nails down his back, but he held me writhing and gasping beneath him as he thrust into me again and again.

Our movements grew faster, almost angry. I cried out his name as I exploded around him, my eyes squeezed shut, every muscle tensing as pleasure rippled through my body in waves, again and again.

Seconds later, Cole thrust hard and held himself deep, and then pulled out and thrust again. He lowered his face to my throat, his body shuddering, and finally released my hands so I could wrap my arms around him and hold him tight.

“You have no idea how much I missed that,” he said and kissed me again.

I nuzzled my nose and mouth against his hair and skin. It felt so good to be able to immerse myself in the scent and taste of him again. I remembered how I’d always slept with his sweatshirt.

I do know,
I thought,
I know exactly how much.

Chapter Twenty-eight

Cole - Eleven Years Earlier

I knew something
was wrong as soon as I approached the garage where we met for band practice. No sound was coming from inside the walls, and normally, if the guys weren’t jamming already, there would at least be music blaring from the stereo.

I hadn’t wanted to go to band practice without Gabi, but she had an algebra test the next day to study for, so was spending time holed up in her room. I’d offered to hang out in her bedroom and quiz her, but she’d told me I should go and spend some time with the guys. I knew I shouldn’t be disappointed, but I felt like I was addicted to her in a way, wanting only to spend time in her presence. If she wasn’t with me, it felt like a piece of me was missing, yearning to get back to her. My body needed to be in some kind of contact with hers at all times, and I’d have kissed her all day if she’d let me. But I loved practice as well, and I couldn’t let the guys down. The band had meant everything to me before Gabi had entered my life, and I was aware that I was letting it take second place.

Besides, I knew what Ryan would say if I said I didn’t want to go because Gabi wouldn’t be there. The usual kind of taunts would emerge—pussy-whipped, under the thumb, blah, blah, blah. Mike and Adam would join in and I’d be leaving with my tail between my legs. I didn’t want them to think that of me. I had a reputation I needed to uphold, and acting like a pussy was never going to keep me safe. If you showed any weakness in my world, it was guaranteed you’d end up with your ass handed to you.

I swung the garage door open to find Ryan, Mike, and Adam all standing in a circle, their heads together as they discussed something that appeared important. They stopped talking as I walked in and looked my way.

“What’s up?” I asked, frowning.             

“Hey, Cole,” said Ryan. “We were just talking about you.”

Uh-oh.

I tried to appear nonplussed. “You were?”

“Yeah, no biggy. We were just wondering if we could make use of your truck again.”

“My foster family’s truck,” I corrected.

He waved a hand, as though to dismiss my concerns. “Whatever. We need to move something, and right now you’re the only one who has access to a vehicle.”

I looked between them. “None of you do?”

Ryan shook his head. “Nah, my car’s still in the shop, and Mike’s just lost his license for a DUI.” Mike gave an apologetic shrug. “And Adam is a pussy who never learned to drive.”

“Hey, dude!” protested Adam, punching Ryan on the arm.

Ryan just laughed.

“So anyway, you’re the only one who has access to wheels and we need your help. There will be some cash in it for you.”

That piqued my interest. “How much are we talking?”

“Five hundred bucks.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Five hundred? How far are we moving the equipment?”

“That’s the thing, it’s not equipment exactly.”

“It’s not?” A sense of unease settled in my gut.

“No. We’ve got some guys who are after a decent amount of weed. We can get our hands on it, but now we don’t have any transport, we’ve got no way of getting it to them. Then your name sprang to mind, so we figured we’d ask you first.”

My lips twisted. “I don’t know, Ryan. That’s not really my thing.”

“It’s no big deal. Just a bit of weed. You drive for an hour, meet my guy, hand it over, and you get five hundred dollars in return.”

Most people smoked grass these days, and even though I didn’t myself that often, I didn’t have any issues with anyone who did. Weed was practically legal anyway. I had to admit, the thought of five hundred dollars was tempting. I was only too aware of the fact I would be making my own way in the world in the scarily near future. Five hundred dollars would be enough to get me started. I’d be able to rent a room in town, and feed myself while I found other work. A couple of hours driving for that amount of money sounded like a good deal.

