No Second Chances (9 page)

Chapter Fifteen

Cole – Present Day

On the morning
of Gabi’s hospital appointment, I arrived at her house a half hour earlier than needed. I’d been ready to leave by eight a.m., and had done my best to make the hours go faster, but still I’d left way too early and then driven around town with the radio on loud. Despite driving to the opposite side of town, I’d still ended up sitting outside of her house stupidly early.

I was nervous, and maybe that was stupid, too.

Once upon a time I’d known this woman—though then she’d been a girl—even better than I’d known myself. I’d held her when she’d been sad, and brushed away her tears with my fingers. I’d fought with her when she’d been angry, and laughed with her when she’d been happy. I’d kissed her mouth, and her eyes, and run my tongue over every inch of her skin.

Yet here I was now, nervous to even sit in the same car with her.

I wondered if she’d forgotten about my offer to drive her to her appointment. Perhaps I was being ignorant again. I hadn’t thought that she might need specialist transport if she was back in a wheelchair because of her injury. I didn’t know how these things worked, and now I wished I’d asked the right questions instead of pulling the macho-hero stunt with her and all but bullying her into allowing me to come. I was in unknown territory, and I didn’t like it.

The front door opened and Gabi appeared, wearing her prosthetic, but aided by a pair of crutches. Her corkscrew brown curls were wild around her face, and she wore a maxi-dress, which covered her prosthetic leg, but showed off her cleavage. God, she was so fucking beautiful, always had been. No missing limb would ever change that for me.

Immediately, I threw open the driver’s door and jumped out to help her, but she’d juggled both the crutches, her purse and the front door, and turned to face me with a smile. “Just how long were you planning on sitting out here?” she said.

“Not long enough to get the courage to come and knock,” I admitted.

Gabi frowned. “What are you nervous for? I’m the one with the appointment.”

Her words made me realize how different our head-spaces were now. While I was worrying whether she was ever going to want to see me again, she was worrying about whether or not she would be able to walk.

Fuck, I was such a shallow bastard at times.

“How’s your dad” I asked instead, wanting to change the subject.

She shrugged. “Much the same. Seems no worse for his experience, apart from maybe a bruised ego.”

Gabi headed to the passenger side of the car. I nipped around quickly to open the door for her.

She lifted her eyebrows at me. “I’m capable of opening a car door, Cole.”

“I know that. I’d still open the car door for you whether you were on crutches or not.”

I thought I saw a hint of a smile on her lips, but I didn’t want to push my luck.

She got in the car and I took the crutches from her and slid them across the back seat. I slammed the door shut and then got back behind the wheel and pulled the car out into the light traffic.

“How has your … leg been?” I asked as I drove.

She glanced over at me. “It’s okay, you can say stump. That’s what it is.”

“Okay … stump.” The word sounded ugly and awkward from my lips.

“It’s been all right,” she said, answering my question. “I think getting the ice on it so quickly really helped, so thank you for that.”

I gave her a smile. “You’re welcome.” I hesitated, wanting to ask her something, but not wanting to upset her. But my curiosity got the better of me. “What happened to your leg?”

I glanced over at her, but she stared directly ahead. For a moment, I didn’t think she was going to tell me, but then she started to speak, her voice remaining even throughout her story.

“It was a bomb in Iraq. A car drove directly toward me and a soldier I was stationed with. I thought the vehicle was most likely driven by a bitter local who wanted to mow us both down. I pushed the other soldier out of the way, and shot the driver, but it made the car veer off course, toward the soldier I was with. I thought the car was still too far away from us to cause any damage, but as soon as it hit the wall of the building where we were on lookout, the vehicle exploded. Turned out there were explosives on board. The soldier I was with died. He was the father of a newborn baby girl. I escaped with only the loss of my leg.”

I tried not to let my shock show on my face. Of all the possibilities I’d considered, for some reason Gabi being a veteran had never occurred to me. Was it just because she was woman? If she’d been a man who had returned to town with a missing limb, I thought that would have been the first thing that would have jumped into my mind. Or was it just that I’d never considered the sweet, bookish girl I’d fallen in love with would have ever joined the Army? A wave of guilt washed over me. Had she enlisted just to get away from me? Was he missing limb ultimately my fault?

“I’m so sorry, Gabi,” I managed to say between the barrage of thoughts jumbling around my head.

I couldn’t even imagine the things she’d been through.

