No Turning Back (25 page)

“It won’t be your fault.” Declan placed a soft kiss on her nose.

The sweet press of his lips gave her the strength to keep talking when all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. “I pushed him too far.”

“No, you didn’t. I was in that room. You handed the information over. You didn’t interrogate or blame.”

“The things he said about my mother. The way he taught me to think about her for all those years.” The reality made Leah’s stomach pitch. She gave in to the need to be held. The cool breeze tickled around them, but she barely felt it as she grabbed onto Declan’s shirt with both fists and rested her head on his broad chest.

“That sin is harder to take, but it’s still all his. Maybe your mom was in on it with both of them and for whatever reason picked Charlie, I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter anymore.” Declan’s arms closed around her.

“I can’t imagine a day when I don’t think about it.”

“You’re allowed to be furious and still love him. You’re human if you hate what your dad’s done but still love him. He’s your dad. Give yourself a break and accept that your relationship will never be easy, that you’ll be conflicted, but let the hate go.”

The touch, the closeness, had her spilling her deepest concerns. An hour ago she wondered how she’d ever fallen in love with this man. Now she wondered how she believed she could stop.

His lips pressed against her hair. This close she could smell soap on his skin and that familiar warmth she associated with being held by him. He didn’t just touch her. He tucked her in close and made her feel protected. “Why are you being so nice about this?”

His finger went under her chin and his gaze locked on hers. The emotion was so intense that it hurt to look at him. “Because I love you.”

Her knees gave out and her heart hammered. “What?”

“I know, right?” A sexy smile lit up his face. “Who saw that coming? I certainly didn’t, but I do love you and it’s not going away.”

Hope washed through her. Her heart ached with the need to believe. She wanted to grab on and not look back, but the road was so long and so dangerous. “There is so much stuff piled between us, most of it’s not even our crap, but it’s still there blocking the way.”

“Then we’ll un-pile it piece by piece. Together. We’ll get better about trusting each other over the outside things. Not be so quick to jump to conclusions.” He kissed her before she could fire back. “And I’m referring to both of us, so don’t get all prickly.”

The anxiety whooshed out of her as fast as it filed in. Having everything she wanted hang there, just out of reach, scared her to death. “You make it sound easy.”

“It is . . . well, it is if you love me back.” He made a joke but the vulnerability was plain in his eyes.

She had no idea she had the power to bring this strong man to his knees. To make what she felt matter so much to him that he stood stock still and wary, waiting for her to say the magic words.

But she needed him to understand how she got there. “I wanted to hate you.”

“Same here.”

“You kept surprising me. You were good and strong and seemed to care—”

“Do care.”

“And when you touched me that first time, and every time since, I truly believed everything would be okay. Even when you made me angry enough to punch you, the connection stayed strong. I still wanted to see you.” She brushed her thumb over his bottom lip. “And this famous temper of yours?”

“I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes, but not before she saw the burst of pain.

She had to kiss him then. She leaned in, slanting her mouth over his and deepening the touch until his hands flexed on her waist and he lingered on the edge of taking over. When she finally lifted her head, she said the words she knew would always be true. “I’m not afraid of you. That
is
your one con. You warned me about one thing and delivered another.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You’ve grown up and have it under control. Even at your most furious, I never worried for my safety. My heart broke because I thought you might yell and walk away and then not come back, but I never worried about the rest.”

His gaze searched hers. “I will always come back. Screw that, I never intend to leave.”

Hope exploded, sending tiny slivers of light through her. She no longer had to pretend or fight it. She wanted him to know. “Which is good, since I love you, too.”

His hands clenched against her. “Say it again.”

“I love you, Declan Hanover.” She kissed her way along his jaw. “Bad-boy past, dysfunctional family and sometimes overly controlling attitude when you think you know best. I love it all. Want it all.”

He tightened his hold around her and lifted her until only her toes touched the ground and they were eye to eye. “Doesn’t hurt that we’re on fire in the bedroom.”

Heat flushed through her body at the reminder. “Definitely not.”

He balanced his forehead against hers. “Do one more thing for me.”

“I’d give you just about anything right now.” And if he didn’t move them inside soon, she’d give it to him in the driveway where anyone could see.

“Let yourself grieve for the dad you thought you had and trust me to help you through it.”

How could she not love him? Through it all, Declan’s main concern was for her. He could have said anything in that moment, even made demands on her time and mind. Instead, his thoughts were about what she needed.