But I wasn’t a total idiot. To get that money, I was essentially drug running, even if it was only a bit of weed.

“I don’t know, Ryan. When do you need it moved by, and can I think about it?”

“We need it done in the next couple of days, so there’s not much thinking time.”

“I’d have to make sure I can borrow the truck, so I can’t give you a definite yes or no right now.”

“You can ask your fake dad tonight, though, can’t you?” he pressed.

“Yeah, I guess …”

Ryan huffed air out through his nose. “If you don’t want the job, just say so, Cole. There are plenty of other people I know who would gladly do it, and I thought you would be in need of the money, especially now you’ve got that little lady around to impress.”

My shoulders stiffened at the mention of Gabi. “What do you mean?”

“Well, not being funny or anything, Cole, but she’s a little hottie. At some point, she’s going to realize she can do better than a kid like you. I know her type. They tend to date older guys—guys who have their own places, their own rides, and money to treat her right.” He laughed and grabbed his crotch. “Plus us older guys can show a girl what it’s like to fuck a man.”

The other two laughed and punched each other.

I wanted to lay out all three of them, starting with Ryan, for talking about Gabi like that, but I knew I’d come out worse off. Plus, they had a point. I always wondered what Gabi saw in a loser-guy like me, who had no prospects, and whose own family hadn’t even wanted around. We always went to her house, as I didn’t want to invite her around to mine, and her dad didn’t exactly think much of me. With that money, I could start looking around at getting my own place.

“I’ll need to check I can borrow the truck,” I said, holding back my fury at Ryan’s comments about Gabi. “I’ll let you know if I can move the gear tomorrow.”

“Nice one,” Ryan said, punching me in the arm. “I knew we could count on you.”

***

I was able to borrow the truck without any problem, and so I told Ryan I would do the job for him. The whole time, I felt sick with nerves, but Ryan told me it would be easy. Just hand the bag over to the guy I was meeting on the other end, take the money from him, and get the hell back to Dodge.

Norburn, the town I headed to, was located a little over an hour away. By the time I got there, the guy was already waiting—a greasy looking guy who reminded me of Ryan. Not much was said. He took the bag, checking the contents—not that he could see much as it was all wrapped in brown tape; I’d already checked—and then handed me an envelope of cash.

I drove back to Willowbrook Falls, handed the money over to Ryan, who then gave me my cut.

It was quick and easy money, but it had left me edgy and nervous. For a couple of days afterward, I jumped at my own shadow and started snapping at Gabi. Though she asked me what was wrong, I could never tell her. Instead, I hid the money behind one of the wall panels in my bedroom and told myself I’d done it for the right reason. I had a matter of weeks, and I would be out of this house with nowhere to live. I’d had no choice but to do what Ryan had wanted.

Hadn’t I?

Chapter Twenty-nine

Cole – Present Day

As much as
I didn’t want to leave Gabi for a second, I had a shift at work which I couldn’t afford to miss. My hangover was long gone, cured in Gabi’s arms. A smile felt like it was permanently fixed to my face, and I held her tight, never wanting to let go.

We’d dozed together, talked, and kissed, and then made love again, slow and sensual. When I finally told her I needed to go to work, she groaned and buried her face against my neck.

“No, don’t go.”

I laughed and kissed her. “Believe me, I’d much rather be here with you than scrubbing out pots at Frankie’s grill. But I could do without getting fired right now.”

“Well, since you put it like that, I’d better let you go. Will you come back after your shift?”

“It’ll be late—early hours of the morning.”

She shrugged. “I’ll leave a key out for you. I’ll hide it under the mat, and you can let yourself in.”

“Are you sure? Won’t your dad mind?”

“We’re not seventeen anymore, Cole,” she said, smiling at me. Her crazy hair was tousled around her face, and her lips were slightly swollen from all the kissing we’d been doing. I felt myself growing hard for her, but I couldn’t fuck her again. I literally didn’t have time.

“Okay, I’ll come back when I’ve finished my shift.” It wasn’t exactly a difficult choice. Come home to Gabi in bed, or go back to my rundown rental to spend the night on my own. “But I should probably warn you that I’ll stink of grease and trash by the time I get back.”

She laughed. “I love grease and trash.”