“I should have pushed him the other way,” she said. “He’d still be alive then.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” I said.

She shook her head. “You weren’t there.”

For once, I was at a complete loss for words.

Within ten minutes we reached the hospital, and Gabi hooked a blue disabled parking placard onto the rearview mirror of my car. She seemed to have shaken off the morose atmosphere which had settled over her during recounting the events that had led to her injury, and she flashed me a smile.

“Not many perks of losing a leg,” she said, “but that’s one of them.”

“I hadn’t considered a parking placard to be a perk before.”

“Well, they are. I also lost about eight pounds in one go, so there’s that, too.”

My eyebrows shot up my forehead, and she laughed and pushed her hair from her face. “Got to look at the bright side of things.”

That was my Gabi, right there. The girl I remembered—fun and feisty, and incredibly sexy. A sudden urge to plunge my fingers into those tight curls and kiss her hard took over me, but I didn’t want to ruin the delicate bridge of friendship we’d created.

“Thanks for letting me drive you today, Gabs.” I risked reaching out and touching her hand, but she pulled away from me.

Her brown eyes studied my face, and a couple of faint lines appeared between her eyebrows. She didn’t appear angry, more curious. “What’s your game plan here, Cole? Why do you even want to drive me? Is it a guilt thing?”

“No, of course not. I mean, I do feel guilty about what happened between us …”

“Nothing happened between us,” she said, quickly. “We were young, and clearly you were stupid.”

I couldn’t argue with her.

“Don’t worry,” she said, “it’s not like I think you’re going to hit on me, or anything.”

Her words surprised me. That was the exact thing I thought she might have been worried about.

“You’re not?”

She laughed but there wasn’t any humor in the sound. “It’s not like I’ve got men lusting over me these days. I mean, no one wants a woman who only has one leg.” She snorted. “Actually, that’s not true. You wouldn’t believe the number of guys who have a thing for amputees, but honestly, I’m not interested in being someone’s fetish.”

My mouth dropped. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“Nope. They’re a real pain in the ass, especially with social media these days. They stalk the forums and befriend any young woman who fits the bill. They even pretend to be amputees themselves to try and create a bond with real amputees. They’re known as devotees. ”

“I had no idea.”

She shrugged again. “Why would you?”

We got out of the car and made our way to the assisted mobility department in the hospital. I lurked awkwardly as Gabi let the receptionist know she was there.

“You can wait in the car,” she told me, after the receptionist had told her to take a seat. “Or go and grab a coffee. I’ll probably be a little while.”

“I’m happy to wait.”

She shook her head. “I need to do this on my own.”

“Oh, right. Sure. I’ll see you back by the car, then?”

Gabi gave me a small smile. “See you in a while.”

I turned and walked away, my stomach in knots, feeling like I’d just been dismissed.

Chapter Sixteen

Gabi – Present Day

Watching Cole’s broad
back as he walked away, I tried not to let myself think about how he hadn’t argued with me when I’d said no man would want a woman with one leg. Why had I been expecting him to?

It was a stupid and insulting thing to say anyway—there was no reason why someone who’d become an amputee would suddenly become undesirable. I felt sick and guilty that I’d allowed my own insecurities taint other people. What I had meant to say was that
Cole
wouldn’t want me now I was missing my leg.

I didn’t know why I kept letting myself think there might be something more between us. Was it just because of how close we’d been in the past? I wished I could stop thinking of him like that. No matter how many times I reminded myself of how badly he’d hurt me, and of the fact I would never let him see my stump, or that he would even
want
to see my stump, my heart kept longing.

Movement came at the door of my doctor’s office and I glanced up.

“Ms. Weston,” said Dr. Merryweather, “do you want to come through?”

Using my crutches, I got up and followed him through to his office. He gestured for me to take a seat opposite him, which I did.

He crossed one leg over the other and leaned forward slightly, nodding at my crutches. “So, Gabi, how have things been since last week? Problems?”

I was almost tempted not to tell him about my fall, just in case he refused to fit my new leg because of it. Even if he couldn’t see any damage, he might decide it was better to leave it for another week or two. But I couldn’t risk
not
telling him. The idea of infection and a new amputation terrified me more than anything else. I also had the crutches with me. It wasn’t that I really needed them to walk, more that I hadn’t wanted to put any unnecessary pressure on my stump without having to resort back to the dreaded wheelchair. I hated that thing.

“It’s not been great,” I admitted. “I had a fall, and the prosthetic felt like it went one way, and my stump the other.”