“I do love you.”

He wiggled his eyebrows. “Then let’s go inside.”

“Subtle.” She upped him one by wrapped her legs around his upper thighs.

“But it worked because this position is nice.” When she shifted her hips against him, he added a groan.

“Thought you’d enjoy that.”

He balanced her back against the car door. “I was also thinking this house needed a Baron living in it.”

Her breath hiccupped in her throat. “What?”

“Not now. You need time, so in the future. Just think about it.”

He shrugged as if it didn’t matter but the way his gaze slipped away from her, she knew better. Not that she needed even a second to weigh the pros and cons. When a man handed you everything, his love and commitment, you grabbed onto it and didn’t let go.

“Give me a few weeks. We’ve had so much happen and still need to work things out.” She whispered the words against his mouth and watched his eyes go all sexy dark as his erection pressed against her. “But after we work it all through, and I doubt that will take long now that all the secrets are out, the answer will be yes. So, just be sure you want me around that much.”

“Always.”

“Then let’s get started.”

Keep reading for a special preview of the

next Hanover Brothers novel

A SIMPLE TWIST OF FATE

Available from InterMix July 2013

Sophie Clarke glanced out the window of the second-story sewing room at Shadow Hill, the crumbling stone house she’d been cleaning and searching for a month. Two of the three Hanover brothers stood on the lawn below, pacing around a wood chipper and apparently trying to stare it into working.

That summed up Declan and Callen, the two oldest members of the ridiculously blessed Hanover male gene pool. They’d found something that didn’t work, which was almost everything on the estate they inherited from their grandmother, and paced around it, assessing and head scratching. If experience were any indication, eventually one or both would cave and drag out the toolbox.

Then anything could happen.

But they were not her concern at the moment. The younger, sexier and currently unaccounted for brother, Beckett, was the problem. For her, Beck was
always
the problem. He entered the room and her stomach performed a perfect back flip, something completely foreign to her and, she suspected, abnormal in general. Of course she’d found guys handsome before. But that thing where her mind buzzed and words stammered in her throat . . . yeah, that was new.

She dropped the curtain and moved away from the window. She didn’t have time for nonsense and what she felt for Beck was most certainly nonsense. And not at all welcome.

He wasn’t in the room but she could call up his image without even trying. He stood tall and lean with a smile that highlighted a drop-your-panties dimple in his cheek.

Not that she got to see the smile all that much. He spent a good amount of the workday following her around and frowning. She was starting to wonder if that was some sort of lawyer thing because he was one, which became obvious whenever he launched into a droning argument about something.

Man, the guy could talk. And argue. Then talk some more.

Though she had to admit he also was pretty good at standing around looking sort of irresistible in faded jeans. The way his soft brown hair laid against his collar and dropped over his eyes tested her control. She spent most of the time around him wanting to brush the hair off his face . . . and the rest wanting to kiss those lips. Then there were the times when she wanted to strangle him.

Yeah, she needed to finish her search of the house and get out of town.

She inhaled as she tried to gather her focus again. Shadow Hill was big and beautiful, with acres of land and miles of potential, but thanks to the recent decision of the Hanover boys to stay in Sweetwater, Oregon rather than sell the place and head out, her time was almost up. Add to that the sudden and constant presence of Declan’s girlfriend, Leah, and Sophie dreaded having her secret discovered.

She eyed her bucket filled with cleaning supplies sitting in the middle of the floor and tried to believe she’d picked this cover. She hadn’t dusted her apartment in . . . wait, had she ever dusted? But here she was, acting like the Hanover brothers’ cleaning lady and scrubbing this and that and generally gaining huge respect for anyone who did this type of work for a living. Cleaning those stupid grout lines between the kitchen tiles was back breaking work. She didn’t even want to think about what sort of germs loomed under that mop she swished around.

Dumping the paper towel roll into her bucket, she headed for the door to the hallway. With the men shuffling in and out of the house every two minutes, she’d slipped her lock picking kit in the main bathroom’s cabinet under the sink when she stepped in the room a half hour ago. And who ever thought she’d own one of those tool sets? Not her. Two months ago she worked as a receptionist in an insurance company in Seattle. Now she snuck around, opening cabinets and checking floorboards for hollow spaces.

Her aunt owed her big time for all of this.