“You’re weird, you know that, right?”

She hit me with a pillow. “Yeah, and you wouldn’t have me any other way.”

I loved how we’d fallen into the comfortable banter we always used to share. It was so easy, being with her again. I felt as though the last ten years had never existed. I could finally put all that time I’d spent in jail behind me and think about the future.

I leaned in and kissed her again. “I love you, Gabi,” I told her.

She smiled “I love you, too, Cole.”

My heart sang with happiness.

Not wanting to leave, I forced myself to dress, and drove home quickly to shower and change. I made my shift by a matter of minutes, receiving a glare from the manager as I slipped in and got to work. Nothing was going to spoil my mood that evening. I caught myself singing while I washed dishes.

Deano overheard and nudged Ben. “I’m going to bet Cole got laid last night.”

I just grinned. Though I would have loved to let them know it had actually been a couple of times this afternoon, I wasn’t going to screw and tell. As Gabi had pointed out, we weren’t teenagers anymore.

The hours dragged by, and I did my best to keep my mind off Gabi and focus on my job. It wasn’t easy, though, when all I wanted to do was remember every time my mouth touched her skin, and the feel of her fingers wrapped around me. On several occasions I found myself needing to spend longer standing at the sink while I forced myself to think of something else. I didn’t want to embarrass both myself and my colleagues.

Finally, the last of the customers finished their meals, and I was able to slip away, back to Gabi’s. Sure enough, she’d left her key under the mat, and I let myself in, listening out for her father, and wondering what he’d say if he saw me. I didn’t hear or see any sign of him, something I was thankful for. I’d never felt more like an eighteen-year-old again as I did sneaking up the stairs and tiptoeing into Gabi’s room. She lay in a bundle beneath her covers, her breathing soft and regular.

I shrugged off my clothes and climbed into bed beside her. She smiled in her sleep and rolled toward me. I slid my hands down the long line of her back to discover she was completely naked, and immediately my cock sprang to attention. I’d nipped into the men’s bathroom during my break and bought some new condoms to replace the old ones Gabi had made me dig out. I didn’t want to think about her reason for having condoms. I’d had enforced celibacy when I’d been behind bars, but I couldn’t have expected her to stay away from men. I couldn’t help the little surge of jealousy that rose within me at the idea of another man’s hands being on her, but I pushed it away. I would fuck the memory of any other man away from her.

Her skin smelled clean and of coconut body-wash, as though she’d spent the evening relaxing in a hot bubble-bath. She was warm beneath the covers, and I wanted to drown in her body heat. Ducking beneath the duvet, I kissed down her stomach, and then spread her legs, the covers over my head. I heard her murmur, “Oh, Cole,” as she realized what I was doing. I buried my nose in the small patch of curls at the apex of her thighs and then placed my mouth over her pussy. With my tongue, I drew a line down the crease of her slit, licking her open. Gabi moaned and wriggled in the bed, parting her thighs further and opening the sweet petals of her pussy to me. She tasted sweeter than any sort of candy that could be bought, and I drove my tongue deep inside her, feeling her inner muscles try to clamp around me and pull me deeper. Her breathing became ragged, her moans louder as she squirmed beneath my administrations. Sensing she wanted more, I replaced my tongue with my fingers, and concentrated my mouth on her clit, first licking her with long, strong strokes, and then flicking the little bundle of nerves faster.

“Oh, God, Cole,” she gasped.

I loved hearing my name from her lips once more.

She tugged on my shoulders. “I want you. Now!”

I wasn’t going to disobey her demand. I kissed my way up her stomach, lingered for a moment on her breasts, licking and sucking each nipple in turn, and then kissed her mouth. She’d be able to taste herself on my tongue, and the thought made me harder than I’d ever thought possible.

Quickly, I sheathed myself in one of the new condoms I’d brought, and then pressed open her thighs and sank my cock into her tight, wet heat. I didn’t think anything else in the world would ever feel better than being inside Gabi. She was my everything—the girl I had loved since I was seventeen years old, and the girl I planned on loving until the day I left this world. Being with her like this wasn’t just about seeking pleasure, it was about joining myself to her, about giving her a part of my soul and praying she would cherish that part of me as much as I worshipped her.