He winced. “Doesn’t sound good.”

“I got some ice on it right away, and elevated it. I haven’t had any more pain since.”

“You shouldn’t have been wearing your prosthesis at all,” he chided me.

“I know, but it felt okay. If it hadn’t, I wouldn’t have worn it, I promise.”

“Okay. Well, let’s take a look.”

I sat with my remaining foot on the floor to steady myself, and removed my prosthesis. Dr. Merryweather edged closer, frowning slightly as he inspected my stump. My heart lodged in my throat, dreading what he was going to say. To distract myself, I glanced around his office, noting the posters on the walls advertising different prosthetics. In particular, my gaze landed on one which asked if I’d ever served in the United States Army. Just seeing the words made my heart thump, and I averted my eyes. I knew I was lucky my injury was funded from the government, when many others would have to use insurance, or even worse, lose their homes to pay, but I couldn’t stand to even see the poster.

Within a minute, I became aware of the weight of my residual limb pulling me down on one side. When I’d had two legs, I’d never given any thought to how much having two feet came into day to day comforts. Now I couldn’t get away from it.

Dr. Merryweather slid his chair away from me again.

“Looks like you were lucky,” he said. “I can’t see any signs of swelling, and there are no scrapes or grazes, so you got away with it this time.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.

“You must be careful, though, Gabi. You can’t risk having falls. It’s too dangerous for you. You must take care of yourself.”

I wondered what he would say if he knew exactly what I had been doing to cause the fall.

Something must have shown on my face because he frowned in concern. “You’ve still got support in place, haven’t you?”

I nodded.

“Your dad,” he continued. “Is that right?”

I nodded, though my stomach twisted with anxiety. “Yes.”

“Did he come with you today?”

I shook my head, glad I didn’t feel like I was lying this time. “No, a friend brought me.”

“That’s good. While I want you to be independent, it’s still important you remember to ask for help when you need it, understand?”

“Understood.”

“In that case, shall we try your new leg again, and make sure it’s still a good fit?”

I grinned. “That would be wonderful, thank you, Doctor.”

***

Twenty minutes later,
I walked out of the hospital with my new leg, feeling like I was walking on air. It was such a relief not to have the awful wetsuit-like material right up my thigh, especially in this heat. It had been almost unbearable. Only my desire not to end up back in a wheelchair had made me put up with it, but now my new, foam lined sleeve only came up just past my knee, and I felt so much more comfortable. I walked with a smile on my face for the first time in a long time, and carried the crutches rather than using them to walk. I still had a slightly awkward gait, but at that point I honestly didn’t care.

Back in the parking lot, I spotted Cole sitting behind the wheel of his car, tapping the fingers of both hands against the steering wheel to music I couldn’t yet hear. As I watched, he lifted his hands and air-drummed to the beat, and I laughed. Teenaged Cole obviously still lay beneath the surface of the hardened, tattooed skin he’d developed.

He turned his head slightly and caught sight of me laughing at him. He grinned in return and my traitorous little heart did a flip.

Cole jumped out of the car to meet me. “Hey, how did it go?” He took the crutches from my hands. “Doesn’t look like you need these anymore.”

“It went well. The new leg is so much better.”

He nodded, though there was no way he could understand. “That’s good.” He paused, “Since you’re mobile and everything, I wondered if you had plans for Thursday yet or not.”

“Thursday?”

“Yeah.” He lifted his eyebrows expectantly and then prompted. “July fourth?”

“Shit, really?” I’d completely lost track of the significance of the date. For me, recently, the only important dates were hospital ones.

“I take it that means you don’t have plans.”

“No, I hadn’t even thought about it.”

“I’d love to take you to the display at the beach.”

In our area it was illegal to let off backyard fireworks. With the weather so hot, and everything so dry, they were a fire hazard.

“I don’t know, Cole. I mean, my dad might want to do something with me.” I almost added,
if he’s sober enough
, but managed to hold my tongue.

“He can come, too,” Cole added.

“Seriously?”

“At least then you won’t have to worry about me trying to seduce you.” He gave me a wink and my cheeks flushed.

“Okay, but if I bring my dad, it’s definitely not a date.”

He held up his hands. “Just old friends catching up. Definitely not a date.”

But after he drove me home and I checked with my dad, he said would make some plans with some buddies, and that Cole and I should just go together.

Looked like it was going to be a date after all.