In the hall, Sophie glanced around for any sign of Beck. The clanking in the kitchen on the floor below had her smiling and thinking about him making scrambled eggs for the umpteenth lunch in a row. Eyeing the grand staircase that curved down to the first floor, she waited for one of the brothers to spring up. When none appeared, she started moving.

With one hand she pushed the hall bathroom door open, ignoring the creak as she spun and jumped inside. Her back hit the door and her eyes closed in relief. It took her a second to realize her sneakers slid across the black and white checkered tile beneath her and a wall of heated steam smacked her face.

When she opened her eyes again, she came face to shoulders with bare skin. Her gaze trailed over the broad chest and light sprinkling of hair that ran the deep groove to his flat stomach then down to . . . yowza.

There was not as much as a washcloth covering him. Nope. She got an open shot of skin, balls and, yeah, totally naked hottie dude. Looked like Beck Hanover excelled at something other than arguing.

Fingers snapped, breaking her woman-versus-penis staring contest. A deep male voice floated through the tiny room a second later. “Uh, hello?”

“Huh?”

“How about we try eyes up here for a second?”

No, no, no.
She followed his command and the finger pointing toward his head. Ignoring the amusement in his voice, she glanced up to meet Beck’s ice blue stare. Water beaded on his chest, probably on every part of him. The ends of his dark hair curled the longer he stood there and one of his biceps twitched in a way she found oddly mesmerizing.

She drew an invisible line across his throat and mentally banned her gaze from dipping lower. Every body part but his eyes were off limits. The stuttering thing started in her head a second later. It took a few deep breaths to get the oxygen flowing to her misfiring brain.

This was all about the shock and not about how good he looked naked. She’d expected to be alone in the room.

She kept repeating the excuse until she tricked her mind into believing it. “What are you doing in here?”

His eyebrow lifted. “Should I shower in the dining room?”

“There are five bathrooms in this house and some of those even work. You could go anywhere else.” In fact, anywhere outside of Sweetwater or any other part of Oregon would be good. Spain maybe.

“Are you serious?” He did that frowning thing. Even full-on naked, he fell back on the annoying expression. Didn’t bother to hide any part of himself either. Even though the towel was
right there on the bar above the claw-foot tub
.

She tried to grab onto an argument . . . and keep her stare from wandering beneath his chin but seconds ticked by. She’d bet a full minute passed until a few words finally unscrambled in her head. “This isn’t the bathroom you usually use.”

“But it is my house and as you can see,” he held his arms out to the sides, “this particular room is occupied.”

Her gaze did a little bounce that time. Really, he invited it, so she refused to feel guilty. She was desperate to search the house but not dead from the waist down . . . and clearly he wasn’t either. Any half-awake woman would look and he sure didn’t disappoint. Every last inch of him looked tan and fit, including a very prominent part of him that was now stirring.

“Good grief!” She threw up her hands, careful not to block all of the tantalizing view while pretending to be horrified. “What are you doing?”

“I’m confused by the question.”

Her act slipped as her hands fell. “What?”

“Are you looking for a biological explanation or something else?”

“It’s rude.”

He exhaled in that loud women-are-so-difficult way men did so well. “Okay, I think we can agree your reaction is a little extreme here. Mine can’t possibly be the first penis you’ve ever seen.”

“Of course not.”

“Because, really, if it is feel free to look as long as you want.” He crossed his arms over his chest, leaving the view of the most interesting part of his body unblocked. “I can wait.”

At twenty-four she had what likely amounted to the less than usual wealth of experience in the boy parts department, but there was that one fumbling guy right after high school who nearly strangled her while taking off her bra off. Who knew the front clasp concept could be so confusing to a horny boy.

Then that other guy, and how embarrassing was it she couldn’t call up his name from memory, then Kurt. They dated for a full year before his niceness combined with her extreme boredom to cause a break-up implosion so tame it ended with breakfast muffins and a trip to buy a lamp.

“Tell me about all this experience of yours.” If possible, Beck’s eyebrow inched up even further.

Now that was annoying. “I’m not a virgin.”

“Did I ask that question?”

“Seemed like it.” She swallowed, surprised she still could without chocking on her tongue. “And, no.”

He wiped his hand through his hair, sending water droplets flying in her direction. “Meaning, no you’re not or . . . ?”

Oh, there was no way they were going down this road. “Are you done?”

He flashed that stupid dimple at her. “I thought you were opening a dialogue on the subject of nudity and its uses.”

He was doing a bit more than stirring now.