We moved as one, slowly at first, but gradually building until we clung to one another, sweating and panting, both climbing toward that final release. When we found it, I kissed her hard, swallowing her cries, inhaling a part of her as I gave her a part of me.

We fell asleep with whispered declarations of love on both our lips, holding each other so tightly it was as though we both feared someone would steal the other person away.

***

Over the next
week, we fell into an easy routine, with me only using my rented house to shower and change when I needed. Whenever I finished work late, I used the key Gabi had hidden to let myself into the house. Her father had gotten used to seeing me at the breakfast table, and when Gabi had asked him if he minded, he simply said that if having me around made her happy, then he was happy, too. Like Gabi, I turned a blind eye to his drinking. He was a grown man, and unless Gabi said she wanted something to change, it wasn’t my place to force things. We all had our demons. Some just had a tighter hold on us than others.

***

I left work
after my evening shift, planning to head back to Gabi’s as usual, to find someone waiting for me outside.

He stood, leaning against the outside wall of the diner, his arms folded across his chest. “Hey, Cole. Good to see you again.”

I scowled. “What are you doing here, Ryan?”

He pushed himself away from the wall to stand up straight. “Catching up with an old friend.”

“Bullshit.”

I hadn’t seen him since that evening at the diner, and so I’d assumed he’d just been passing through and I’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now, however, it was clear he had come here to see me.

Ryan shrugged. “Okay, maybe you’ve got me on that one.
I actually need your help with something.”

“I’m not going to help you with a single thing.”

He ignored me. “I need another man on a job. I’ve been let down at the last minute, and it’ll all fall apart if we don’t have someone else.”

“I’m not your guy, Ryan. Now get lost.” I turned away from him, intending on crossing the parking lot to head to my car, but Ryan continued to speak, calling over to me.

“I noticed you and sweet Gabi have been spending a lot of time together again.”

I froze, and slowly turned to him, fury rising up inside me. “You stay the hell away from her.”

He gave a nonchalant shrug. “Sure, if you come and help on this job. There will be a decent paycheck in it for you.”

“I don’t want any money from you—in case you’ve forgotten, that didn’t turn out so well for me in the end—and if you go anywhere near Gabi, I’ll fucking kill you.”

Ryan’s stance changed, his shoulders rounding, his upper lip lifting in a sneer. “You owe me, Cole. Don’t screw with me.”

My eyebrows shot up my forehead in disbelief. “
I
owe
you
?

“You messed up that run ten years ago, and now it’s payback time. If you don’t do what I ask, I’ll make sure your pretty girlfriend suffers the repercussions.”

Red descended on my vision, my blood pounding in my temples.

Without thinking of the consequences, I stormed up to him and swung my fist. My knuckles connected with his jaw and sent him stumbling. I didn’t stop there. I strode over to him, and dealt a kick to his side, so he rolled to the ground.

“I’m not some teenage kid you can push around anymore, Ryan. I dealt with a hell of a lot meaner sons-of-bitches than you when I was inside. You don’t scare me, you don’t intimidate me, and if you so much as breathe in Gabi’s direction, I will cut your fucking balls off and make you swallow them. Do you understand?”

His face was white, nostrils flaring. “You’re making a big fucking mistake, Cole. I was doing you a favor, offering you a way to make some decent money instead of working in that dump, and this is how you repay me.”

“Mistake? You’re the one who made a mistake coming anywhere near me. Because of you I spent ten years behind bars. I should have tracked you down and fucking killed you by now.”

“Don’t act like such a fucking victim. You knew exactly what you were doing.”

“I had no idea! I’d just turned eighteen, remember? I wasn’t exactly a drug lord.”

He crawled back on his hands and choked laughter. “No, you were a stupid kid who thought too much of himself.”

I couldn’t help myself. I pulled back my boot and kicked him again. He gave an
ouff
of breath exploding from his lungs, and he coughed and curled in on himself.

“Oh, you’ve made a big fucking mistake, Cole” he gasped. “You have no idea who I am.”

“I know exactly who you are. You’re the guy who should have been behind bars for the last ten years.”

Resisting the urge to spit on him, I turned and walked away.