Not that she noticed.

“Here.” She reached over, bending past him and bringing her face far too close to his damp chest and the lingering scent of soap on his skin. Something fresh that reminded her of the coast a few miles away.

“Uh, not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing down there?”

She whipped the towel off the bar, shaking the wall with the force of her tug, and held it up to him. When he didn’t take it, she pressed it against his chest. Heat radiated through the thick cotton and into her palm. “Put this on.”

He replaced his hand with hers but didn’t bother to wrap the towel around his waist. Oh, no. Beck being Beck, he just held it until it draped down the front of him, hiding his penis and part of his thighs but little else. “Happy?”

More like breathless
. “No.”

She opened the door to the hallway and let some of the room’s heat spill into the hall, not all of it coming from the shower. No matter how much she wanted to believe that.

It wasn’t as if the naked male body was all that attractive anyway. It was a bit weird with the hanging outside parts and all. At least she used to think so. But the Beck version without any fat and with those lean muscles and that hot part of him where his hips, thighs and that ripple thing on his stomach met? Not bad.

He chuckled. “Look at that smile. What are you thinking?”

“You should have used another bathroom.” Then she saw his smirk. She didn’t trust that one bit. “Why, what are
you
thinking?”

“That I live here and can take a shower wherever and whenever the hell I want.”

She tried to focus on his talking because that seemed to dim his hottie vibe. “It’s the middle of the day.”

“Which is why I made the previous comment.”

“I don’t—” At the thud of footsteps on the stairs, she stopped whatever comment would have come out next and hoped if it was brilliant it would come around again.

Callen filled the doorway a minute later. He glanced at his baby brother, at her, then back to Beck. “You lose your pants?”

“I tend not to wear them in the shower.”

“That’s probably a good plan.” Callen shifted his focus to her. “And you’re doing what, supervising?”

The full impact of joint Hanover male attention always made her a little dizzy. Where Beck possessed a boy-next-door sexiness, complete with firm jaw and a face that could sell just about anything to anyone, Callen had a rougher edge. Taller with darker hair, the oldest and only brother with deep green eyes.

He didn’t scare her. Not exactly. But he was definitely the least welcoming of the brothers and had an ironclad rule that she refrain from going onto the house’s third floor where he was living. A rule she planned to violate the second she knew he would be out of the house for a few hours.

She rushed to come up with an explanation and fell back on a version of the lie she’d been telling for weeks. “I was trying to clean the bathroom.”

“And it made sense to do that while Beck was using it?” Callen asked.

Beck nodded. “Apparently.”

“Of course not,” she said at the same time.

“Then I’m confused.” Callen’s gaze traveled over her, not heated or in a sexual way. More like in a judging I-will-destroy-you way. “And you’re missing something.”

Yeah, a few thousand brain cells that might be helpful right now
. “Excuse me?”

Callen looked at the space around her feet. “Your bucket of cleaning supplies.”

Well, damn
. “I thought you and Declan were working in the yard.”

Beck sighed. “What exactly are you responding to?”

The brothers had her flipping her gaze back and forth until vision blurred. “What?”

“Your answer to Cal made zero sense.”

The light-headedness evaporated in a poof. She blamed Beck. Sometimes he opened his mouth and she had to fight the urge to shove something in there.

“I was just making a comment.” One he wouldn’t have had to hear if he were in another room, but she refrained from pointing that out.

Beck turned his frown on his brother. “For the record, it’s getting harder for a guy to find ten minutes of privacy in this house.”

“Please tell me you’re not still whining about us keeping the house instead of selling. It’s three stories, four thousand square feet and includes several out buildings. Not exactly a shack. Hell, the thing has a name.” Callen shook his head. “Shadow Hill. I mean, who names a fucking house?”

Beck held out his hand, taking the towel to the side with it. “Yet despite the name and the massive size, everyone is in
this
room with me.”

“I’m trying to clean it.” Sophie didn’t bother to look away while she talked. Not that she could stop looking at his erection at this point anyway. And that’s what it was, a full-blown
sweet Moses that’s impressive
erection. She guessed the time for mere stirring had passed.

Beck dropped his arms and the towel but continued his all-naked-all-the-time thing. “Next time I’ll skip the shower and use the hose out back.”

Callen looked ten seconds away from rolling his eyes. “Man, could you take a second and put on some pants or underwear or something? Nobody needs a front row seat to that.”